I think the really interesting skill is learning how to communicate high-status. My mom is always eagerly trying to make everyone happy - which is admirable - but it's an irritating trait - when you try to earn approval by giving it.
On the other hand, I recall that "how to talk like a man" video someone shared in another thread. In that video, the speaker gives an example of how he judo'd some guy trying to AMOG him by just lavishing excessive praise on him. This neurtalized the AMOG'er and earned the speaker points with the other women in the group.
I guess the difference is subtle, but must be something like giving approval in order to earn it is transparent. It's clear you want something from the interaction, and this undermines trust in your leadership skills. Authenticity and candor are more valued than flattery. At the same time, being generous and authentic in your praise earns you points, because authentic praise is given without expecting anything in return.
I'm sure Dale Carnegie must've written about this
On the other hand, I recall that "how to talk like a man" video someone shared in another thread. In that video, the speaker gives an example of how he judo'd some guy trying to AMOG him by just lavishing excessive praise on him. This neurtalized the AMOG'er and earned the speaker points with the other women in the group.
I guess the difference is subtle, but must be something like giving approval in order to earn it is transparent. It's clear you want something from the interaction, and this undermines trust in your leadership skills. Authenticity and candor are more valued than flattery. At the same time, being generous and authentic in your praise earns you points, because authentic praise is given without expecting anything in return.
I'm sure Dale Carnegie must've written about this
A year from now you'll wish you started today