Quote: (01-04-2016 07:32 PM)Dantes Wrote:
Hank, nice post on an important Game aspect.
At first glance, this is a solid method for keeping your frame and punishing her for bad behavior. However, there are some elements here that we can all learn from. I have some alternative points of view which is not meant as criticism of Hank. Handling this stuff isn't easy in the moment and we all know about Monday morning quarterbacking.
1. Put away the phone. It is an obvious method for not dealing with the situation at hand. It is a nervous reaction in an attempt to buy time and hope the situation goes away.
2. If you are going to leave, then leave. Walking away to another part of the bar to see if she notices is another attempt to passively deal with this conflict and something women do. This will never work. At this point your frame was broken for not dealing with the situation assertively and immediately. Your only option to salvage any frame after 30 minutes of allowing this to happen was to eject.
3. 1 and 2 are examples of the flight or fight response. Flight being the chosen method for dealing with the situation. As in "Fight", I do not refer to starting an actual fight. I refer to asserting your presence calmly and confidently. All parties knew what was happening very early on in the interaction. Masculine frame needed to be asserted to put a stop to 3 people disrespecting you.
4. Give consideration to the type of places you are bringing girls for a drink.
5. Rocha makes an important point. This situation should have been dealt with immediately with a strong masculine frame. See his succinct response for dealing with the situation.
6. If you have to show someone how "alpha" you are, you aren't alpha..it is contrived.
7. She was not punished hard enough. Yes, you got laid, but you responded to her within 20 minutes and saw her the same day. In a sense she came out on top. She flirted, got the satisfaction of causing drama and got laid a short time after. You also left another girl, Ashley to go spend time with her. This is another reinforcement of her behavior and clearly indicates her as the prize.
8. I believe in being direct. As far as I can tell, she was never called out directly for her behavior.
9. If you are going to ditch a girl for that kind of behavior, follow through and be congruent. Go silent. Stick to your guns about all this "not caring if I ever see her again" stuff. You can't fake abundance mentality.
10. Hank, nice analysis of the situation and good job with your progression. However, this is not the best way to handle the situation, keep frame, or punish a girl for bad behavior.
Really great analysis, +1 from me.
-CD