[TravelerKai]

(12-28-2015 02:41 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

TK - Man this was brutal, I had to take a deep breath reading this, but thanks for the feedback.

(12-25-2015 01:55 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

Kaotic:

I am late to your thread, but I just have to chime in. I wrote this below in another thread a while back. It applies to you as well.

thread-44982...#pid953135

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Unless you think she is worth marrying, there is no reason to have a LTR go past 2 years. Each year past that, she will grow more bitter than you have not moved towards marriage and validating her efforts being with you. Also it's selfish of you to hold a bitch that long. Give her up to someone who can give her all that shit she wants. Family, marriage, resources, etc. Just because you know game, does not excuse selfish behavior on your part. Be more responsible with what you know. No one should string a girl along for anywhere near that long. That's too much. She shares some of the blame as well for being that fucking stupid, but you were not providing enough leadership in the first place. Once a woman spoils out, it's too late too late to fix em. Also, the fact you felt intense jealously towards her new lay, further shows how selfish you were. You knowing her parents meant nothing. You basically teased them. She needed an older and more serious man that could keep her in line.

Don't get too down on this. Next time, just learn to game being more upfront with these women and with what you want goal wise. If you do not know what you wan't, don't hold any bitches to any obligations as well. Let her go and move on.

I think you're right, noone on either side should waste that much time, especially if you think the relationship won't be going anywhere or if you have no other plans. You're absolutely right that it's selfish. With great power (game knowledge) comes great responsibility.

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Another thing is that I recall you saying in a previous thread you made about you getting her pregnant on accident and it ended with an abortion.

Correct we did end it in abortion, she loved me for riding through it and staying with her and not abandoning her, I did so because I was partially at fault obviously, but I did care of her also, I was NOT guilted into staying with her at all, I chose to.

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You mentioned that she was a feminist but a hot one that would do what you say do. It was as if you had her under your complete and utter control. I did not believe your posts in that regard for one minute. Why? Because I fucking know better. My exwife is a card carrying ultra liberal feminist social worker. I have an ex-gf that is the same thing. Any woman even lightly identifying themselves as one, all do the same shit.

She wasn't a super crazy card carrying feminist, I didn't get that out of her, I think she saw herself as "women empowrrrr ment". She never brought any arguments, she did agree with how a man (as viewed on RVF) should be in the world. She likes when a man takes control, doesn't take shit, and isn't insecure.

I suspected the same, especially with having that femi fist tattoo, actions obviously speak louder than words, I honestly didn't get that vibe, at all, none of that SJW shit was brought up. For example I told her about mattress girl and she told me that bitch should be in jail. False rape claims about Kane on the Blackhawks, she knew what was up. She said the same thing, that girl should be jailed. She thought everyone being outraged especially femmes was a joke, and it was stupid especially since they were privileged to begin with.

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Her being a Latina means absolutely nothing. My ex-gf was a white Latina, that was sweeter than the exwife in many ways but the reason why I dumped her was for the same reason I dumped the ex wife. Lack of real submission. You say she is submissive? Bullshit brother. She is not. Never was. Never will be. Her clowning and showing out when you were talking to that Persian girl is the proof that she is not. I can get the QQ number of a Chinese girl anywhere in the world in front of my wife and she will not act like that. She knows her place, her standing with me, and is comfortable. Not only that, she will never cause me to lose face in public with any person, female or male by being disobedient. She knows her husband does business with many people and she is about MY BUSINESS, not hers. Her business does not even exist. Everything is about me.

You're right, a truly submissive woman wouldn't call me out in public among friends, she'd pull me aside or wait till in private to talk about it. She would've been fine with me just saying hi to another girl. I felt like I did lose a little face, and it is my business.

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If she knew about your fooling around then she would have told you that you can still play outside if you wanted to, if she was a legit submissive woman. You guys in the West, especially you non-religious men, have no idea what a truly submissive woman even looks like, let alone sounds like. It almost does not exist in the US. the amount truly submissive is just too low from a percentage perspective.

I'd say a girl letting you bang other girls when in a marriage or LTR is very low or just doesn't exit in the states, I'd think it's almost impossible, let alone downright dangerous when married here.

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Your issue with herpes is another problem. Her knowing you had that problem but still sticking with you sounds like love for sure, because a woman with her head screwed on tight would not have kept you. Real talk. I'm not going to bullshit you on it.

So are you saying I'm now a damaged man because I have it ? That hits pretty hard man.

Yeah she did stay with me because she loves me, BUT I also rationalized it to her by saying an ex must've given it to me, because I "found out she had it later".

Are you saying I won't be able to find a good woman because of this ?

I've NEVER brought this up to anyone else, only this LTR and the forum know I have it. However, it's been over a year and it's never shown up or had any symptoms for the initial outbreak.

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I also think your break up is not going to complete for a while either. No way you two with all that history will make a clean break. You refused to drop her after she got the abortion. Break up sex/Guilt trip sex may happen. "Hey I just wanna talk real quick, can we meet up for 10 mins?" Turns into a zombie eyed grindfest. You'll both want to vomit after you finish and she may cry right afterwards. None of your new bitches are gonna help you get over it. You basically are in the oneitis stage, whether you want to or not. Even WestIndianArchie sensed that and called it too. He said the next few months are going to be rough for you. He's telling you the truth.

That makes me cringe, I don't see myself ever having sex with her again, especially since I have options.

It's not like im upset after I bang a new girl, maybe I'm a bit numb from everything. I still enjoy my time with the plates and new notches I have.

Yeah Xmas was rough alone, numbing farming got boring for a bit for me. Even maintenance texts were getting old, I took a pause from that yesterday.

Sometimes I do feel alone, even if I've banged a plate.

I did notice once thing, my sex drive with this LTR was fading, probably because I was getting excited about new plates.

It is weird, the regular phone calls, texts, snaps, being a dork. In a sense I miss that a bit, but I do remind myself about why I made this decision. Her families financial situation, smoking like a train, etc.

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Regardless of your health issues etc. you are not really the type for an LTR based upon your posts in the past. I really do see you being a perpetual player, for at least 10-15 more years. Honestly I think you really should. Most men are not ready for marriage at late 20's especially if your paper/finances are not straight. When you hit your stride in the mid to late 30's, you may be better able to make a long term decision.

I agree, most men aren't ready for marriage, even at my age. My paper might not be straight but it's growing. The thing is I enjoyed the LTR and also being a player, I did have best of both worlds. I don't mind having a low maintenance LTR, but when a woman does bring up futures (marriage/kids together), I know it's time to cut it off. Perhaps I should focus on mini LTR's which worked out great (for me at least).

I've always focused on dating younger which makes it easier to avoid the marriage/kids talk.

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In conclusion, you need to continue your growth. Stop talking about how hot she is. We've known she is an ~8 chick. So what. Take her off the pedestal mentally and emotionally. It's not about whether or not you can ever do better than her, it's about what is right for you. You dodged a baby bullet, you dodged the marriage bullet (we think), and your freedom is still available. You have done well for such a young man and the sky is still the limit. There are not many RVF members with that much rep points at your age. Shit, I cannot even think of one right now...

I've taken her off the pedestal, it was tough, but it's moving that way. I think for now yeah I absolutely dodged a bullet.

I appreciate the props TK.

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Chin up, chest out, and suck it up. Let her go and move on. You have delayed her long enough. Let some other guy provide for her and give her the family she needs/wants. Tell her to take a STD test, so she can get some peace of mind, and keep it moving. I won't hate on your for pulling your hand out gently, but please stay focused on what is truly important. If you feel differently that is fine because advice is just advice. It is still your life, you are a man, and you should make your own decisions on your own volition.

I'm letting go, and yeah, I did delay her in her quest to have kids and marriage. I believe she already got tested and does not have it. I know she was still paranoid.

We haven't talked since her text about me receiving the gifts, as shitty as that sounds most the advice about giving her one back says I shouldn't, and I'll probably stick to that. (I wanted to be a gentleman and be polite and give her one back).

I'm sure your advice would be not to get her one back.

TK I take all the advice I've gotten here on consideration, especially valued members as yourself. It does a great service to my well being, and to others who might be in a similar situation.

1. Plenty red flags there, but you played with the fire anyway. Lucky for you, you got away unscathed. Physically and financially at least. Emotions can be worked out. Again, if I was willing to say it aloud, I'm sure the others are thinking it. Stay away from feminists, even the Feminist Diet/Zero calorie flavors. For the love of anything sacred, don't mess with any long term either. Any activity with them is risky really. You don't see Roosh mackin and banging any. WestIndianArchie might bang one, but he is slick and a lawyer. Even then I am certain he would not handcuff one for a LTR. Know thy limits.

2. It can exist, but it would come with some stipulations I'm sure. (eg. Swinging, orgies, bi stuff, etc.) You could go abroad for the same thing without the gay stuff, but that would take some time to get set up for sure. Nothing stopping you if that is what you want (wife + mistresses). That will not be easy though.

3. I would not say that you are damaged goods, but that have a condition that would repulse many women. When I highlighted the point that she must have loved you to death to overlook that (love is irrational not rational), that is what you will have to rely on to get past that problem in the future. No more LTRs for you (more on that later). When it is time for a wife, you will have to build a bond first, educate, break down the risks and considerations, and build a plan together to work around that issue. I won't get into whether or not you need to stop rawdogging, etc. That's too far for me to dig into, but you need to build a strategy for how you want to do things now and later.

4. You cringed because you still feel for her. I said it before, new pussy won't shake that feeling off. All men feel like tossing a bitch off them after a nut. The woman you love and care for is the only exception in the world. When you get one of those, no new pussy can replicate that feeling because there has not been enough time to transpire for a new relationship to cement for you to forget the past one. Multiplying the new pussy won't do it either. If she had betrayed you in some way, like my situation or CleanSlate's situation, that would be different. You are only breaking it off because it would be better for you both, not explicitly because someone ruined the relationship to begin with. You might be a swirling mass of emotions now, but later when 3 chicks piss you off in the same week, another one flakes, you haven't had sex in weeks, let alone a good talk with anyone, your mind will flash her face. That's your money down (3rd down in football). Oneitis in terms of LTRs/STRs do not set quick like epoxy. Shit comes up later when you are most vulnerable, hence WIA's warning to you about the next few months.

Notice how you drift back and forth there? Yeah you miss her. Forget the smoking shit and nitpicky stuff. You actually loved her and love is irrational. Your sex drive drifting off and finding new girls to fuck means nothing. Even married men, madly in love with their wives, get dick swells from hot ass in a tight wool sweater dress and boots walking in downtown somewhere. That shit is not gonna stop brother! I get it all the time, even if the idea of dating an American woman is absolutely disgusting to me. You guys talk about boner test all the time. Boner is boner, no doubt. The difference is the self control/state of mind, to enjoy the sight, understand it for what it is, what it means to you and your goals, and keep it moving. Can't fuck em all, this shit isn't Pokemon. When/If you get to that stage, you will understand it on a deeper level.

5. No more LTRs for you. You better adopt a Roosh diet of ONS or something more moderate that you can handle. STR of a few weeks then NEXT. The minute they start buggin about your whereabouts, etc. and expectations for puss start to rise, cut em loose. Block the number and keep it moving. Take your abundance mentality to the next level. The main reason you don't need the LTR is because you do not need to go through this drama-coaster and your condition to explain it to a new bitch every single time. Fuck that. Keep the shit to yourself and only change course when it is time for you to truly settle down. Do some light traveling and gain some new insights into some things. You don't have to go very far. Go to Central or South America for a couple weeks or more. You already like Latinas. It would be a good exercise for your emotional and mental well being. Worst case, you get to see some nice sights.

6. Don't give her anything back. Let that scab breathe and do not reopen it. Exchanges of anything now, may be an argument later when the eventual "let's talk for 5 mins" comes up. Women are like boomerangs they always come back. Be ready to dodge that frisbee when the time comes. Don't straddle the fence because women are not good at handling that interplay. "Playing with my Emotions" stems from this. When a male RnB singer says this, they are being in touch with their feminine side, because they should have a Next mentality and not be bothered with that.

We got your back here no worries. Just make sure when I am too old, busy, or brain dead to help anyone you take up the torch. Next man up, always.