[quote] (12-14-2015 08:02 PM)Onto Wrote:
[quote='kaotic' pid='1170541' dateline='1450136233']
Edit: I would tell her she needs to quit smoking (cigs and weed) and drinking (heavily) for at least a couple years before you consider marriage. See if she can do it. I would also suggest she quit the bartending/waitress job and get work that is more aligned with your schedule.[/quote]
I like your post ONTO generally but this is too much. Are you going to also send this girl for tattoo removal? Perhaps some new parents as well?
She is who she is.
Two lesser important points. 1. The herpes may have come from her you don't know. Go together for full testing. See how she reacts to that. It is what it is you have to move on like however many other people have this. Many of us who don't have it may have throw the dice and won but it was random chance... 2. That story about "who was she" is a way of controlling you. She doesn't really care she is gaming you on a different kind of game. Which brings me to the overall point.
OP I know she is not a dancer but you sound like a guy who goes on and on about getting into a LTR with / falls in love with a stripper. Its ALL BAD but only you see the positive in the broken little dancer stripper with her struggles etc. Just replace bartender for you.
And this is not a newbie question at all you are in deep shit.
There is no reason on the planet at your age to be pressured to advance this "relationship." Hold your frame man. You are being pressured and you don't really say here why or how, but you have to ask yourself why. I suspect the answer is you are being played.
Ask yourself about your values man. What do you want in a wife? You are young enough to take another decade to get the right one if needed. But look around you at the countless hundreds of thousands of guys who went against their better judgment to rescue a little kitten and ended up in decades of court battles, trying to get time to "raise" their kids who live somewhere else and live with the financial and legal intrusion into their lives that these broken women so easily cause, somewhere just a few years after you get comfortable.
Guilt is a very powerful manipulative tool and you should think about how to let go of its grip over you. Without guilt, are you interested in MARRYING this one???
Although your story is quite different take a moment and read this.
I assure you that you will not break her heart when you make the decision and tell her that this was and will continue to be only fun. She will move on so fast it will make your head spin.
Again, if you take away the "guilt" spell that is the only way you will be able to answer this life question.
Edit: I wrote this before reading that you ended it. Hopefully you will not get vacuumed back in. Good move I think.
[quote='kaotic' pid='1170541' dateline='1450136233']
Edit: I would tell her she needs to quit smoking (cigs and weed) and drinking (heavily) for at least a couple years before you consider marriage. See if she can do it. I would also suggest she quit the bartending/waitress job and get work that is more aligned with your schedule.[/quote]
I like your post ONTO generally but this is too much. Are you going to also send this girl for tattoo removal? Perhaps some new parents as well?
She is who she is.
Two lesser important points. 1. The herpes may have come from her you don't know. Go together for full testing. See how she reacts to that. It is what it is you have to move on like however many other people have this. Many of us who don't have it may have throw the dice and won but it was random chance... 2. That story about "who was she" is a way of controlling you. She doesn't really care she is gaming you on a different kind of game. Which brings me to the overall point.
OP I know she is not a dancer but you sound like a guy who goes on and on about getting into a LTR with / falls in love with a stripper. Its ALL BAD but only you see the positive in the broken little dancer stripper with her struggles etc. Just replace bartender for you.
And this is not a newbie question at all you are in deep shit.
There is no reason on the planet at your age to be pressured to advance this "relationship." Hold your frame man. You are being pressured and you don't really say here why or how, but you have to ask yourself why. I suspect the answer is you are being played.
Ask yourself about your values man. What do you want in a wife? You are young enough to take another decade to get the right one if needed. But look around you at the countless hundreds of thousands of guys who went against their better judgment to rescue a little kitten and ended up in decades of court battles, trying to get time to "raise" their kids who live somewhere else and live with the financial and legal intrusion into their lives that these broken women so easily cause, somewhere just a few years after you get comfortable.
Guilt is a very powerful manipulative tool and you should think about how to let go of its grip over you. Without guilt, are you interested in MARRYING this one???
Although your story is quite different take a moment and read this.
I assure you that you will not break her heart when you make the decision and tell her that this was and will continue to be only fun. She will move on so fast it will make your head spin.
Again, if you take away the "guilt" spell that is the only way you will be able to answer this life question.
Edit: I wrote this before reading that you ended it. Hopefully you will not get vacuumed back in. Good move I think.