[Beyond Borders]

(11-25-2015 02:53 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

After having a few beers with Beyond Borders (hats off to him... the guy is for real and you definitely should meet him when you have the chance),

just for this part.

Haha I kid, but great write-up overall. Let me know when you're headed back out this way.

Allow me to speak about you in the third person for a moment. As I was telling Cleanslate when we met, I think his being deaf is in many ways an advantage for him because it forces the women he engages with to fully step into his world. This is very similar to what I've said about people who are naturally introverted - it may be more of a challenge for them to meet people because they don't have that natural charismatic flow, but once the connection is there it is deadly because the woman is drawn into your reality.

I think this applies to being deaf as well, just from what I can see (my grandfather had a couple strokes that left him unable to hear or speak, by the way, so I've observed this dynamic in the past).

I think being deaf has made Cleanslate, ironically, a great communicator, so while it will take some time to adjust to speaking with him and making each other understand (he talks more fluently as he gets drunk haha), he's also a very sharp and genuine guy, I think in many ways because he had to no choice but to develop that communication style to get through to people and hold their attention.

I've noticed a trend of some guys from the manosphere letting game mentality go to much to their heads and thinking that they have to game their friends and never just relax and fully engage with you. Sending mysterious one-word replies instead of properly communicating, cutting a tad too much with their jokes, and playing some kind of mental battle with you as if there's a need to secure their presence in the interaction.

In my opinion, male relationships don't have room for this dynamic and it gets on my nerves. Maybe it's just my lone wolf nature, but I personally have zero taste for political behavior, even in, or especially in, one on one interactions. And maybe that handicaps me socially in many ways, but that's why I live my life the way I do.

So, if like me, meeting down-to-earth guys who aren't so caught up in the game that they've forgotten how to just be a real pesron is your purpose of meeting with other forum members, definitely take the time to meet Cleanslate if you get a chance.

We'll definitely cross paths again, man. We'll see about the beers, though. As much as I've enjoyed storming through these Filipina girls like the world's going to end next week, I very well may have to jump back to cold turkey again. Not drinking at all is easy for me - drinking just a few, not so much.

The other night, I banged some girl (after 69ing her friend) while her old man was at the store on a beer run, and then when he came back and started fucking around with her, I stole all their beer and cigarettes and took off. haha And that went down even before I went on to smash those three massage girls I told you about a few hours later...

Sooooooo...I think it's safe to say that even after a year of simple and easy sobriety, it's not possible for me to drink "a few" in a place like Manila and not hold it full throttle...

Since I don't add much on game ever and hardly ever make my own threads on it, and since I'll probably have to retire it for a while and start behaving myself again, I'll drop my favorite routine that I've sort of customized for the Philippines from my usual cultural infiltration routine (best for a guy who drinks, but I've done similar things while sober in Davao - just a little trickier).

Walk into a bar with ZERO foreigners in it - preferably one where they have a band and audience members are coming up to take turns singing songs. We're talking low to middle class but real raw Filipino. You should be slightly nervous to be there, and that's key because it means EVERYONE will notice you. You're not some cheesy guy in a suit exchanging cheeseburger grins with overdressed hookers at Gramercy - you're a lone soldier foreigner with balls down below his knees walking off into the city and marching right into the least white place you can find and plunking down and acting like you were born there.

Post up, order a bucket of three brews or whatever and some ice. Drink it in a glass with ice like the Filipinios do. It at least shows you know the terrain. Sing along with the songs you know (under your breath - don't belt it out and draw more attention than is needed lol). People will be curious as fuck.

There will inevitably be a table of guys and girls (probably several), and I shit you not it's almost always more girls than guys at the table that opens me (in contrast to sausage fest American bars), who will ask you what you're doing there or flat out invite you to join. Filipinos are so friendly and fun and it's CRAZY to them that we would go out alone and drink alone. And I guess it kind of is. lol

So they always ask why the hell you're there (especially there) drinking alone.

If they don't, just catch eyes with the girl you like (if you can see she's likely single), raise your glass to her. Eventually they'll invite you over or start a convo. If not the girl, raise your glass to one of the guys and smooth the path for the wrecking ball before you let er' rip.

Okay, so like I said, they'll always ask you why you're there alone.

I mean, at this point you can game on however you want and you'll probably be fine, but now my default answer - look the one I like directly in her eyes with a little half-smirk and say, "Maybe I'm heartbroken." Make an expression that's ambigious enough to leave it uncertain whether you're telling the truth or teasing them, and say nothing more on it.

If they press it (they will), say "Ah, come on, I don't want to talk about that right now."

In the romantic, passionate Spanish-infused Philippines, this is seriously a deadly combo. I almost feel bad sharing it. haha You can almost see the hamsters spinning right in front of you while you change the subject and go on to just be your charming self. You'll notice the eyes beaming at you as they study your face while you banter with their friends.

I said it to this girl the other night while her friends were at the toilet and you could see her whispering to the whole table when they all got back: "He's got a broken heart." The concern and the dreamy look they all exchanged with each other - fucking hell...I felt like a bear with my head in a barrel full of fish.

And the guys here, at least in this demographic, are really cool about helping you hook up with the birds - they will assist you in bedding their friend if they like you. I can't speak so much on that with the upper class and with that crowd you better play it down more, but with lower to mid class hookup culture is very casual. So many young single moms here as a result...that's why I don't feel too bad about it (they all seem to be screwing around pretty freely anyways).

I befriended a bunch of musician guys in Davao and they'd call me all the time to invite me to their gigs. One had a new backup singer, and texted me several times over a two-day period that she wanted me to come meet her...So they are super solid wings if you can get past the typical "All Filipinos are scum" attitude most foreign guys wear blatantly on their shoulder.

So anyhow, it almost has never failed that I end up at a table when I went to one of these places alone - even when sober.

And the shit it leads to...the other night I even ended up closing down the KTV room the next floor up with a lesbian and her drunk ass friend. I tried to pull them both, and the lesbian was raring to come back to the room for a threesom, but I didn't pull because the straight one got jealous of me and the lesbian and got too drunk. But it was fun as hell singing with these two birds all night, my hands all over their legs and asses, and the staff (who sees me bringing in or taking out a different girl every time I come) cheering me on in the background. the three of us singing tagalog songs into the mic all at once until the sun chased us out of the room...it's one of those fun memories I'll never forget regardless of sleeping alone.

And guess who paid for everything in the KTV room - food, drinks, room, and all? The lesbian.

Okay, so this is really the kind of cultural "penetration" routine you could do in any country (with varying results, I'm sure), and maybe this sounds like a lot of trouble for the Philippines. And I must admit not all girls I meet (or bang) this way are the hottest - most are pretty good-looking, but not all. It's just a given that when you go out in the real world you get a cross section of normal people and there won't always be hotties in the room and that's life. Sometimes I just say goodbye and call it a night for that reason.

But come on, while we all know you can just swing a revolving door of girls off the internet here, to me the above is so much more fun and rewarding, and it requires actually CONNECTING with people - and give me that over a passive pussy pipeline any day of the week.

I've dabbled in the online thing and I'll probably continue to, but fuck there's too many to leads to keep up with and it's just a handful and so full of traps and hassle.

Try it the way most guys do it and you'll get laid. Try it my way and you'll get laid.

But my way is a helluva a lot more of a fun cultural experience, in my opinion.

I don't know if I do anything intentional enough to call it "day game," but yeah, grabbing girl's numbers in the daytime and moving them through the sequence is fun and rewarding too. I can't believe how many guys have told me the girls are low quality in the Philippines. Hilarious. Sure, there are plenty of ugly ones, but there are plenty of hot girls to go around - as Cleanslate pointed out, Manila is a city of 15+ million people - and it's so easy that us exchanging game tips for anything but the highest quality women in the country is almost funny (though we can't help ourselves because that's what we do, so share on, of course).

Don't overthink it. Don't think it. Just go have some fun and it's inevitable you'll get laid - as Cleanslate said to me via text one day when I jokingly said "What, there's girls here?" - you'd have to be "really zen" to not fall in with something (again and again). I mean, I saw two separate guys in wheelchairs with alright girls in Davao at the same mall one day. Both visibly deformed. Probably both p4p but still...there's something for everyone.

Last night I took some girl and her aunt out for pizza. I could have swung it but I was so tired from the foursome the night before I just excused myself and went home. Her good night text: "Thank you for happening."

And while I tried to sleep it didn't take long to have a few leads hitting me up wanting to come over, so in the end I didn't really sleep after all.

Can we even call this game? Should we really care?

Just have fun with it, I guess - you only live once.

To me the difficult parts are:

1. Saying no enough to the mid-range to focus on and land the top shelf, but the higher quality women here are charming and hot enough to make it worth that kind of self-discipline, I think. I know I'm not alone in this as I've had about four other seasoned players tell me they don't even bother trying with the hottest ones for varying reasons anymore, so I think most guys who've come here just enjoy it for what it is instead of trying to maximize the possibilities. That's fair, I guess, but personally I'd rather shoot for the quality challenge in a place like this than the quantity challenge. With this many leads and openings, I don't see any reason why not to try and surprise yourself by shooting for the top.

2. Having to disappoint so many girls wears on you too. Ironically, I came to the conclusion a long time ago that it makes more sense to have a steady girlfriend in Southeast Asia than to fuck around because it's just "lead overload" and way too distracting to getting anything done (if you live here rather than visiting), and there is a lot of hassle to deal with as the drama stacks itself up. I will drift back that direction inevitably.

3. Wading through the overload to find someone worth a longer time commitment. There are a lot of snakes; fortunately, I've been in Asia long enough and gone deep enough to know the drill. I think the clearest way to cut down on drama and snakey behavior is to avoid the poor girls, which is easier said than done - and in a big city like Manila, even then you'll see your share of shady shit.

Hope this wasn't too many tangents in your thread. Thanks again for the shout, Cleanslate.