My rules of engagement with women:
- Never apologize for any reason, and never give in
- Refuse to see it her way for any reason, even if you're wrong (especially if you're wrong).
- Do not give into appeals to emotion - "You would really do that?" "That's so evil!" "My guy friends say you're a real jerk!" Don't care.
- Do not play into their "this is a huge crisis". No, it's not, it's silly and petty.
- If she keeps it up, disengage
- Women truly are overgrown children. There's no logic or bigger meaning. It's all based on feelings. Their mood and "problems" change with the wind.
- They pick fights over nothing because they want attention. If you acknowledge their nothing, you've played into it.
One of the biggest mistakes I see men make in LTRs is acknowledging a woman's asinine bullshit as though it had any logical merit, and then playing into it. "Babe, I'm so sorry you feel that way, I didn't mean it like that, that wasn't my intention. I was just trying to make some space in the kitchen. I won't ever move the tuna again." Absolutely fucking not. Those are the same guys who get cheated on, and spend their days apologizing all the time, wondering what they can do to be better husbands and boyfriends.
Blowing off stupid bullshit manufactured fights for attention is actually the most important part of maintaining an LTR or marriage.
Actual conversation last night:
"Hank, can you come in here, we really need to talk about something."
"I'm busy."
"Hank, please come in the living room."
"No. If it's that important you can come into the kitchen."
"Ok."
"What's up, babe?"
"Well, see, um, you moved my stuff in the bathroom without asking me. I just feel it's really disrespectful, and that you're constantly disrespectful towards me. I feel like you need to treat me with more respect!"
"I'm in the middle of doing something important, and you interrupted it over this? Seriously?"
"Hank, this is important. I feel like you're constantly disrespectful to me. My friend Joe Beta agrees. Can you at least admit that what you did was disrespectful, and that you'll start respecting me more in the future?"
"Absolutely not. We're not having this conversation. It's my house, stuff goes where I say it goes. I don't need your permission to move anything. If you don't like that, sleep somewhere else."
"I'm going home! I can't believe I let you disrespect me like this and won't even talk about it!"
"Fine. Go home."
[she storms into the living room and starts to call an Uber. ten minutes later she walks into the kitchen, where I'm still working.]
"Hank, I'm sorry that I overreacted. I appreciate that you let me keep stuff at your home. I just get stupidly emotional sometimes. I don't want to go home. You treat me so well, and I should appreciate it more."
"It's cool."
[sex ensues]
Consistently act like that and she'll describe you to her friends as a stubborn, chauvinistic, pigheaded man who she's hopelessly in love with.
- Never apologize for any reason, and never give in
- Refuse to see it her way for any reason, even if you're wrong (especially if you're wrong).
- Do not give into appeals to emotion - "You would really do that?" "That's so evil!" "My guy friends say you're a real jerk!" Don't care.
- Do not play into their "this is a huge crisis". No, it's not, it's silly and petty.
- If she keeps it up, disengage
- Women truly are overgrown children. There's no logic or bigger meaning. It's all based on feelings. Their mood and "problems" change with the wind.
- They pick fights over nothing because they want attention. If you acknowledge their nothing, you've played into it.
One of the biggest mistakes I see men make in LTRs is acknowledging a woman's asinine bullshit as though it had any logical merit, and then playing into it. "Babe, I'm so sorry you feel that way, I didn't mean it like that, that wasn't my intention. I was just trying to make some space in the kitchen. I won't ever move the tuna again." Absolutely fucking not. Those are the same guys who get cheated on, and spend their days apologizing all the time, wondering what they can do to be better husbands and boyfriends.
Blowing off stupid bullshit manufactured fights for attention is actually the most important part of maintaining an LTR or marriage.
Actual conversation last night:
"Hank, can you come in here, we really need to talk about something."
"I'm busy."
"Hank, please come in the living room."
"No. If it's that important you can come into the kitchen."
"Ok."
"What's up, babe?"
"Well, see, um, you moved my stuff in the bathroom without asking me. I just feel it's really disrespectful, and that you're constantly disrespectful towards me. I feel like you need to treat me with more respect!"
"I'm in the middle of doing something important, and you interrupted it over this? Seriously?"
"Hank, this is important. I feel like you're constantly disrespectful to me. My friend Joe Beta agrees. Can you at least admit that what you did was disrespectful, and that you'll start respecting me more in the future?"
"Absolutely not. We're not having this conversation. It's my house, stuff goes where I say it goes. I don't need your permission to move anything. If you don't like that, sleep somewhere else."
"I'm going home! I can't believe I let you disrespect me like this and won't even talk about it!"
"Fine. Go home."
[she storms into the living room and starts to call an Uber. ten minutes later she walks into the kitchen, where I'm still working.]
"Hank, I'm sorry that I overreacted. I appreciate that you let me keep stuff at your home. I just get stupidly emotional sometimes. I don't want to go home. You treat me so well, and I should appreciate it more."
"It's cool."
[sex ensues]
Consistently act like that and she'll describe you to her friends as a stubborn, chauvinistic, pigheaded man who she's hopelessly in love with.