Quote: (06-01-2015 05:04 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:
Me: "Meet me at 8"
Her: "Ok"
Me: "Meet at my place, i live at xxx"
Her: "where do you want to go"
Me: "My place, i have wine and we could chat, listen to music and watch a movie"
Her: "no I would prefer to meet at a coffee shop"
Me: "They can be a little noisy, its quieter at my place and easier to talk"
Her: "I'm sorry but I want to stay in today"
Respect for trying out this approach, but I don't think you played this right at all.
As Euphoric_Breeze wrote, you are trying to jam 4 things into one single meetup.
But beyond that, your approach was way too abrupt. No build up, no style, no subtlety. You got to approach this stuff with kid gloves on. Don't scare the cat away.
Couple thoughts:
1. Next time, talk to her via text or on the phone for a bit. Doesn't matter what it's about, or really even for how many days, but she has to know you're not a freak or a serial killer.
2. Ease into the invite, and make it indirect. She's not "meeting at your place." She's going to "taste test some new whiskey" with you, that you bought earlier, which implies that she's coming over. Or, she's going to "help you cook dinner," which also implies that the date will occur at your place.
You've got to make it seem like meeting at your place is an afterthought, as the result of whatever activity you've got planned, and that coming over to fuck isn't the only plan you've thought up. Which, typically, is the only plan any guy ever thinks up.
Paint a picture for these girls, let them imagine what you're going to do together. Make it fun, make it seem like she's going to have a good time (she is).
Girls don't want to feel like sluts. Your text made her feel like a booty call.
Go back and read my text screenshots of how I handle the invite and the close. It will help you.
3. Don't ever offer up your address. She needs to ask for it. That's the only way I know she's coming over for sure. Usually it's the very very last thing that the two of you will talk about via texting. The date will already be setup, the time will be agreed upon, and when she's walking out the door to get into her car, she'll text and ask for the address.
You can't just expect to throw your address at the chick and have her be like "oh yeah great I'll be there in 5 so we can bang."
Subtlety, man.