Posts: 13
Threads: 0
Joined: Mar 2014
Reputation:
0
Advice on handling main chick
05-22-2014, 11:22 AM
OK, first a little bit of background:
Hooked up with a girl a while back (maybe Feb). We were friends before (as much as any guy and girl can be...). We also happen to live in the same building, and have been having sex and hanging out on and off since. I've been pretty clear from the start that I don't want anything exclusive, not looking for a relationship etc, and have reiterated that when things have gotten a little touchy. Also may potentially be living with her (and two other guys) after the summer. I've only been sleeping with her, fooled around with a few others and there's several showing interest.
Recently she's blown up again, and I'm lost on what to do, as I've said what the deal was and she accepted that and carried on. I get it's not the ideal for her, but she is well within her rights to walk away.
Any advice? Should I put my foot down and stop it completely? (especially with the chance we'll share a house soon). I'm fairly recently out of a LTR so would appreciate some advice from those more experienced. Finding it hard to maintain regular sex/relationships without them giving me stress in this way. Was considering maybe my nice guy/dick ratio is off. (Furthermore I actually care about her :0 so don't want to hurt her more than I have)
So basically need some pointers on maintaining multiple women game, without them ending up hating me (if that's even possible...)
Thanks
Posts: 1,723
Threads: 0
Joined: Mar 2012
Reputation:
14
Advice on handling main chick
05-22-2014, 12:30 PM
don't go into a roommate situation with a chick you banged and are not sure what is actually going on on both sides. you guys can become friends again if thats what you want, just not going to happen easily if you room together
Posts: 417
Threads: 0
Joined: Apr 2014
Reputation:
3
Advice on handling main chick
05-22-2014, 01:19 PM
^ After REPEATEDLY telling a chick that you just don't want anything serious, IMO, the worst thing you can do after that is move in with her.
Posts: 315
Threads: 0
Joined: Feb 2014
Reputation:
9
Advice on handling main chick
05-22-2014, 01:56 PM
Do not move in...same building? As in apartment building but dif units? Bueno. Same house? As in same kitchen and bathroom. No no. the allure of an in house sexual relief machine is a lie.
Even long term fuck buddies will eventually fade... then your human pockey pussy just got traded for a new, efficient, Cockblocker Deluxe.
Its not worth it.
Especially if you aren't on clear terms with your situation.
Do not shit where you eat.
As for her?
Don't kid yourself... you "care" about her. But, not enough to have already stopped fucking her for sake of her stability.
You're emotionally invested, but its a self serving investment.
If she freaks out, act like you don't care, like its not even happening, and just disappear for a bit. Hit her up in a few days like nothing happened.
"Putting your foot down" and ending it, is sinking the ship you're on to kill the captain. Congrats, success, no more sex.
Do not reiterate the situation to her. You've said it once. Who are you convincing, her? Or yourself.
Actions.
Show it with actions.
If she wants to stop, let her.
But don't press a touchy issue to sate your own conscious... she's a grown up, if she wants to stay in a situation that benefits you both while causing her slight emotional duress... let her.
My long term fuck buddy (three years) is one of my best friends... but I'd never move in with her.
Care about her as a person too much to have her seeing me with other girls... and like myself way way too much to move a potential cock block/argument/stress/nagging into my house.
Last bit a LMR I need is a roommate loudly saying "I could have swore she had brown hair last night... oh. Its not the same girl. Where do you find these sluts." while new girl goes to the bathroom three feet and a thin wall away.
In the end its up to you... but look at how much trouble she's causing already.
Seeing you daily, and with other girls, wont make this easier for her or you.
Consider a different location than living in the same house as her.
If unavoidable, document the experience heavily and write an RoK article for science.
"Fifteen Reasons to Never Move in with a Fuck Buddy."
Or
"I Live with My Fuck Buddy and Its Sorta OK".
Posts: 1,091
Threads: 0
Joined: Aug 2012
Advice on handling main chick
05-22-2014, 06:50 PM
Quote: (05-22-2014 11:22 AM)bassy Wrote:
OK, first a little bit of background:
Hooked up with a girl a while back (maybe Feb). We were friends before (as much as any guy and girl can be...). We also happen to live in the same building, and have been having sex and hanging out on and off since. I've been pretty clear from the start that I don't want anything exclusive, not looking for a relationship etc, and have reiterated that when things have gotten a little touchy. Also may potentially be living with her (and two other guys) after the summer. I've only been sleeping with her, fooled around with a few others and there's several showing interest.
Recently she's blown up again, and I'm lost on what to do, as I've said what the deal was and she accepted that and carried on. I get it's not the ideal for her, but she is well within her rights to walk away.
Any advice? Should I put my foot down and stop it completely? (especially with the chance we'll share a house soon). I'm fairly recently out of a LTR so would appreciate some advice from those more experienced. Finding it hard to maintain regular sex/relationships without them giving me stress in this way. Was considering maybe my nice guy/dick ratio is off. (Furthermore I actually care about her :0 so don't want to hurt her more than I have)
So basically need some pointers on maintaining multiple women game, without them ending up hating me (if that's even possible...)
Thanks
Be 3.0 and be unfenced with her.
Dozens and dozens of concurrent relationships are easy to do when you are 3.0 and unfenced.
I am putting together some free videos which I will release this summer on this exact subject.
Telling her that you "dont want a relationship" with her is exactly the wrong way to go about it.
Posts: 114
Threads: 0
Joined: Jan 2014
Reputation:
0
Advice on handling main chick
05-22-2014, 11:50 PM
Just by having delusional female friends I can honestly say this girl is looking forward to moving in with you more than anything thinking it will trap you into a relationship with her(he can't POSSIBLY hookup with other girls if we live in the same house, right?). Do. Not. Do. It.
Posts: 212
Threads: 0
Joined: Apr 2013
Reputation:
27
Advice on handling main chick
05-23-2014, 12:13 AM
Another vote for don't do it - those vagina tingles will fade unless you keep her at arms length.
I've been there and done that. The last thing you want is for her to become comfortable because you can't throw her out when she starts giving you shit.
Instead of letting her move in, allow her to have extended overnight visits - like two or three nights, and move some things in. My main chick gets to leave some articles of clothing draped over the couch and bed along with some spiked pumps because it makes her feel better. I tell her to come over for 2-3 days and then GTFO as her tingles dry up. It only takes one night without me for the fire to get back in her.
We lived together for 5 months before that and things got so bad that I had to get rid of her for a while - but this is the best balance to have. I know you haven't seen both sides of the fence but believe me, you don't want to.
The important thing is, you can still give her the boot if you need to. When you take that tool out of your arsenal, she's got you by the balls and is holding them hostage.
Posts: 1,132
Threads: 0
Joined: May 2013
Reputation:
115
Advice on handling main chick
05-23-2014, 01:47 AM
What do you WANT to do? Do that.
Posts: 6,656
Threads: 0
Joined: Apr 2014
Reputation:
27
Advice on handling main chick
05-23-2014, 05:39 AM
Something tells me OP wont take the advice given and will live with her and thus learning a valuable lesson.
If this girl blows up after saying she is ok with only sex then its a classic example of a hamster saying one thing but her actions say differently. She wants you to be exclusive and I bet she goes nuts thinking about you and other girls.
Now imagine if you stopped having sex and brought another girl over to the house you both live in. She may have varied uses for your toothbrush.
Posts: 3,541
Threads: 0
Joined: Apr 2014
Advice on handling main chick
05-23-2014, 09:29 AM
This is a mental idea OP.
Absolutely mental.