Long story short. Have been in a relationship with a (mostly) fantastic girl little over one year. Super kind, always there for me, giving, generous, really hot (yes… guys turn around on the street, watching her go by)
My pad, which is very nice, is paid by my company. I can't have other people living there, but a GF spending a few nights a week isn't really an issue. During this year, the topic of moving in together has arisen, and I've told her it would be nice to live together some day. Nothing more, just an aloof but positive attitude.
My GF shares an apt with another girl. They don't get along really well, but the place is tiptop and she got everything she'd wish for. Generally I make her come to my place 90% of the time we hang.
The other day she found out that her flatmate is selling the apartment, and she'll need to consider an alternative. She makes OK enough to find a small pad and I supported her browsing for flats…
Last night I was having a few beers and dinner with my bud at a dive bar to which she came over (after calling and asking why i don't upen my door at home) to make a scene. The message was that I'm not supportive enough offering my pad up for her or suggesting that I'll move out for us to find something new together. I was apparently a "liar" since I've been talking about how nice it would be to live together some day, but not being up for it now - that she needs my help.
I told her straight up, that it isn't cool at all what she's suggesting. Naturally i'm supporting her, and she can live there if she won't manage to find something in the beginning - but Its still good for us to have our own places bla bla bla, and the fact that I don't wish to cause a mess at work.
Observation 1) This is not a genuine desire. She needs a "provider"..
Observation 2) In the future, never ever speculate in shit you can't stand be hind 100% once the situation occurs (living together). Silence is the answer.
Tonight we talked again at her place, she was acting out and questioning my "love for her", saying that she'd do anything for me (Which is true) - and what was I doing for her, now. I'm not so sure that argument would hold if I was to be the night shift manager at Domino's pizza, weighing 40lbs more, but let's leave that aside from the hypargamous notion of "unconditional love". I was calm all the time, and told that feelings towards as moving together, getting married and the rest should grow naturally and not be pushed due to circumstances as these. Sure, I get the part that she's in a shitty situation but I made it clear to her I love her (she didn't say anything about loving me) and it will be all right. She is just acting out of proportion.
I'm leaving town this weekend, and suggested we take a small break and think things through. She's kept repeating that she knows "how this will end" (break-up) which frankly is a depressing, negative mindset. Calm down, I said, a million times..
Besides being cuckolded, isn't she also projecting her un-love, or whatever the fuck is going on, on to me?
Whats your take on this?
My pad, which is very nice, is paid by my company. I can't have other people living there, but a GF spending a few nights a week isn't really an issue. During this year, the topic of moving in together has arisen, and I've told her it would be nice to live together some day. Nothing more, just an aloof but positive attitude.
My GF shares an apt with another girl. They don't get along really well, but the place is tiptop and she got everything she'd wish for. Generally I make her come to my place 90% of the time we hang.
The other day she found out that her flatmate is selling the apartment, and she'll need to consider an alternative. She makes OK enough to find a small pad and I supported her browsing for flats…
Last night I was having a few beers and dinner with my bud at a dive bar to which she came over (after calling and asking why i don't upen my door at home) to make a scene. The message was that I'm not supportive enough offering my pad up for her or suggesting that I'll move out for us to find something new together. I was apparently a "liar" since I've been talking about how nice it would be to live together some day, but not being up for it now - that she needs my help.
I told her straight up, that it isn't cool at all what she's suggesting. Naturally i'm supporting her, and she can live there if she won't manage to find something in the beginning - but Its still good for us to have our own places bla bla bla, and the fact that I don't wish to cause a mess at work.
Observation 1) This is not a genuine desire. She needs a "provider"..
Observation 2) In the future, never ever speculate in shit you can't stand be hind 100% once the situation occurs (living together). Silence is the answer.
Tonight we talked again at her place, she was acting out and questioning my "love for her", saying that she'd do anything for me (Which is true) - and what was I doing for her, now. I'm not so sure that argument would hold if I was to be the night shift manager at Domino's pizza, weighing 40lbs more, but let's leave that aside from the hypargamous notion of "unconditional love". I was calm all the time, and told that feelings towards as moving together, getting married and the rest should grow naturally and not be pushed due to circumstances as these. Sure, I get the part that she's in a shitty situation but I made it clear to her I love her (she didn't say anything about loving me) and it will be all right. She is just acting out of proportion.
I'm leaving town this weekend, and suggested we take a small break and think things through. She's kept repeating that she knows "how this will end" (break-up) which frankly is a depressing, negative mindset. Calm down, I said, a million times..
Besides being cuckolded, isn't she also projecting her un-love, or whatever the fuck is going on, on to me?
Whats your take on this?