I used OKCupid several months ago, to marginal effect. I got one bang, with a girl who was a complete mess. I had a few dates otherwise, and were either fat, boring or both.
But, I recently got back into it, and I'm having much better success. Some things I've noticed:
IM: 95%+ turn it off, but a few don't. Come up with an original, funny line and say it to them. If it's any good, and they're legitimately looking to meet people, you're now talking to them. IM conversations resemble their real personality a lot more than their inevitably contrived profile.
Common Background: I'm Jewish, and went to a prestigious university. My response rate among college grads and Jews especially is higher. Upper middle class girls respond to me better overall.
Education & Intelligence: I find that college-educated girls and girls who specifically request good conversationalists are more amenable to clever verbal game, i.e. easier for me to get; When talking to them, the conversations are much more vibrant. That's been true in real life for me too, so maybe the low-brow guys just do better with low-brow chicks. I get bored easily with always trying to pick up the conversation.
Pickup line: Usually I ignore their profile and come up with something based on a photo. It seems kinda try-hard to say stuff like "OMG I Read Eat, Pray Love too
" but sometimes the photos will have nothing. My first messages are never longer than one or two sentences. Is this optimal? Maybe not, but it acts as a hook. The girls I would end up meeting would write back an entire paragraph.
Sluts: You can answer the questions so that slutty chicks show up as your matches, but I don't recommend it. I did this initially, and it didn't help much. The sluts get more messages, and they seem harder to pick up. Screen out the girls who are against premarital sex, but anything more is probably counterproductive. You can change your answers to questions.
Fatties: Hitting on a chubby chick because she'll put out quicker is a bad move, because you'll still need to talk to her, appear in public with her, etc. Generally speaking, average = fat. Also, if the girl doesn't mention anything fitness related in her profile, and doesn't look thin, there's a good chance she's fat, at least around here.
Precision and Volume: Your search needs to resemble one you'd do for a girlfriend, not a fling at last call. You can't rely on body language and aggressive kino to make sex happen, because you need to arrange a meet first. I'm sure I could hook up with many of the girls if they went on a date with me, but for most it won't get to that point. Target the girls who you'd have little trouble dating.
The Close: You shouldn't need to write more than three to five messages back and forth. I say something like "I have this thing for meeting people face to face" then sign my first name and my phone number. They get the hint or whine about not knowing you well enough. The latter group are not worth your time, they are attention whores. Girls who give out their number early are not desperate, but emotionally secure. Then text them something funny, and next say "can you take a call," they say yes, and now you're on the phone with them, chatting 'em up, and then scheduling a date. In sum: Icebreaker message --> 1-3 followup messages --> number close --> brief SMS conversation --> phone conversation: flirt and arrange date.
Bonus: Smart unemployed girls are the best, because their job status has lowered their bitch shield. Other venues for meeting men are more closed to them, because they lack money. They will appreciate your attention that much more.
I started using it a week or two ago, and I've had two first dates from OKC, one upcoming and one to be set soon. One date was a disaster, chick was incredibly fatter than pictured, the other was great. I also had a date from the site HowAboutWe, which has a great setup, but not many users, in my city at least; friends in other cities speak highly of it. It costs money, but the coupon code "YELP" should give you a month's access. FWIW, I had two dates from that site, and both girls were fat.
I like online dating because I can sift through tons of girls and find the ones who are most compatible. I'm not nerdy, but my tastes and conversations are a little high-brow, so girls of average intelligence bore me. The bad thing about online dating is that girls are bombarded by bad game from hordes of men, so they close themselves off. It's like being at really crowded bar. Plus there are lots of fat chicks.