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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
11-29-2011, 10:23 AM
BACKGROUND
Hi guys, last friday I was running my mouth off at work about how how weak the so called very spicy foods are in Canada.
Some guys thought 'Fcuk Moma and his I know it all bullshyt and they said "If you are such hotshyt, Mr Europe, you will go to this wings place and finish the Armageddon."
The Armageddon is this serving of hot wings where one has to sign a waiver before eating it. You are also not allowed to leave the place with the wings in case you give it to someone who has not signed the waiver.
MY LOGIC
I repeatedly thought that this was excessive Canadian super protective nonsense as a food place cannot and should not be responsible for who their patrons feed their food to.
What if a place that serves peanuts serves a peanut dish to a person who takes it to go and gives it to someone with a peanut allergy?
Should the food place bear the responsibility for that?
I think not.
I voiced this repeatedly and a few guys had enough of my Canada is soft rantings.
THE SITUATION
A pot has gone out and many have bet that I cannot finish the order of Armageddon wings (10 wings).
For every piece that I do not finish, I have to give a buck to everyone who put in on the bet.
There is five dollars per person (four people in so far) and I get the pot if I win.
If I lose, I could be out forty dollars at the most if I can't even eat one wing.
MY QUESTION
My question is, what I can eat prior to or have on hand that will bolster my tongue and system for this ordeal into Armageddon?
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
11-29-2011, 10:30 AM
Pre- Challenge 4oz Apple cider vinegar then hydrogen peroxide for the tongue and sprinkle some baking soda on the wings when nobody's looking and you will be fine.
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
11-29-2011, 11:50 AM
The waiver is probably there to boost the "holy fuck this is hot" allure of it. Get your mental game down, make yourself believe you can do it, that the wings are not spicy. Get drunk beforehand and drink milk during (no alcohol). DONT TOUCH YOUR FACE. with your hands and DO NOT STICK YOUR FINGERS IN A LIZARD AFTERWARDS. unless she likes the sensation of being on fire (made that mistake the hard way). Maybe get a lizard to give you a BJ during to distract you. Good luck, make us proud ahaha.
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
11-29-2011, 04:04 PM
Lol at even Canada's food being bland and boring. Bring a gallon of milk with u Moma.
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
11-29-2011, 05:20 PM
Do what homer simpson did and coat your mouth with wax.
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
11-29-2011, 05:43 PM
Heavy cream.
It'll coat your mouth with lactic acid and fat, both help.
Also, eat quick. I've done a few of these challenges (I love me some spicy food) and if you stop, you're dead. Just plow through at top speed, ride the endorphins through.
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
11-29-2011, 09:25 PM
I'm also one used to eating lots of spicy and very hot food and a good bet to offset the killer burning is to have some bread handy. Oh and icy cold water won't hurt neither. When is this Armaggedonesque event going to be to held Mr. Lizard Slayer? I'd love to witness that.
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
11-30-2011, 02:09 AM
Where can I get some nice spicy food in Toronto?
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
11-30-2011, 08:29 PM
Quote: (11-29-2011 11:50 AM)WesternCancer Wrote:
DONT TOUCH YOUR FACE. with your hands and DO NOT STICK YOUR FINGERS IN A LIZARD AFTERWARDS.
Hahahahaha.
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
12-01-2011, 01:02 PM
i was cooking for a girl once (she couldnt cook worth shit) just finished chopping up some hot red peppers. i guess my culinary skills turned her on and she came onto me. we start making out, i put her on the counter and start fingering her. 5 seconds later screams of pain. i couldn't stop laughing.
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
12-01-2011, 06:03 PM
Moma, since you have grown up eating very hot foods, you should be fine. Besides, you could also keep some sugar packets in your pocket, that way if your tongue is too hot you can eat some sugar.
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
12-01-2011, 06:44 PM
I was listening to public radio a couple months ago (in Canada) and somebody died from heart complications from one of those hot food sign-a-waiver contest. The others just couldn't finish and a couple went to the hospital. I think they were just Canadian pussies but I've heard of these contests in NM and they are for real. I think this contest involved ghost chili peppers but it was a while ago so I can't remember all the details.
But how often do you sign a waiver before you eat regularly and how often does the waiter ask if you have allergies? That shit is on you and these waivers for hot food contests are dead serious. Your tongue and lips will be burning pretty bad for 10-20 mins (it will feel longer) if you do this contest but just tough it up if you like hot food, its only ten wings. Eat them fast. Oh yeah, and accept that things might taste differently for a while afterwards. You'll probably build your hot food tolerance some more, too. I've noticed that tolerance does tend to go down over a couple years if you want it to, though.
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
12-02-2011, 11:17 AM
Count down has begun and I am feeling a bit nervous..big money coming out from the bigwigs at the company..this shyt is going to wire..I got my cucumbers ready and my baking soda...ahhhh shyttt!
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
12-02-2011, 11:52 AM
Update: Armageddon is no longer sold. I have been entered for the next one down which is the H-b***.
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
12-02-2011, 01:29 PM
Okay guys, it's done. There is no Armageddon so the guys bet on the next one down and I gulped those down like a pelican does a goldfish.
Moma = + 40 bucks
Those guys = Don't bet on the British.
Boom, Boom!
OUR NEW BLOG!
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My NEW TRAVEL E-BOOK - DOMINICAN REPUBLIC - A RED CARPET AFFAIR
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Love 'em or leave 'em but we can't live without lizardsssss..
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
12-02-2011, 01:44 PM
Nice!
Was it even any hotter than what you usually eat?
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How can Moma survive Armageddon?
12-03-2011, 03:34 PM
Congrats! use any special tricks or just took it to the head?