Quote: (08-20-2014 08:19 PM)reaper23 Wrote:
adding on to what menace said, here is a real life example:
Great example from reaper23.
Quote: (08-21-2014 04:19 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:
In my beta days during my relationship, I stayed up and talk to the girl until 4am. I bought the plane ticket to go see her, just for her to throw the "Im not having sex with you" at me. Despite that I still take her to a very expensive ice cream place bc I promised her I would and at that time I wasnt a guy who back down on his promises.
Thinking back HARD I would still say I did what I wanted to do, because I wanted to see her, I wanted her to feel good at my expense. But that was pathetic as fuck and I would still hit myself thinking about it.
I want to make sure everything I do now is not blind-sided by my passion for a girl and that it comes from a position of strength.
On this point, when do you guys deem a girl qualified for a reward from you? Sure standard for behavior differs for everyone, but I wanna hear what your girls do that prompt you to reward her.
See, you say you wanted her to feel good at your expense. Here's the thing, you cared about her and wanted her to feel good. That's not a problem in and of itself, but when you want her to feel good to your detriment, which ultimately is clear in this case, that's not a good thing at all.
I'm going to add to the excellent list that Menace put forth with some examples of my own. My additions in BOLD below Also, reaper23's comments on some of the other factors involved are pretty key:
-being fully present when we are having sex; when she is uninhibited and lets her true full sexuality through
My girl is uninhibited in that she is fully willing to please me and let herself go. She's not a wild crazy sex girl, but she is turned on by me being dominant and in charge. She finds it incredibly sexy and submission to me is not a forced thing, it's her pleasure. She will rarely directly initiate sex, but I can't remember the last time she wasn't fully willing. Despite not directly initiating sex, she definitely initiates physicality in the sense that she is always wanting to be near me, touching me, resting my head on shoulder, showing her affection for me. Now, she doesn't smother me. That's a key thing, but she is very affectionate.
-being feminine, sweet, and agreeable
My girl doesn't act masculine. She's a high level amateur athlete and she wouldn't think of celebrating a point in a masculine fashion (yelling, hooting and hollering, etc...) that I see other non-feminine women do.
-when she volunteers to do things like cook me dinner or other nurturing activities
My girl regularly invites me to come eat with her whether it's family or friends she's eating with. Not because she needs me to be there, but because she genuinely wants to make sure I'm fed and not going hungry (like when I'm working late). She also offers to pick up food and bring it to me. She offers to help me clean up after BBQs and parties, etc...
-when she dresses well and looks and smells good
While this is definitely something good, it should be a default for any woman I'd think.
-when she touches me with affection (outside of sex)
See above about her not initiating sex much but definitely being affectionate (which leads to sex and demonstrates her utter attraction/emotional investment with me).
-when she acts silly/childish (Asian girls are good at this)
My girl is self-sufficient and responsible, but she is definitely a happy girl who laughs easily/often, and has no qualms with acting like a little kid when having fun/relaxing. I can people watch with her and make up silly stories/thoughts about other people and she will be giggling like a school girl. Very nice thing.
Quote: (08-21-2014 08:57 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:
I went out recently with my friends and a beta paid for a female friend s drink unprompted. In his words it makes HIM happy. The girl herself was uncomfortable. Pathetic.....
Betas are so disgusting to girls because they are too free with their emotions and they're trying to buy love whether it's with acts, or with money. The girl was uncomfortable because he's pretending to like giving her things, but in fact, he is only giving her those things because he secretly (not so secretly) would love to kiss her ass and one day be able to make out with her or fuck her. They are loose with their feelings, just like a slut is loose with her sex.
Quote: (08-21-2014 08:57 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:
But say, and this is a real possibility, my girl keeps behaving nicely and its due time I reward her, and on some special etc. day she wants to go out or whatever while I have something to do. I WANT to reward her and I know she deserves it. Should I put my business aside and put my girl ahead? These are the grey area of LTR as contrast to short term game.
There is grey area everywhere. The details are key.
Say she tells you she wants to do something on a special day and it's a week or less notice. You can't really reschedule without it seriously impacting what you have going on. That's a total no go.
You have something scheduled that with enough notice (say a few weeks) it's not a big deal to re-schedule and she gives you plenty of notice and asks you and it's obvious she would really enjoy it if you could make it. Up to you. I think it's a reasonable thing if you're in a relationship.
For example, I'm going on a trip with my girl with a couple of her friends and some mutual friends. She said she REALLY wanted to do it and had done most of the research and wanted to lock down my schedule if I could join her. She started discussing dates and details with me well over 2 months in advance (as well as with everyone else). It's going to be a tough couple of days to take off with my work (because of an event the following week), but because I locked it in so early and it's not a direct conflict, it's not a huge deal.
It will be a fun trip and since it's near my bday and otherwise I'd be working on my bday, I'm calling it my birthday trip and telling her I'm only wearing my birthday suit. She's providing the equipment we'll need and I'm sure I'll help hammer out some additional logistics, but she's pretty much planned the whole thing and put together what will be a pretty fun trip for everyone involved.
Thing is, she knows my schedule is very busy. She asked very nicely and did almost all the research/pre-planning. It will be a cool trip and it's to an area I've never been and has a lot of neat stuff to do. Falls right in line with something I would want to do already, so it is almost a no brainer for me to do it.