I'm throwing this out to the board. Problems or not problems? Is it me?

#1: I go to dinner with a woman and pick up the tab. It's a very casual local place, so no big deal. We then go a convenience store to get some stuff for later. She finds a dollar. She doesn't offer it to me, but keeps it. This is minutes after I paid the dinner bill. This really sticks in my craw because I feel it's indicative of character. It's not the money, but the principle.

#2: A woman stays at my place. The next morning I offer her something to eat. She declines. A half hour later, she decides she wants some cereal. She fixes herself a bowl...and doesn't ask if I want anything. Again, I'm annoyed.

#3: Same woman as #2. Finishes the cereal. Instead of putting the spoon in the nice dishwasher I have, I see her out of the corner of my eye run it under water, dry it off, and put it back in the drawer. Ew! Gross! Or is it? Do people do this? I never have, but maybe this is normal...for other people.

Thanks in advance for any input. I need to know if I'm going to be returning the messages that are piling up. Both women are nice-looking, but people become ugly and annoying to me when I feel they breach social etiquette. Or, am I just really uptight, and get wound up over things other guys wouldn't notice?

I think this is more of an isolated incident than anything. You just need to meet better girls and people in general. Maybe work on attracting better people into your life. You should go to Japan if you want to meet polite girls. Girls will suck your dick, say thanks, and make your bed afterwards. Most women I've slept with in Asia have been really sweet and politei.

Lol I have the same disease. Girl in situation #3 has to go because that just seems like an indicator of even worse habits. It's nasty on its own still.

Number one may be a little selfish, but who knows, maybe she's going through some things

Trashy behavior. i'd usually call them out and say "hmm, you're not really ready for a relationship are you?"
if a woman isn't paying her share i'll usually ask her for a dollar in the morning for sex, and insist on it.

nah, bitches are rude these days. They need to especially stop "like fucking like swearing and like shit."

Let me guess, these 3 incidents you listed were all American girls?

She's rude.

Yes, that's the norm with white American girls.

I would call her out on it.

Or eject and find a non-American girl or first generation American girl.

None of my girls act like this and I wouldn't tolerate it for a second.

I would have taken the dollar from her at the store and give it to a homeless person outside, then looked at her like she was a selfish bitch.

The dishes move is unsanitary and obvious proof she doesn't even know HOW to wash dishes.

Chicks know they have to cook, clean and do my laundry if they stay over. No exceptions.

If not, I get a maid for next to nothing weekly.

I have this thing called balls between my legs and the last thing I'm going to spend my time doing is washing dishes, cleaning the toilet and washing clothes. Fuck that, time is money.

Quote: (06-03-2014 10:31 PM)Vitriol Wrote:  

Let me guess, these 3 incidents you listed were all American girls?

Yes, these are two American girls. Reminds me that when I last had a Russian woman over, she practically offered to pay for room and board. Shame she had to move across the country.

You're a respected member around here, but with all due respect you're being too uptight on this. Those behaviors are possibly an indicator of worse habits, but those 2 are not worth to even bring up! you know like I do that women are fickle and want to force chivalry upon you, and want to refuse it as much as possible, as long as they don't need to spend $.

And the other still cleaned the spoon! Us gaming guys deep in the game we sometimes see who that chick will become and the cuntness and arrogance in their most common actions, but we gotta learn how to chill sometimes! I'm guilty of that myself too.

Yeah, poor social etiquette is definitely something that ticks me off. Classiness and the correct way to handle yourself is part of culture. It's always been engraved into my head to act a certain way and that's how it should be. A lack of etiquette is, to me, a huge lack of character.

As for your three instances, I'd rank, starting from the worst: 1, 3, then 2. Maybe that's just because I'm Jewish haha.

#1 is pure selfishness. #3 is stupidity. She should either ask what to do with the spoon or use her instincts and put it in the dishwasher. And as far as #2 goes, I wouldn't expect the girl to offer me food. But I would expect her to chew with her mouth closed and clean up after herself. What would have ticked me off more about #2 is that she told you she's hungry only a HALF HOUR later!

-R

She was raised in a barn. No manners, not even good hygiene. Although a lot of American women are rude, she's worse than most.

Quote: (06-03-2014 10:13 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

#1: I go to dinner with a woman and pick up the tab. It's a very casual local place, so no big deal. We then go a convenience store to get some stuff for later. She finds a dollar. She doesn't offer it to me, but keeps it. This is minutes after I paid the dinner bill. This really sticks in my craw because I feel it's indicative of character. It's not the money, but the principle.

#2: A woman stays at my place. The next morning I offer her something to eat. She declines. A half hour later, she decides she wants some cereal. She fixes herself a bowl...and doesn't ask if I want anything. Again, I'm annoyed.

#3: Same woman as #2. Finishes the cereal. Instead of putting the spoon in the nice dishwasher I have, I see her out of the corner of my eye run it under water, dry it off, and put it back in the drawer. Ew! Gross! Or is it? Do people do this? I never have, but maybe this is normal...for other people.

For the record, just wondering, whats wrong with not offering you the dollar? Was it yours? It seems like not a big deal to me. If I was with someone and I found a dollar, I would keep it, it wouldnt even cross my mind to offer them the dollar. If someone said I should, I wouldnt be able to explain why.

#2 is a bit inconsiderate but I wouldnt really care either way. Maybe she figured you already ate something half an hour ago. Indicator she may not be caring, but really you need more information to judge, since she could be caring in general, but not think to offer you food.

#3 should be gross, but I am "gross" in general, so I wouldnt mind.

A bit off topic, but on washing dishes- My family always washes dishes once with detergent, than puts them in a basin of water. Then rinses the dishes again to get the detergent off, before putting them on the rack to dry.

When I went to a friends house a few years ago, they would simply wash it with detergent and put it straight on the rack(to dry). I was a little child back then(well, I was 13 or so) and I didnt say anything. But it just felt wrong that they put the dishes with detergent straight on the rack. I just thought "what the fuck?".

Do they expect that the detergent will just magically evaporate if you leave it there long enough? Sometimes I can even see the foam on the spoons/forks! Is it actually standard for (white) people to not rinse their dishes after theyve washed them? Admittedly, my family is Asian, while other family was white.

Its an American/ Anglo thing, therefore its rude. Heck, if you're in Texas or the Deep South, most women (and men) will be extremely polite. In the Northeast and California, men are expected to be polite while women are encouraged to be cutthroat cunts. Nice women from these places are hard to come across.

God White Americhix are so rude, the strange thing is that they think they're being funny. (edit i think the commenter from the South is right, Cali Cunts are bad...)

Today I went in a Trader Joes and there were a couple canvassing for some cause out front. There's been all demographic groups doing it, black guys were humorous, white guys were quiet , only the white chicks were rude and intrusive.

They said something sarcastically , in a piercing nasal voice, like "You look like a person that wants to make the world better."

I didn't even look at them, I think they were surprised, they were only 20 lbs overweight, they think they're hot.

Quote: (06-03-2014 10:59 PM)cooledcannon Wrote:  

am "gross" in general, so I wouldnt mind.

A bit off topic, but on washing dishes- My family always washes dishes once with detergent, than puts them in a basin of water. Then rinses the dishes again to get the detergent off, before putting them on the rack to dry.

I've never seen anyone do the double rinsing like that in the USA.
I wash them in the soapy water, drain the sink, then rinse them under running water to get the soap off. I think restaurants are supposed to use a 160 degree clean rinse.

It may be a good idea, I don't know. I have other ways to use my time I prefer than perfect dish hygiene. I never get sick, so as far as I know what I do is adequate.

Any further washing/rinsing for me would be for aesthetic reasons which I think are fine if you like that, but i don't think it's appropriate to judge others as hygienically inferior because they don't do it.

Quote: (06-03-2014 11:33 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

Quote: (06-03-2014 10:59 PM)cooledcannon Wrote:  

am "gross" in general, so I wouldnt mind.

A bit off topic, but on washing dishes- My family always washes dishes once with detergent, than puts them in a basin of water. Then rinses the dishes again to get the detergent off, before putting them on the rack to dry.

I've never seen anyone do the double rinsing like that in the USA.
I wash them in the soapy water, drain the sink, then rinse them under running water to get the soap off. I think restaurants are supposed to use a 160 degree clean rinse.

It may be a good idea, I don't know. I have other ways to use my time I prefer than perfect dish hygiene. I never get sick, so as far as I know what I do is adequate.

Any further washing/rinsing for me would be for aesthetic reasons which I think are fine if you like that, but i don't think it's appropriate to judge others as hygienically inferior because they don't do it.

Functionally, what you do is similar to what I do. My way is actually a similar amount of effort because putting it in a basin is not really that much effort.

I dont know if its a big deal but I think leaving detergent on dishes just seems so wrong to me. Probably cause Im so used to having it rinsed off.
I dont even mind if dishes are dirty, only when there is detergent on it. To me detergent is "dirtier" than dirty dishes themselves, so it seems pointless to not rinse it off if you already spend time washing. I wouldnt even care too much if you gave me a dish that was already used, because after all its probably only old food. (As long as I dont dislike or am grossed out by the food itself)

Maybe my fear of detergent is irrational, but still.

Quote: (06-03-2014 10:13 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

I'm throwing this out to the board. Problems or not problems? Is it me?

#1: I go to dinner with a woman and pick up the tab. It's a very casual local place, so no big deal. We then go a convenience store to get some stuff for later. She finds a dollar. She doesn't offer it to me, but keeps it. This is minutes after I paid the dinner bill. This really sticks in my craw because I feel it's indicative of character. It's not the money, but the principle.

#2: A woman stays at my place. The next morning I offer her something to eat. She declines. A half hour later, she decides she wants some cereal. She fixes herself a bowl...and doesn't ask if I want anything. Again, I'm annoyed.

#3: Same woman as #2. Finishes the cereal. Instead of putting the spoon in the nice dishwasher I have, I see her out of the corner of my eye run it under water, dry it off, and put it back in the drawer. Ew! Gross! Or is it? Do people do this? I never have, but maybe this is normal...for other people.

She Finds a Dollar - yeah, you're feeling a bit entitled.

Fixes food a) after you offer it, b) doesn't offer you any - Typical selfish female behavior. Perfect training opportunity.

Rinse no Soap? - You're right to be upset by this one, more so than the other two, and it's the only one you could shame her with

Question for the Vets
- Do you micromanage your broads?

WIA

The only one that bothers me here is number 3.

And YES, stop dating american women and this problem goes away.

I would only ever wash a dish with just a brief rinse of water if it was:

A) a knife used to cut a lemon or a similar fruit whose juice is disinfectant in itself
B) a small pot used to boil water for eggs or tea

That said, none of this stuff would grate on me that much as long as the woman was fine in other regards. But she probably isn't.

Quote: (06-03-2014 10:13 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

I'm throwing this out to the board. Problems or not problems? Is it me?

#1: I go to dinner with a woman and pick up the tab. It's a very casual local place, so no big deal. We then go a convenience store to get some stuff for later. She finds a dollar. She doesn't offer it to me, but keeps it. This is minutes after I paid the dinner bill. This really sticks in my craw because I feel it's indicative of character. It's not the money, but the principle.

#2: A woman stays at my place. The next morning I offer her something to eat. She declines. A half hour later, she decides she wants some cereal. She fixes herself a bowl...and doesn't ask if I want anything. Again, I'm annoyed.

#3: Same woman as #2. Finishes the cereal. Instead of putting the spoon in the nice dishwasher I have, I see her out of the corner of my eye run it under water, dry it off, and put it back in the drawer. Ew! Gross! Or is it? Do people do this? I never have, but maybe this is normal...for other people.

Thanks in advance for any input. I need to know if I'm going to be returning the messages that are piling up. Both women are nice-looking, but people become ugly and annoying to me when I feel they breach social etiquette. Or, am I just really uptight, and get wound up over things other guys wouldn't notice?

I wouldn't have got wound up over any of those situations if I wasn't wound up already.

The only one of those particular scenarios I find even vaguely rude in principle is #2, but if you're in a bad mood or just don't like the person, anything and everything can seem like a grave insult.

I don't think any of those things would make me angry. More amused than anything.

If this happened to me and I had any desire at all to keep the chick around I'd have just told her how to behave.

Some people have just never been taught stuff and are eager to learn; any opportunity to train a chick is worth it for compliance conditioning.

#3 would annoy me. I want my dishes clean, dammit. Unless I, or my father, washed the dishes, I look at utensils and plates and stuff before I use them. I realize that if a bit of food didn't come off in the dishwasher it's probably still fine, but I just find it gross to have old food in fork tines or stuck on plates.

She's rude and selfish. Handle accordingly.

The dish move is gross. It isn't just rudeness, she isn't even house broken.

Recently, I've had a lot of women jump the check and pay for stuff before I can even reach for my wallet. I'll offer cash for my half but they look at me like I'm crazy, then smile and say "I got this."

So call her out on it for sure.

What McQueen said - girl #3 may not even know HOW to wash dishes, which is a huge strike.

By contrast, I told the girl I'm seeing to bring something to eat last night and she got fresh ingredients and cooked a whole meal - in only Victoria's Secret. I was expecting her to grab a bag of almonds or something, but she went the extra mile without me asking. That's a keeper.

If you have to explain basic house braking stuff like washing dishes, you're either looking at a lot of training, or a lame prospect, probably the latter.

Quote: (06-03-2014 10:13 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

I'm throwing this out to the board. Problems or not problems? Is it me?

#1: I go to dinner with a woman and pick up the tab. It's a very casual local place, so no big deal. We then go a convenience store to get some stuff for later. She finds a dollar. She doesn't offer it to me, but keeps it. This is minutes after I paid the dinner bill. This really sticks in my craw because I feel it's indicative of character. It's not the money, but the principle.

#2: A woman stays at my place. The next morning I offer her something to eat. She declines. A half hour later, she decides she wants some cereal. She fixes herself a bowl...and doesn't ask if I want anything. Again, I'm annoyed.

#3: Same woman as #2. Finishes the cereal. Instead of putting the spoon in the nice dishwasher I have, I see her out of the corner of my eye run it under water, dry it off, and put it back in the drawer. Ew! Gross! Or is it? Do people do this? I never have, but maybe this is normal...for other people.

Thanks in advance for any input. I need to know if I'm going to be returning the messages that are piling up. Both women are nice-looking, but people become ugly and annoying to me when I feel they breach social etiquette. Or, am I just really uptight, and get wound up over things other guys wouldn't notice?

I really wouldn't think too much about #1. Girls are just used to getting their tab picked up. It probably took less than five minutes after the bill was paid for her to forget that you paid for dinner. However, we are used to paying so when someone picks up the tab we feel in debt to them. I think most girls would keep the dollar just for that reason alone. Nothing to get mad about... it's just simple psychology.

#2 is a red flag. It tells you that she acts to the spur of her feelings. She probably skips meals because "she isn't hungry" and then ends up snacking on a few hundred calories shortly after. She is also prone to an emotional breakdown at the drop of the time. If you had already eaten, then it is fine for her not to offer. However, if you had not then she was being quite rude to eat your cereal without offering.

#3 is just flat out disgusting. Girl's pad probably looks like a hand grenade went off in it. I'd much rather someone leave the utensil dirty in the sink than rinse and dry. I bet she only brushes her teeth once a day.


I cut ties with a girl with a rockin' body solely because she was wiping tissue on my bath towel. I don't know what in the fuck she was doing, but there was always rolled up, white tissue residue on my red bath towel after every night she stayed over. To this day I can't think of one reason why you would rub a bath towel with tissue or toilet paper...