I've been talking to this one girl I met on Tinder, with plans to meet up in a couple days. I spend much of my conversation time cracking jokes in an attempt to make the girl feel comfortable enough to meet up somewhere private our first encounter. Thus far, it's worked with a couple girls.

I said I can come to where this girl lives. She suggested that we instead meet up at a bar because she's never done a Tinder date before. I like bars; I had no problem with that. But I said, "Just letting you know, I don't let girls feel me up in public."

That set her off, ranting about how she doesn't want to just hook up. I asked: "Do you even want to go out for a drink? Because it seems like you're already drinking the haterade."

I know it's a lame line, but I wanted to stand my own. She replied with a "Haha, just wanted to make sure we're on the same page."

Now, I am not sure how to respond to that. This girl is attractive but I want to maintain my frame and I'd rather eject than come out of this conversation looking like a pussy. Did I let it slide when I agreed to going to a bar instead of meeting in private?

Thanks,
R

I would assume that its probably better to agree and amplify than to try to argue your position. Just do what she says but wait for a while until shes likely to change her mind, or just lead through actions.

Quote: (06-01-2014 08:11 PM)Renberg Wrote:  

I've been talking to this one girl I met on Tinder, with plans to meet up in a couple days. I spend much of my conversation time cracking jokes in an attempt to make the girl feel comfortable enough to meet up somewhere private our first encounter. Thus far, it's worked with a couple girls.

I said I can come to where this girl lives. She suggested that we instead meet up at a bar because she's never done a Tinder date before. I like bars; I had no problem with that. But I said, "Just letting you know, I don't let girls feel me up in public."

That set her off, ranting about how she doesn't want to just hook up. I asked: "Do you even want to go out for a drink? Because it seems like you're already drinking the haterade."

I know it's a lame line, but I wanted to stand my own. She replied with a "Haha, just wanted to make sure we're on the same page."

Now, I am not sure how to respond to that. This girl is attractive but I want to maintain my frame and I'd rather eject than come out of this conversation looking like a pussy. Did I let it slide when I agreed to going to a bar instead of meeting in private?

Thanks,
R

Made me laugh out loud so fucking hard! Honestly, most people will probably think that's a lame line but I am proud to say I use it! It hasn't failed me..YET

Edit: I went radio silence on her to think about what to say back...she wrote me another message that whether or not I choose to see her is all good, but she needs to know.

Interesting.

Tell her to meet at a bar close to your place so you can bounce her back there. Remember to listen to her actions not her words. Of course she's going to say she's not looking to just hook up so she won't feel like a slut. Talk about something cool at your place or a cocktail you know how to make then suggest to bounce to your place- tuthmosis first date recipe it's gold man. If you don't meet up you will never get the bang so don't over analyze if you're in her frame- just meet up and bang her out.

Your response was ok (and hilarious), but there's no need to fight her over it. Just get her our and then escalate. It doesn't matter what you've talked about earlier.

Thanks guys. Since I'm dieting and don't want to spend my drink/cheat day on a Monday (not what I said to her), we are going to go to a park. I'm 40 minutes away by train so pulling back to my place is damn-near impossible. Please add your thoughts, but in my mind, these are my options:

Hook up at the park and say, "Let's go to your place" OR

Find some other reason, whatever that is, to go to her place...The only one I can think of is, "I have to pee" haha

Creepy Eel's response is correct.

Ignore what she says. They're always going to say shit like that to throw you off your game. Stuff like, "what are you looking for on this site?" and "don't expect anything", and that sort of brush-back bullshit.

Keep a tone of breezy confidence, and move on with the seduction. She's either down or not. You'll know soon enough.

One bit of advice. My standard rule for the first-time OK Cupid or Tinder "date" is to meet at a coffee shop. They feel comfortable with it, and I like the idea that I'm not spending more than a few bucks until I know if the chick is down with the program.

Don't get me wrong, drinks are fine, but with the volume of dates out there, it makes more economic sense.

I hung out in public with the girl. She's very shy; the type of girl who seldom swears. She would barely let me rest my arm around her. She's cute, so I might give it another go. It just seems damn hard to get this girl back to her place where she lives with her other goody-two-shoes roommates. Challenge accepted, but advice is appreciated

Quote: (06-02-2014 08:58 PM)Renberg Wrote:  

I hung out in public with the girl. She's very shy; the type of girl who seldom swears. She would barely let me rest my arm around her. She's cute, so I might give it another go. It just seems damn hard to get this girl back to her place where she lives with her other goody-two-shoes roommates. Challenge accepted, but advice is appreciated

Did you go to a bar or not? Sounds like having a drink or two you might both loosen up. I'd definitely recommend trying to get her to a bar or fun activity near your area so you can segue to your place. Goody-two-shoes roommates would be a total cockblock.

Frame with shy chicks is that you should act as if they're the ones pushing for sex while you are escalating (misinterpreting what she says, teasing, being non-judgmental and fun).

Basically make her come out of her shell by showing her that being open and sexual with you is fine, and private (shy people are extremely prudent about privacy) if you let her know that you're someone who can keep a secret, discreet, they'll fuck you and nobody is the wiser.
Once they decide that you are the guy, don't be surprised if they are the ones inviting you home, although you should be leading (always).

Also, less is more especially with shy girls, shy girls can be overwhelmed by too much stimulation, that's why they don't usually like clubs and are uncomfortable in a place where there are too much people. One move that is normal for you, might be bold in their minds, so find a happy balance for being aggressive, but at the right moments, like a sniper.

Let them chase you a bit. They are so used to being put in a pedestal for being shy and cute, people forget that they want to be fucked hard by an alpha male. These are the girls who will stay at home reading fifty shades of grey. Let them chase you, let them work for it a little too. This is money because they get to show you their cool side and you'll see game from their perspective.

Be masculine and dominant, they're so used to being treated with too much respect and delicacy for being shy (I can't stress this enough) that most guys will act like pussies around her. I once used to date this shy girl who looked like she would never hurt a fly, always a wallflower (at first), but to this day she's the most ferocious girl in bed I've ever dated. She told me she loved how I manhandled her, that other guys would treat her like she was going to break and she hated it! with a passion.

Hope this helps

Simon

Quote: (06-03-2014 06:17 PM)simondice Wrote:  

Frame with shy chicks is that you should act as if they're the ones pushing for sex (misinterpreting what she says, non-judgemental vibe, fun) while you are escalating. Basically make her come out of her shell by knowing that being open and sexual with you is fine, and private (shy people are extremely prudent about privacy) if you let her know that you're someone who can keep a secret, are discreet, they'll fuck you and nobody is the wiser.

Thanks for the advice, guys. ^That's what I've been trying to do, cracking jokes and turning her awkwardness into conversation. By the end of the date, she was much more loosened up, but the middle-school arm-around-the-back move is usually when I can tell if a girl is DTF, or at least kiss. She pulled forward into a very awkward position when I tried haha.

I am staying away from alcohol as part of a diet grind, though she did say alcohol loosens her up...so I might have to take one for the team. And by "the team," I mean my dick.

AO, that would have been my plan if I lived within relative distance. I live in a suburb to her city, a train-ride away. That's why we have to go back to her place.

Quote: (06-03-2014 06:29 PM)Renberg Wrote:  

Thanks for the advice, guys. ^That's what I've been trying to do, cracking jokes and turning her awkwardness into conversation. By the end of the date, she was much more loosened up, but the middle-school arm-around-the-back move is usually when I can tell if a girl is DTF, or at least kiss. She pulled forward into a very awkward position when I tried haha.

I am staying away from alcohol as part of a diet grind, though she did say alcohol loosens her up...so I might have to take one for the team. And by "the team," I mean my dick.

AO, that would have been my plan if I lived within relative distance. I live in a suburb to her city, a train-ride away. That's why we have to go back to her place.

Awesome, read it now though, I was editing so I added a lot more details.

Quote: (06-03-2014 06:44 PM)simondice Wrote:  

Awesome, read it now though, I was editing so I added a lot more details.

Haha thank you, man. You're right. She always talks about how she's bad with people, doesn't like interacting with people, would rather confront the pet than its human owner...

I have to be the one she can trust, and furthermore, WANT.