This is something i'm struggling with. I feel like I've met the right girl. But I wonder if I'm with her will I get bored? Guys who have been or are in a serious long term relationship please chime in.

Are there alternates to this that are sustainable?

The French model, people get and stay married, and discreetly fuck around if they need to.

Realistic disciplined and orderly without being puritanical. Also, the French birt rate is not in the toilet like white America as far as I know.
Capitalist economies are designed to keep men AND women working unless you are a 1%-er, and having kids with one parent has proven bad outcomes except maybe
in Scandinavia where they really have their socialist shit together.

The problem in America is the worship of total honesty. If a 50 YO guy who still loves the 40 YO wife who gave him three kids wants to fuck an 18 year old, maybe for money,
evey couple weeks, why shouldn't he? It's just unrealistic to expect him to be perfect after going to some stifling office paying for all that for 35 years straight with 2 weeks a year off.

However, it's also unrealistic to expect the 40 year old wife to accept him coming home and telling her how hot the 18 year old was.


===

As for the question of whether you'd be satisfied with one-- sometimes it's not "What do you WANT?" but what can you GET. Postive thinking is great but I'll bet you you won't be banging blond teen American cheerleaders at 75. And please don't reason from the exception like women do!! ( Jack Nicholson for instance)

I'm realizing the guys reading this forum who are hopping from one hot chick to the next are pretty extreme outliers, maybe the top fraction of 1% of young men, and even they have to learn special social skills such as are discussed here. It's only attainable for most men if they're under 25 and start right away with weightlifting and a money-or-status focused lifestyle, otherwise it's like recommending investing in apartment buildings to someone who can't even pay his rent.

Roosh had to do thousands of approaches, create an entrepreneurial location-independent lifestyle, and live in sub-par countries sometimes industrial shitholes, to get the 9s-- and he's relatively young and 6'3"-- things you can't develop--aging is inexorable and largely irreversible.

If you can't put all that together-- I haven't been able to- I'm 5'9" and much older- women are going to want more dedication. I STILL have to leave the country to get married to a really cute young chick as far as I can tell. And if she's down for all sorts of perversion--ideally other girls-- she might wear me out and want more sex than I do.

Anything is possible theoretically.

What happens to most players, imo, is they get lazy. Pretty face, good body, pleasant mostly, her bad side is tolerated, you like her friends and family, she smoothes out parts of your life

Why would you get back out there? Especially if you had.a good run, and did your numbers.

Catching some strange might even fuck up your situation cause your life has intertwined with hers.

Little by little, before you realize it, you're in a relationship. Her game to ensnare you started early on. Undoubtedly unconscious on her part, because it's just natural to settle down. Or so they would have you believe. Like a salesman shifting your attention away from the sticker price towards convenience, she's sliding you into it. They call it domestic bliss.

Meanwhile as she leads you down the path, at some point she's realizing that she wants more. The thing is, even when she gets this thing her logical and emotional brain wants, she's losing her carnal interest in you.

You are oblivious, not because you don't constantly check the pulse of your relationship, but your own carnal interest is waning. That fire you felt before you used to fuck her is gone. You remember it balls deep, but you don't want her nearly as badly.

When married people say that it's not just about sex, they're right. But they're wrong.

Vet players know how good the first quarter is, but they know how the game plays out.

WIA

Whats your solution then? Great post.

Quote: (12-07-2013 11:48 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Anything is possible theoretically.

What happens to most players, imo, is they get lazy. Pretty face, good body, pleasant mostly, her bad side is tolerated, you like her friends and family, she smoothes out parts of your life

Why would you get back out there? Especially if you had.a good run, and did your numbers.

Catching some strange might even fuck up your situation cause your life has intertwined with hers.

Little by little, before you realize it, you're in a relationship. Her game to ensnare you started early on. Undoubtedly unconscious on her part, because it's just natural to settle down. Or so they would have you believe. Like a salesman shifting your attention away from the sticker price towards convenience, she's sliding you into it. They call it domestic bliss.

Meanwhile as she leads you down the path, at some point she's realizing that she wants more. The thing is, even when she gets this thing her logical and emotional brain wants, she's losing her carnal interest in you.

You are oblivious, not because you don't constantly check the pulse of your relationship, but your own carnal interest is waning. That fire you felt before you used to fuck her is gone. You remember it balls deep, but you don't want her nearly as badly.

When married people say that it's not just about sex, they're right. But they're wrong.

Vet players know how good the first quarter is, but they know how the game plays out.

WIA

Quote: (12-07-2013 01:52 PM)JuanCantina Wrote:  

Whats your solution then? Great post.

Quote: (12-07-2013 11:48 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Anything is possible theoretically.

What happens to most players, imo, is they get lazy. Pretty face, good body, pleasant mostly, her bad side is tolerated, you like her friends and family, she smoothes out parts of your life

Why would you get back out there? Especially if you had.a good run, and did your numbers.

Catching some strange might even fuck up your situation cause your life has intertwined with hers.

Little by little, before you realize it, you're in a relationship. Her game to ensnare you started early on. Undoubtedly unconscious on her part, because it's just natural to settle down. Or so they would have you believe. Like a salesman shifting your attention away from the sticker price towards convenience, she's sliding you into it. They call it domestic bliss.

Meanwhile as she leads you down the path, at some point she's realizing that she wants more. The thing is, even when she gets this thing her logical and emotional brain wants, she's losing her carnal interest in you.

You are oblivious, not because you don't constantly check the pulse of your relationship, but your own carnal interest is waning. That fire you felt before you used to fuck her is gone. You remember it balls deep, but you don't want her nearly as badly.

When married people say that it's not just about sex, they're right. But they're wrong.

Vet players know how good the first quarter is, but they know how the game plays out.

WIA

The solution is to stay present to how you feel, recognize patterns for what they are, and no matter what happens, always make having hand in the relationship your priority before everything else.

@OP...if you're looking for a yes answer, you're probably on the wrong forum. That said, the answer for me could be yes, but I'm also in my mid-40s, and one of the reasons I like this forum is that these guys don't buy the lies that society tells us about men, women, and relationships. If you're going to do it, you have to do it with your eyes wide open, and with a pragmatism American society surely discourages in men.

@OP: Ultimately it depends on if you and your girlfriend can keep your relationship fresh, interesting and entertaining for the rest of your life. Not many people can, especially in this day and age. That (among other reasons) is the reason why the divorce rates are so high in today's western-societies and game becomes more and more popular.

Edit: But what do I know? The longest relationship I've ever been in only lasted little more than 1 year.

I've never been in a "true" relationship. I'm far from a newbie, the last 3 years I've slept with a lot of girls but this one "feels different". And believe me I'm picky. She's not the best looking girl i've ever been with, but we click. Do any of you guys who've been with a lot of girls feel the same way, that sometimes you and a girl just connect on another level?

Quote: (12-07-2013 03:27 PM)Mr. Calicoat Wrote:  

@OP: Ultimately it depends on if you and your girlfriend can keep your relationship fresh, interesting and entertaining for the rest of your life. Not many people can, especially in this day and age. That (among other reasons) is the reason why the divorce rates are so high in today's western-societies and game becomes more and more popular.

Edit: But what do I know? The longest relationship I've ever been in only lasted little more than 1 year.

How do you keep a long term relationship fresh and interesting over time?

I usually just try to keep doing all of the things that initially attracted her in the first place. The relationships seem to burn out after about 6 to 8 months and just aren't as much fun anymore.

Be an interesting person, and date interesting girls? Needless to say not every relationship is meant to last forever.

Maybe.

The drive for new sexual partners is a drive for new experiences.

I could be satisfied with one partner is she was capable of continually exploring new experiences, and was so constantly evolving as a person, and as a sexual partner.

That's a rare person. She'd have be hot + committed to self development + sexually explorative + monogamous. More than likely I'd have an open relationship, with someone with just the first three.

Understand that all women are essentially the same girl. They all think the same, kind of like different branches of the same tree, or a collective consciousness. So, in a way, by hanging out with a lot of girls you are hanging out with one.

Or at least it can feel that way when you are having the same text conversation with several different prospects at the same time.

Quote: (12-07-2013 01:52 PM)JuanCantina Wrote:  

Whats your solution then?

You have a of obvious options
- subsist of of one night stands and torrid weekends
- serial monogamy for small periods of time
- keep a harem
- soft polgyny/polyamory
- recognize that you'll never be satisfied, or you'll never be totally secure that your woman is *locked down*

Those are the easy ones. I probably lean on small bouts of serial monogamy too much. Most fun and most tired i'd ever been in my life was the juggling situation.

The harder ones...

This strays a little into "woo woo" game, but in a very real and practical sense we create our own reality. The choices you make right now affect what happens tomorrow.

Me staying up, having the blue LED light mess with my circadian rhythm, makes me not wake up to my alarm,
so I don't make breakfast,
might sneak in a protein shake,
which sends me to work somewhat satiated but not really.
Lemme grab a snack...damn, there's nothing here vaguely healthy
oh no, I forgot my keto-lunch in the fridge,
now i've got to figure something out fast food wise,
pushing me into a not so nice mood, ....
work out later that day isn't where I want it to be,
physically tired..mind still awake
maybe i'll read RVF before I head to bed

- the cycle never breaks. Conscious the whole time, making rational decisions with limited information, not relying on will power, relying on the environment....

If you hate your job, hate your girl, hate your life - most of the time barring medical issues, these things that you hate are of your creation.

You can of course go the zen route and deny want, deny desire, and just live a Monk's life in a modern world, pretending that you don't want something else.

You can self medicate with liquor, drugs, new pussy...

You can change the way you feel about something, another "trick" that we humans use to survive. Suddenly your dead end job is about how to do the work the fastest, or the best, or with style, or with the least effort, or to beat the other person in the cubicle next to yours.

You see where this goes. You can choose how you feel about things.

But coming back to being with one woman and keeping her in check, keeping her fire going for you, keeping your fire going for her...

You can choose the delusional reality where she always wants to jump your bones as soon as she sees you.

Your logical mind is gonna say, that's not possible. How I think about the situation doesn't control her mind, much less all the factors outside of me that are trying to get at her.

It's not logical to engage in some sort me-centered mind control of a woman.

Yet when you look at the sum total of your life, the things you do, the places you go, the people you meet, how you spend your day - at some level, many of those things that you spend your time, effort, and energy on - aren't really things you want to do. Yet you do them anyway.

Someone else is taking advantage of your environment, giving you carrots and sticks, stimuli, et cetera to get you to do what they want you to do.

One day you're going to sit up in class, or stand up from your desk at work, or come to your senses in the middle of a bar/club that you're holding court at and realize - that most of your actions are at the behest of someone else. A lot of your day to day decisions aren't really your choice. Sure you can drive a different way to work, but you're driving to work.

So to bring this out of "woo woo" world and fake Matrix/Red Pill allusions - how do you get your girl to buy into your relationship, your sex, everything about you on a deeper level, on a subconscious, automatic level, like everything else that surrounds you.

How do you get her and everyone else to accept your reality?

You can't just mumble some NLP/hypnosis at her, you've got to reform her entire world.

Now i'm not saying you need to go full on David Koresh on a chick, hell not even Iceberg Slim...

...

One of the wisest tips I ever got from a natural, probably not even a player now that I think about it...

The topic we were discussing was, "When you're mad/sad/emo, and you know you need to be alone and take some time to get back to regular mode, what do you about your girl?

Cause if you've got a halfway decent broad, she's checking your emotional temperature all the time. There are some things a chick can't fix, but she wants to, it's in her nature to control your emotions and how you feel.

(it's in our nature too, it's why we're always trying to tell jokes and stores to provoke reactions - I am the master of how you feel right in this moment.)

His answer was simple. "I tell her to get me this particular brand of chocolate, that's on the other side of town. She's a girl and chocolate makes her feel better, it makes her feel like she's doing something - that she's in service to me - and I get her out of my space for a bit so I can cool off.

So that's the 1/2 of the equation.

And you understand this idea of giving her tasks to do because you know those "loser" boyfriends have a hold on their hot chicks, because they're always getting them to do something, to invest. And the chick feels fulfilled. We already know they like to stay busy, and if it's busy for their man, that they still want to fuck, might want to build something with, all the better.

The other half of the equation, how do you keep yourself into the relationship, but also conscious of what's happening on the meta-level?

That my friend, I don't know.

Believe me, i've tried to stay on my game, but so often a chick just straight disappoints me, and I just don't care anymore if she's there. I only start to care when she's crying and leaving, or fucking the next dude cause I neglected her. It is what it is. Older cats might have more insight.

WIA

Quote: (12-08-2013 11:30 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Quote: (12-07-2013 01:52 PM)JuanCantina Wrote:  

Whats your solution then?

You have a of obvious options
- subsist of of one night stands and torrid weekends
- serial monogamy for small periods of time
- keep a harem
- soft polgyny/polyamory
- recognize that you'll never be satisfied, or you'll never be totally secure that your woman is *locked down*

Those are the easy ones. I probably lean on small bouts of serial monogamy too much. Most fun and most tired i'd ever been in my life was the juggling situation.

The harder ones...

This strays a little into "woo woo" game, but in a very real and practical sense we create our own reality. The choices you make right now affect what happens tomorrow.

Me staying up, having the blue LED light mess with my circadian rhythm, makes me not wake up to my alarm,
so I don't make breakfast,
might sneak in a protein shake,
which sends me to work somewhat satiated but not really.
Lemme grab a snack...damn, there's nothing here vaguely healthy
oh no, I forgot my keto-lunch in the fridge,
now i've got to figure something out fast food wise,
pushing me into a not so nice mood, ....
work out later that day isn't where I want it to be,
physically tired..mind still awake
maybe i'll read RVF before I head to bed

- the cycle never breaks. Conscious the whole time, making rational decisions with limited information, not relying on will power, relying on the environment....

If you hate your job, hate your girl, hate your life - most of the time barring medical issues, these things that you hate are of your creation.

You can of course go the zen route and deny want, deny desire, and just live a Monk's life in a modern world, pretending that you don't want something else.

You can self medicate with liquor, drugs, new pussy...

You can change the way you feel about something, another "trick" that we humans use to survive. Suddenly your dead end job is about how to do the work the fastest, or the best, or with style, or with the least effort, or to beat the other person in the cubicle next to yours.

You see where this goes. You can choose how you feel about things.

But coming back to being with one woman and keeping her in check, keeping her fire going for you, keeping your fire going for her...

You can choose the delusional reality where she always wants to jump your bones as soon as she sees you.

Your logical mind is gonna say, that's not possible. How I think about the situation doesn't control her mind, much less all the factors outside of me that are trying to get at her.

It's not logical to engage in some sort me-centered mind control of a woman.

Yet when you look at the sum total of your life, the things you do, the places you go, the people you meet, how you spend your day - at some level, many of those things that you spend your time, effort, and energy on - aren't really things you want to do. Yet you do them anyway.

Someone else is taking advantage of your environment, giving you carrots and sticks, stimuli, et cetera to get you to do what they want you to do.

One day you're going to sit up in class, or stand up from your desk at work, or come to your senses in the middle of a bar/club that you're holding court at and realize - that most of your actions are at the behest of someone else. A lot of your day to day decisions aren't really your choice. Sure you can drive a different way to work, but you're driving to work.

So to bring this out of "woo woo" world and fake Matrix/Red Pill allusions - how do you get your girl to buy into your relationship, your sex, everything about you on a deeper level, on a subconscious, automatic level, like everything else that surrounds you.

How do you get her and everyone else to accept your reality?

You can't just mumble some NLP/hypnosis at her, you've got to reform her entire world.

Now i'm not saying you need to go full on David Koresh on a chick, hell not even Iceberg Slim...

...

One of the wisest tips I ever got from a natural, probably not even a player now that I think about it...

The topic we were discussing was, "When you're mad/sad/emo, and you know you need to be alone and take some time to get back to regular mode, what do you about your girl?

Cause if you've got a halfway decent broad, she's checking your emotional temperature all the time. There are some things a chick can't fix, but she wants to, it's in her nature to control your emotions and how you feel.

(it's in our nature too, it's why we're always trying to tell jokes and stores to provoke reactions - I am the master of how you feel right in this moment.)

His answer was simple. "I tell her to get me this particular brand of chocolate, that's on the other side of town. She's a girl and chocolate makes her feel better, it makes her feel like she's doing something - that she's in service to me - and I get her out of my space for a bit so I can cool off.

So that's the 1/2 of the equation.

And you understand this idea of giving her tasks to do because you know those "loser" boyfriends have a hold on their hot chicks, because they're always getting them to do something, to invest. And the chick feels fulfilled. We already know they like to stay busy, and if it's busy for their man, that they still want to fuck, might want to build something with, all the better.

The other half of the equation, how do you keep yourself into the relationship, but also conscious of what's happening on the meta-level?

That my friend, I don't know.

Believe me, i've tried to stay on my game, but so often a chick just straight disappoints me, and I just don't care anymore if she's there. I only start to care when she's crying and leaving, or fucking the next dude cause I neglected her. It is what it is. Older cats might have more insight.

WIA

Damn that was some deep shit

Quote: (12-07-2013 11:19 AM)JuanCantina Wrote:  

This is something i'm struggling with. I feel like I've met the right girl. But I wonder if I'm with her will I get bored? Guys who have been or are in a serious long term relationship please chime in.

Are there alternates to this that are sustainable?

I start to get bored having sexing sex with a girl after about 4 times.

If I really like her and she is attractive, I can stretch this out.

But I've never lasted more than a year in a relationship - just too boring.

Each to their own - but yes, it's a difficult one to reconcile.

Below 30 years old - Not a chance. My desire to fuck everything I see is to strong.

30 - 40 years old - Maybe. My focus has changed. Making money has taken top priority. Desire to fuck is still high but energy to do so is lower.

40+ Years old - Yes. Desire to have kids, companionship, and build a legacy is higher than my energy to always be on the hunt for new girls.

It's hard to talk to "regular joes" about this sort of thing because they haven't had the same success with women that many of us have. Once you find out you can get laid, does one vagina ever just suffice..

I'd love to survey guys who were real players back in the day who settled down with a chick and hear their opinions.

Quote: (12-07-2013 05:41 PM)JuanCantina Wrote:  

I've never been in a "true" relationship. I'm far from a newbie, the last 3 years I've slept with a lot of girls but this one "feels different". And believe me I'm picky. She's not the best looking girl i've ever been with, but we click. Do any of you guys who've been with a lot of girls feel the same way, that sometimes you and a girl just connect on another level?

The most dangerous statement in the English language is "THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT"---it never is. You are most likely being fooled by your biology--which is playing tricks on you right now. When people "fall in love" the brain produces special chemicals which produce extreme pleasure. This usually lasts 6 months to 2 years. From an evolutionary biology perspective this is to get the male and female to mate, produce offspring, and raise them together.


That is why people far hard in love--then as time passes and the brain gets bored it stops producing these love chemicals at the same high levels. It is natural. The brain needs stimulation (different women) to maintain peak arousal. Having sex with the same person day after day year after year gets old no matter how much you try to spice things up.

SOLUTION. Keep the girl you currently like/love whatever. Never marry her. Never move in with her. See her 1-2 times a week and see other women a few times a month. You will have the steady supply of sex with the girl you really like/love and the occasional fling with a new hamster which keeps your sex life exciting and game intact.

Eventually she will demand a formal relationship/marriage/engagement and want to move in and you will have to refuse. It will be hard, but then you move on to a new girl. There is all ways another one.

That seems to be my future. I have been in an 19 month relationship with an older woman. The first few months were truly amazing not just sex wise, but the chemistry, etc--I am glad it happened,but all moments are fleeting in the end. It fades. I doubt it will last any longer than another 6 months (she wants the move in). I currently see other women.

One other thing to think about when considering this "special woman." What is her utility value to you? Does she cook, clean, have a decent job to support herself, make you feel good about yourself, really care for you ,support your goals/dreams?

Would she still love/like you if you lost your job and were destitute, or terminally ill? It is great to like people when things are good (and you can take her places, buy her stuff, etc), but most people don't stay around during the bad times (except family). It is during the bad times that you really find out who your friends are.

Some very honest thoughts on this thread, so as a divorced guy that has had a few LTR's I would have to "Yes" it is sustainable (I've witnessed it) However, it usually takes something BIGGER than the both of you to sustain that type of relationship and interest (Religious beliefs, kids, hobbies). We have all seen that crazy ass couple who enjoy bungie jumping together and it's a life long passion of theirs. Conversely, as Chris Rock so succinctly joked "Two crackheads can stay together FORVER" HaHa

Realize and recognize from the jump that attraction and lust are like the Dow Jones, it will peak and valley and the shit is HARD WORK. There are no magic pills, buttons to push or How-To guides. Activities, surprises, creating larger social circles, this all can contribute to giving you a CHANCE. I know many times, I have run outta shit to say to the chick that's in my face when I lay down and when I get up, but that just meant that she wasn't the ONE. At any rate, may the force be with you but enter it with a pocket full of Game (Game doesn't stop when you settle down), and eyes WIDE OPEN.

If I could pick a dozen qualities about a girl, sure. I'd want a certain level of beauty, charm, feminine energy, wit, intelligence, morals, sex drive, and etc. She has to meet pretty particular standards, though.

If she's a FRIEND that enhances, simplifies and improves my life(style), why not? In my opinion it would be great a girl could motivate me to keep working when it gets hard, we could share doing activities we both like working out, surfing, etc. , live out the wildest sex fantasies, and is there for me when I'm sick and need it. I know it soulds blue pill as fuck, but that's my ideal.

I would like to settle down eventually.

Game is fun, it's interesting, and I meet a lot of unique girls.

I really would like to meet a girl that is my BFF. I've been lucky to call a lot of women close friends.... and lovers but just one who satisfies me on all counts would be the best.

A girl that gets my natural provider instinct fired up is the type of girl I want to stay with. I've meet a couple I dote over and they love it, but I dote on them because it makes me feel good. I like putting a girl on a pedestal and with the game I've learned, it's putting her on there while simultaneously gaming her. I like that feeling of knowing I have a special someone to take care of.

I hope I do meet that one. There is a small glimmer of hope i'll get that.

Until then, let the gaming continue. I'm getting my money's worth out of my youth.

No.

Goddamn some of you guys are wordy.

Did Roosh read this? Now we have an article on marriage, lol.

Quote: (12-09-2013 08:25 PM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

No.

Goddamn some of you guys are wordy.

Quote:Quote:

She's not the best looking girl i've ever been with, but we click. Do any of you guys who've been with a lot of girls feel the same way, that sometimes you and a girl just connect on another level?

Yeah, probably about 20 times, so far.