This is a complete shame post. I thought I was beyond this stage, humble pie is served.

I got a girl's number at a university campus (I work there doing a contract, there is no rules against dating a student because I am not faculty). She is my ideal girl type short blonde, sweet demeanor, yoga body.

First date I played it safe, this could have been my downfall. I got a coffee with her on campus and went for a walk which went well, walked to a pub after for one beer before she needs to go. Date ends with a hug only, escalation would have felt forced otherwise too sober of an environment or was I a pussy?

Cut to second date, I try to set up for Sunday she cancels due to getting back from out of town late, but asks if I am available the next night (Monday). I agree and she drives to my place (20 min drive) the next night. I give her a tour of my place. She agrees to a pre-game shot of Jager. We walk to a dark classy intimate bar that is usually catnip for girls (I am new to town but already took a date I banged after taking her to this same bar, so it has been vetted).

She agrees to drinks and shots we have good conversation. I go for the kiss at the bar she makes out with me for a bit. We leave to a second bar 100ft from my house. I make out with her again during the tour of the second bar. We get a quick drink and I say let's get a nightcap at my place.

We get to my place I pour myself a drink, she wants water... FUCK. I get her water (what's the move here?)... the music is queued up - I am drinking and I go for the make out on the couch. I get my hand down her shirt play with her tit. Pull the aggressive placing her hand to my hard-on through my jeans bit. I pick her up and carry her to the bedroom. I act dominant and pin her arms back and grind as we make out. I put my hand down the back of her jeans and squeeze her ass. She is kissing back, but it seems weak. I chalk it up to her sobering up and being decided on going home. She held her liquor from the shots and drinks well. Usually at 4 or 5 drinks a girl is tipsy enough, she was deadpan sober it seemed. I give in after a few futile extra pushes and did not want to see too try hard if it wasn't happening at all.

This was Monday night.

Wednesday our text conversation:

Trav 1pm: "hey XXXX"

Her 5pm: "hey Trav"

Trav 9:30pm: left voicemail "hey its Trav, catch ya later"


Thursday(today) text conversation:

Trav 5:30pm: "whats up gonna go out tonight causin trouble?"

Her 6:30pm: Generic Friendzone Text


My reaction after reading


This sucks because I have NEVER gotten a girl into my bed and groped her bare tit and ass then get Friend Zoned. It feels like a huge regression and I am livid about it right now.

This girl was very cool, mellow, and genuine. I did not see this coming.

Please lay the truth on thick.

Cut her off and move on to next target

Next Girl. Don't have friendzones, either a girl is providing a service to your or she's nothing to you.

From what you wrote you did nothing wrong, don't over think it and find a girl that wants to bang you

id try again...if i had the patience. Mine is very very short. And I miss bangs because of it. I'd try to get her more booze and hang out again. She may just need a third date
... after that fuggit

One more date and then tell her you have plenty of female friends, you don't need anymore

I wouldnt complain about getting to make out with a hot blonde coed. imo she probably thought you were trying to take advantage of her. every girl is different. some are ok with first date bangs, some take 3 dates, you have to read a girl before you escalate to make sure shes into it. cavemanning it is not appropriate in all situations. not escalating enough can also make a girl not like you. you have to develop the intuition to read what the girl wants because she might be pushing you away and saying no but she really wants the cock in her. isnt it great girls are so straightforward? lol

Did you try to rape her? I hear that's the popular thing to do these days.

For the future, if she says she wants water, tell her "No way, we're not drinkin water!" then slam a drink in front of her and make her match you the drink.

Quote: (10-24-2013 09:18 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

This is a complete shame post. I thought I was beyond this stage, humble pie is served.

I got a girl's number at a university campus (I work there doing a contract, there is no rules against dating a student because I am not faculty). She is my ideal girl type short blonde, sweet demeanor, yoga body.

First date I played it safe, this could have been my downfall. I got a coffee with her on campus and went for a walk which went well, walked to a pub after for one beer before she needs to go. Date ends with a hug only, escalation would have felt forced otherwise too sober of an environment or was I a pussy?

Cut to second date, I try to set up for Sunday she cancels due to getting back from out of town late,

Cancelled second meeting. Never believe excuses.

There's maybe 1/10 times a chick cancels that it's for the reason they say.

Maybe.

Oh the three rules to avoid wasting time with ambivalent women:

1) Never believe excuses
2)Never believe Excuses
3) If you haven't listened by now, go ahead and keep believing excuses.

The one thing that can always be counted on to be the truth from a woman is her coming on your cock.
Her words are generally just whatever sounded good at the time.

Maybe you were too mechanical. Your description of being in bed with her kind of sounds like a car repair manual.

Did you say anything sweet to her?

"Remove the spark plug wires, making sure that they clear the carburetor, and that the carburetor is fully exposed."

I think IKE is ringing the truth, I think I may expect sex and go through the motions instead of paying closer attention now that I've had a personal bang recipe that had worked time and again before. I probably acted too dispassionate, I need to talk, flirt, and charm more even when things get physical. I am not putting enough effort into getting a girl to warm up, I am getting lazy and just going for it. I need to make the whole experience more fun and seem less like a job I am performing. Thanks everyone I am soaking up the advice.

I used to get butterflies before dates and get excited like right before an important sports match starts that you are playing in.

Those butterflies are now gone. At first I thought it was great my nerves calmed down. Now I think it has to show in my demeanor. I may have become too entitled.

Funny thing is my approaches and ability to land dates has gotten much better. Now what was my strongest point in closing needs some work.

Sounds like there was a lack of chemistry.

I once met a hot Russian girl in a little beach town in Thailand. I brought her back to my room. She was reluctant to come in but I insisted, assuming shed warm up once we started getting hot and or heavy.

So I started making my moves. And she did the most interesting fucking thing Ive ever seen a girl do. She just lay there neither resisting nor reciprocating´as I kissed her and rubbed her. She was just totally indifferent. Dead. It was the craziest thing.

So I told her to leave. I was ready to fuck but she wasnt into it AT ALL. Sucks, but it takes two to tango. Now im better at recognizing when there is or isnt a mutual chemistry happening and give priority to those girls.

Like Vincent said, i think there was a lack of chemistry, or, (more than likely) you missed the opportunity.

I've done this a ton of times, she wanted the bang, trust me, but firstly, I wouldn't have worried about placing her hand on my cock and trying to get her drinks rather than arouse her first. When your in that position you need to get her aroused as quick as possible, this means SHE wants the bang more than you. You always need it to be this way round in these conditions, otherwise you risk her flaking at any moment.

The final straw tactic (when you know you've fucked up) is slow it down, act like your just chilling out, and (assuming your one on one with her in a room) "fall asleep" with her next to you. This works out well, it allows you to roam your hands around without the worry of her thinking its you with a full clear mind. It means if she isn't up for it she will flake again, but most of the time she will allow you to sleep fuck her until you can start smashing her normally.

It sounds crazy but it works everyyyy time.

Could have been just no chemistry

Could have been mediocre game on your part

The coffee/hug date probably doomed you, if nothing else

Now reflecting back I probably escalated too fast on the couch. I needed to push for one last drink while denying water and do more teasing and warming up escalation. I went caveman on a sober girl; for a first time bang that is a sour move.

Yes I will cut out coffee dates, that was a silly idea I tried to establish comfort, perhaps too much comfort. If a girl isn't down to meet and drink it really ends up being a waste. I am looking for sex, I need to screen harder.

Quote: (10-25-2013 05:06 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

Now reflecting back I probably escalated too fast on the couch. I needed to push for one last drink while denying water and do more teasing and warming up escalation. I went caveman on a sober girl; for a first time bang that is a sour move.

Yes I will cut out coffee dates, that was a silly idea I tried to establish comfort, perhaps too much comfort. If a girl isn't down to meet and drink it really ends up being a waste. I am looking for sex, I need to screen harder.

Coffee dates are money if the cafe is close to your place. It's stupidly easy to get a girl to come over in the daytime because people never have sex in the daytime, right...? I've bounced countless girls from the coffee shop a 10 minute walk to my apartment and banged them in sweet, broad daylight.

Radio silence. Try again in 2 months.

Quote: (10-26-2013 09:07 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Radio silence. Try again in 2 months.

A lot of times these kinds of girls will break the radio silence themselves. There's a decent chance if you stop contacting her that some weeks from now she texts you anyway.

Maybe when she stops dating a guy. When she's feeling vulnerable, horny, or bored. Maybe when she's just trashed after a night out and wants some dick.

Then again, maybe not. But that's your only play right now - move on and get other girls.

Quote: (10-26-2013 08:14 PM)Therapsid Wrote:  

Quote: (10-26-2013 09:07 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Radio silence. Try again in 2 months.

A lot of times these kinds of girls will break the radio silence themselves. There's a decent chance if you stop contacting her that some weeks from now she texts you anyway.

Maybe when she stops dating a guy. When she's feeling vulnerable, horny, or bored. Maybe when she's just trashed after a night out and wants some dick.

Then again, maybe not. But that's your only play right now - move on and get other girls.

Loud and clear will do and have been. Thanks for the advice. I asked my older brother what he thought his instinct was she may have a boyfriend and snuck this in, either way putting her on ice is my only move.

Sorry to raise this from the dead sort of, but did you stop escalating at some point, or what happened?

The next step was to start removing her shirt, unfasten her bra etc, did you do that? Or did you roll off her at some point? Just curious how it went from making out to her leaving.

She probably didnt like you much but went on a date to see how it goes

Once it get serious with the sex she backed off

Some girls go on dates or entertainment, it doesn't always assume she's a green light

Quote: (11-07-2013 12:56 PM)augen sehen Wrote:  

Sorry to raise this from the dead sort of, but did you stop escalating at some point, or what happened?

The next step was to start removing her shirt, unfasten her bra etc, did you do that? Or did you roll off her at some point? Just curious how it went from making out to her leaving.

Kept escalating on the bed, I had gotten her tits out on the couch in the living room, no shirt off though just pulled down. She pretty much just didn't give me access to her belt, button, zipper, and wouldn't roll up at all to get her shirt off. She was just plain resisting, and I could just tell as I kept trying to get her turned on by kissing and trying to rub her the right way, it just wasn't doing much, and she wasn't having it anymore.

Then she just spoke out in still happy as I held her wrists back "I have to drive home", it was something in her eyes and posture that just was not taking my sexual advances seriously, she seemed almost calmly amused? I have not experienced this reaction before.

As I said I have not gotten a girl this far and failed that's why I was bewildered.

I would say my main strength in game is pushing through LMR as I have gone through the 2,3 and 4 hour battles to go from make out and groping all the way to sex. I know it can be a trench war.

You tried to get her pants off too fast. Had you simply continued to play with (and suck on) her breasts and make out with her, and escalated a little more slowly, you might have gotten the bang that night. If not, probably on the next date. In a situation like this, just cuddling with her for a few hours while you hold her and play with her breasts is a nice way to let her adjust to the fact that she's going to let you stick your cock up her cunt and rationalize that she's not a slut for letting you. A nice way to get her completely topless is take off your shirt (she cannot stop you from doing that) and just tell her you want to cuddle and have skin-to-skin contact. Spoon with her if necessary.

But once you acknowledge that things have gone too far, it can be tough to erase that idea (that things went too far) from her mind. Not impossible, but not easy.

You should feel good about getting her tits out -- she sounds like a high quality piece off ass.

Quote: (11-09-2013 12:05 AM)hardman Wrote:  

You tried to get her pants off too fast. Had you simply continued to play with (and suck on) her breasts and make out with her, and escalated a little more slowly, you might have gotten the bang that night. If not, probably on the next date. In a situation like this, just cuddling with her for a few hours while you hold her and play with her breasts is a nice way to let her adjust to the fact that she's going to let you stick your cock up her cunt and rationalize that she's not a slut for letting you. A nice way to get her completely topless is take off your shirt (she cannot stop you from doing that) and just tell her you want to cuddle and have skin-to-skin contact. Spoon with her if necessary.

Yes as IKE wrote earlier I may have just been too mechanical and fast, feeling too entitled. I need to always be willing to adjust and put in the extra effort to get things going for the girl. Also looking back I gave up way too easily and she must have been disappointed that:

A) I just went too fast and was expecting everything to be so easy
B) I gave up easily
C) I did not get enough alcohol in her ( I tried hard on this one haha )

I am going with the advice of radio silence for 2 months and trying to reconnect with next. If I do I will be much more patient with getting her turned on.

I am hitting myself on the head right now, I was literally biting my fist when met on Date 1 and she turned around to order coffee with that tight bubbly little yoga ass! Fuck!

Quote: (11-09-2013 08:51 AM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

Quote: (11-09-2013 12:05 AM)hardman Wrote:  

You tried to get her pants off too fast. Had you simply continued to play with (and suck on) her breasts and make out with her, and escalated a little more slowly, you might have gotten the bang that night. If not, probably on the next date. In a situation like this, just cuddling with her for a few hours while you hold her and play with her breasts is a nice way to let her adjust to the fact that she's going to let you stick your cock up her cunt and rationalize that she's not a slut for letting you. A nice way to get her completely topless is take off your shirt (she cannot stop you from doing that) and just tell her you want to cuddle and have skin-to-skin contact. Spoon with her if necessary.

Yes as IKE wrote earlier I may have just been too mechanical and fast, feeling too entitled. I need to always be willing to adjust and put in the extra effort to get things going for the girl. Also looking back I gave up way too easily and she must have been disappointed that:

A) I just went too fast and was expecting everything to be so easy
B) I gave up easily
C) I did not get enough alcohol in her ( I tried hard on this one haha )

I am going with the advice of radio silence for 2 months and trying to reconnect with next. If I do I will be much more patient with getting her turned on.

I am hitting myself on the head right now, I was literally biting my fist when met on Date 1 and she turned around to order coffee with that tight bubbly little yoga ass! Fuck!

Yoga chick is important data point I missed... they are into subtle emotional stuff or they'd be in a spin class. I hate to use feminist jargon, but there is sometimes an "objectifying" thing happening. Do you even LIKE her? Do you know her well enough to like her?

I'm not asking rhetorically, when a girl is that hot that you just want to fuck her just because her body is unreal, your emotions might in a way shut off... overload. Plus, really hot chicks have to work less on their personality so they often aren't as likable.
It's not too hard to find something to like in someone, even hot spoiled chicks have some good side.