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Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs
#1

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

It's one of those things that marks a change in season in America. The leaves start to fall. The weather gets colder. Pumpkin-flavored bullshit appears everywhere.

It goes beyond just the traditional pumpkin bread or pumpkin pie. Nowadays, the pumpkin fares have expanded, and they're just about always it's fodder for fat chicks- giant pumpkin muffins, tubs of pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin candies, sugary pumpkin cocktails, creamy pumpkin soup, and of course the O.G. Starbucks milkshake, the pumpkin spice latte. But don't forget about the doughboy manginas too. For them they have pumpkin beer and pumpkin donuts.

I have two issues with this. First, nobody is eating actual pumpkin. At best, these products contains as much of their main ingredient as black tar heroin does its. More often, it's just a flavoring added. For all the hype about pumpkin, most of what gets ingested is sugar.

Second, pumpkin reveals the immaturity of the American public, especially American girls. Pumpkin is a flavor of nostalgia. The message being marketed here is have that pumpkin concoction and take yourself back to your childhood days. This is the same feeling that drives the phenomenon of "the Holidays." And you can see its power. All across American, girls from age 13 to 30+ are tweeting out # PSL and instagramming their pumpkin-flavored coffee/milkshake hybrids. It's a wonder that there are any skinny chicks left in the US since weight gain season now lasts from the arrival of the pumpkin spice latte to January 2nd.
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#2

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

it seems like you just hate pumpkin?
otherwise I see no reason to hate on the fact that fall opens up a market for pumpkin flavored foods.

sure..if you look it up..pumpKin pie is actually butter squash. so?

how does pumpkin represent immaturity..
that seems like a long shot idea.

I am the cock carousel
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#3

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

NSFW link:

http://cheezburger.com/3995550976


No pumpkin thread is complete without PUMPKINHEAD!



[attachment=14927]

Scariest monster. The Brits will pee the bed tonight cause of that image.


And for the record, here in the South we say "punkin", not "pumpkin".
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#4

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

What people really seem to mean when they say "pumpkin flavored" is using cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and allspice, and then adding a crap-ton of sugar. Pumpkin itself tastes like any other squash, kinda bland. But add all those spices and enough sugar, and you could probably serve boiled random road kill and people would gobble it up.

October in the USA has so many processed foods being released with pumpkin (ie a shit-ton of sugar) in them, the October Trader Joes Fearless Flyer on page 9 made fun of actually having "two whole pages with NO pumpkin". As I read through it I thought, "Pumpkin Ravioli. Maybe that's something I could actually eat."

Fuck no. It's sweet pumpkin slathered with honey and a bit of brown sugar and molasses.

"Alpha children wear grey. They work much harder than we do, because they're so frightfully clever. I'm awfully glad I'm a Beta, because I don't work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don't want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse. They're too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides they wear black, which is such a beastly color. I'm so glad I'm a Beta."
--Aldous Huxley, Brave New World
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#5

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

When we were kids we took squirt guns full of rubbing alcohol and went around to burn jack o lanterns.

M-80 in a pumpkin.

Take a dump in a jack o lantern.

Piss the candle out.

Those were the days. The smell of pumpkin innards brings back lots of nostalgic good memories for me. Don't knock pumpkin memories.
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#6

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

Quote: (10-12-2013 03:36 PM)JimNortonFan Wrote:  

When we were kids we took squirt guns full of rubbing alcohol and went around to burn jack o lanterns.

M-80 in a pumpkin.

Take a dump in a jack o lantern.

Piss the candle out.

Those were the days. The smell of pumpkin innards brings back lots of nostalgic good memories for me. Don't knock pumpkin memories.

Alcohol in water guns.. never thought of that. I'd bet that could get really dangerous with modern day super soakers..
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#7

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

Are pumpkin pie/sweet potato pie that great as desserts? Every so often, I wonder what they taste like, and then forget until Halloween. I like carrot cake, but the idea of vegetables in a pudding is weird when you stop to think

"The woman most eager to jump out of her petticoat to assert her rights is the first to jump back into it when threatened with a switching for misusing them,"
-Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
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#8

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

We had the kind that wore your finger raw after a few squirts. We were real men who let our fingers do the walkin'. Super soakers are for generation y and younger wimps (and pyros).
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#9

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

I love pumpkin and sweet potatos. I genuinely dislike fall because i hate winter. Why do people love fall so much? It's like enjoying your last meal before you hit death row.
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#10

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

I like making a crustless pumpkin pie wirh just stevia for a sweetener or a crustless pumpkin cheesecake using russian crumbly farmers cheese. Pumpkin caramelizes without a need for sugar and I can't easily think of a lower calorie crowd pleaser and its about 5 min of actual work and 45 in the oven
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#11

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

I love the holidays. Who cares if it's nostalgic?

Pumpkin spice tastes good in coffee. I also like to put eggnog in my coffee.
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#12

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

Quote: (10-12-2013 04:37 PM)frenchie Wrote:  

I love pumpkin and sweet potatos. I genuinely dislike fall because i hate winter. Why do people love fall so much? It's like enjoying your last meal before you hit death row.

Sweet potatoes are a power food.



[attachment=14930]


I prefer sweet tater pie/casserole over punkin any day of the week. An amazing food that can be cooked 100 different ways. If you grill out, just throw the sweet taters uncovered directly in the charcoal. Turn frequently until soft in the middle. Add salt/pepper for the win. They are very filling too.
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#13

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

I don't get the hate for Fall. The months of January - April are definitely the shittiest of the year.

January: Gym is full of a bunch of New Year's Resolutions assholes.
February: Valentine's Day is gay as fuck. Last time I enjoyed it was in elementary school when we all brought in candy for each other and I could lay the mack down on girls by stealing their candy.
March: I can't remember a single day in March that has good weather. St. Patrick's Day is aight but a bunch of fake Irish fucks run around.
April: Rains all the time.
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#14

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

Fall/Winter are the best times for me to get laid. My winter wardrobe is always better than the summer one. I love those crisp bright fall mornings. When that cold air hits my lungs I feel alive, and motivates me. My energy levels are higher. Plus I get to run fake hand and chinchilla game for the win.
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#15

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

^Fake hand and chinchilla game?
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#16

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

Quote: (10-12-2013 05:30 PM)MHaes Wrote:  

I don't get the hate for Fall. The months of January - April are definitely the shittiest of the year.

January: Gym is full of a bunch of New Year's Resolutions assholes.
February: Valentine's Day is gay as fuck. Last time I enjoyed it was in elementary school when we all brought in candy for each other and I could lay the mack down on girls by stealing their candy.
March: I can't remember a single day in March that has good weather. St. Patrick's Day is aight but a bunch of fake Irish fucks run around.
April: Rains all the time.



The Day after Valentine's Day should be named Player's Day.

I say RVF has a competition to see who can pull that day and what they can pull and what the notches say about how disappointed they are in the haul of loot they got for V-Day. We could have categories, prizes and everything.
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#17

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

It's not that I don't like pumpkin pie or nostalgia. I just hate leveraging the feeling to stuff more sugar into already crowded maw of the American public.

A lot of people like fall because your ass doesn't get sweaty.
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#18

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

someone had a bad thanksgiVing experience

I am the cock carousel
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#19

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

Quote: (10-12-2013 05:13 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

Quote: (10-12-2013 04:37 PM)frenchie Wrote:  

I love pumpkin and sweet potatos. I genuinely dislike fall because i hate winter. Why do people love fall so much? It's like enjoying your last meal before you hit death row.

Sweet potatoes are a power food.

I prefer sweet tater pie/casserole over punkin any day of the week. An amazing food that can be cooked 100 different ways. If you grill out, just throw the sweet taters uncovered directly in the charcoal. Turn frequently until soft in the middle. Add salt/pepper for the win. They are very filling too.

I know what you mean. I swapped out potoatos for sweet potatos as well as white bread for wheat. It keeps me feeling fuller longer.
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#20

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

I've had several pumpkin beers put out by micro breweries this year-they're quite good

"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
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#21

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

Fall is my favorite season. Damn I miss the north east.
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#22

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

Sucks to be you guys bitching about the weather - it's just starting to warm up here.

OT: Anything orange around this time of year gets a pass. Actual pumpkin products like pumpkin juice etc, ridiculous orange clothing, carrots in your butt, cupcakes with orange icing for the fatties, and probably a few other things you can think of
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#23

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

Yeah I've been thinking this pumpkin shit is a bit much. The homemade stuff is good because usually its not to sweet. I prefer sweet potato/pumpkin baked stuff since it isn't tooth destroying sweet.

It's all just hype and festive to make people feel less guilt about stuffing their faces - "it's only a limited seasonal time, there is no damage done if i indulge for this short period". Meanwhile you get a triple whammy of thanksgiving, and the ever extended holiday season which grows a week more each year as desperate retailers try and coax you to go buy crap you don't need. In this 3 month period most Americans probably consume a half years worth of their calories and food makers know this, so to do fitness centers whom get you into signing contracts to try and loose your holiday weight when you go hard for 2.5 weeks at the gym in January - "good job Ellie you lost your water weight!"

The pumpkin beer craze is stupid too. This craft beer movement is creating a lot of good stuff, but it's also opening the flood gates to shitty novelties that cater to females and queers. If you couldn't digest beer you drank whiskey, simple. Whom the fuck drinks gluten free beer?, the shit tastes like donkey pee. Give me a whiskey sour double instead of that shjt ten times out of ten.

Starbucks has created a cult worse than Red Lobster and the 'endless shrimp' promotions. Women froth at the mouth for these PSLs. I trolled a group of girls at school saying it tastes like shit and they all flipped out lol.

Starbucks is messed but even worse is David's Tea. I've never felt so uncomfy walking into a store, everything about their business model is meant for females. It gives me a instant headache and nothing about smelling tea that is spiked with sweet aromatics lets me know if it's a quality tea or not. Women would never drink a mate or oolong "black" it has to be spiked with weird shit like jelly beans for her to drink it. They then from at you like its a healthy choice the Starbucks desert drinks when it's nearly just as bad.

This has turned into a rant but you see now how women have been favored in the marketplace. Everything is geared towards them these days since they still have some cash jingling around post-recession. The only thing that has been kept safe is the barber shop, hell even strip clubs have been feminized with more girls I know going there at night then dudes - no space is safe.

Quote: (10-12-2013 04:37 PM)frenchie Wrote:  

I love pumpkin and sweet potatos. I genuinely dislike fall because i hate winter. Why do people love fall so much? It's like enjoying your last meal before you hit death row.

Women seem to love fall because they can "dress up" in boots and coats. I call bullshit, and it's mostly the fact they can cut down on their crash diets from trying to stay thin in the summer. They stay covered up in fall and can now pack on the pounds while sniffing for a BF to buy them shit for Xmas.

Ask women how much they love Spring... It's nearly the same season, and one I prefer. But to a female Spring means the light is shed on her weight gain and panic ensues with summer drawing ever more near.

Panjc... crash diets ... rinse and repeat...
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#24

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

Women are completely nuts when it comes to food. Even when they are fit they spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about it and talking about it.

Check out pinterest. It's ~90% female. I can't believe how many pics of food they post. Close up shots of mac&cheese, cookies, cupcakes (of course.) A lot of them are really into "cute" food, like cake pops. Thing is most of the younger ones can't even cook. There not looking at these things for recipes. In between all the shots of calorie laden crap, you'll often see a random pic of something like a kale smoothie. Like posting that makes them healthy!!!
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#25

Pumpkin Invades Your Foodstuffs

canned pumpkin in my smoothies and pumpkin seeds in my trail mix during all seasons!
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