One of my favourite topics to talk about on here is sex itself. Some view it as the end-game, while I see it as a beginning to another dimension of the interaction with the girl...

Anyhow, here is a cool article that confirms many of my conclusions that I have empirically discovered and have written about.

It's nice when science backs up what you have been saying for years

Here is the link: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/what_...qrPSftoi6N


On domination:

Quote:Quote:

Between 30 and 60 percent of women reported frequently having what’s been termed “rape fantasies,” and many of the women who described their own daydreams were also disturbed. “If I truly believed in women’s equality with men,” said one, “then I’d have to have sex and imagine sex that reflected that — no domination, no rape fantasies. One result was that I married a nice liberal man who shared my convictions on how sex should be. Seven years later we divorced.”

Desire:

Quote:Quote:

It’s long been believed that women need to feel emotionally connected in order to feel attracted, to want sex. But a recent study by sexologist Meredith Chivers shows that when it comes to desire, women are as visually stimulated and more easily turned on than men.

Quote:Quote:

Chivers theorizes that the gap between what women self-report and what actually happens to them physiologically is a byproduct of socialization — that women don’t feel as much permission to be as open as men do.

Pursuit:

Quote:Quote:

A landmark study by Martha McClintock reported not just rat flirtation — female rats engage in a sort of coy physical approach to males, moving closer and pulling away over and over — but, when faced with an indifferent male, do not give up. One female rat in McClintock’s study actually climbed a disinterested male and began pounding away from behind — and when the females succeed, they make sure to constantly push away the male during sex in order to keep it going longer.

Annnddddddddd my favorite one of all....

MONOGAMY:

Quote:Quote:

one study of long-term couples showed that, for women, lust dissipated faster than it did for men, and that when the men tried to be more domestic and considerate, it only turned the women off further. A leading researcher believes a key component of lust is distance and difficulty, the tension of not quite knowing whether this new person wants to sleep with you; living together for years blunts all of that.

Women are attracted to men who exhibit similar qualities to a lion in the wild - he has his freedom, he takes that he wants, he is exciting, passionate, aggressive. She is enamoured with him in this way.

When the lion becomes caged, he looses all of these qualities. He forgets how to fight, becomes soft, has his meals given to him. The woman than wonders "what happened to the lion I married!!! He is so different now!".

The crazy thing is that every women wants to try and tame a lion. But upon doing so I am very confident in saying she is evolutionarily designed to want to move onto the next thing. Furthermore the male looses the edge and persona that made him once attractive to her.

Relationships... A classic double edged sword.

Quote: (05-27-2013 07:44 AM)gandt Wrote:  

The crazy thing is that every women wants to try and tame a lion. But upon doing so I am very confident in saying she is evolutionarily designed to want to move onto the next thing. Furthermore the male looses the edge and persona that made him once attractive to her.

Almost like a female "notch," you could say.

Quote: (05-27-2013 05:53 PM)FourToTheFloor Wrote:  

Quote: (05-27-2013 07:44 AM)gandt Wrote:  

The crazy thing is that every women wants to try and tame a lion. But upon doing so I am very confident in saying she is evolutionarily designed to want to move onto the next thing. Furthermore the male looses the edge and persona that made him once attractive to her.

Almost like a female "notch," you could say.

Aye. And similar to many men, after they get said "notch" their attention turns elsewhere.

Quote: (05-28-2013 03:35 AM)gandt Wrote:  

Quote: (05-27-2013 05:53 PM)FourToTheFloor Wrote:  

Quote: (05-27-2013 07:44 AM)gandt Wrote:  

The crazy thing is that every women wants to try and tame a lion. But upon doing so I am very confident in saying she is evolutionarily designed to want to move onto the next thing. Furthermore the male looses the edge and persona that made him once attractive to her.

Almost like a female "notch," you could say.

Aye. And similar to many men, after they get said "notch" their attention turns elsewhere.

Ya. Got to keep them in aquisitive mode.

Xsplat, any suggestions on how you do this for our fellow members?

Quote: (05-28-2013 05:45 AM)gandt Wrote:  

Xsplat, any suggestions on how you do this for our fellow members?

People have positive emotions to you in relation to the value that you add to their life. So with a girl her emotions will be swayed in a positive direction the more you add value in any domain, such as;
1) Financial - if she is financially dependent on you that hand over her quality of life will translate into her loving you more
2) Social - if you and your social circle are a main part of her social life that hand over her quality of life will translate into her loving you more.
3) Sexual - if you fuck her the way no man ever has and likely no man ever will ever again, bringing her to emotional and sexual depths and heights beyond compare regularly, then that hand over her quality of life will translate into her loving you more
4) Your status - if your status is well above all her other suitors, because you exhibit many status markers, such as wealth, fitness, social circle leadership, business leadership, community connections, and so on, then you will have hand over her future quality of life, because if she lost you she would lose her close connection and even self-identity with your status position.
5) Romantic - if you manipulate the moods in your shared space, injecting some dramas but keeping the general tone warm, positive and sexual, then she will associate all positive emotions with you. This will give you hand over her, as she will fear losing you, the focus of her good life.

So those are some structural ways to add value to the woman's life, such that you are her best possible choice. As long as you are, her emotions will follow suit. She'll love you.

Sorry, that's the math of it. Add value, and she'll feed you all of her deepest emotions.

And that's a main value you can add to her. Resonating back those emotions with her - resonate when you fuck - feel her orgasm completely as you maintain it in her, minute after minute. Engage her emotionally as deeply and widely as possible. She'll feed you all this interest and intensity of emotions (especially when she comes, of course, but even in the less intense times) and you feel that as closely as you can, and resonate that back to her in your voice tone and the rhythms of her contractions and your thrusts. Fucking like that is also metaphorical - I'm saying that generally you add value to a woman's life by sharing emotional spaces and feeding that back and forth to each other, and when you do that very intensely, especially during fucking, it feeds you personally, improving quality of life, but also at the same time gives you very deep hooks into the girl from which you can manipulate her at a very, very deep level. The level of having a complete slave.

More:
It should go without saying that it's necessary to occasionally deliberately invoke dread of losing you, especially when she is acting badly. However be conscious that the dread will have more impact the more you are her best option.

The technology of dread-game is really just the flipside of playing to her hypergamy. Without both sides you don't have a coin.

Quote: (05-28-2013 08:51 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

Quote: (05-28-2013 05:45 AM)gandt Wrote:  

Xsplat, any suggestions on how you do this for our fellow members?

People have positive emotions to you in relation to the value that you add to their life. So with a girl her emotions will be swayed in a positive direction the more you add value in any domain, such as;
1) Financial - if she is financially dependent on you that hand over her quality of life will translate into her loving you more
2) Social - if you and your social circle are a main part of her social life that hand over her quality of life will translate into her loving you more.
3) Sexual - if you fuck her the way no man ever has and likely no man ever will ever again, bringing her to emotional and sexual depths and heights beyond compare regularly, then that hand over her quality of life will translate into her loving you more
4) Your status - if your status is well above all her other suitors, because you exhibit many status markers, such as wealth, fitness, social circle leadership, business leadership, community connections, and so on, then you will have hand over her future quality of life, because if she lost you she would lose her close connection and even self-identity with your status position.
5) Romantic - if you manipulate the moods in your shared space, injecting some dramas but keeping the general tone warm, positive and sexual, then she will associate all positive emotions with you. This will give you hand over her, as she will fear losing you, the focus of her good life.

So those are some structural ways to add value to the woman's life, such that you are her best possible choice. As long as you are, her emotions will follow suit. She'll love you.

Sorry, that's the math of it. Add value, and she'll feed you all of her deepest emotions.

And that's a main value you can add to her. Resonating back those emotions with her - resonate when you fuck - feel her orgasm completely as you maintain it in her, minute after minute. Engage her emotionally as deeply and widely as possible. She'll feed you all this interest and intensity of emotions (especially when she comes, of course, but even in the less intense times) and you feel that as closely as you can, and resonate that back to her in your voice tone and the rhythms of her contractions and your thrusts. Fucking like that is also metaphorical - I'm saying that generally you add value to a woman's life by sharing emotional spaces and feeding that back and forth to each other, and when you do that very intensely, especially during fucking, it feeds you personally, improving quality of life, but also at the same time gives you very deep hooks into the girl from which you can manipulate her at a very, very deep level. The level of having a complete slave.

Can you elaborate more on point number 5, "manipulate the moods" and "inject some dramas"? I've always had trouble figuring out how to reconcile this with "being the grounded tree in her emotional storm". By injecting drama, does that mean occasionally snapping back at her with some mild anger during her outbursts? Does it mean ignoring her for a period to get her wondering where you disappeared?

I would love some examples how to push and pull her emotions tp build that strong connection.

Quote: (05-31-2013 07:51 PM)Takes3totango Wrote:  

Quote: (05-28-2013 08:51 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

Quote: (05-28-2013 05:45 AM)gandt Wrote:  

Xsplat, any suggestions on how you do this for our fellow members?

People have positive emotions to you in relation to the value that you add to their life. So with a girl her emotions will be swayed in a positive direction the more you add value in any domain, such as;
1) Financial - if she is financially dependent on you that hand over her quality of life will translate into her loving you more
2) Social - if you and your social circle are a main part of her social life that hand over her quality of life will translate into her loving you more.
3) Sexual - if you fuck her the way no man ever has and likely no man ever will ever again, bringing her to emotional and sexual depths and heights beyond compare regularly, then that hand over her quality of life will translate into her loving you more
4) Your status - if your status is well above all her other suitors, because you exhibit many status markers, such as wealth, fitness, social circle leadership, business leadership, community connections, and so on, then you will have hand over her future quality of life, because if she lost you she would lose her close connection and even self-identity with your status position.
5) Romantic - if you manipulate the moods in your shared space, injecting some dramas but keeping the general tone warm, positive and sexual, then she will associate all positive emotions with you. This will give you hand over her, as she will fear losing you, the focus of her good life.

So those are some structural ways to add value to the woman's life, such that you are her best possible choice. As long as you are, her emotions will follow suit. She'll love you.

Sorry, that's the math of it. Add value, and she'll feed you all of her deepest emotions.

And that's a main value you can add to her. Resonating back those emotions with her - resonate when you fuck - feel her orgasm completely as you maintain it in her, minute after minute. Engage her emotionally as deeply and widely as possible. She'll feed you all this interest and intensity of emotions (especially when she comes, of course, but even in the less intense times) and you feel that as closely as you can, and resonate that back to her in your voice tone and the rhythms of her contractions and your thrusts. Fucking like that is also metaphorical - I'm saying that generally you add value to a woman's life by sharing emotional spaces and feeding that back and forth to each other, and when you do that very intensely, especially during fucking, it feeds you personally, improving quality of life, but also at the same time gives you very deep hooks into the girl from which you can manipulate her at a very, very deep level. The level of having a complete slave.

Can you elaborate more on point number 5, "manipulate the moods" and "inject some dramas"? I've always had trouble figuring out how to reconcile this with "being the grounded tree in her emotional storm". By injecting drama, does that mean occasionally snapping back at her with some mild anger during her outbursts? Does it mean ignoring her for a period to get her wondering where you disappeared?

I would love some examples how to push and pull her emotions tp build that strong connection.

Background: I'm on the same hedonic treadmill as the rest of us; trying to stay motivated and not get too comfortable, but every step forward eventually becomes a new norm. As an example I was very pleased yesterday to be meeting my 2nd girlfriend, but when I took her out for some Sushi I got the hunger for prettier random faces. So I recently had abundant sex and am running on 10% battery pwer and now have the option to go sarging at the mall (something I've never done that intimidates me), or hang out here and work on business and write on forums and blogs. A glass of cola and cocoa and some co-q10 might bring the batteries up to 20% - enough to head out. That leaves enough time to reply.

I really like your question, but you might not like my answer. I'm an ex heavy drinker, and so my moods had become habitually volatile. I found that worked out pretty well, and so kept many of those emotional habits around. I find that a cave man type of temper can work very well in a relationship. I don't subscribe to the Mr. Spock school of Vulcan relationship game.

I am not a grounded tree in the girls emotional storm. I don't tolerate emotional storms. If she wants to storm I'll either kick her out of my place or leave it and go stay elsewhere, or I'll scream at her. I don't take shit. If she's not happy, she has the option to leave. That's it.

And I have my requirements and expectations.

She must:
1) fuck me regularly
2) dress well
3) keep a well tended clean and tidy house
4) tend to the kitchen and lovingly prepare me food on demand

If she backslides and forgets her duties I'll get angry, and sometimes go off on a heavy rant at her. Not mild at all. I can get genuinely angry and show it. The woman has her job to do, and I feel neglected if she doesn't do it. I work hard, and in doing so take care of her. It's not a heavy demand on her to do her womanly duties.

Also I'll go off on her if she throws some stupid jealous fit (which can go hand in hand with her passively aggressively neglecting her house duties). As that doesn't put much of a stop to them, I sometimes kick her out for those or abandon her for them, then just wait it out. I can't fix her wiring, but that doesn't mean I must put up with emotional abuse. There have been times when I've responded to her crap with extreme negativity, and that's all as it should be.

Again: I absolutely do not condone emotional reservation from the man. The man should be able to emotionally as well as physically as well as financially overpower the woman. That's all hand and stick. And then he should also regularly make her come and come and swoon with romantic love. You should be able to keep a very warm and lusty ambiance up until the time that her behaviors demand a kick in the ass, and then you should be able to kick without reservation.

Maintaining a loving and lusty ambiance is a very large skill set that I almost never see discussed, as most men are most interested in getting the initial lay. But your authority to chastise in large part comes from your ability to emotionally overpower her frame into your positive one - your positive frame of lusty romance. That gives you authority over all of her life. That and having some solid financial future in store for her.

How to maintain a positive, heartfelt, happy, romantic, sexually charged, lusty ambiance?

Well, the chi-kung practice of the inner smile would be a good place to start. And libido enhancing practices will also help. I recommend chi-kung, and possibly also testosterone and hgh replacement therapy. Some chi-kung practices can make some men constantly sexually aroused and some other meditative practices can bring about a constant warm heartfelt loving feeling. A good combo for power over a woman. She'll come to depend on you psychologically. THAT is your rock and bedrock. THAT gives you authority to be the storm.

Her storms have no authority and are not allowed.

There are many different characters that are successful. Consider how Gandalf was written to be: he was quick to anger, and quick to forgive and laugh. You don't have to be emotionally reticent in order for a girl to consider you her bedrock. Just be honest and loving, and from that you can take no shit, and take it one further and be demanding. Girls LIKE it when you are demanding. They WANT big expectations made upon them. It means you are high value, and that you are apportioning them a position in your world.

A conditional position.

Good stuff xsplat and timely for me as my relationship game is pretty much nonexistant, which has caused a couple issues with the current gf.

Some things carry over, such as holding the dominant frame, however it seems a slight dose of beta is required on occasion. Expressing one's feelings for instance.

I consider relationship game to be AlphaBeta and will continue to look into the experiences of others to use as a guide.

Not ashamed to say that this current girl is pretty fucking spectacular in my eyes, far beyond looks. The first to make me even consider a relationship in a very long time. Holding hand with her is something I have to consciously remind myself of as it is tempting to go too beta, which will turn her off in a hurry.

And she still occasionally throws out a shit test. One recent one I do not recall what was said by either of us, but I do recall my assholish response caused her to skip across the room and plant a wet one on me as I relaxed in my chair.

She, like all women, wants to know she is with a man.

i like the book "women's infidelity: living in limbo" by michelle langley. great read