Gentlemen,

I've been in a LTR for about 15 months now with a girl that is potentially my future wife. Having said that, we are going to live separately for the next 2-5 years; I plan to see her every 3-4 months and "fuck her good (XIV)".

She has stated that she not only will not cheat, but has absolutely no desire to. She has been with 2 guys before she met me.

An interesting consideration: I have not agreed to be abstinent, and she has in fact given me the green light to proceed, although she doesn't like it.

My question is, for those of you that have or are going through a similar situation, how would you maximise the probability she will stay faithful? I realize that she's a girl and the chances are high she will not stay faithful regardless of what she says, but ideally I'd like to have her around later.

Let me make this clear: I have no problem moving on without her if she fails.

The "equality" hamster is really powerful in most women. Maybe someone more experienced than me can chime in, but I don't think you having your own public dalliances and her staying faithful is really gonna work out unless the relationship is an edge case. She'll think "Why am I being faithful if he can't keep it in his pants?" ... Most women don't really think about how its incredibly rare for a man to get all the pussy he wants. Some really do think that a man can go out and get laid just as easily as she can.

Tell her you'll be faithful and ask her to be faithful as well, with subtle hints that let her know you won't tolerate any cheating. If you do cheat and she finds out though, the relationship will be over.

Quote: (03-26-2013 09:11 AM)Hallasan Wrote:  

I plan to see her every 3-4 months

Force her to come to you every 3 -4 months. Never ever go over to her place. Always make her come crawling to you. She will complain that it's unfair that she is always doing the travelling, but stay firm. You will already be inconvenienced simply by making a window in your busy schedule for her to come visit you, you as a man do not need any additional inconvenience such as travelling far away just for the sake of visiting a mere woman.

Everytime she visits you, she will be emotionally investing in the relationship.

In full agreement with augen and Thomas. In addition:

Why is she living apart from you? If a woman were agreeing to be my wife, that would mean submitting to my authority and moving to accommodate me. Clearly, you are not her #1 priority if she is unwilling to live near you, and that should give you a lot of pause for a girl you might marry.

Call 2-3 times per week when she's falling asleep and make her cum with phone sex. Hypnotica has a product. Keep your testosterone high so you're motivated.

2-5 years is a long time. She might be game now, but that will not likely last. Girls get antsy, especially when she sees you infrequently and knows you're sleeping around. There's a reason why most long-distance LTRs fail. I wish I could be optimistic, but I'm not. I'd say this is impossible.

Quote: (03-26-2013 09:11 AM)Hallasan Wrote:  

I've been in a LTR for about 15 months now with a girl that is potentially my future wife. Having said that, we are going to live separately for the next 2-5 years;

Forget it. 2-5 years is an eternity in a woman's reproductive terms. And "fucking her good" every 3-4 months is not going to cut it when she's ovulating.

95% she will have sex with some other dude during that time, and you'll never know for certain one way or the other. You'll always be telling yourself that the 5% applies to you. Maybe some people could live with that. But why the heck would you want to thread that needle? She got the magic pussy? Heiress?

Out of sight, out of mind.

Augen:
I've considered this too. I have thought of just saying that I will stay faithful, but honestly, my sex drive is high and she will probably not believe it seriously. And if/when she "catches" me, it'll hurt her more.

Thomas:
Your response is very interesting and ingenious. I may very well take this advice, thank you. You have first-hand experience? Can you share with me by PM and/or the board more about your experience? Did you pay full or partial for her to fly to you? I don't think most girls would drop 2 grand a year for 15 days with any man.

Basil:
I am returning to school and its my decision to live on my own. She would live with me anywhere I go if I asked. She already has in the past, so this is not an issue.

Ovid and Rawgod:
I'm fully aware of what you both have said. Thank you for your personal input though.

Quote: (03-26-2013 09:11 AM)Hallasan Wrote:  

Let me make this clear: I have no problem moving on without her if she fails.

Then why bother? Break up with each other. In 2-5 years you could date countless girls to find another good one, while she can search for somebody who "fucks her good" every day. Long Distance Relationships never work out, especially not over that period of time. And honestly, you don´t really sound too attached to her, and if that´s true you should stop giving her false hope.

Quote:Quote:

I am returning to school and its my decision to live on my own. She would live with me anywhere I go if I asked. She already has in the past, so this is not an issue.

If you would really want to make this work, and maybe even marry her, you would take her with you.

This:

Quote:Quote:

An interesting consideration: I have not agreed to be abstinent, and she has in fact given me the green light to proceed, although she doesn't like it.

is just a foolproof way to make sure that this:

Quote:Quote:

She has stated that she not only will not cheat, but has absolutely no desire to.

will become a lie. Overall, your scenario puts unnecessary amounts of psychological stress on you and especially her. She´ll find a way to cope with it, and it won´t be you. Soon the hamsterwheel starts spinning over this unjust, unfair agreement, and that´s the end of the story.
Break up, and try to reframe it in a "destiny has torn us apart" way, where unforgiving circumstances put a sudden and painful end to your love. You just want her to find happiness, and even tough it´s an excruciating decision, you have to let her go, for her own good. She´ll hopefully remember you as the one that got away, and if you ever wish to return someday, you´ll have a foot in the door.
Sounds corny, but as your relationship probably has no future anyway (just my opinion given the provided facts), it could be worth a try.

Some dude is going to nail her quick. This entire idea is retarded and doesn't even belong any place close to this forum. Five years? I could get married and divorced 3 times have two kids become a millionaire and go broke and do it again in that time frame..

You're going to be on one of those marriage forums in a few years bud. This has disaster written all over it.

If she would move anywhere with you why isn't she? Why aren't you telling her to?

This whole situation is strange. It sounds like you're here to have someone pat you on the back and say this is a good idea, when it doesn't make sense. Either make her move with you, or end it. In the long run, stringing her along would take up too much of your time for little payoff.

Betting the original poster totally disregards all the advice here.

Yeah, if you really want to keep her around, take her with.

I'd just quit while you're ahead. It's shitty if you really think she's marriage material, but the last thing you want is to figure out that she's been fucking the same dude on the sly once you do get married and none of your children belong to you.

One of my buddies had a "long distance" relationship with a girl who lived about 4 hours away. He'd entertain her ass for hours on skype and he would even watch her sleep (creepy, I know, but he don't listen to my advice). Needless to say, the relationship disintegrated after her friends got involved and told her she was wasting her time.

If you're getting shamed by someone into commitment, then tell them to fuck off. They don't have your interests, they're not you and they don't have to foot the bill.

If you really think about it there seems to be two success models for modern relationships...

Classic Religious where you and your woman agree to the constructs of a mutually agreed religion and raise a family within those constructs and that community... This model is big on the woman submitting to the will of her king lord and master being her husband the head of house - many fundamental Christian and Mormon men are reported to be quite happy with this arrangement where the church is also their extended community with social pressure keeping the ever present rationalization hamsters in check.

Or that of the modern barbarian (Viking, Russian, Muslim, Africans etc essentiually any multi-female per male culture) that keeps a harem like warriors of old and cycles through favorite females for sex and or mating in and out of favor and trades off the ones that no longer please - of course in this day and age most barbarian women are free to do the same so bound to be some heartache not to mention STDs that crop up from time to time in transitions.

Also leads to a lot of wilding anything goes youth raised mostly in single mother households with no Paternal role models or guidance.

Those are the extremes and not too much seems to work in the "middle" as compromise is just that - two or more people unhappy with the outcome who eventually go their own separate ways.

This thread has taken an unpleasant turn.

Basically, I'm a 24 year old guy with a girl that in my opinion, to the best of my ability, is wife material.

I'm not looking to be tied down to one girl at this age, but it doesn't seem wise to just leave her behind.

I imagine this is a fairly common issue for some of the men of this forum, particularly those overseas.

Basil:
I'm definitely not here for my own self-esteem. I don't have many irl red pill buddies, so I asked the forum for an opinion and their reasoning.

I appreciate all the opinions from the forum.

This is a good read:

My Relationship Manifesto: What To Do After You Get the Girl
http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/commen...after_you/

Hallasan, how old is the girl? If she is also 24 or so and really marriage material, she's probably ready for being wifed up. What are her thoughts on this? Has she ever expressed a desire to hold off (unsaid: until better cock comes along)?

Increase probability of LTR faithfulness = Dont date sluts.

Doesn't wanna leave girl behind - moves to other continent. Doesn't wanna leave girl behind - doesn't wanna take her with him either.

Your own hamster is spinning on this.

/thread

You don't really feel like she's wife material. If she were, there wouldn't be a 2-5 year period of living apart. You've been dating her for a little over a year. This is a milestone in LTRs. It's the point where you have gotten past the happy hormone and honeymoon phases. You've decided that it's not her, not now. You are trying to keep her on a string so you have some no effort sex when you are home. I get that, but it's not going to work.

Quote:Quote:

This thread has taken an unpleasant turn.

It did.

Quote: (03-26-2013 02:26 PM)Hallasan Wrote:  

This thread has taken an unpleasant turn.

Basically, I'm a 24 year old guy with a girl that in my opinion, to the best of my ability, is wife material.

I'm not looking to be tied down to one girl at this age, but it doesn't seem wise to just leave her behind.

I imagine this is a fairly common issue for some of the men of this forum, particularly those overseas.

Basil:
I'm definitely not here for my own self-esteem. I don't have many irl red pill buddies, so I asked the forum for an opinion and their reasoning.

I appreciate all the opinions from the forum.

What you want to do is package her up and store her in the cabinet to use at a later date. Won't work. She'll eventually get tired of being the only one of her girlfriends who doesn't have a boyfriend on the weekends. The moment she drops you it'll hit you like a ton of bricks in the fucking face. You'll wonder how she is capable of being so cruel. If she's worthy of being on the pedestal you placed her on, then commit now; otherwise, move on and enjoy your youth.

Absence will make her heart grow stronger


And yonder

Quote: (03-26-2013 09:30 PM)Smitty Wrote:  

Quote: (03-26-2013 02:26 PM)Hallasan Wrote:  

This thread has taken an unpleasant turn.

Basically, I'm a 24 year old guy with a girl that in my opinion, to the best of my ability, is wife material.

I'm not looking to be tied down to one girl at this age, but it doesn't seem wise to just leave her behind.

I imagine this is a fairly common issue for some of the men of this forum, particularly those overseas.

Basil:
I'm definitely not here for my own self-esteem. I don't have many irl red pill buddies, so I asked the forum for an opinion and their reasoning.

I appreciate all the opinions from the forum.

What you want to do is package her up and store her in the cabinet to use at a later date. Won't work. She'll eventually get tired of being the only one of her girlfriends who doesn't have a boyfriend on the weekends. The moment she drops you it'll hit you like a ton of bricks in the fucking face. You'll wonder how she is capable of being so cruel. If she's worthy of being on the pedestal you placed her on, then commit now; otherwise, move on and enjoy your youth.

Couldn't have said it better. If she's really worth marrying, she's worth marrying now, because now is the only time you're going to get her.

Sure, she'll agree to try a long-distance thing, and she might even agree to let you openly sleep with other girls, because she's attached to you and sees that as the only way to keep you. When you're distant, and doing your own stuff, and don't have time to talk to her for hours every day, her attachment will wane. It will be especially hard after you two have visited once or twice, because every time she sees you, she will be so happy and excited, and then when she has to go back, she'll get deeply depressed. After a few of those low points, she'll be ready to call it quits. This will be exacerbated by her gnawing sense of injustice, that she is left emotionally unfulfilled while you are off having fun, and sleeping with other girls, no less. If that arrangement lasts two months, I will have to say she has heroic fortitude. Two years or five is out of the question. Her friends will put pressure on her too, because they will see that she's getting the short end of the stick. And, of course, all it will take is one guy showing some interest in her, and her legs will be open. That's just how women are. They're weak, and when you put them in situations of temptation, they will fall. They are not known for their iron willpower.

If you're lucky, she'll just break up with you. If you're unlucky, she will continue the charade and lead you on. Meanwhile, you'll have to put up with epic amounts of drama, as she cries to you on the phone, makes surprise visits at inconvenient times, etc. How could you enjoy the 'freedom' of banging other girls with that kind of sword hanging over your head?

If she's so clearly worth it, marry her now. If you're not willing to do that, then break up with her.