rooshvforum.network is a fully functional forum: you can search, register, post new threads etc...
Old accounts are inaccessible: register a new one, or recover it when possible. x


Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?
#26

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Quote: (11-26-2018 02:50 PM)TigerMandingo Wrote:  

American friendships revolve around hanging out on the weekend for a couple of beers or to watch a football game. There is also constant pressure to "be positive" and so you can't really open up to someone, which is a stepping tone to a true friendship.

Lots and LOTS of lonely people in America. Few talk about this.

I completely agree with your post.
Reply
#27

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Here in Luxembourg having almost no native population anymore and half of the working force flooding the border, I feel like that friendships don't really exist anymore. There is a huge disconnection, where every nationality will stay and stick in their own groups. Most friendships that exist are due to school (primary school, high school, university not so much funnily enough), sports club or other places where you share a hobby for instance. But then again if you leave school, x club or your hobby meeting people will forget about you pretty fast. Bigger companies try to establish this, that you should also be 'friends' with your co-worker, by organising events, parties etc, but it just doesn't feel genuine. Moreover having half of them speaking French and you speaking Luxembourgish (and being forced to interact in French because some people are just LAZY to learn a new language) just makes things very annoying. However if someone asks you to go for a drink, it means that they are not fake friendly.
Reply
#28

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

I have only lived in Australia (I am not including vacations in this) so that is the country I will talk about. In Australia most people have acquaintances rather than real friends.
Reply
#29

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

In China, I'd say friendships are sorta tenuous. A lot of it is just about who you grew up with. After that, it mostly boils down to "what can this person do for me?"

It seems genuine since you're constantly escalating favors for each other, but also feels disingenuous since it's just an exchange of resources.

Back home, I don't have many friends but we mostly talk about the difficult things when we talk. We even argue sometimes, but I feel like we battle with each other since we're actually cool. Like if I say something shady and get called for it, I can accept that.

Generally, I'm past the point of maintaining DOA friendships. If we got a reason to talk, let's talk. Otherwise I'll spare us both the wankery.

Verdict: Your real friends in USA are always your real friends. Your Chinese friends need to be handled cautiously until you know he isn't a flighty bastard.

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
Reply
#30

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

I've talked with my American friend on this topic, she claims Europeans seem to be the ones with shallow friendships(her anecdote is Germans). She claims she is hanging out with Germans who've been friends for a long time and hang out everyday, but eventually after a while she seems to know many things about them that they don't know about each other, almost knowing them better than they know each other. Apparently it isn't just her, Americans in general are very "nosy"(her term) and curious and want to know everything about you. While others are more comfortable keeping things at a distance.
Reply
#31

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

^Well, girls are different. I personally find America to be very sterile, not just compared to somewhere like Mexico but compared even to Denmark. And people here are soooo individualistic. I believe this is the real reason public transport (even trains) are not a big thing in America. Where I live, in the suburbs you don't even see your neighbors. I've had friends from different countries (Germany, Mexico, India,...) telling me similar things, about human interactions in the US being superficial.
Americans are generally nice but you should always observe their boundaries, and they seem to have a lot of them (e.g. being anti Trump for those who are). When I was moving to the US as a student, I read a document prepared by DoS about life in America. It contained a statement like (I paraphrase) "Americans usually have only a few close friends because they don't want to compromise their independence/individuality".

This individuality apparently has historical roots but I can't help but think those in power love isolated people.

A whore ain't nothing but a trick to a pimp. (Iceberg Slim)
Beauty is in the erection of the beholder. (duedue)
Grab your life by the pussy.
A better question to ask is "What EXACTLY do I want out of life and what EXACTLY am I doing to get EXACTLY that? If you can answer that question truthfully you will be the most Alpha motherfucker you will ever need to be. (PapayaTapper)
Reply
#32

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

My first impression of most americans I've met has been that they're shallow, putting on a front, that "yeah buddy everything is soooo great" thing that TigerMandingo mentioned. Like you have to constantly remind everyone how much fun you're having, how cool you are, how great your life is. That's annoying.

What I appreciate about Brits and Scandos is their sense of self deprecating dark humor. It allows you to get to know people better without having to be all "woe is me" sullen about it and scaring people away. "The Peep Show" is a good example of this (and a hilarious comedy series).

Then again, online there doesn't seem to be any difference in how people communicate, so I figure it's mostly down to social expectations.
Reply
#33

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Quote: (11-22-2018 07:48 AM)the-dream Wrote:  

In more extroverted countries like the Philippines or Mexico where people of all ages socialize all day and most people wouldn't think twice about things like letting relative strangers in to their house to eat their food, being friendly is an expectation so it's actually quite difficult to cross that line from being friendly (ie. a normal person) to being a genuine friend. It is easier to make semi-friends but still very difficult to make real friends, especially if you are an outsider.

Well spoken. I definitely had a hard time crossing the bridge from friendly to friend in Latin America. It made me a bit bummed to see that although surface level friendliness looks different in this continent, it still turns out the same as the US.

I guess you just have to look at it like game. You can have a great time during your initial meeting with the person, feel like you could build something great together, and exchange numbers and all. Then you try to arrange something for later and all you get is crickets. But then you just got to keep going through the motions until you find someone that sticks.
Reply
#34

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Quote: (11-26-2018 11:25 AM)TigerMandingo Wrote:  

Hmm..it depends. I generally find Americans fake as fuck. "Friendly but not your friend" is the best way to describe them. They'll go out with you for a beer but don't expect anything deeper than that.

Euros are definitely more open to friendships, I find. The Anglosphere is individualism on steroids so that may be why it is harder to form genuine friendships there.

Individualism and fakeness is ingrained into American culture.
Reply
#35

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Quote: (12-13-2018 11:17 AM)Day Game Bang Wrote:  

Quote: (11-26-2018 11:25 AM)TigerMandingo Wrote:  

Hmm..it depends. I generally find Americans fake as fuck. "Friendly but not your friend" is the best way to describe them. They'll go out with you for a beer but don't expect anything deeper than that.

Euros are definitely more open to friendships, I find. The Anglosphere is individualism on steroids so that may be why it is harder to form genuine friendships there.

Individualism and fakeness is ingrained into American culture.

I don't know how many times I've heard some dude talk about "being your authentic self" in America.

On the other hand, I've never heard anything like that uttered in Mexico.

It's like so many Americans live their whole lives as a fake persona, and that inner conflict manifests itself in them thinking they're qualified to give advice to other people about how to be "authentic."

"So authentic." "Your true self." "Game changer." "Killing it."

I walk into a room in America and someone asks, "How are you doing today?"

And I think about answering the question, but then I realize, "Wait, no, this guy doesn't care how I'm doing today, he just likes to make sounds. If I actually answer his question, he'll be offended if I take more than 2 seconds."

"Be personable, but not personal" is basically an unspoken American mantra.

This applies more to people that work in the corporate world and academia. Tradesmen and the like seem to do their own thing.
Reply
#36

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Quote: (12-13-2018 11:26 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  

I don't know how many times I've heard some dude talk about "being your authentic self" in America.

On the other hand, I've never heard anything like that uttered in Mexico.

It's like so many Americans live their whole lives as a fake persona, and that inner conflict manifests itself in them thinking they're qualified to give advice to other people about how to be "authentic."

"So authentic." "Your true self." "Game changer." "Killing it."

I walk into a room in America and someone asks, "How are you doing today?"

And I think about answering the question, but then I realize, "Wait, no, this guy doesn't care how I'm doing today, he just likes to make sounds. If I actually answer his question, he'll be offended if I take more than 2 seconds."

I do agree the American culture of "virtue signalling" authenticity is tiring.

That being said I've always been able to say how I truly felt with Americans, provided they don't lean left/SJW. And virtually never with Kiwis or other Anglos(Aussies/Brits). Even some Euros don't like me being "negative" or "complaining".

I suspect you just dislike small talk.
Reply
#37

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Quote: (12-13-2018 01:22 PM)The Catalyst Wrote:  

Quote: (12-13-2018 11:26 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  

I don't know how many times I've heard some dude talk about "being your authentic self" in America.

On the other hand, I've never heard anything like that uttered in Mexico.

It's like so many Americans live their whole lives as a fake persona, and that inner conflict manifests itself in them thinking they're qualified to give advice to other people about how to be "authentic."

"So authentic." "Your true self." "Game changer." "Killing it."

I walk into a room in America and someone asks, "How are you doing today?"

And I think about answering the question, but then I realize, "Wait, no, this guy doesn't care how I'm doing today, he just likes to make sounds. If I actually answer his question, he'll be offended if I take more than 2 seconds."

I do agree the American culture of "virtue signalling" authenticity is tiring.

That being said I've always been able to say how I truly felt with Americans, provided they don't lean left/SJW. And virtually never with Kiwis or other Anglos(Aussies/Brits). Even some Euros don't like me being "negative" or "complaining".

I suspect you just dislike small talk.


"Mainstream" Americans worship Brits/Aussies/Kiwis and their accent. Hence that is why you felt more comfortable with Americans. Hollywood is overreprsented with non-American Anglos (especially Brits and Aussies), so the average Americans view you guys naturally in a positive light.

Take advantage of your accent because it is very easy to sleep with American women (but you probably know that by now) simply by being a Brit/Irish/Scottish/Aussie/Kiwi. Canadian guys got the short end of the stick lol
Reply
#38

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Quote: (11-26-2018 02:50 PM)TigerMandingo Wrote:  

Lots and LOTS of lonely people in America. Few talk about this.

TigerMandingo is a genius! He knows the pulse of America:






I think multiculturalism/diversity is also why people in the U.S. are so lonely
Reply
#39

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

I would definitely say Americans are more superficial in our friendships, whereas in other cultures there's more of a genuine bond. In cultures where there's more of a genuine bond, it's harder to crack into their social circles. But once you do, you're in for life. Whereas in America most "friendships" are probably more like acquaintances and come and go on the drop of a dime.
Reply
#40

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Quote: (12-17-2018 03:54 PM)Uprising Wrote:  

I would definitely say Americans are more superficial in our friendships, whereas in other cultures there's more of a genuine bond. In cultures where there's more of a genuine bond, it's harder to crack into their social circles. But once you do, you're in for life. Whereas in America most "friendships" are probably more like acquaintances and come and go on the drop of a dime.

The attitude is: "what can you do for me?"
Reply
#41

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Here is an article I read today that tells you everything you need to know about the temperament and type of brits/Americans vs the Russians, for all those who feel friendships are more real over there.

Quote:Quote:

Martitime Journal. Insight for the european commercial marine business.
Toggle search input
Toggle navigation
LOCAL HEROES SAVE STRANDED BULK CARRIER
INDUSTRY DATABASE
The argument for reinstating Emergency Towing Vessels around the UK coast was raised again on December 18, when a Russian bulk carrier ran aground in Cornwall, writes Graeme Ewens.

Severe weather with a southerly force 8 wind, gusting 60mph, caused the 180m Kuzma Minin (1980/16257gt/23169 dwt) to drag anchor and it grounded 100m from Gyllingvase Beach, Falmouth, with its bow swivelling on rocks and the stern bouncing on the sand in a 10ft swell. The unladen ice-classed vessel was in danger of serious damage and possible total loss, with the potential risk of a fuel spill.

The successful operation to free the vessel was due to the rapid and heroic efforts of local mariners, who frequently work together. Maritime contractors and operators SeaWide Services (SWS) and KML combined with Falmouth pilots, Falmouth Harbour Authority, A&P and Falmouth and Fowey harbour tugs. The Falmouth lifeboat and pilot vessel Arrow stood by. The ship's crew of 18 were understood to be in no immediate danger.

Brendan Rowe, MD of SWS first noticed the ship was aground when he made a routine AIS check at around 5am. After a visual sighting he notified Falmouth Coastguard, then contacted Diccon Rogers MD of KML. Mr Rogers mobilised his team, with salvage equipment, heavy anchors and ground tackle at his Falmouth Wharves base. The two men then deployed the KML 10-metre RIB with two SWS crew and sped to the casualty. Mr Rowe boarded the ship by pilot ladder from the RIB after a hazardous approach through the surf. Falmouth pilot Tristan Gurd, who calmly managed the operation, was dropped onto the deck by Coastguard helicopter along with a CG winchman.

Diccon Rogers and the RIB crew then delivered messenger ropes from the ship to local harbour tugs, with the 21.5 ton bollard pull (tpb) St Piran the first to connect to the ship's stern. Rocket lines were not reaching their target and the powerful RIB, driven by twin 200hp engines, spent the next five hours transferring rope from various vessels in heavy breaking seas, strong wind and torrential rain.

St Piran kept the stern away from the shore and harbour tugs Ankorva (18.5tbp) and Percuil (15tbp) were eventually connected forward and midships but their tow lines kept breaking. These small tugs are not salvage vessels but performed bravely in the breaking surf.

KML's multicat/tug Sarah Grey (17tbp) then went inshore of the ship to help keep it off the beach but when that proved too dangerous it moved to the bow. By then the tug Cannis (32tbp) had been despatched from Fowey, two hours away.

Mr Rowe stated the Russian crew were 'disheartened and not very enthusiastic' to help him connect the lines to the ship's bollards and mooring bits, with the danger of ropes snapping and rebounding onto the ship. The sound of breaking tow ropes was heard clearly on the shore, where sightseers had gathered.

The Cannis arrived just after High Water and connected to the bow. The pilot had started the ship's main engine, attempting to swivel the ice bow off the reef and at around 13.30 it was 'slowly moving', with all tugs pulling at full power. By 14.00 the ship was under tow to the anchorage to await underwater survey.

Mr Rogers said “I’m pleased that the combined marine resources of Falmouth were able to deliver an effective salvage of Kuzma Minin. It was a great team effort. By responding so quickly, we were able both to save the ship and prevent a major environmental spill.”

In a social media post, Russian ambassador to the UK Alexander Yakovenko expressed his thanks to the MCA for its prompt response and its goodwill.

However, Murmansk Shipping Company, operator of the Kuzma Minin, blamed "unsafe shipping conditions" in UK waters for the grounding. "The ship got caught on some sort of chain that was on the bottom of the strait," alleged director Ildar Neverov, on RIA Novosti. “We will clearly state our position on the fact that the conditions for safe navigation in this area have not been created [and] we will definitely look at recovery of damages.”

The Kuzma Minin had recently left Terneuzen after a 71-day detention over serious defects. It has also been reported that the crew had not been paid for some time.
Reply
#42

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

^^Russians are not known for being warm/friendly, but at least they are not fake like Americans
Reply
#43

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

It is an interesting post - not least because friendly is exactly what Americans are, almost genetically. I think people misinterpret the ability to be friendly and still not give much of a shit about you as being fake. No one else is really very good at unaffectedly friendly in the way Americans are. As a foreigner, I have some sympathy with the idea that it can be annoying, but only in the sense that it represents a strong ‘other’ that butts against one’s own culture, and one is thereby forced up against a very marked and noticeable difference.

By contrast, to me it is the Russians who are ‘fake’, in the sense that the friendship never runs as deep as they profess. By contrast, Brits and Americans tend to feel more deeply than they can comfortably express.
Reply
#44

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

That article didn't say much to me. It's one-sided and therefore likely biased.

Brits are quite reserved until they've had a few pints, then they let it all out. The rest of the time they're almost bashful.

Americans are generally more outgoing and that seems fake to most people.

Russians don't give a shit about being fake with small-talk, although they're superficial in other ways.
Reply
#45

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

I agree with what Spaniard and TigerMandingo have said. American friendliness is fake and very few people are interested in developing a deeper connection with a stranger. American culture puts a lot of emphasis on appearances and "branding", which pushes people to be "open" and avoid conflict. I can't tell you how many times I've been strung along by both guys and girls when it comes to building any meaningful connections.

I can't verify this, but I've thought for a while now that in the US there are a higher proportion of introverts being forced into extrovert type behaviors. Maybe this is a part of the reason, along with smartphones and social media, as to why girls are less receptive in bars and clubs than they used to be. Perhaps there are more introverted girls pressured to go out and be seen (while still having the protection of ever larger "friend" groups).
Reply
#46

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

I'll say it depends on culture.

One thing I immediately noticed at Business school was that it felt like almost everyone there was playing a social game of trying to kiss-ass to the hive mind. On a few occassions it would slip, like one guy (borderline ANTIFA worldview) who made a comment to the effect that most people are just out of shape because they're making bullshit excuses.

Most people know on some level what the Truth is. They're also too afraid to actually say it causes some terrible dissonance.
Reply
#47

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

In my culture and language, a "friend" is someone you are sharing very personal matter with, someone you know well, someone who knows many of your personal affairs and past. People whose name you know, neighbours you are not in a fight with, colleagues from work - these are not "friends" in our culture.

Erin Meyer's "Culture Map" is a good book when it comes to deciphering the various cultural differences, also in terms of punctuality/time.
Reply
#48

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Unpopular opinion ahead:

Americans fake, Europeans more friendly, and bashful brits? Puhleaze.

Friendships in different cultures are different, with completely different outcomes and expectations. It is up to you to learn how to utilize them.

I live and roll in the so called fakest city in America Los fucking Angeles. Right now, I have a few people I can call and ask to watch my dog on a day‘s notice. I regurlarly spend time with a b lister who I frequently have over for dinner with the wife. Met him and his wife randomly at Runyon Canyon.

His wife sent my wife a very charming Christmas gift which we got on saturday. Do fake people do that? No!

And that’s just in my neighborhood. Don’t get me going on my church!

You want a real hard truth? Anytime I hear someone using the word fake, I take a hard long look at that individual and you know what I see? An insecure borderline MGTOW who is unable to adapt to changing social environments.

There's a bunch of you on this thread who I wouldn’t bring into my friend groups in a million years. Op espexially. Why? Because you're all whiny sticks in the mud with drifter toss away attitudes. Most people.and cultures rightly don't Lome or trust it.

"Waah people are fake, my transient friendships made abroad are more authentic."

No bro, they‘re not. Maybe if you stuck along in a place longer than a six months looking for more than just busting a nut you‘d discover that.
Reply
#49

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

Benny the Polyglot (Irish guy who travels a lot) had some good and bad things to say about Americans, including that they're mostly fake

https://www.fluentin3months.com/usa-clashes/
Reply
#50

Are friendships more normal and genuine outside of USA/anglosphere?

I will say one positive about the individualism of the US is that while true it can be a scorn on society, I have noticed that people's I know from other cultures that are expected to be tight knit with neighbors, friends, and family also have a tendency to allow those people to drag them down a bit at times when they should really be setting boundaries or cutting them loose.

Civilize the mind but make savage the body.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)