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How to escalate during a night out
#1

How to escalate during a night out

Hey lads, thanks for having me on the forum. I have been doing night game recently and i've been doing decent. But my biggest problems are escalating and closing (kiss/pull). I seem to spark an attraction in girls and keep a good conversation going, and also get plenty of IOI's, but im afraid to escalate and i end up friend zoning myself. It's so bad that two weeks ago when i was flirting with a girl and i took her out on the dance floor, she was grinding on me, but i barely did anything about it. We flirted heavily afterward and we were about to finish the night and leave. She was going home with her girlfriend and i was going home to sleep. I said i want to give her a goodbye kiss. She looked at me funny and said, oh really. That's what i've wanted the whole night dummy, you're so slow.

And it ruins my game that i come off as too much "pussy" i wouldn't say nice guy since i do flirt with sexual intention and lots of teasing, but when it comes to physical escalation i hold so much back. It could be because i don't drink alcohol and i game sober that makes it harder or it's something internal weak about my game, i dont know.

Anyways, something similar happened again last weekend. I am flirting with a girl and she seems so much into me. Im a fool. We ended up just talking outside the club for an hour, vibing so well, but no physical escalation. I thought shit i lost her, after i woke up the next day, because girls lose interest if you dont act up on your words or man up. But we have been chatting more and she really seems interested in me.

Now she's out traveling to the US with her family so we haven't spoken in a week. I met her best friend yesterday, and she said hey i recognize you, you're the guy that my friend likes a lot. She keeps talking about you and says you're such a good guy. I just smile and say thanks. I ask her what else she said about me? She tells me that she thinks im really handsome and she would like to see me more when she's back from the US.

She also tells me this: but she's afraid you're just out for sex and only sex, because she's a good girl and she wants someone good as well, someone that can commit, not a fuckboy.

Now my question to you guys is, what steps do i have to do to get out of this stupid "90% verbal 10% physical" strategy that ruins my chances with girls. She already likes me and i dont want to fuck it up by not escalating and she will lose interest or think im a pussy. I want to escalate and kiss her that night. But what are the steps necessary.

What is good advice you have for my situation? What steps do i have to implement to start giving no fucks and touch girls more and be more physical?
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#2

How to escalate during a night out

You should be getting physical with the girl you're interested in as soon as possible. Find any excuse to get close and touch her in innocent ways, then gradually escalate. "Hey, did you see that bla bla bla thing over there?" and you gently touch her on the arm while pointing to the thing you're showing. In the beginning touch lightly and don't hold it long. Hit and run, you touch and you create a distance. Your touches will be getting more intimate and last longer as time goes by. If she hooks, you isolate. Crucial that you do that.

When going for the kiss, there are cases when it's easy and smooth, she wants it and she knows it, she will make it easy for you. In other cases you will have to put your balls on the line and go for it when it may seem a bit unexpected. I'm not saying to try to kiss her right after "Hello" but if you've isolated and been talking for a while, you should be looking for the chance to close.

As to not give any f*cks, it just comes with time.

If it won't matter in 30 years, it doesn't matter now.

My thoughts and memoirs: yourfriendtrent.wordpress.com
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#3

How to escalate during a night out

What do you call someone who is afraid of doing something that is not even scary?

Would you call that person a pussy?

What is scary? Fighting for your country? Risking your life? Is touching a woman as scary?

Are you being a pussy?

"Especially Roosh offers really good perspectives. But like MW said, at the end of the day, is he one of us?"

- Reciproke, posted on the Roosh V Forum.
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#4

How to escalate during a night out

RedPill i just feel disappointed in myself for not being able to show my true sexual intentions. Im neither a cuck or a beta and i can seduce, but cannot escalate or ever close. It feels like every single chance is wasted because of either some insecurity or some weak internal game. I honestly don't know what to do. I try to force it but it ends up coming off as fake confidence.
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#5

How to escalate during a night out

Just a few tips:

Have you heard the term "frame" or "frame control"?

It sounds like you are handsome/good looking which should automatically put a buzz in your head that "every girl wants you". Pretend your James Bond. Seriously, fucking do it. Pretend you are James Bond. Each and every girl that you find attractive, go up to them immediately (or within 60 seconds) and start talking. Anything.

If you are ever in a lull in a conversation, get out. Right away. The attitude should be "I'm bored, going to go find another girl or I might come back to this one".

Remember that you are the prize, and the girls are chasing you (indirectly and subversively of course).

Next time you are vibing with a girl, in the back of your mind start trying to get closer and closer to her. As someone else mentioned physical escalation is key as well (maybe you are telling a story and grab her arm to imitate something that happened to you). You should be finding any and every excuse to touch her (obviously within the realm of reason, nothing unnatural).

The trick is to not be a douche about it. My best friends girl once told me that girls find me attractive because I have a smile that says "I know I'm good looking" without me looking like a douche. Try to frame your attitude in that way.

In terms of the close, you never want it to happen after an awkward pause or during a stale part of the conversation (maybe with your good looks you can pull this off but it's more difficult). One thing I try to do is (when I know for sure she wants it). I will simply go for it. Not mash my face into hers, or grab her abruptly like a GI Joe coming home from war. But just as a guy who has finally made the decision of "She passsed, I will reward her now with a kiss", as if it's obvious and expected at that moment in time. I'll even use my hand to pull her hair back while simultaneously grabbing the back/side of her neck to let her know I'm going in for it. This is quick enough for her to have less time to think about it but also enough time for her to prepare for it and not have it be a miss/awkward smooch.

Remember that the game of seducing a girl you just met is rather slow, but always unfolding and progressing. It's like she's unwrapping a chocolate slowly, wondering if she should continue, hoping there is something delicious at the center/end of the unwrapping.

Guys with good looks' biggest mistake is the lack of congruence with their [attempted] confidence in my opinion. So you always have to have the attitude of being a bit aloof, but confident in your actions. Never hesitate, as you risk showing lack of certainty.

Hope this helps.
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#6

How to escalate during a night out

Why not focus on improving one thing at a time? Let's say escalation, basically touching a girl.

I still feel awkward doing it with new girls. It doesn't feel natural because I'm not the naturally touchy feely guy who touches basically everyone in the room. I had to force myself to do it until it became easier.

I've been on a date with a girl and not touched her and then lost my chance with her. I knew somehow I fucked up by not touching her at any point during the date, but I just didn't want to push myself out of my comfort zone and take a risk.

I rationalised it in my head as being a bad place to do it, or awkward or unnecessary or whatever.

Then I realised I was being a complete PUSSY.

I eventually manned up and said fuck it, I'm going to touch this girl without even a good reason and see what happens.

What is there to be afraid of? She might not like it? Slap me? Say I assaulted her? I don't give a fuck.

It's good if she backs off because then I know she's not interested, and if she does nothing I know she's interested. However I can't actually remember times when a girl has responded badly. I've walked up to girls I don't even know at a club who were blanking me and immediately put my arm around her waist and seen them warm up to me.

I say drink some liquid courage and go for it.

"Especially Roosh offers really good perspectives. But like MW said, at the end of the day, is he one of us?"

- Reciproke, posted on the Roosh V Forum.
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#7

How to escalate during a night out

I know many guys say give them a lot right away but there's a lot of different ways to do this. The goal is to build up sexual tension and bring the chick home. If you touch her, make out with her, etc too much then you don't give her and plausible deniability and discretion. When you finally rip the clothes off and have sex it should be a relief for the girl because of the sexual undertones and tension built up from the entire night.
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#8

How to escalate during a night out

My go-to first touch is to subtly place my full hand on her upper back, right above the bra clasp, as you are first leading her to her seat or maybe down a hallway/corridor/dancefloor/whatever. Gives her the sense that you are 'leading' her and in control, and gives you a quick initial opportunity to gauge her physical interest (which she has probably already decided). If receptive, second touch happens quickly & right below the bra strap in the center of the back.

Escalate from there.
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#9

How to escalate during a night out

Maybe these couple advice can help you:

1.first thing first. Always have a playful and teasing frame to make touching/kino less awkward and seem more natural in your conversations.

2. To make touching less awkward and easier, comment on something on her body or what she is wearing e.g talk about her nails and tattoos or tease her about her big ass earrings. While making a comment on these things, touch her simultaneously on said place or area
To place emphasis on your comment and increase comfortability between two of you
3. Starting touch as soon as possible.

4. Kiss her when you are feeling it but don’t kiss her out of fear

I live for my self and answer to nobody- the great Steve McQueen’s
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#10

How to escalate during a night out

This will help you, visually, to understand the dynamics of escalating, imposing yourself in her space without needing to say a word.

Mandatory for all newbies as this seems to be a recurring theme.




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#11

How to escalate during a night out

Quote: (09-06-2018 09:08 AM)Griprip08 Wrote:  

Pretend your James Bond. Seriously, fucking do it. Pretend you are James Bond. Each and every girl that you find attractive, go up to them immediately (or within 60 seconds) and start talking. Anything.

Remember that you are the prize, and the girls are chasing you (indirectly and subversively of course).

Next time you are vibing with a girl, in the back of your mind start trying to get closer and closer to her. As someone else mentioned physical escalation is key as well (maybe you are telling a story and grab her arm to imitate something that happened to you). You should be finding any and every excuse to touch her (obviously within the realm of reason, nothing unnatural).

Remember that the game of seducing a girl you just met is rather slow, but always unfolding and progressing. It's like she's unwrapping a chocolate slowly, wondering if she should continue, hoping there is something delicious at the center/end of the unwrapping.

This is gold. Thank you! Great advice. I like the chocolate analogy, it's spot on.

Quote: (09-06-2018 09:27 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

Why not focus on improving one thing at a time? Let's say escalation, basically touching a girl.

I still feel awkward doing it with new girls. It doesn't feel natural because I'm not the naturally touchy feely guy who touches basically everyone in the room. I had to force myself to do it until it became easier.

I've been on a date with a girl and not touched her and then lost my chance with her. I knew somehow I fucked up by not touching her at any point during the date, but I just didn't want to push myself out of my comfort zone and take a risk.

I rationalised it in my head as being a bad place to do it, or awkward or unnecessary or whatever.


Then I realised I was being a complete PUSSY.

I eventually manned up and said fuck it, I'm going to touch this girl without even a good reason and see what happens.

What is there to be afraid of? She might not like it? Slap me? Say I assaulted her? I don't give a fuck.

It's good if she backs off because then I know she's not interested, and if she does nothing I know she's interested. However I can't actually remember times when a girl has responded badly. I've walked up to girls I don't even know at a club who were blanking me and immediately put my arm around her waist and seen them warm up to me.

I say drink some liquid courage and go for it.

Wow what you described in the bold part is LITERALLY me. It's like we're the same. This is my exact struggles right now. I am not a touchy person at all and it seems forced to touch all the time, so i always wait for "that perfect moment" but it never comes. Because there is no perfect moment. You gotta create that moment with good game. It's nice reading that you've got ridden of that thought pattern we share. I think it's easier said than done, but definitely need to try your technique out. Say fuck it and put my self out there.

Quote: (09-03-2018 03:20 PM)Trent W. Wrote:  

In the beginning touch lightly and don't hold it long. Hit and run, you touch and you create a distance. Your touches will be getting more intimate and last longer as time goes by. If she hooks, you isolate. Crucial that you do that.

Golden advice. Very useful!

Quote: (09-03-2018 03:20 PM)Trent W. Wrote:  

As to not give any f*cks, it just comes with time.

Love this part. Well said.

@realogist true... sexual tension is a major factor. It can ease the touching part and make it more natural.
@tycotacos yeah i do the same, but the escalation part is what's lacking.

Quote: (09-08-2018 11:27 PM)Roswell87 Wrote:  

4. Kiss her when you are feeling it but don’t kiss her out of fear

This is actually excellent advice. Thank you.

Quote: (09-09-2018 06:34 AM)Noir Wrote:  

This will help you, visually, to understand the dynamics of escalating, imposing yourself in her space without needing to say a word.

Mandatory for all newbies as this seems to be a recurring theme.




I just finished watching this, i must say it's one of the best talks i've listened to. Visual examples is exactly what i am looking for and this guy nails it. Brilliant. This technique seems very interesting, need to give it a try on friday. It's perfect because i need to learn non verbal communication since all i've been doing is verbal and it hasn't been leading to much.
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#12

How to escalate during a night out

Guys thank you all for the help. I've met a girl during a festival and spoke to her for 10 minutes before we split, but i made sure to take down her number since we had a good vibe going on. I texted her and asked her out on a date. I just came back from the date just now and wanted to write this. I took your advice on forcing the touchy and escalating physically. I would sometime highfive her when we'd agree on the same thing and make up any small excuse to get physical with her and it worked. I slowly progressed up the touching like a ladder and in the end reached my hand out and she took it. We held hands on the way home, finally, we hugged bye and when she was about to leave i look at her like im not satisfied. She says alright just a small one then. First time i havent asked a girl for a kiss and gotten it. Felt good. Been forcing myself to do non-verbal communication and it has worked today. I was confident enough to progress the touching when i saw her reaction to it, always positive and she'd even sometimes hit me when i teased her or try to touch me randomly. The next time i will have to kiss her when it feels good, not just in the end, since it might kill the sexual tension, but im still learning.

This is huge progress for me.
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#13

How to escalate during a night out

Quote: (09-12-2018 09:47 AM)matt1996 Wrote:  

Guys thank you all for the help. I've met a girl during a festival and spoke to her for 10 minutes before we split, but i made sure to take down her number since we had a good vibe going on. I texted her and asked her out on a date. I just came back from the date just now and wanted to write this. I took your advice on forcing the touchy and escalating physically. I would sometime highfive her when we'd agree on the same thing and make up any small excuse to get physical with her and it worked. I slowly progressed up the touching like a ladder and in the end reached my hand out and she took it. We held hands on the way home, finally, we hugged bye and when she was about to leave i look at her like im not satisfied. She says alright just a small one then. First time i havent asked a girl for a kiss and gotten it. Felt good. Been forcing myself to do non-verbal communication and it has worked today. I was confident enough to progress the touching when i saw her reaction to it, always positive and she'd even sometimes hit me when i teased her or try to touch me randomly. The next time i will have to kiss her when it feels good, not just in the end, since it might kill the sexual tension, but im still learning.

This is huge progress for me.

[Image: 3SKL.gif]

If it won't matter in 30 years, it doesn't matter now.

My thoughts and memoirs: yourfriendtrent.wordpress.com
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