Hello gentlemen,

For me one of the biggest annoyance when dating a girl is when she's playing with her phone instead of giving me her attention. I hate it and you probably too.

Back in my early university life (5 years ago) I dated a beautiful and lovely girl. The problem, she was a true smartphone addict and almost looked as much time on the screen as on me. This made me very insecure. Questions like "am I not attractive / interesting enough" plagued me? In the end, I lost her.

There was another girl, who took pictures all the time during our first date at a sushi place and was chatting with her friends over WhatsApp. Why does this girl disrespect me that much? I got angry, paid the bill and left. Never saw her again.

After that date with the sushi girl I told myself "enough of that bullshit" and since then make it very clear to girls what I expect in terms of their smartphone usage. I want her not to look at all at her smartphone while we are doing something together. This what I want to share with you.

Basically as soon as the girl in question starts to play with her phone, I do the following dialogue (of course in slight variations). It doesn't matter if it's in a nightclub or during the first date in the park.

*She plays with her phone or holds it constantly in her hands*
Me: Are you awaiting an important call?
She: No
Me: So why are you holding your phone in your hands all the time?
She: I don't now / I have to text my friend / other answers
Me: Look, I would like to get to know you, but I'm not going to compete with your phone for your attention. Please put it away.

Usually this is enough to make her put the phone in her bag. Sometimes she will give you a shit test reaction. Then you proceed like this:

She: I just text with my best friend HoneyBunny.
Me: That's ok. As I said I want to get to know you. I also believe everyone can do whatever he wants as long as he can live with the consequences. Someone can cheat on his wife, but might break the marriage. I can rob a bank, but might go to jail. You can play right now with your phone, but I'm going to leave.

So far not a single girl refused to put her phone away after this. However, I would be dead serious to leave if she wouldn't. Obvious the above text is just an idea and can be variated.

Not only does this ensure that you will enjoy a nice conversation with her undisputed attention, it also gives some further nice benefits in the future. Because from now on, everytime she wants to use her smartphone in your presence, she will have to ask for permission.

She: That spaghetti ice cream is sooo delicious. Thank you for taking me here. I bet my friend HoneyBunny would be totally jealous. Please, can I take a picture and send it to her?
Me: Ok babe. This one time you are allowed.

You are in the driver seat and command. She has to ask for permission.

Let's say you are already in a LTR, but you are concerned with your girl's smartphone usage and want to do something about it. Fear not, it can be done!

Me: Babe, let's have a talk.
She: Yes?
Me: It's about your smartphone usage. I want you to stop using it when we are together.
She: Why?
Me: Look I enjoy spending time with you, but I don't want to compete with your smartphone for your attention. I don't feel good about it. Do you understand?
She: Oh, of course. I never thought about it that way.

If she still refuses to put her phone away while you are spending time together, even after you explained it to her in a confident way, your relationship is garbage.
a) she doesn't take you serious
b) you are not in command
c) she values her phone more than you
In this case you have no other option but to terminate the relationship.

This whole "command her to put the phone away"-thing only works if you aren't a smartphone addict yourself. You have to give a good example. For this there are a couple of things to take care off:
1. Turn off ALL notifications as well as sounds & vibrations, but calls
2. Don't play with your phone nor take stupid useless photos of every tree you see
3. In case you really need to do something on your phone say something like "Sorry babe, I have to have this very important call. It will just take 2 minutes." Be authentic and do just important things while with your girl, so she will do the same.

Many moons have passed since the days of the sushi girl, when I stomped out of the restaurant in anger. For me, telling her what I want and command her to put the phone away was and still is a total game changer. I hope this little datasheet helps some of you poor souls struggling with your girl's smartphone usage.

Not a bad post at all my friend.

Yes Sir, that's how it's done. Nice post.

I've kicked hoes out off first dates before when they are using their phones too much after I politely tell them not to. You aint ever seen such a baffled look on a hoes face then when you tell them the date is over.... clearly it was the first time for them having someone cancel mid date.

I'd rather go home and fap then to sit across from some disrespectful hoe playing on her phone in my presence.

Take the phone off her and make her ask permission to use it... it's a millenial disease, unfortunately.

Another one that does wonders: make her delete her instagram page.

Correct. That is the play. I give a girl 1 more chance after that and then I get up to leave with the full intent of leaving, drop a 10 or 20 on the table if we're out somewhere and gtfo. If she begs for you to stay you now have rock solid frame if she lets you leave you just saved yourself a bunch of time and heartache.

Do not put up with this bullshit.

Social media is a more addictive drug than heroin. Are we paddling upstream trying to fight this? Becoming an Instagram fuckboy could be a successful strategy but at the end of the day I want to game on MY TERMS. Fuck social media, it's pathetic.

As for girls that hit the phone around me...instant turnoff and see ya later moment. I'm 30 so I feel bad for the younger lads that have to deal with this more than me.

Quote: (07-21-2018 12:18 PM)semibaron Wrote:  

Sometimes she will give you a shit test reaction. Then you proceed like this:

She: I just text with my best friend HoneyBunny.
Me: That's ok. As I said I want to get to know you. I also believe everyone can do whatever he wants as long as he can live with the consequences. Someone can cheat on his wife, but might break the marriage. I can rob a bank, but might go to jail. You can play right now with your phone, but I'm going to leave.

Such an overreaction is definitely breaking frame, you just failed her shit test. There's a middle ground to dealing with rude behavior that doesn't expose your insecurity, your example is an extreme.

What kind of women are fucking around with their phones constantly on the first date? That would infuriate me. It seriously concerns me how addicted modern women are to their phones. Do they not even consider the consequences of their actions?

If guys are competing with women and their phones. Then I guess some guys have bigger problems to deal with the personally not to be boring. Guys need to stop being so petty and emotional is a start. Ding ding ding it's a fn shit test.

Heh, I doubt you guys actually talk to millenial americunts in a stern teachers/dad's voice and command them what to do on a first date and actually get anywhere with them. That might sound all alpha and manly in your head and to other people learning game, but in reality you will just come off as the lamest uncool socially awkward person around. It is simply not socially calibrated to tell someone you just met how to act in blunt terms, even in a place with more traditional gender roles, you would be laughed at. You have to be indirect.

I've never had a girl just pull out her phone and start doing shit on it in front of me unless I'm ignoring her or sleeping or something. If a girl got out her phone and started using it while I was talking, I would just stop talking, look at her funny and say "what's up?" or "what are you doing?". It would also be a clear sign she's not interested in what I'm saying or what's happening so I would also change the subject and/or get her to talk.

I'm not saying I'm always interesting. I have a lot of interests that many girls do not share so it's pretty likely that I will start boring a girl on a date if I talk too deeply about a subject she's not interested in, I'm just smart enough to realise when this is happening and change it back to something she can relate to.

I would never let myself be in a situation where I'm sat there not doing anything while she's on her phone. That's just way to boring to me and much too passive and weak to be around a woman. Doing anything else like walking off and hanging out with the bartender is better than sitting there doing nothing. If a girl is just texting on her phone on a date you have fundamental problems with your game and what you're doing on dates. You need to fix that deeper underlying problem, rather than trying to fix the symptoms (the girl playing with her phone)

Quote: (07-21-2018 02:41 PM)ShuaiGe Wrote:  

Quote: (07-21-2018 12:18 PM)semibaron Wrote:  

Sometimes she will give you a shit test reaction. Then you proceed like this:

She: I just text with my best friend HoneyBunny.
Me: That's ok. As I said I want to get to know you. I also believe everyone can do whatever he wants as long as he can live with the consequences. Someone can cheat on his wife, but might break the marriage. I can rob a bank, but might go to jail. You can play right now with your phone, but I'm going to leave.

Such an overreaction is definitely breaking frame, you just failed her shit test. There's a middle ground to dealing with rude behavior that doesn't expose your insecurity, your example is an extreme.

It doesn't just break frame, it also strongly shows your interest in her: "As I said I want to get to know you". I don't know why people in this community use phrases like that. What is the point in saying it? You may as well say "I would like you to be my girlfriend." It's lame as fuck.

Game is most likely purely theoretical for him. No one talks like this in real life except for spergers and autists. Or people who are average in intelligence but try to convince others they are smart by using five sentences when they could use one.

If you ever see a guy like this talking in a club, you can actually see the repellent effect it has on women. Girls start to keep their distance as if he's a homeless guy with a bad smell.

Quote: (07-21-2018 04:51 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

Heh, I doubt you guys actually talk to millenial americunts in a stern teachers/dad's voice and command them what to do on a first date and actually get anywhere with them. That might sound all alpha and manly in your head and to other people learning game, but in reality you will just come off as the lamest uncool socially awkward person around. It is simply not socially calibrated to tell someone you just met how to act in blunt terms, even in a place with more traditional gender roles, you would be laughed at. You have to be indirect.

I've never had a girl just pull out her phone and start doing shit on it in front of me unless I'm ignoring her or sleeping or something. If a girl got out her phone and started using it while I was talking, I would just stop talking, look at her funny and say "what's up?" or "what are you doing?". It would also be a clear sign she's not interested in what I'm saying or what's happening so I would also change the subject and/or get her to talk.

I'm not saying I'm always interesting. I have a lot of interests that many girls do not share so it's pretty likely that I will start boring a girl on a date if I talk too deeply about a subject she's not interested in, I'm just smart enough to realise when this is happening and change it back to something she can relate to.

I would never let myself be in a situation where I'm sat there not doing anything while she's on her phone. That's just way to boring to me and much too passive and weak to be around a woman. Doing anything else like walking off and hanging out with the bartender is better than sitting there doing nothing. If a girl is just texting on her phone on a date you have fundamental problems with your game and what you're doing on dates. You need to fix that deeper underlying problem, rather than trying to fix the symptoms (the girl playing with her phone)

Yeah I have no idea why everyone thought that was so alpha, of course someone shouldn't be using their phone to much on a date but speaking like that would also make you come off just as bad. If she is using her phone she is either uninterested in you or if she's doing it out of nowhere just neg her in some way but not to serious.

I am in agreement with both the paths on the thread.

Path One OP- command the chick to put the phone away. Depending on the chick, and the delivery this could get her wet. Plus sometimes you might have to do this, as millennials have zero phone etiquette and can be very obsessed. What I like about the OP is his thought process that he would actually walk, if you do get yourself into this situation, best to just know to tell the girl shes a loser and walk off. Without pre meditatively thinking about this, we would tend to just wait. I got into it once with a girl who legitimately was addicted to her phone, she wanted to tape the night and take pictures of herself, so I just told her I wasn't feeling it and she was addicted to her phone and left ( we were out at a bar). It was a whack tinder meetup, so not a hot chick that I wanted so I was happy to go. She was still texting me the next day wanting to hang out, she literally thought having her phone out ALL the time was normal. Maybe she was retarded.

Path Two Rotinz/RedPill UK- if she is pulling her phone out, you are probably not presenting as an alpha. Take this into account, your game might just be lacking. Play it in a lighter way - like Red Pill UK shows, make fun of her a little. I'd like to add that seeming like you need her constant attention comes off bad. Plus using this approach, you don't come off like you need to control her and are from the old generation.

Or how about this, pick up your phone and send her a text with something basic that will shake her out of it....not sure what, maybe just "nice tits", "can you go to the bar and get me a beer", "I heard your date has a big dick" I think something like that could work.

My game is so tight that women simply do not use their phones when they are with me on a first, second or third date.

Quote: (07-21-2018 08:12 PM)Suits Wrote:  

My game is so tight that women simply do not use their phones when they are with me on a first, second or third date.

Quote: (07-21-2018 08:12 PM)Suits Wrote:  

My game is so tight that women simply do not use their phones when they are with me on a first, second or third date.

Dude, great input thanks a bunch.

Quote: (07-21-2018 08:17 PM)dsutmdo Wrote:  

Quote: (07-21-2018 08:12 PM)Suits Wrote:  

My game is so tight that women simply do not use their phones when they are with me on a first, second or third date.

Dude, great input thanks a bunch.

Take it easy champ. You barely just got here.

I kicked a girl out of my apartment once after she kept on her phone after I had told her not to. It was like the strength had been sapped out of her as she stood up and walked to the door to leave. She lingered at the door speechless looking at me. I was sitting on the couch channel surfing with my feet propped on the coffee table. I could see her looking at me with my peripheral vision. She weakly mumbled something and left.

Nowadays, if a girl's doing it, I start off with a non butt-hurt, humorous approach. I'll say "No, don't worry...no one is texting you. no one cares about you." in a consoling, slightly mocking way.

Often they get the humor and giggle at this and put their phone away. If this doesn't work, I may grab their phone, slowly, and set it face down or just tell them directly.

I go both ways on this. It can be really annoying earlier on when you are just starting to get to know each other, and I've often called it out.

That said, I find when I'm in a longer relationship with a girl, it's nice to just let her have her "toy" to play with. This makes it much easier for me to lean back and read books on my Kindle, shoot the shit with my buddies when they come along with us, or, hell, even catch up on RVF posts. This makes it so I don't constantly have to entertain or engage her.

All that being said, I'm usually working with a language gap, so the conversations aren't all that enticing to begin with.

I just take her phone away. I've almost never had a girl react to this move with anything other than embarrassment since they realize they're being stupid by ignoring a cool guy like me.

My girl brought this up to me the other day. She said something like "I remember when we first met and we were hanging out and you took my phone from me when I was on it too much. I actually respected you a lot more after you did that. I was being rude."

Props to Kaotic for giving me that idea. I think he was the first poster to suggest you could just take a girl's phone playfully and make her respect you.

I feel like the guys saying "girls only pull phones out on a date if you are boring" aren't going on the same amount of dates with young girls all around the world as some us are.

Glancing over the thread its low post noobs claiming this...

Quote: (07-22-2018 08:32 AM)Cr33pin Wrote:  

I feel like the guys saying "girls only pull phones out on a date if you are boring" aren't going on the same amount of dates with young girls all around the world as some us are.

Glancing over the thread its low post noobs claiming this...

Low post Noob here -depends on the context I'd say:
>> There is a difference between checking her phone and having a text conversation on her phone vs. just checking her messages.
>> There is a difference when you are having a conversation and she interrupts you because someone pings her, and if you are for example driving somewhere and she wants to play on her phone.

I've been out with lots of girls under 25 and they generally are not pulling their phone out too much. Bottom line is - you don't want a phone addict, she is collecting her insta likes and can't enjoy the moment.

I always assume "not-guilty until proven otherwise". So a girl who plays with her phone in my presence does so because all her peers do the same. For her it's totally normal as nobody ever told her that's rude behaviour. For example during my recent Lima trip I met a cute 19y old Venezuelana in a nightclub. Things were on fire from the first moment and 90 minutes later we were on a taxi back home. Even she, who was dancing dirty with me, had her phone in the hands all the time until I told her. It's just that those girls aren't aware of their own actions.

Quote: (07-21-2018 04:51 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

Heh, I doubt you guys actually talk to millenial americunts in a stern teachers/dad's voice and command them what to do on a first date and actually get anywhere with them. That might sound all alpha and manly in your head and to other people learning game, but in reality you will just come off as the lamest uncool socially awkward person around. It is simply not socially calibrated to tell someone you just met how to act in blunt terms, even in a place with more traditional gender roles, you would be laughed at. You have to be indirect.

I don't know about the Anglosphere, never really been there. Dantes and a couple of other forum members I met all told me that game there is different. However, I can confirm that the direct method works in Colombia, Peru, Brasil and Austria. Probably also in Japan, but those chicks are so polite that I'm the rude person at the table.

It probably also depends on how you bring the message across. Doing it in a grand-daddy fashion won't do any good, true.

Quote: (07-22-2018 04:19 AM)Fortis Wrote:  

I just take her phone away. I've almost never had a girl react to this move with anything other than embarrassment since they realize they're being stupid by ignoring a cool guy like me.

My girl brought this up to me the other day. She said something like "I remember when we first met and we were hanging out and you took my phone from me when I was on it too much. I actually respected you a lot more after you did that. I was being rude."

Props to Kaotic for giving me that idea. I think he was the first poster to suggest you could just take a girl's phone playfully and make her respect you.

I like this a lot. One shouldn't interpret my OP as a standard formula that you memorize and then repeat. It's an idea how to do it and depending on the situation use words or physical actions. The message, however, is the same: "stop using your fucking phone".