A little background story: I was meeting this girl for about 7 months. I'm 34 she is 25. She asked me about my age few times but I treated it as a shit test and joked that I'm much older. So at some point she thought she knew the answer and said that I'm 28 (many chicks says that. I'm not sure whether I look younger or it's just wishful thinking in their age group). About 3 weeks ago. She took my driving license from my cabinet when I was in bathroom and saw that I'm 34. She was shocked. Next time we saw 2 weeks ago she looked bad and after a while she said that I'm too old and she would never go out with me if she knew. Then she said that we probably have different plans for live because of age gap (of course I never spoke about my plans and she neither -- she spoke very little about herself but ask a shit-ton of questions, which annoyed me). I told her that if she don't want to meet with me there was the door. She mentioned my age few times more so I said that there was the door few more times or joked about it. So at some point she decided to go to the door (not after me mentioning it). Stayed at the door and looked as if she waited for something. I don't like hanging at the door and I wasn't gonna try to convince her to stay because I thought she only wanted that it looks romantic. So she went.


I didn't contact her for two weeks. And now comes the interesting part.

She messages me after two weeks:

So I was right. You don't care about me. You let me go with easily that I can only envy you.


At that moment I think that she probably misses me but I see that she accuses me about break up. So I reminds her whose decision it was:

You forget very fast about what you say and what you do.

She replies:

Since when do you listen to me so well and do what I say. Maybe I counted that you try to stop me bu I see, that for you It doesn't make a difference whether I'm with you or not.

So I'm thinking that she tries to convince me that break up is my fault because I didn't stop her and that she only wanted to see whether I care about her. But really I'm thinking that she met some guy and now he probably pumped her and dumped or It didn't work out with new guy so she tries to get with me out of the desperation. I was meeting some new girl but not yet sleeping with her so I could use some fucks. I don't want to behave desperated and accept blame and also I want her to know that I don't believe in her story:

It was your decision and you know that the situation was not as you now depict it. Additionally you expect some declarations of love in exchange for you behavior.


She:

You are right. It was my decision but you probably could see that I have doubts and if you said something different instead of saying "there is the door" then situation would be different. How can I know what you think if you don't tell me. You let me go with such an ease so probably you didn't care about me. Probably we both are two proud to say some things but proud people dies first so probably it had to be like this. I'm sorry that I messaged you and belabor you, probably I shouldn't.


So now it's very dramatic. She accuses me of not talking about my thoughts (feelings?) and that's we she broke up with me. She is hypocrite because she never told me what she thinks/feels neither. She was for whole duration of relationship very emotionally distant and never told a lot about her self. I also think that she tries to bait me trying to imply that she cares about me. I don't buy it again but at the same time I think she wants to meet with me. I don't want to be a sucker and propose meeting so I'm steering the conversation so she will ask me out.

Somehow I don't buy it. Do you write to shift blame on me, or is it something different?

She:

What do you think?

Me:

You tell me

She:

Tom, I think I was really clear. I write you because I wanted to see your reaction. I wanted to see if I was important to you and if you care about me. But I see, that nothing has changed and you don't appreciate this at all so we don't have anything to talk more.


So I think this message show what she really though at least partially. She was most arrogant in this message. She told me that I have to appreciate something -- but what should I appreciate? Her arrogant blame shifting messages? That she was so good to me and send me these laughable messages? I really wanted to laugh at her few messages back but I know it would only lead to her further aggression so I did not. In this messages she still tries to convince me that she wanted to see that I care and that it's my fault.

I have two thoughts:
1. I won't tell here that I care because she didn't earn it in exchange for her breaking up (That is arrogant to think like this). I try to suggest it that she won't get anything good for bad behavior. I think that if she really cares she will find the way to ask me out.

2. My second thought is that she tries to get my love declarations to boost her ego and make sucker of me. I think that her last message confirms that. Instead of her arranging the meeting she tries even harder to convience me it's my fault. She's even so arrogant to say that I such appreciate something (whatever she thinks I should appreciate).

I'm quite curious about this situation and I wonder how plausible is my interpretation. Maybe you interpret whole situation differently and after all I could salvage the situation.

"Cool"

You're already texting her way too long and way too detailed messages. When she gets all pissy with that response either ghost her or if you want her back say let's get together in person so we can really talk this out.

She has totally dragged you into some drama and making you hamster away. Do you want or need to deal with this rubbish?

Let me get to the basics first.

You said you were "meeting" her for 7 months. Have you been fucking her? how often? Her place or yours? etc. That influence a lot the nature of the relationship.

OP's name, as in every thread he starts, is accurate

Quote: (07-04-2018 07:33 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

Let me get to the basics first.

You said you were "meeting" her for 7 months. Have you been fucking her? how often? Her place or yours? etc. That influence a lot the nature of the relationship.

I was fucking her on regular basis. Mostly my place. One or two times at hers -- she has flat mates so it was more convenient at my place.

Quote: (07-04-2018 06:16 AM)JackinMelbourne Wrote:  

She has totally dragged you into some drama and making you hamster away. Do you want or need to deal with this rubbish?

It was more of a need. I met some new girl but in dark club she looked more pretty. After meeting her on date I found that she is very poor kisser and not pretty enough. So currently I could use some pussy.

She looks unstable , which is not a surprise for a modern woman.
The best would be to not get involved into such stuff. Invite her at home to discuss eyes in the eyes but don't let her moan like this.
Additionally , she seems to be only wanting attention from you and doesn't seem to understand that you are a human and not a machine made to make compliments to her.


Try to talk to her another last time and if she still behaves strange then dump her. that 's my advice.

Why do you even engage in this type of conversation? And why do you care so much? Get out there and build a harem and you won't become so emotionally attached to the girls you are engaging with. You couldn't possibly be interested in having a relationship with someone 10 years older than yourself anyway?

You lost me a third of the way through your message, at about the point you let yourself get caught up in a "logical" discussion with her...

You're buying way too much into her game and getting sucked into a negative conversation with an emotional person based on the principles of a man. Mistake. When she contacted you again, she obviously wanted to respark your interest.

Cryptic text out of the blue:

Quote:Quote:

So I was right. You don't care about me. You let me go with easily that I can only envy you.

Instead of pettily "reminding her whose decision it was" when she's already reaching out to show you she still cares like you did here:

Quote:Quote:

You forget very fast about what you say and what you do.

You should have just texted something like:

"Stop being silly and come see me."

Or: "C'mon, you're being silly. What are you doing right now."

I'm sure you can come up with something more playful, but you get the point.

Same thing with the discussions about your age that you let her drag you into in the first place. Don't buy into her nonsense - she's probably only shit testing you anyways. Poke fun at her concern and change the subject.

Or agree and amplify. Then grab a chunk of her ass and pull her in for a kiss (depending on how far along you are at that point, obviously).

Letting her drag you into this on and on discussion about something that only makes you look worse is no way to lead her.

When she said the following, she spelled out her intentions perfectly:

Quote:Quote:

I write you because I wanted to see your reaction. I wanted to see if I was important to you and if you care about me.

Exactly. She was obviously reaching out to because she "wanted to see your reaction." More specifically, she wanted to break the ice and get your attention, to find out you still want her, to give you an excuse to skillfully lure her back into your world.

Women who are "so over you" and ready to move on don't send some emotional text to let you know they know you don't care about them. They just ghost.

C'mon now - this should be super obvious, right?

But...you took all the mystery and fun out of it by forcing her to say it and spell it out.

By acknowledging her nonsense text...instead of brushing past it, ignoring its implications, and forging on for the seduction...you spoiled the moment and broke the flow of the situation. Not a good recipe for attraction.

Bottom line: stop interacting so logically with these broads. Just because you see their games doesn't mean you need to play along - seeing if you will or not is largely the test.

This was a shit test. She was looking for a man's response and you gave her a boy's. Beyond Borders is right. You could have just diffused the situation with a lighter, less analytical and logical response.


I came up with the following "dread text" a few years ago and have used it several times when shit tests come via text. It's not going to work in this case but maybe next time she or another girl starts to fade (or test) via text

Girl-"Hey I'm really not sure I want to do this anymore...blaha blah"

PT- "Message 401: The ATT subscriber you are trying to reach has changed his settings and is no longer receiving your messages"

Girl "Haha"

(I had cut and pasted the above so it was instant response)

PT- "Message 401: The ATT subscriber you are trying to reach has changed his settings and is no longer receiving your messages"

Girl- "seriously?"

PT- "Message 401: The ATT subscriber you are trying to reach has changed his settings and is no longer receiving your messages"

[i]Two days later after radio silence

Girl-"PT are you still blocking me?"

PT- "Message 401: The ATT subscriber you are trying to reach has changed his settings and is no longer receiving your drama"

Girl- "Im sorry, I was having a bad day"

PT- "Come over here and prove it"

Game on...

^ Brilliant.

PapayaTapper