I would say you must be losing some of the interested girls with this method. If one does not escalate enough in the first date when women are interested, one usually never sees them again. Do you think this happens to you, or you overcome this with your strong attraction/comfort game?

I totally empathize with you for being extremely careful with the "rape claim" given that you are a lawyer. If I have to chose between losing my license with an improbable rape claim and losing some girls due to not escalating, I would choose the latter. It is always good to read different methods.

Thanks for posting this Hank.

I typically am more in the get as far as you can each time (without being Ansari) camp, which includes some first-date bangs where the logistics allow for it.

But there is a lot of good advice here that's actionable and isn't dependent on following the three-date structure. The nostalgic movie/music suggestion when getting near the close in particular was something I hadn't thought of - great idea and I will use this.

As for the structure, it seems prime to me for finding LTRs.

Quote: (01-15-2018 08:58 PM)Denzel Wrote:  

I would say you must be losing some of the interested girls with this method. If one does not escalate enough in the first date when women are interested, one usually never sees them again. Do you think this happens to you, or you overcome this with your strong attraction/comfort game?

I have the exact same question here, though.

To me, for a first date to be successful it needs to end with a kiss. Now I can see why you differ here, given the very quick and informal nature of your ideal first date, but I feel like I'd rather go a little more in depth on the first date and get the kiss, rather than not try for it at all.

It's no surprise that girls who stick around for all three dates and give you the bang on the third are going to be good success stories. What I'm most curious about is what Denzel brought up - flaking after the first date happens to us all regardless if we kiss the girl or not, which makes this tough to quantify, but I'm curious how many you are able to convert from 1st to 2nd without the kiss, strictly by building rapport and comfort.

Are you converting with relative ease?
Or do you have a lot of flakes, but are willing to deal with it, given your need to only have girls that you really like (i.e. those that play by your structure) around?

Hank,

Not to be a dick, but you citing your height as a reason for not pulling first date lays sounds like a limiting belief.

I had a filipino friend who was even shorter than you and he banged every girl in sight. Not even on first dates. In the park. Bar bathroom. Back of the car. You name it. He had this presence where girls would get sucked in like cosmic shit spiraling into a black hole. To this day I cannot explain how he did it, so I can’t be of much help (sorry bro). Just pointing out what is possible that you feel isn’t.

If you like three dates, that’s fine, but don’t use your height as an excuse.

Quote: (01-16-2018 12:08 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Hank,

Not to be a dick, but you citing your height as a reason for not pulling first date lays sounds like a limiting belief.

I had a filipino friend who was even shorter than you and he banged every girl in sight. Not even on first dates. In the park. Bar bathroom. Back of the car. You name it. He had this presence where girls would get sucked in like cosmic shit spiraling into a black hole. To this day I cannot explain how he did it, so I can’t be of much help (sorry bro). Just pointing out what is possible that you feel isn’t.

If you like three dates, that’s fine, but don’t use your height as an excuse.

What's funny is I'm currently dating a girl who is 5'6. A little bit taller than me. Pretty hot.

I just can't pull off one date game.

You can do it Hank!!!! Hang in there. This is a mental barrier; nothing more. The force is strong with you, my friend.

A few thoughts

1) Hank has converted practically every girl he banged with this method into a plate. Truly believe plates are a better indicator of game than notches.

2) Why are people having a hard time believing that perhaps Hank just ENJOYS this method? And that going on 3 dates doesn’t have to run you an absurd amount of additional dollars?

I’m going to be continuing to go for the first date bang, mostly because my goal until 30 is just notch building. But I appreciate this post for its sentiments. We all have different goals from game.

3) Agree 100% on avoiding the sexual assault angle. If even one chick throws a whiff of that you CAN be disbarred. That easy bang won’t be worth it then.

Quote: (01-16-2018 05:54 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

But lets stop it here, I’m deathly afraid Hank would end up like NASA test pilot…

Eaten by a shark in his early morning Ocean swim?

Quote: (01-16-2018 03:55 AM)MaceTyrell Wrote:  

A few thoughts

1) Hank has converted practically every girl he banged with this method into a plate. Truly believe plates are a better indicator of game than notches.

2) Why are people having a hard time believing that perhaps Hank just ENJOYS this method? And that going on 3 dates doesn’t have to run you an absurd amount of additional dollars?

I’m going to be continuing to go for the first date bang, mostly because my goal until 30 is just notch building. But I appreciate this post for its sentiments. We all have different goals from game.

3) Agree 100% on avoiding the sexual assault angle. If even one chick throws a whiff of that you CAN be disbarred. That easy bang won’t be worth it then.

Nobody is criticizing Hank for liking what he does. People are just saying he’s doing it for the wrong reasons. Specifically, people are saying putting in all that energy just because of the reasons below, is both self-limiting and inefficient.

1)FRA is real, but it’s way hyped up vs reality. Granted I don’t have that problem in France so I don’t know how bad it is, but none of the member with game on this site ever have a problem with it, and Hank being a repped member is very unlikely

2)His physique. I’m a 5”4 and Asian to boot. And I only pull cute white girls with several first date bang. Granted I’m buffed and a sexy mofo but I don’t believe for one single moment that Hank is doing this, even partly, because he believes his physique wouldn’t work for him.

If people read Hank’s writing, he’s a cheeky mofo with a big mouth and a superiority attitude. I’m that way too and you would never be able to convince me that my physique will hold me back. I just find it hard that someone like Hank could possibly even have that thought in his mind.

Plus he's a lawyer. I work a 9-6 and I barely have time to see my girlfriend. How the fuck does Hank find time for all this shit, especially since he said he has a fascinating life outside of girls?

Regarding the plate vs notch, false ditchotomy. Hank like to plate girls and that’s fine for him. Some people just like to hit it once and hop, doesn’t mean he can’t convert when and if he wants to. It’s 2017 people, buyer’s remorse is no longer a thing.

But lets stop it here, I’m deathly afraid Hank would end up like NASA test pilot…

This is the thing. I like going to plays, eating at new restaurants, dining out, hiking, kayaking, etc. These are generally activities that I don't do with my male friends (we go to strip clubs, hunt, fish, offroad, go to bars, cigar shops, etc.).

Since I'm going to be doing this stuff anyway, might as well do it with a plate. I like being seen around town with hot women, too.

I'm not big into rushing the bang. There's no need. It's going to happen. Why push the issue? I'd rather enjoy myself for a bit, and figure out whether this is a person worth letting into my life.

The biggest game mistake I have made is letting the wrong women into my life too quickly.

For getting plates I can see the logic with this method and maybe I will try. But height is not an excuse for not banging on the first date or even before. I'm about as short as you and I have banged girls on the first meet more often than not. Have also fucked in bars, gotten blowjobs on a bus stop etc.
Maybe some girls won't fuck short guys, that doesn't mean that some other girls can't feel raw sexual attraction right off the bat towards shorter guys

Quote: (01-16-2018 11:13 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

This is the thing. I like going to plays, eating at new restaurants, dining out, hiking, kayaking, etc. These are generally activities that I don't do with my male friends (we go to strip clubs, hunt, fish, offroad, go to bars, cigar shops, etc.).

Since I'm going to be doing this stuff anyway, might as well do it with a plate. I like being seen around town with hot women, too.

I'm not big into rushing the bang. There's no need. It's going to happen. Why push the issue? I'd rather enjoy myself for a bit, and figure out whether this is a person worth letting into my life.

The biggest game mistake I have made is letting the wrong women into my life too quickly.

Sorry for insisting....but again, what does a bang on a 1st, 2nd or 3d date have to do with being a forced bang?

Bangs happen naturally, at least that is the case with me, and I am also slightly taller than you and a not a particularly good looking mofo.

Quote: (01-16-2018 11:13 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

This is the thing. I like going to plays, eating at new restaurants, dining out, hiking, kayaking, etc. These are generally activities that I don't do with my male friends (we go to strip clubs, hunt, fish, offroad, go to bars, cigar shops, etc.).

Since I'm going to be doing this stuff anyway, might as well do it with a plate. I like being seen around town with hot women, too.

I'm not big into rushing the bang. There's no need. It's going to happen. Why push the issue? I'd rather enjoy myself for a bit, and figure out whether this is a person worth letting into my life.

The biggest game mistake I have made is letting the wrong women into my life too quickly.

This x100. As I mentioned in an earlier post, being super relaxed and casual about the bang when you are a high value man drives decent girls wild for you. I get a kick out of it.

Quote: (01-16-2018 01:23 PM)Rocha Wrote:  

Bangs happen naturally,

Yep, I agree. I sincerely believe a woman knows if she will fuck you within the first five minutes or so of meeting you. So you either: snuff that desire out with each passing minute, or add to that desire. The old adage "Don't fuck it up".

Hank, I love your posts and you're a good writer. But I've noticed in a lot of your recent posts you mention your height and how it can be a hindrance to your game. Man...you have to perish that thought. If you're letting that bother you with your posts here, then it may be coming out when you meet these girls for the first time. And these women can smell even the slightest hint of insecurity.

I guarantee you that 90% of these women would be sucking you off in that bathroom stall within the first hour of meeting them. Chad Thundercock or not. And I truly believe that.

1st date bang is just not practical if you have a real life job where a girl can easily claim x and find you fairly easily ESP if you are known to have some kind of $.

The biggest risks of modern life are
1) drugs
2) women
3) gambling

There is no award for being stupid and sticking your dick in crazy.

There is no award for banging lots of girls.

Myself personally, I like having a main girl, side girls and a rotating cast of one-offs.

I wouldnt have time to run high volume- churn and burn style game w/1 date bangs.

Quote: (01-16-2018 02:03 PM)Vill@in Wrote:  

Quote: (01-16-2018 01:23 PM)Rocha Wrote:  

Bangs happen naturally,

Yep, I agree. I sincerely believe a woman knows if she will fuck you within the first five minutes or so of meeting you. So you either: snuff that desire out with each passing minute, or add to that desire. The old adage "Don't fuck it up".

Hank, I love your posts and you're a good writer. But I've noticed in a lot of your recent posts you mention your height and how it can be a hindrance to your game. Man...you have to perish that thought. If you're letting that bother you with your posts here, then it may be coming out when you meet these girls for the first time. And these women can smell even the slightest hint of insecurity.

I guarantee you that 90% of these women would be sucking you off in that bathroom stall within the first hour of meeting them. Chad Thundercock or not. And I truly believe that.

My height has never been a huge hindrance in real life, but I try and be realistic about what I post.

Some of my tall friends with tattoos pull the craziest shit. We'll be at a bar, talking business, and women will straight up approach them. "Ohhh, can I feel your beard? I love your ink! You're so taaalllll!"

Never happens to me. I'm always doing the initial approach. I can't just walk into a bar and have women come up to me. It is what it is.

The game I've developed is suited to my personality. I have a very loud mouth and big attitude. Believe it or not, women tend to describe me as "very masculine." I like to fish, camp, hunt, cook, build stuff, drive a truck, and listen to country music. I'll often describe stuff I don't like as for "women and children." I follow very traditional gender roles and exercise excellent table manners. (i.e., opening the door, tipping well, being kind to servers, and basically conducting myself like an aristocratic playboy). I conduct myself like I'm 6'4 and from the family of wealthy aristocrats. I'm better than everyone else without saying it.

At the same time, I aim to build comfort. They like coming to my house, ordering dinner, and watching 90s movies. If they choose to engage me, they know I'm always up for an intellectual or deep discussion, and that I'll have the discussion with respect and thoughtfulness. I ask a lot of questions.

My game is to invest in girls that I like initially and blow their socks off. From there, it makes my life easy. I can literally text them to "come over and eat pizza."

Last night a plate came over and gave me about 5 blowjobs. I was joking around with her that she must love giving blowjobs. She responded along the lines of "I normally don't, but for some reason, I like giving them to you. Most guys are weird about it."

I think it's a matter of balancing masculinity with comfort.

Quote: (01-18-2018 09:34 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Quote: (01-16-2018 02:03 PM)Vill@in Wrote:  

Quote: (01-16-2018 01:23 PM)Rocha Wrote:  

Bangs happen naturally,

Yep, I agree. I sincerely believe a woman knows if she will fuck you within the first five minutes or so of meeting you. So you either: snuff that desire out with each passing minute, or add to that desire. The old adage "Don't fuck it up".

Hank, I love your posts and you're a good writer. But I've noticed in a lot of your recent posts you mention your height and how it can be a hindrance to your game. Man...you have to perish that thought. If you're letting that bother you with your posts here, then it may be coming out when you meet these girls for the first time. And these women can smell even the slightest hint of insecurity.

I guarantee you that 90% of these women would be sucking you off in that bathroom stall within the first hour of meeting them. Chad Thundercock or not. And I truly believe that.

My height has never been a huge hindrance in real life, but I try and be realistic about what I post.

...

I think it's a matter of balancing masculinity with comfort.

The best game you can run as a shorter guy is to be comfortable with yourself.

I think guys should understand a few different strategies and use the strategy that they believe will work best for a specific girl. Talking about game on the Internet seems to go down the path of black and white thinking where one strategy is always the best strategy but that isn't how the real world usually works.

I doubt that zero date bangs are going to work well for many guys who aren't very attractive or at least have an x-factor and solid game.

I doubt that a one date bang is going to work for a 30 year old career girl who would feel like a slut if she banged on the first date although she might want to bang you every day after you wait 2 or 3 dates for her.

I doubt that BD's two date strategy would work well with a girl who is a full-time student and has a full-time job. She has only one night per week to do anything. She probably wants to get banged that night or at least spend a few hours with you so she knows that she will bang you on her one night off next week.

I doubt Hank's three date strategy is going to work well with young girls, latinas, and especially young latinas. You will drive yourself mad trying to get flaky 20 year old latinas to actually show up three times and she might think you are a pussy for not trying to bang her by the second date.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't read about these strategies. You should actually read about and understand all of those strategies but there is a lot more improvising in game than you might realize from reading about theories. The black and white rules and one size fits all strategies can be helpful as a framework but you usually can't implement that stuff in the real world. Most of the time you are going to be improvising.

My strategy is to live in a cool part of town with plenty of coffee shops, bars, restaurants, etc. Try to get the girl to come to you. If she won't then consider meeting her somewhere in between her and you for the first date but don't go all the way to her. Everything else has a way of taking care of itself if your game is based on understanding women rather than trying to apply too much logic to illogical creatures. Stop trying to define everything and make rules for everything. Meet the girl, let her talk, understand what she is about, and then go for something that is relatively close to what both of you want.

That's solid advice

Quote: (01-18-2018 02:06 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

I think guys should understand a few different strategies and use the strategy that they believe will work best for a specific girl. Talking about game on the Internet seems to go down the path of black and white thinking where one strategy is always the best strategy but that isn't how the real world usually works.

I doubt that zero date bangs are going to work well for many guys who aren't very attractive or at least have an x-factor and solid game.

I doubt that a one date bang is going to work for a 30 year old career girl who would feel like a slut if she banged on the first date although she might want to bang you every day after you wait 2 or 3 dates for her.

I doubt that BD's two date strategy would work well with a girl who is a full-time student and has a full-time job. She has only one night per week to do anything. She probably wants to get banged that night or at least spend a few hours with you so she knows that she will bang you on her one night off next week.

I doubt Hank's three date strategy is going to work well with young girls, latinas, and especially young latinas. You will drive yourself mad trying to get flaky 20 year old latinas to actually show up three times and she might think you are a pussy for not trying to bang her by the second date.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't read about these strategies. You should actually read about and understand all of those strategies but there is a lot more improvising in game than you might realize from reading about theories. The black and white rules and one size fits all strategies can be helpful as a framework but you usually can't implement that stuff in the real world. Most of the time you are going to be improvising.

My strategy is to live in a cool part of town with plenty of coffee shops, bars, restaurants, etc. Try to get the girl to come to you. If she won't then consider meeting her somewhere in between her and you for the first date but don't go all the way to her. Everything else has a way of taking care of itself if your game is based on understanding women rather than trying to apply too much logic to illogical creatures. Stop trying to define everything and make rules for everything. Meet the girl, let her talk, understand what she is about, and then go for something that is relatively close to what both of you want.

Love it! That's why this forum is great, there are threads for literally every type of game. Guys just need to pick and choose based on what works for them.

Hank,

Do you still rock the boot inserts making you around 5'8? While still not tall you can pass as average and not so quickly to be put in the short guy zone.

I'm 5'5 as well and I get frustrated sometimes. I'm working on my inner game. Confidence is everything.

Walk around with unwavering confidence. Ooze that shit. The hard part is having it come natural without coming off as try hard or arrogant.

I'm 6' tall and I'm still working on my inner game. It's tight but could always be better. I've blown chances with the 2 hottest girls I've met the last 5 years because I either doubted myself or decided to try something new on the spur of the moment rather than be my awesome self.

Yes, confidence is everything.

Quote: (01-18-2018 09:34 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Last night a plate came over and gave me about 5 blowjobs. I was joking around with her that she must love giving blowjobs. She responded along the lines of "I normally don't, but for some reason, I like giving them to you. Most guys are weird about it."

I think it's a matter of balancing masculinity with comfort.

How is your dick doing?

Because most guys are weird about blowjobs... When she gives head like she is eating a corn maze

Quote: (01-18-2018 04:49 PM)AmericanPharoah Wrote:  

Hank,

Do you still rock the boot inserts making you around 5'8? While still not tall you can pass as average and not so quickly to be put in the short guy zone.

I'm 5'5 as well and I get frustrated sometimes. I'm working on my inner game. Confidence is everything.

Walk around with unwavering confidence. Ooze that shit. The hard part is having it come natural without coming off as try hard or arrogant.

The boot inserts are helpful, but honestly, I'm at a point where I don't really care all that much and prefer my slip-ons or docksiders. They're comfortable and easy. Candidly, wearing my docksiders or slip-ons lowers the success rate of my cold approaches. On the other hand, I don't have to lace them up and they actually look good. Especially with jeans. Unless I'm on a job site, I'm generally just not willing to put in the effort it takes to wear heavy boots anymore. Even if it lowers my ability to convert approaches. I have enough of a black book.

I find light arrogance to work in my favor. Like I was born into a wealthy aristocratic family and life is just a big funny joke. ([Takes a bite of steak] "I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight...")

Trying too hard is annoying. "Oh, you ate a good steak, I ate one that was so much better than yours!" That's just trying too hard. You're so way cooler than me, I could never be as cool as you.

The key, at least for my game, is to act like I'm better than everyone else without actually saying it.

"Oh, you're a fan of [Steak House]? Hmmm. It's not bad, I guess."

Slightly douchey, but funny about it. I'm pretty open that if I were to ever get married, I want a wife who would sit around, be hot, go to the gym, raise kids, and whatever else she does (except cheat on me, which I'd leave her for), doesn't concern me.

Add:

There is a lot of stuff about game out there on the internet. A lot of it is written by "professional" pickup artists. (No criticism for Roosh, I stick around here because I respect his work.) But according to certain "pickup artists":

"This one secret will help you bang blah blah blah"
"This game tip will increase your lays overnight"
"Buy my book and you'll be an overweight schlub banging 9s in two weeks, your looks don't matter"
"You can bang 9s off of Tinder just by telling them to come to your place and eat pizza"
"This canned opener works every single time on every girl!"

Ha, yeah, right...

In my personal life, I've found everything requires work. Hard work.

I want to lose weight? Go to the gym and make an effort to eat better. Wake up at 5am, throw those plates, and eat tuna for lunch. Ride your bike to work instead of driving. It's cold out, bawwwww...
I want to make money? Focus on my law practice, and invest money into obtaining better clients. Show up at 7am. Take calls at 10:00pm and on holidays. Go to networking events instead of lame dates.
I want to make my house a more fun place to live? Either put money into house cleaners, or wake up early and make cleaning / organization a priority.

Discipline.

Everything that's ever been worthwhile to me has involved hard work. It involves doing things I dislike, but it allows me to focus on the stuff that I do like.

I wish there was a "magic diet" that gave me six pack abs without any effort, a way to bang women just because I sent the "right" opening message, or a way to work two hours a week and make a six figure income.

There's just not.

If you find a way, write a book and I'll buy it.

I've had a couple of girls freak out out after a SNL and feeling slutty. In retrospect, this was my fault. I didn't do any post-bang comfort game and kicked them out without ceremony. Shit, I'd feel used too, if I were them.

That said, I always go for 1st date bangs. But tl avoid any ill feelings from the gjrl, I always will take her out for some fast food before we part ways. A $5 meal goes a long way towards her feeling like you invested in her and didn't just use her for sex.