Hey Guys - long time lurker here. Huge fan of the general sentiment of guys here, and appreciate how lots of talk is high level.

Something that's been on my mind is the line between sex addiction, and the healthy alpha desire to inseminate many women for greater chances at reproductive success.

Have you heard of the Collidge Effect? For the uninitiated, it basically means that men are wired to crave sexual variety, and the implication is that in our world of streaming high def multi-tab porn sessions, tinder, and urbanized living, we become highly desensitized.

I know I have.

Some background on me:
In the past 5 years I've lived between NYC/ LA. I'm good looking and basically slay it with my pics/ super direct tinder game (well, tinder is far more saturated than it used to be, but that's another topic).

I go on/off craving lots of sex, during "on" phases it'll be 3-7 girls/week, frantic compulsion for more more more, hard o think about anything else. Slow phases more like 1-2.

At this point I literally don't date any of these girls.. I only make plans if they're willing to come right to my place and fuck without a condom.

Also at this point, I'm not turned on by a girl after 1 time having sex. Maybe 2-3x, but typically we're talking 1 and I'm completely over it.

Am in a sexless LTR... love the girl, we click and have fun, but just am not attracted physically anymore. She's no exception to the above proclivity. She knows I sleep around and hates it, but I'm a catch in other ways.


Has anyone been in this sort of place before?

Yes, this is normal for a sex addict. I go on runs until my dick stops working and hurts like hell, then I go 'cold turkey' until it comes back to shape.

You don't even have to pick up that many girls; you can bang a girl all night, then rest a day, then do it with a different girl the next day, proceeding to repeat the cycle until you can't do it anymore. Anyone with game&looks can push the limits of their sexual urges; it's not something to be overly proud of.

I wouldn't call it a true addiction though because it's more of a choice than a craving, and it's also rather controllable with the cold turkey method. In the beginnings of a LTR, I can do with sex only once a week.

It's really during breakups that one can go a little crazy.

Wouldn't recommend that lifestyle long term to anyone.

My advice is you find a girl that you don't get bored of and try not to cheat on her. You'll maybe have to wait until you're older and your urges go down.

Quote: (12-25-2017 03:16 AM)AffNomad Wrote:  

Also at this point, I'm not turned on by a girl after 1 time having sex. Maybe 2-3x, but typically we're talking 1 and I'm completely over it.

I'm in the same boat. It actually sucks for abundance because I should have 2-3 girls on rotation but I get so bored of them after a couple times I just drop them completely.

I'm curious to hear more about this:

Quote: (12-25-2017 03:16 AM)AffNomad Wrote:  

Am in a sexless LTR... love the girl, we click and have fun, but just am not attracted physically anymore. She's no exception to the above proclivity. She knows I sleep around and hates it, but I'm a catch in other ways.

When I start to feel that way I usually break it off -- even in a longer term thing -- but when it's a great girl who is willing to wait it out / accept you for all your issues, I feel like a debt starts to build up.

OP, so you are a catch in other ways, and surely she has some good attributes too.

Do you feel like the longer you keep her in physical limbo, the more chance she'll stray?

Do you care if she cheats? Or is she enamored and willing to deal with it indefinitely?

It's hard to imagine girls' perspectives here because as a guy, a woman that "wasn't feeling frisky lately" would require immediate dumping from me. I suppose it's one of those difference areas. It's almost like she's submitting to your desire to wait... how kinky, hah!

I don't have much to add here, just curious to hear this point elaborated on by folks: the keeping your girl waiting thing.

Quote: (12-25-2017 03:16 AM)AffNomad Wrote:  

I only make plans if they're willing to come right to my place and fuck without a condom.

Do you straight out mention raw-dogging to online chicks? That must result in some interesting conversations.

I know some buddies of mine who married the first girl they banged. They never complain about the relationship and seem to be happy-ish. I think once you open yourself up to variety as a player, it's very hard for you to go back to banging the one girl exclusively. It's something I have had to deal with too.

My only LTR was 7 years. I had little experience before this relationship and it took about 3-4 years before I started wanting to play the field. I was very conflicted, because this girl, though she had some issues, would have made a decent wife. But I completely lost all sexual interest in her, and started cheating. It was a few years later when we broke it off for good.

It's a problem I've had ever since. I eventually lose sexual attraction in a LTR and it's completely demoralising as the coolidge effect has you running all over the fucking country looking for shallow conquests while throwing away something of substance.

What's the solution for the player with morals?

Find a good girl with a low sex-drive who will allow you to play the field. But no good girl is going to allow this, of course.

Quote: (12-25-2017 04:58 AM)xxx Wrote:  

Yes, this is normal for a sex addict. I go on runs until my dick stops working and hurts like hell, then I go 'cold turkey' until it comes back to shape.

You don't even have to pick up that many girls; you can bang a girl all night, then rest a day, then do it with a different girl the next day, proceeding to repeat the cycle until you can't do it anymore. Anyone with game&looks can push the limits of their sexual urges; it's not something to be overly proud of.

I wouldn't call it a true addiction though because it's more of a choice than a craving, and it's also rather controllable with the cold turkey method. In the beginnings of a LTR, I can do with sex only once a week.

It's really during breakups that one can go a little crazy.

Wouldn't recommend that lifestyle long term to anyone.

My advice is you find a girl that you don't get bored of and try not to cheat on her. You'll maybe have to wait until you're older and your urges go down.

Why do you go 'cold turkey'? Matter of being sexually drained (me), or simply that your dick literally hurts too much to keep going? Never experienced the latter..

I'm not saying I'm overly proud, or trying to brag. Figure a good % of this forum could bang this many girls too, so I'm in like company. Also never claimed these girls are 10s! What's that saying about a 5 in bed is better than a 9 in your head? The 8s-9s happen, for sure, but generally speaking I'm pretty happy to find a 7 that hits all of my criteria.

When you say wait till I'm older and urges go down.. as far as I can tell, this is just a reference to test decreasing.. if so that's not going to happen anytime soon. I'll start HRT the minute it's needed. And the idea that I'm supposed to be in chemical decline before I start wanting to be the kind of person society dictates is greatly unappealing. But sure, who knows, maybe someday I'll feel otherwise.

Quote: (12-25-2017 11:55 AM)corsega Wrote:  

Quote: (12-25-2017 03:16 AM)AffNomad Wrote:  

Also at this point, I'm not turned on by a girl after 1 time having sex. Maybe 2-3x, but typically we're talking 1 and I'm completely over it.

I'm in the same boat. It actually sucks for abundance because I should have 2-3 girls on rotation but I get so bored of them after a couple times I just drop them completely.

Ya exactly! Would be great to be into having 2-3 8s/9s on rotate.. Have bailed on many 8s/9s that want to be fuck buddys because I'm just not attracted anymore!

Think you'll always be like this?

Quote: (12-25-2017 12:15 PM)456 Wrote:  

I'm curious to hear more about this:

Quote: (12-25-2017 03:16 AM)AffNomad Wrote:  

Am in a sexless LTR... love the girl, we click and have fun, but just am not attracted physically anymore. She's no exception to the above proclivity. She knows I sleep around and hates it, but I'm a catch in other ways.

When I start to feel that way I usually break it off -- even in a longer term thing -- but when it's a great girl who is willing to wait it out / accept you for all your issues, I feel like a debt starts to build up.

OP, so you are a catch in other ways, and surely she has some good attributes too.

Do you feel like the longer you keep her in physical limbo, the more chance she'll stray?

Do you care if she cheats? Or is she enamored and willing to deal with it indefinitely?

It's hard to imagine girls' perspectives here because as a guy, a woman that "wasn't feeling frisky lately" would require immediate dumping from me. I suppose it's one of those difference areas. It's almost like she's submitting to your desire to wait... how kinky, hah!

I don't have much to add here, just curious to hear this point elaborated on by folks: the keeping your girl waiting thing.

Ya.. the debt is very real. She very much wants monogamy, and of course wants me to be sexually into her. She's holding out hope that someday I'll change.. and aside from her finding the occasional trinket a girl's left behind (has happened too often frankly), we get along quite well. Always have fun together, feel safe and comfortable around each other, etc.

So we technically have an open relationship. I've been honest about my needs and where I'm at with my hyper-ADD sexuality. Fair is only fair so I tell her she can sleep with guys too. She does, though not often, and mainly because it makes the situation seem more 'fair'. In my mind it's only a matter of time before she meets a guy that's a great catch and will give her the monogamy she wants. There'll be a period of intense guilt on her side as she falls for him, but eventually she'll make the transition and will break it off with me. Or not. We'll see. She's pretty enamored.

And hah, yes, we are kinky! I'm the first person she's ever met who's into the same kink as her. In that sense, I'm the guy that took her virginity. Plus have good game, am good looking, successful, smart, kind, few years older..

When I first met her, few years ago, I was super beta to her, we hooked up a few times then she ghosted and 2 weeks later got in a LTR with a more alpha guy. I never stopped thinking about her, mostly because she took my validation. But also because she was legitimately hot and kinky in the same way. I've found that to be exceedingly rare. Then a little over a year ago she texted me a big long message apologizing and asking to meet up again. The cycle repeated in a small way. I was more into her than she was into me, then I decided I wasn't going to be a chump anymore, got a job across the country, and told her I was leaving. This whole time I was into her sexually, probably because she was playing hard to get and denying my advances. A Double whammy attraction switch of high value woman + emotional triggers. THEN of course she realized I'm a catch and changed her tune. There was a period of a few weeks before I left when I was very into her sexually and things worked well..
Then I got to California and immediately realized I still want to fuck other girls of course. She moved out to California a couple months later and here we are.

It sounds like addiction but it’s hard to say. Maybe you’re just young and horny?

It’d give us more perspective if we knew around how old you were and about how many girls you’ve banged.

I had a very high sexual appetite when my number was 50,60 girls banged. Now, over 100, it’s much lower. I still love meeting new girls, but my desire isn’t anywhere near comparable to what it was a 1-2 years ago.

I think for most, what you described, is just a phase we grow out of.

Quote: (12-25-2017 12:39 PM)lazy Wrote:  

Quote: (12-25-2017 03:16 AM)AffNomad Wrote:  

I only make plans if they're willing to come right to my place and fuck without a condom.

Do you straight out mention raw-dogging to online chicks? That must result in some interesting conversations.

Me: "Btw have you been tested recently? I was last week."
Her: "Blah blah blah".
Me: "Ok cool, are you on birth control?"
Her: "Yes/ No"
Me: "Mmph, I can't wait to cum deep inside of you" / "Ok I'll pull out"

She might resist a bit for which I have some tricks up my sleeve, but 70% of the time assuming the sale works well.

Quote: (12-25-2017 12:40 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  

I know some buddies of mine who married the first girl they banged. They never complain about the relationship and seem to be happy-ish. I think once you open yourself up to variety as a player, it's very hard for you to go back to banging the one girl exclusively. It's something I have had to deal with too.

My only LTR was 7 years. I had little experience before this relationship and it took about 3-4 years before I started wanting to play the field. I was very conflicted, because this girl, though she had some issues, would have made a decent wife. But I completely lost all sexual interest in her, and started cheating. It was a few years later when we broke it off for good.

It's a problem I've had ever since. I eventually lose sexual attraction in a LTR and it's completely demoralising as the coolidge effect has you running all over the fucking country looking for shallow conquests while throwing away something of substance.

What's the solution for the player with morals?

Find a good girl with a low sex-drive who will allow you to play the field. But no good girl is going to allow this, of course.

Ya exactly! If I never left my small town and married some high school girlfriend, I'd probably be happy-ish, at least for some time. But even before I took the Red Pill I knew there was more out there.. "I know you've been looking for me, Neo."
I think most people like your buddies will eventually have a lot of regret even if things work out alright. And world of bitterness should things significantly sour. But of course, for guys like us, it's not even a deal we're able to make anymore.

When you cheated, I think that was completely natural. It's our imperative as men to diversify our reproductive portfolios. Did the issues you mention have anything to do with you losing emotional connection and making it easier to cheat?

How long does it take you to lose attraction now? It's like that old saying.. "Show me a beautiful girl and I'll show you a guy that's tired of fucking her."

I really don't think there's a solution.. perhaps a series of good girls that will eventually find someone that gives them what they want? Idk about you, but at this point (I'm 27) and can't imagine having kids because I can't imagine not wanting to fuck a different girl every single day.

Quote: (12-25-2017 03:03 PM)NextStop100 Wrote:  

It sounds like addiction but it’s hard to say. Maybe you’re just young and horny?

It’d give us more perspective if we knew around how old you were and about how many girls you’ve banged.

I had a very high sexual appetite when my number was 50,60 girls banged. Now, over 100, it’s much lower. I still love meeting new girls, but my desire isn’t anywhere near comparable to what it was a 1-2 years ago.

I think for most, what you described, is just a phase we grow out of.

I'm 27, no idea how many girls, but thinking ~300. I know what you mean about the desire not being what it once was, the thrill of the conquest has worn off compared to a few years ago, and to be fair I have slowed down, but the impulses do remain and if tinder was as easy in LA in '17 as it was in NYC in '15 I'd probably still be just as active.

Quote: (12-25-2017 03:09 PM)AffNomad Wrote:  

I'm 27, no idea how many girls, but thinking ~300. I know what you mean about the desire not being what it once was, the thrill of the conquest has worn off compared to a few years ago, and to be fair I have slowed down, but the impulses do remain and if tinder was as easy in LA in '17 as it was in NYC in '15 I'd probably still be just as active.

Probably sometime around 35-40 you will have an exceedingly high notch count, but nothing else. Banging randoms boosts your self esteem by proving that you are attractive to the opposite sex, but at some point you know how attractive you are and so this begins to feel like a hollow act. Later in life most guys begin to want something meaningful... something deep... and something lasting. This is where guys on this forum begin to get political and bitter... because 99% of their experience is with whores. They want a good girl to settle and marry, but in places like LA that's near impossible to find.

Then again... you may not go this direction. You may be fulfilled by banging randoms forever, some guys are like that. For myself, I now have a 3 week old baby, and I can't begin to explain how that makes you feel.

Quote: (12-25-2017 04:04 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

Probably sometime around 35-40 you will have an exceedingly high notch count, but nothing else. Banging randoms boosts your self esteem by proving that you are attractive to the opposite sex, but at some point you know how attractive you are and so this begins to feel like a hollow act. Later in life most guys begin to want something meaningful... something deep... and something lasting. This is where guys on this forum begin to get political and bitter... because 99% of their experience is with whores. They want a good girl to settle and marry, but in places like LA that's near impossible to find.

Then again... you may not go this direction. You may be fulfilled by banging randoms forever, some guys are like that. For myself, I now have a 3 week old baby, and I can't begin to explain how that makes you feel.

Sure, it's validating, and there's certainly a part of me that chases random whores because it strokes my ego, used to be beta, etc. But at this point it's a lot more than that.

Congrats on the baby, mate, I'm happy for you that you've found something that is presently fulfilling. Wishing you all the best in the future, just can't imagine feeling the same.

Perhaps it's not just a matter of testosterone, and more a matter of legacy and spirituality that come into focus once the biological clock starts ticking.

And perhaps not. Wondering if there are genetic/ categorical differentiators between guys like you and guys in their 40s that just want to bang sluts.

How many hours per week on average can you spend seeking new sexual partners? Like when you go on those cravings and have sex with 3-7 sexual partners in a week? And for those slow phases (1-2 new partners) ? To be considered an addiction, it has to have negative consequences on your life. Getting many strangers to come at your place and fucking them without a condom is a pretty high risk behavior in my opinion. I personnally don't think we're on the same level that the an healthy ''alpha Imperative To Fuck'' and the Coolidge Effect initially observed on rodents. It looks like an addiction to me, but than again only you know the effects of that compulsive behavior on all the other spheres of your life.

About the LTR I don't know... For me it is weird to imagine a sexless relationship like that but I can totally understand how you can feel emotionnally attached to your partner. I'm in a 5 year LTR myself, we live together and I still feel very physically attracted to her and although we've had our problems regarding a mismatched libido (mine is stronger), we have sex almost everyday now after all those years. I wouldn't have the energy nor the willingness to seek new partners every week and to engage in unprotected sex with them, even though I know I could pull it off. You are arguably a very extroverted and ''sociosexual'' person on top of everything.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Quote: (12-25-2017 12:40 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  

I know some buddies of mine who married the first girl they banged. They never complain about the relationship and seem to be happy-ish. I think once you open yourself up to variety as a player, it's very hard for you to go back to banging the one girl exclusively. It's something I have had to deal with too.

My only LTR was 7 years. I had little experience before this relationship and it took about 3-4 years before I started wanting to play the field. I was very conflicted, because this girl, though she had some issues, would have made a decent wife. But I completely lost all sexual interest in her, and started cheating. It was a few years later when we broke it off for good.

It's a problem I've had ever since. I eventually lose sexual attraction in a LTR and it's completely demoralising as the coolidge effect has you running all over the fucking country looking for shallow conquests while throwing away something of substance.

What's the solution for the player with morals?

Find a good girl with a low sex-drive who will allow you to play the field. But no good girl is going to allow this, of course.

You would be surprised. An older (early 40s) guy I know is engaged to what will be his 2nd wife. He talks about they have an open relationship not because he craves for other women, but because his sex drive is higher than hers (even though she is 9 yrs younger).

I see your position as a constant risk of those blessed with genetics and gifted with game.

To hedonistically scratch those primal urges with all the ease a modern society enables, up to the point you lost your essential pair bonding mechanism.

Luckily for me I have a head like a dropped pie, so my success was always limited to ensure my heart and soul didn't lose their way in a passing parade of vagina.

And now that I am older, thank fuck I can enjoy a proper relationship with a decent woman.

Too much of anything will take its toll on you my friend.

Quote: (12-25-2017 04:19 PM)AffNomad Wrote:  

Quote: (12-25-2017 04:04 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

Probably sometime around 35-40 you will have an exceedingly high notch count, but nothing else. Banging randoms boosts your self esteem by proving that you are attractive to the opposite sex, but at some point you know how attractive you are and so this begins to feel like a hollow act. Later in life most guys begin to want something meaningful... something deep... and something lasting. This is where guys on this forum begin to get political and bitter... because 99% of their experience is with whores. They want a good girl to settle and marry, but in places like LA that's near impossible to find.

Then again... you may not go this direction. You may be fulfilled by banging randoms forever, some guys are like that. For myself, I now have a 3 week old baby, and I can't begin to explain how that makes you feel.

Sure, it's validating, and there's certainly a part of me that chases random whores because it strokes my ego, used to be beta, etc. But at this point it's a lot more than that.

Congrats on the baby, mate, I'm happy for you that you've found something that is presently fulfilling. Wishing you all the best in the future, just can't imagine feeling the same.

Perhaps it's not just a matter of testosterone, and more a matter of legacy and spirituality that come into focus once the biological clock starts ticking.

And perhaps not. Wondering if there are genetic/ categorical differentiators between guys like you and guys in their 40s that just want to bang sluts.

Everything here I can relate to.

I’m going to be 40 soon.

I am presently banging around 8-10 girls regularly average age about 19 or 20.

Some are genuinely good girls that I’d like to date long term and they are enamoured.

I have also been pondering how to “have it all”, meaning a family but plently of variety.

My drive has not settled down at all and I think it’s a blessing and a curse.

The same thing that gives me the drive to smash new women keeps me strong and looking good but it also keeps me from being happy in a monogomous relationship.

I did what you did also at 27. Had a girl I really loved but didn’t enjoy fucking her at all (previously I did) to the point 4-6 weeks would go by and I’d have to bang her to keep her from going off the rails.

I don’t know if it’s sex addiction or the coolidge effect or what. I think most of the time I do this stuff to see how far I can push things.

It’s “fun” but I wouldn’t say it’s fullfilling.

Last night for example I had a 19 year old Puerto Rican girl come over who would be an excellent entry in the boobs thread. She left at 9:45 and a 20 yr old girl who could be in the Asian thread came over and spent the night. (It is pretty standard for me to have two or more women in a 24 hour period) most days of the week.

It was fun but really I was dead tired after work and just happy to smash them so they’ll stay in my harem a little while longer (it had been a little over a week since I saw both and I sensed they were about to go elsewhere)

I have been asking myself recently “is this all there is”?

When I was in my 20s I would have killed to be where I am now in terms of women and lifestyle.

The Lizard of Oz has a thread about how all men should eventually settle down and marry (I’m on my phone otherwise I would link to it) and at the time I disagreed. Now I’m not so sure.

Even for those who can conjure up fresh pussy on command, it would help their cause if they learn how to execute things more like a full-course meal than a TV dinner.

I know how this would normally track when even variety isn't enough to forestall desensitization is to start exploring wilder and wilder kinks, which can be risky (like asphyxiation).

Rather than going faster, harder, kinkier, you can go the opposite way and go slower, softer, more precise, more of a tantric direction.

This is what I prefer. Pound for pound what you'll wind up with is something women will perceive as "making love" and not fucking. It will be high on cuddling, and consequently, oxytocin, lots of edging, and as time goes on, simultaneous orgasms.

Now, treating women who are not LTR material to this can really screw with their brains, but I can just say for myself, that's what I want every time as long as I have the time and the privacy to do it justice. Anything less always leads to post-bang blues.

questor70, The tantric idea is fantastic. Do you know of any good online resources for what you are talking about? Do you know enough about tantric sex to do a datasheet?

Quote: (12-25-2017 04:19 PM)AffNomad Wrote:  

Sure, it's validating, and there's certainly a part of me that chases random whores because it strokes my ego, used to be beta, etc. But at this point it's a lot more than that.
Congrats on the baby, mate, I'm happy for you that you've found something that is presently fulfilling. Wishing you all the best in the future, just can't imagine feeling the same.
Perhaps it's not just a matter of testosterone, and more a matter of legacy and spirituality that come into focus once the biological clock starts ticking.
And perhaps not. Wondering if there are genetic/ categorical differentiators between guys like you and guys in their 40s that just want to bang sluts.

When you say it's "a lot more than than", can you expound on this a bit?

I started hormone replacement therapy around age 31. It made we want to fuck all day all night, but it never made me get bored with a particular woman. I would get bored with a woman just like you, but for me it wasn't a testosterone issue.

Here is what I found after a lot of soul searching. I had intimacy issues from the way certain women treated me when I was Mr. Beta. Getting bored sexually was a way for me to maintain emotional distance. I will also note that many of the women that would quickly bore me lacked feminine qualities. Lots of US women turn me on from "newness", but have nothing more to offer afterwards.

The intimacy issue is not something I have fixed. I've just found ways to work around it.

Quote: (12-25-2017 08:16 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

Everything here I can relate to.
I’m going to be 40 soon.
I am presently banging around 8-10 girls regularly average age about 19 or 20.
Some are genuinely good girls that I’d like to date long term and they are enamoured.
I have also been pondering how to “have it all”, meaning a family but plently of variety.
My drive has not settled down at all and I think it’s a blessing and a curse.
The same thing that gives me the drive to smash new women keeps me strong and looking good but it also keeps me from being happy in a monogomous relationship.
I did what you did also at 27. Had a girl I really loved but didn’t enjoy fucking her at all (previously I did) to the point 4-6 weeks would go by and I’d have to bang her to keep her from going off the rails.
I don’t know if it’s sex addiction or the coolidge effect or what. I think most of the time I do this stuff to see how far I can push things.
It’s “fun” but I wouldn’t say it’s fullfilling.
Last night for example I had a 19 year old Puerto Rican girl come over who would be an excellent entry in the boobs thread. She left at 9:45 and a 20 yr old girl who could be in the Asian thread came over and spent the night. (It is pretty standard for me to have two or more women in a 24 hour period) most days of the week.
It was fun but really I was dead tired after work and just happy to smash them so they’ll stay in my harem a little while longer (it had been a little over a week since I saw both and I sensed they were about to go elsewhere)
I have been asking myself recently “is this all there is”?
When I was in my 20s I would have killed to be where I am now in terms of women and lifestyle.
The Lizard of Oz has a thread about how all men should eventually settle down and marry (I’m on my phone otherwise I would link to it) and at the time I disagreed. Now I’m not so sure.

Solomon... a king who had everything (riches, power, glory, over 400 wives) wrote late in his life "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

It is part of being human to achieve something and then want more. As you turn 40 you are slowly realizing that death is coming for you. Your life is statistically more than half over. Children are the closest you can come to immortality.

Yes OP I'm going through the same thing as you.
Once I fuck and get to know a girl personally, I'm just not sexually attracted to her anymore.
I can have a girl that's an 8 that I've previously fucked asking me to come over on like a saturday night but I still choose to go to the bar instead and try my luck finding a new girl. I'd even prefer a new girl that isn't even as good looking but is at least new. And at the end of the night, if I strike out completely, I'd still rather go home and sleep in my own bed instead of go to an old girls house.

And my sex drive comes in waves too. Sometimes I want to fuck a whole bunch of chicks, even slightly chubby girls and I wanna eat their ass out and all that nasty shit. Then I go through a phase where I'm sick / disgusted at myself and then I only go for skinny conventionally pretty cool / popular girls and they sex isn't that great and I don't even want to eat a girls pussy out let alone her asshole.

Quote: (12-25-2017 09:05 PM)Robert Plant Wrote:  

Do you know of any good online resources for what you are talking about? Do you know enough about tantric sex to do a datasheet?

I'm sure there have to be one or more higher-repped members who would be better suited for that but I'd throw in my 2c if they did.

Oh, and I don't think what I do is technically tantric (because there are plenty of male orgasms involved) but I have no better term to describe it. It's not simply a matter of following a simple set of instructions and getting a guaranteed result. It's sort of a mental/physical discipline like tai-chi or karate. It's a skill like trying to get good enough at archery to split an arrow down the middle.



I know this is already an aspect of game but I'm not sure it's really given the level of emphasis it should.

Are most of your bangs from apps/online?

Since it’s so effortless, I think it’d be hard to say it’s an addiction, because you’d also be actively seeking bangs IRL too.

If online is your main avenue, since it’s more “passive” id be less inclined to call it an addiction.

However, if you’re swiping every day actively, and always trying to go out to bars/clubs to find a lay, that’s entering addiction territory (to me at least).

There is no limit to the male desire for sex. So "addiction" is when your sexual activity is negatively impacting your life and relationships. For most guys, game improvement equates to life improvement. In your case, game is fucking up your life.

If you can't fuck a girl more than once without getting bored, you have a problem. If you can't fuck your girlfriend, you have a problem. Most guys don't have your issue because natural constraints are in place to limit them. They don't have all day to chase girls; or they have poor game.

You need to recognise that pleasure and deprivation are inherently related. Because you are facing no external limits, you must create your own limits.

There is no easy solution but I suggest the following. Drop your girl, because you're using her as an emotional crutch. Stop fucking pigs, and only settle for the quality you struggle with (this means stopping online game). Develop ambitions in life that extend beyond your sexual satisfaction.

Wow, am so grateful the quality of responses.. what an awesome community. Thanks to everyone for sharing your wisdom and stories.

Quote: (12-25-2017 05:08 PM)Lermontov Wrote:  

How many hours per week on average can you spend seeking new sexual partners? Like when you go on those cravings and have sex with 3-7 sexual partners in a week? And for those slow phases (1-2 new partners) ? To be considered an addiction, it has to have negative consequences on your life. Getting many strangers to come at your place and fucking them without a condom is a pretty high risk behavior in my opinion. I personnally don't think we're on the same level that the an healthy ''alpha Imperative To Fuck'' and the Coolidge Effect initially observed on rodents. It looks like an addiction to me, but than again only you know the effects of that compulsive behavior on all the other spheres of your life.

About the LTR I don't know... For me it is weird to imagine a sexless relationship like that but I can totally understand how you can feel emotionnally attached to your partner. I'm in a 5 year LTR myself, we live together and I still feel very physically attracted to her and although we've had our problems regarding a mismatched libido (mine is stronger), we have sex almost everyday now after all those years. I wouldn't have the energy nor the willingness to seek new partners every week and to engage in unprotected sex with them, even though I know I could pull it off. You are arguably a very extroverted and ''sociosexual'' person on top of everything.

Thanks for sharing your story.

It really depends.. when I'm in full on fuck mode it can easily be 4-8 hours/day. Basically will prioritize it and won't stop until I either get a confirmed girl coming over, beat off 3 times, or it's very late at night and I have to admit defeat. I work for myself so it's not like I'm getting in trouble at work, also do well for myself so not like I'm losing my business over this. But ya, this preoccupation can eat into time I could be spending bettering myself as a man doing things like working out, reading, or taking steps to scale my business further. Of course when faced with a business challenge I'm struggling with it's very tempting to go to pursuing sex.

And ya, I suppose it's high risk... ish. I've gotten chlamydia once, non-permanent warts once. I'm an objective 8 looks wise (ex model) and 9-10 when factoring in job/lifestyle/intelligence/game.. and while I shoot for 7's+, I have zero qualms fucking a 6, or 4/5 if they're all I can find. Plus I'm pretty sly about the raw dog aspect. Pretty sure that when all these girls say "I seriously never do this.." that most of em mean it and I'm the exception.

So in your LTR, even after 5 years, you're just as into her? Do you have to think about other women in order to cum?

Thanks for sharing your story as well.

Quote: (12-25-2017 07:17 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

I see your position as a constant risk of those blessed with genetics and gifted with game.

To hedonistically scratch those primal urges with all the ease a modern society enables, up to the point you lost your essential pair bonding mechanism.

Luckily for me I have a head like a dropped pie, so my success was always limited to ensure my heart and soul didn't lose their way in a passing parade of vagina.

And now that I am older, thank fuck I can enjoy a proper relationship with a decent woman.

Too much of anything will take its toll on you my friend.

Hahah well kudos to the dropped pie face preserving your pair bonding mechanism. If you had your druthers and it was this easy though, would you be doing something similar?

Appreciate your insights my friend.

Quote: (12-25-2017 08:16 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

Everything here I can relate to.

I’m going to be 40 soon.

I am presently banging around 8-10 girls regularly average age about 19 or 20.

Some are genuinely good girls that I’d like to date long term and they are enamoured.

I have also been pondering how to “have it all”, meaning a family but plently of variety.

My drive has not settled down at all and I think it’s a blessing and a curse.

The same thing that gives me the drive to smash new women keeps me strong and looking good but it also keeps me from being happy in a monogomous relationship.

I did what you did also at 27. Had a girl I really loved but didn’t enjoy fucking her at all (previously I did) to the point 4-6 weeks would go by and I’d have to bang her to keep her from going off the rails.

I don’t know if it’s sex addiction or the coolidge effect or what. I think most of the time I do this stuff to see how far I can push things.

It’s “fun” but I wouldn’t say it’s fullfilling.

Last night for example I had a 19 year old Puerto Rican girl come over who would be an excellent entry in the boobs thread. She left at 9:45 and a 20 yr old girl who could be in the Asian thread came over and spent the night. (It is pretty standard for me to have two or more women in a 24 hour period) most days of the week.

It was fun but really I was dead tired after work and just happy to smash them so they’ll stay in my harem a little while longer (it had been a little over a week since I saw both and I sensed they were about to go elsewhere)

I have been asking myself recently “is this all there is”?

When I was in my 20s I would have killed to be where I am now in terms of women and lifestyle.

The Lizard of Oz has a thread about how all men should eventually settle down and marry (I’m on my phone otherwise I would link to it) and at the time I disagreed. Now I’m not so sure.

These are powerful words. I can very clearly see my life following a trajectory that brings me to where you are.. and from where I am now, it's more or less what I think I'll want.

What ended up happening with the girl you loved when you were 27? Have there been more like her? What's your general outlook on the likelihood of monogamy now, both philosophically and personally? How for you until you lose interest in one girl?

And maybe that is all there is for a certain subset of guys biologically wired to inseminate en masse as their reproductive strategies. And maybe there's nothing wrong with that, even if it does mean that legacy needs to be defined in terms of business success and philanthropy. I just know that the way I am now, I'd be miserable in a monogamous relationship with kids.

Very much agree on 19-20 being a fun age. Really can't relate to them about anything at all and generally find them semi retarded, but I hang out with them to fuck, not talk about futurism or the chemistry of cooking.

I'm not able to find the Lizard of Oz thread, but would love to read it if you can find it.

Quote: (12-25-2017 08:28 PM)questor70 Wrote:  

Even for those who can conjure up fresh pussy on command, it would help their cause if they learn how to execute things more like a full-course meal than a TV dinner.

I know how this would normally track when even variety isn't enough to forestall desensitization is to start exploring wilder and wilder kinks, which can be risky (like asphyxiation).

Rather than going faster, harder, kinkier, you can go the opposite way and go slower, softer, more precise, more of a tantric direction.

This is what I prefer. Pound for pound what you'll wind up with is something women will perceive as "making love" and not fucking. It will be high on cuddling, and consequently, oxytocin, lots of edging, and as time goes on, simultaneous orgasms.

Now, treating women who are not LTR material to this can really screw with their brains, but I can just say for myself, that's what I want every time as long as I have the time and the privacy to do it justice. Anything less always leads to post-bang blues.

Interesting take, though very much not in line with what interests me. What interests me is hard, fast, rough, feels-like-rape, I'm-gonna-inseminate-you-before-you-can-get-away type sex. And punishment/ discipline stuff.

Quote: (12-25-2017 09:31 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

Quote: (12-25-2017 04:19 PM)AffNomad Wrote:  

Sure, it's validating, and there's certainly a part of me that chases random whores because it strokes my ego, used to be beta, etc. But at this point it's a lot more than that.
Congrats on the baby, mate, I'm happy for you that you've found something that is presently fulfilling. Wishing you all the best in the future, just can't imagine feeling the same.
Perhaps it's not just a matter of testosterone, and more a matter of legacy and spirituality that come into focus once the biological clock starts ticking.
And perhaps not. Wondering if there are genetic/ categorical differentiators between guys like you and guys in their 40s that just want to bang sluts.

When you say it's "a lot more than than", can you expound on this a bit?

I started hormone replacement therapy around age 31. It made we want to fuck all day all night, but it never made me get bored with a particular woman. I would get bored with a woman just like you, but for me it wasn't a testosterone issue.

Here is what I found after a lot of soul searching. I had intimacy issues from the way certain women treated me when I was Mr. Beta. Getting bored sexually was a way for me to maintain emotional distance. I will also note that many of the women that would quickly bore me lacked feminine qualities. Lots of US women turn me on from "newness", but have nothing more to offer afterwards.

The intimacy issue is not something I have fixed. I've just found ways to work around it.

Solomon... a king who had everything (riches, power, glory, over 400 wives) wrote late in his life "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

It is part of being human to achieve something and then want more. As you turn 40 you are slowly realizing that death is coming for you. Your life is statistically more than half over. Children are the closest you can come to immortality.

I mean it's a lot more than just banging some girls, getting charge up feeling like 'the man', or just reveling in all the pussy I get now that I dreamt of when I was beta. Way beyond that, this is something I actually like, just because I like it, not because it proves some arbitrary point to myself or others. Though of course, ya, I still get giddy or nostalgic from time to time talking to my 12 year old anxsty self and thinking about how far 'we've' come.

I can relate to the intimacy issues. I've had my heart broken and been through/ put myself through a lot of traumatic shit. Honestly can't tell how much that factors into my current mindset, it's confusing when considering that this is how many men would operate if it wasn't for x/y/z.

Is your attraction to non-USA women in part because USA women treated you like shit when you were beta and subconsciously don't feel safe to emotionally invest in? I had this big time.. treated like a beta nerd as a kid, went to France for a few weeks on an exchange, many girls there literally threw themselves at me. For years afterward would fantasize about French women and still have a soft spot for them. Then again, US women are, by in large, entitled, stupid, fat, masculine, etc.

What ways have you found to work around your intimacy issues?

Love that quote.. And maybe it is all for nought.

But I also believe that life expectancy for me (27 now) will likely be 150-200 good years, with the possibility of catching the wave of tech that provides for immortality. Even if immortality doesn't happen, the fact that people are living longer and longer will start to challenge and even redefine the notions of monogamy and commitment. Means a lot more to spend 120 good years with your partner vs 40.

Quote: (12-25-2017 10:08 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  

Yes OP I'm going through the same thing as you.
Once I fuck and get to know a girl personally, I'm just not sexually attracted to her anymore.
I can have a girl that's an 8 that I've previously fucked asking me to come over on like a saturday night but I still choose to go to the bar instead and try my luck finding a new girl. I'd even prefer a new girl that isn't even as good looking but is at least new. And at the end of the night, if I strike out completely, I'd still rather go home and sleep in my own bed instead of go to an old girls house.

And my sex drive comes in waves too. Sometimes I want to fuck a whole bunch of chicks, even slightly chubby girls and I wanna eat their ass out and all that nasty shit. Then I go through a phase where I'm sick / disgusted at myself and then I only go for skinny conventionally pretty cool / popular girls and they sex isn't that great and I don't even want to eat a girls pussy out let alone her asshole.

Haha, love your honesty. And completely relate. Fucked a girl a few months back that was an objective 9.5... one of the hottest girls I've ever fucked. She's made it very known how much she wants to do it again, but only recently did it again.. and likely won't for another couple months. Would rather fuck a new 5 than an old 9.5 I guess.

When you say "go to an old girl's house", you mean you sleep over? I never sleep over.

Ya I feel you 100% on sometimes wanting to fuck chubby girls and do nasty shit like eat their assholes. Also go through phases wanting to go down on girls with hairy pussys/ assholes, though pretty sure that one is a harkening back to naturalism/ primalism, and because at this point shaved pussy is loosing its novelty.

And COMPLETELY relate to the swing the other direction, where after fucking some chubby girls and feeling disgusted, only want to fuck skinny conventionally pretty clean looking girls and not really even want to get super kinky with them.

Quote: (12-25-2017 10:53 PM)NextStop100 Wrote:  

Are most of your bangs from apps/online?

Since it’s so effortless, I think it’d be hard to say it’s an addiction, because you’d also be actively seeking bangs IRL too.

If online is your main avenue, since it’s more “passive” id be less inclined to call it an addiction.

However, if you’re swiping every day actively, and always trying to go out to bars/clubs to find a lay, that’s entering addiction territory (to me at least).

Ya, all of my bangs are from tinder these days.. literally don't go out to bars/ clubs, at all. Can't remember the last bang I got from meeting a girl IRL.. don't have the patience when it's so much easier/quicker this way.

Quote: (12-26-2017 12:12 AM)churros Wrote:  

There is no limit to the male desire for sex. So "addiction" is when your sexual activity is negatively impacting your life and relationships. For most guys, game improvement equates to life improvement. In your case, game is fucking up your life.

If you can't fuck a girl more than once without getting bored, you have a problem. If you can't fuck your girlfriend, you have a problem. Most guys don't have your issue because natural constraints are in place to limit them. They don't have all day to chase girls; or they have poor game.

You need to recognise that pleasure and deprivation are inherently related. Because you are facing no external limits, you must create your own limits.

There is no easy solution but I suggest the following. Drop your girl, because you're using her as an emotional crutch. Stop fucking pigs, and only settle for the quality you struggle with (this means stopping online game). Develop ambitions in life that extend beyond your sexual satisfaction.

To get a little big-picture on this, how is game fucking up my life? I'm not sure I even buy into the idea that monogamy is "right", or more importantly that it's right for me. It's certainly expected by society, sure, but it's an idea that was born of the adoption of agriculture/ personal property and the need to pass on said property rights. Then further supported by a host of religions to propagate an exploitable working class. Our modern notions of romance and monogamy are all predicated on a sociological backlash of a time pre-renaissance when marriages were matters of practicality not desire.

That's not to say that monogamy isn't right for some, or that I'm not hiding behind "just being an alpha", but it seriously muddys the waters when trying to understand what's "right" for me.

I wouldn't say I'm using her as an emotional crutch, she's legitimately my best friend and I do love her. Enough to have explained everything I've said in this thread to her, despite it being hard to handle. I'm honest about where I am/ what I want, and the rest is on her as an adult to make her own decisions.

Perhaps I didn't give enough context earlier, I have many ambitions in life that extend beyond sexual satisfaction. This has been the most productive year of my life and I gun for my business goals on the daily.