Hello everybody. I'm from Montreal and discovered this forum in summer 2015 when there was all the fuss about Roosh. I'm reflecting on my current long-term monogamous relationship which is experiencing problems. Reading some posts full of wisdom from certain forum members regarding similar issues, I thought I could benefit from outside opinions on my situation, especially from older men who have lived with a woman in a LTMR for some years, married or not. Sharing and discussing my story could perhaps help other members as well. I'll try to include the most relevant information to the situation.
A few months before I turned 26, I met a gorgeous 20 y.o woman (a 10 in my eyes) at a university party. I really like tall and thin women. Standing at 6'0, with endless legs, a bubble butt, a thin body, perfect skin, blond hair, great lips and green eyes, she was really beautiful. I was just like WOW when I saw her. I approached her and we hit it off. We had a great connection. She was a virgin. I couldn't believe how a such beautiful woman could be a virgin at 20. We now have been dating for about 4 and half years, and living together for nearly 3 years.
The good: Not only was she really attractive, but I was shocked at how smart, classy and knowledgeable she was, especially at her age. She is doing an engineering degree in university with mostly straight As. Yes, a very beatiful woman doing engineering... She had a unusual upbringing and speaks 4 languages fluently. We can talk about anything for hours, from economics to politics, it's just interesting to conversate with her, she is so smart and articulate. She doesn't go out in clubs or bars, she prefers reading a good book at home on Friday night and getting early on Saturday morning to do some sports and yoga at our appartment. She's shy and an introvert. She rarely sees friends, she mostly reads in her free time, studies a lot and likes to cook. She comes from a wealthy family (she grew up in Western Europe and had canadian citizenship along with some family here. she came here to study for college). She has a high net worth thanks to inheritances from distant family members. However, she remains very frugal without being cheap. She rarely uses her smartphone and never posts pictures on Facebook or Instagram, which is very rare among young women. It's amazing how she has a low level of narcissism. She is very loyal, often compliments me and says how lucky she is to be with me. We pay everything 50/50 for the appartment. She doesn't nag and is usually happy with me having the lead. Low maintenance. No tatoos, no drugs, etc. My girlfriend has a good relationship with her parents. Her mother is a surgeon and feminist and father a wealthy and successful banker, although they are divorced.
The bad: If one closely observes my girlfriend and her body language, it's possible to note that she's not only shy, introvert, but probably a not very sexual person. Her being virgin, I didn't really know what to expect in the long-run. My hope was to make her love sex and I wanted to take it slow and gently so not to damage her. I had to train her in some ways. She gave me her virginity after two months of dating. The learning was going to be very tough and the progression up to now proved to be slow, erratic, highly variable and problematic. She really didn't know her own body and still doesn't fully know in somes strange ways. She had significant sexual and body confidence issues, even though she is really beautiful and I was always reassuring her. She kissed, moved and behave awkwardly although there has been modest progress, this was all fluctuating. It was hard for her to get in the mood, even with long and attentive foreplay. She couldn't really get to understand what was really turning her on. We discovered that what was exciting for her was mainly me talking before and during sex. I have to describe lenghty erotic scenarios if I want her to get wet and excited. She doesn't want to participate, I must be the only one talking the whole time. Even if I talk and the sexual intercourse is going well, she looses the mindset and becomes really disconnected during sex about 30-40% of the time and will make me know indirectly or directly enough to spoil lightly or sometimes severely the sexual act. She is very BIG on romance. She is really on the affective/romantic side of the sexual spectrum. She has trouble deriving pleasure from visual and physical sides of sex. The pleasure is much more cerebral, much more than any other woman I've ever encountered. Altough there was some improvement, all the problems listed above are still present to a significant extent. Sexual frustration from her part arose, saying that she very inconsistantly enjoys sex. She has primary anorgasmia. I tried everything, and I failed to give her one. Sometimes, we have really great sex sessions, but that is very, very inconsistant. Those glimpses of great sex kept me aboard for those years and helped me to stay hopeful and optimistic since she was so young and unexperienced. The other major problem is lack of libido. I'd like sex everyday and for her 1 time a week, maybe 2, would be enough. Insidious and indirect denying started to happen when we moved in together and as it was the first time for me in that situation, I didn't know how to deal with that. Sometimes, even by being persistant, kissing, etc, she would not get on board or excited at all. With time, when I would approach her just to give her kisses and hugs, she would become tensed and stressed that I'd want sex and that she couldn't satisfy me. She seldom spontaneously offered blowjobs or handjobs. She built some kind of resentment for me being able to orgasm and enjoying sex so much in contrast to her. Last year, about 2-3 times, when we had an argument, she used sex to threaten me and said that I wasn't going to get laid this weekend (Huge redflag). Slowly, over the last several months, even though she is still so beautiful, I started to develop insidious problems to initiate sex with her since there was all those negative feelings related to sex with her and rejection that piled up. The spontaneity has been lost. I threatened to break up and less than two months ago we saw a sex therapist. The therapist determined during the first meeting that it was my girlfriend who had issues with intimacy and she is now undergoing therapy. My girlfriend started to make more efforts and there were glimpses of positivity (as there are always been) but overall it seems that my inner state on the sexual level towards her is somewhat deeply affected. I now have trouble approaching my own girlfriend and would like to make abstration of the negative toughts but can't. I broke up today with her and there is a state of crisis at our place right now, she says she doesn't want to loose me. I'm crushed. Aside of the sexual issues, she is a beautiful, great woman and we have a great chemistry. I feel a strong bond to her. I thought that I found my unicorn. I feel that I'll have to move on but everything is difficult right now. There are some good women out there, I think.
Comments and advice are welcome.
A few months before I turned 26, I met a gorgeous 20 y.o woman (a 10 in my eyes) at a university party. I really like tall and thin women. Standing at 6'0, with endless legs, a bubble butt, a thin body, perfect skin, blond hair, great lips and green eyes, she was really beautiful. I was just like WOW when I saw her. I approached her and we hit it off. We had a great connection. She was a virgin. I couldn't believe how a such beautiful woman could be a virgin at 20. We now have been dating for about 4 and half years, and living together for nearly 3 years.
The good: Not only was she really attractive, but I was shocked at how smart, classy and knowledgeable she was, especially at her age. She is doing an engineering degree in university with mostly straight As. Yes, a very beatiful woman doing engineering... She had a unusual upbringing and speaks 4 languages fluently. We can talk about anything for hours, from economics to politics, it's just interesting to conversate with her, she is so smart and articulate. She doesn't go out in clubs or bars, she prefers reading a good book at home on Friday night and getting early on Saturday morning to do some sports and yoga at our appartment. She's shy and an introvert. She rarely sees friends, she mostly reads in her free time, studies a lot and likes to cook. She comes from a wealthy family (she grew up in Western Europe and had canadian citizenship along with some family here. she came here to study for college). She has a high net worth thanks to inheritances from distant family members. However, she remains very frugal without being cheap. She rarely uses her smartphone and never posts pictures on Facebook or Instagram, which is very rare among young women. It's amazing how she has a low level of narcissism. She is very loyal, often compliments me and says how lucky she is to be with me. We pay everything 50/50 for the appartment. She doesn't nag and is usually happy with me having the lead. Low maintenance. No tatoos, no drugs, etc. My girlfriend has a good relationship with her parents. Her mother is a surgeon and feminist and father a wealthy and successful banker, although they are divorced.
The bad: If one closely observes my girlfriend and her body language, it's possible to note that she's not only shy, introvert, but probably a not very sexual person. Her being virgin, I didn't really know what to expect in the long-run. My hope was to make her love sex and I wanted to take it slow and gently so not to damage her. I had to train her in some ways. She gave me her virginity after two months of dating. The learning was going to be very tough and the progression up to now proved to be slow, erratic, highly variable and problematic. She really didn't know her own body and still doesn't fully know in somes strange ways. She had significant sexual and body confidence issues, even though she is really beautiful and I was always reassuring her. She kissed, moved and behave awkwardly although there has been modest progress, this was all fluctuating. It was hard for her to get in the mood, even with long and attentive foreplay. She couldn't really get to understand what was really turning her on. We discovered that what was exciting for her was mainly me talking before and during sex. I have to describe lenghty erotic scenarios if I want her to get wet and excited. She doesn't want to participate, I must be the only one talking the whole time. Even if I talk and the sexual intercourse is going well, she looses the mindset and becomes really disconnected during sex about 30-40% of the time and will make me know indirectly or directly enough to spoil lightly or sometimes severely the sexual act. She is very BIG on romance. She is really on the affective/romantic side of the sexual spectrum. She has trouble deriving pleasure from visual and physical sides of sex. The pleasure is much more cerebral, much more than any other woman I've ever encountered. Altough there was some improvement, all the problems listed above are still present to a significant extent. Sexual frustration from her part arose, saying that she very inconsistantly enjoys sex. She has primary anorgasmia. I tried everything, and I failed to give her one. Sometimes, we have really great sex sessions, but that is very, very inconsistant. Those glimpses of great sex kept me aboard for those years and helped me to stay hopeful and optimistic since she was so young and unexperienced. The other major problem is lack of libido. I'd like sex everyday and for her 1 time a week, maybe 2, would be enough. Insidious and indirect denying started to happen when we moved in together and as it was the first time for me in that situation, I didn't know how to deal with that. Sometimes, even by being persistant, kissing, etc, she would not get on board or excited at all. With time, when I would approach her just to give her kisses and hugs, she would become tensed and stressed that I'd want sex and that she couldn't satisfy me. She seldom spontaneously offered blowjobs or handjobs. She built some kind of resentment for me being able to orgasm and enjoying sex so much in contrast to her. Last year, about 2-3 times, when we had an argument, she used sex to threaten me and said that I wasn't going to get laid this weekend (Huge redflag). Slowly, over the last several months, even though she is still so beautiful, I started to develop insidious problems to initiate sex with her since there was all those negative feelings related to sex with her and rejection that piled up. The spontaneity has been lost. I threatened to break up and less than two months ago we saw a sex therapist. The therapist determined during the first meeting that it was my girlfriend who had issues with intimacy and she is now undergoing therapy. My girlfriend started to make more efforts and there were glimpses of positivity (as there are always been) but overall it seems that my inner state on the sexual level towards her is somewhat deeply affected. I now have trouble approaching my own girlfriend and would like to make abstration of the negative toughts but can't. I broke up today with her and there is a state of crisis at our place right now, she says she doesn't want to loose me. I'm crushed. Aside of the sexual issues, she is a beautiful, great woman and we have a great chemistry. I feel a strong bond to her. I thought that I found my unicorn. I feel that I'll have to move on but everything is difficult right now. There are some good women out there, I think.
Comments and advice are welcome.
![[Image: 330dba742e44a28f3538f3ee7c533fcf.jpg]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/33/0d/ba/330dba742e44a28f3538f3ee7c533fcf.jpg)
![[Image: love.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/love.gif)
You'll be ![[Image: evil.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/evil.gif)
Just break it out semi regularly as a special treat.
