Quote: (07-30-2016 04:55 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  

I have a soft spot in my heart for losers. Even the hostile gammas, who don't appreciate it.

This was always, always my downfall in my teens and and even occassionally in my early twenties. Arrogantly thinking I could help them or elevate them.

However, having compassion for them would always end with them dragging me down in some way or another.

I accepted the harsh reality that losers seem to chose their lot, particularly after dragging myself out of some terrible pits life threw me into via sheer force of will. Now, if I recognise neediness, or dysfunction, or those who expect to be carried on my shoulders when they have perfectly functioning feet, I refuse to let them in. They survive well enough, and realistically, they're happier with their own kind anyway.

It's been a useful rule. However, I let down my guard about 4 years ago with one, thinking I could help him out of his pit. Result: fucked over, big time.

Sometimes it's good to be reminded that our gut instincts are correct.

Autism.

Quote: (07-30-2016 07:36 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

I think there are lot of hot British chicks. Have a secret little fetish for them, like Latinas.

My impression from a 9-day trip to London earlier this summer as an American:

Compared to where I'm from, girls are either REALLY hot or REALLY ugly. Pretty much down social class lines.

Quote: (07-31-2016 06:53 AM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

Quote: (07-30-2016 04:55 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  

I have a soft spot in my heart for losers. Even the hostile gammas, who don't appreciate it.

This was always, always my downfall in my teens and and even occassionally in my early twenties. Arrogantly thinking I could help them or elevate them.

However, having compassion for them would always end with them dragging me down in some way or another.

I accepted the harsh reality that losers seem to chose their lot, particularly after dragging myself out of some terrible pits life threw me into via sheer force of will. Now, if I recognise neediness, or dysfunction, or those who expect to be carried on my shoulders when they have perfectly functioning feet, I refuse to let them in. They survive well enough, and realistically, they're happier with their own kind anyway.

It's been a useful rule. However, I let down my guard about 4 years ago with one, thinking I could help him out of his pit. Result: fucked over, big time.

Sometimes it's good to be reminded that our gut instincts are correct.

I never said I help them anymore, talk to them, or engage with them on any level, only that I have a soft spot in my heart for them. For exactly the reasons you have listed.

Still, I pity them.

Quote: (07-27-2016 12:11 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

I'm not in favour of the million blind approaches, its just inefficient, borders on harassment and not the best way to get laid.

I'd advocate for approaching interested women, those who show you iois, online or at specific times where its sensible to give it a shot.

I bartended in college and can completely vouch for this. The guys getting most the girls were not spam hitting on girls, they were usually talking to girls that they were either already familiar with, or the "new girls" they'd met were through some social connection already (call it social proof if you will), or, like you've mentioned, the women initiated in some way. I'm not for stopping guys from hitting on girls in bars, but the amount of guys that clearly couldn't "get the hint" was astounding. You ever been to a bar just to get a bite or a quick drink and have some drunk fucker try to talk your ear off? This is what a lot of women have to deal with when they go out, to a much greater extent. While I don't think women need to be nuclear in their dismissal, guys need to get that if she's not initially interested, the chances of you "willing" yourself to victory are slim to none, and you'll probably end up doing more damage if anything. Some guys really need to let the ego go when it comes to talking to women. Save your efforts for better situations.

Quote: (07-17-2016 12:18 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

I've posted it here before. I will post it again.

My best supervisors have been female. They were middle-aged, 45-55 age range, and had been with their organizations for a long time.

I also believe that they understood and could see who worked and who didn't work. They favored people who were smart and worked hard.

I've worked under enough men over the years. Most of them simply favored the schmoozers and the people who were "yes men" and sucked up to them.

Black female I worked for. Best ever. The thing with her, unlike some of the male managers in the office environment, is she wasn't spineless in dealing with shit. Her demeanor reminds me of Whoopie Goldberg when she was on the View talking about the famous "Cleveland Bus Driver Uppercut" video that went viral. She gets how the world is, and how people REALLY are, and she'll hold people accountable. Very intelligent and fair, understood the whole "two sides to every story" part of things.

Quote: (07-30-2016 07:35 AM)The Black Knight Wrote:  

Quote: (07-26-2016 02:11 PM)MdWanderer Wrote:  

I'll name some more:

Washington D.C- I have mentioned it earlier but I just wanted to expand. It gets the most crap in the manosphere but you have women from all over the world here. If a guy can't move overseas and date foreign women this (and NYC and Miami) is one of your few domestic options. Plus it has a good job market and lots of things to do.

Women from all over the world doesn't count for much, if anything at all, when:

1) Gender ratios are horrible. WAY more men than women.

2) The average type of women attracted to the area is sub-par/unpleasant/feminist/career obsessed.

3) The men are thirsty/beta, pretty well-to-do career wise, formally educated, and often have high-status sounding jobs (even if not so in reality) .

The combined three aforementioned points creates the perfect storm of a Pussy Hell dating market for men.

Therefore, whatever relative little foreign female talent scraps leftover is fought over like oil in Mad Max.

NYC on the other hand is the COMPLETE opposite of this regarding the three major points (it has good ratios, good female talent, weak guy competition outside the elite tier); hence why it is frequently cited as one of the best places to game in the US.

This little rant is just for those reading unfamiliar with DC who suspect it might be some kind of mini-NYC on the foreign talent front. It's not at all. Not in the slightest bit.

DC is not close to being NYC but I don't think its a death sentence either. I wouldn't come to this city for the women. The gender ratios during the night life are terrible. And you do find women with princess attitudes, frumpy women and so on. But there are attractive women here.

I think for young guys this city sucks but the older you are, the better this city can become for you. The city is quite walkable so it's very good for day game. A lot of the women walk here and take the metro so the women are in shape. And it is a solid place to find foreign women. In fact, a huge percentage of the women I have dated here are from foreign countries.

A lot of guys are beta here but that makes things easier for the guys that do approach. I went to a group happy hour last week and spoke to a well put together guy who had no trouble getting dates but the idea of cold approaching was totally foreign to him.

So DC wouldn't be my top destination for women but it isn't completely horrible either.

Quote: (07-31-2016 02:54 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  

I never said I help them anymore, talk to them, or engage with them on any level, only that I have a soft spot in my heart for them. For exactly the reasons you have listed.

Still, I pity them.

Nah, I wasn't implying you did, mate - was just riffing on my experience.

To AB,

Reading your previous post history, I came across your attempt to help a character named "Cardguy". What was your thought process on this, if you don't mind me asking?

Quote: (07-31-2016 06:53 AM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

This was always, always my downfall in my teens and and even occassionally in my early twenties. Arrogantly thinking I could help them or elevate them.

However, having compassion for them would always end with them dragging me down in some way or another.

I accepted the harsh reality that losers seem to chose their lot, particularly after dragging myself out of some terrible pits life threw me into via sheer force of will. Now, if I recognise neediness, or dysfunction, or those who expect to be carried on my shoulders when they have perfectly functioning feet, I refuse to let them in. They survive well enough, and realistically, they're happier with their own kind anyway.

It's been a useful rule. However, I let down my guard about 4 years ago with one, thinking I could help him out of his pit. Result: fucked over, big time.

Sometimes it's good to be reminded that our gut instincts are correct.

NAFTA- Could use some updating, but I think North America benefits from this.

My Multicultural city- I love my friends and family who are the results of mixed race breeding. They are some of the happiest people I know, and the mix race girls strutting along in my hood are fire.

27-33 yo women- They are often quite fun, have some interesting stories, and know what it is to be a woman again after (often) years spent as a feminist. They also are more fit and have lost their baby fat leaving a more lithe, and chiseled midsection- I love tight stomach, small waist and nice hips.

My bleeding heart Liberal girlfriends- While I often don't agree with them, its still refreshing to know that the world has not broken down their feminine trait of wanting to take care of the downtrodden. I just wish this meant people in their cities, rather than across the planet.

Bi racial BS.

The dorks of the manosphere endlessly harp on how you're a mudsharking "ancestral cuck" if you fuck / knock up a chick from another race. It's such horse shit. Bi racial chicks are hot most of the time. If you're a biracial guy and you choose to blame your failings in life on your genes, then what kind of a man are you?

Working for other people. I like it.

Quote: (08-01-2016 11:16 AM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  

Bi racial BS.

The dorks of the manosphere endlessly harp on how you're a mudsharking "ancestral cuck" if you fuck / knock up a chick from another race. It's such horse shit. Bi racial chicks are hot most of the time. If you're a biracial guy and you choose to blame your failings in life on your genes, then what kind of a man are you?

This sounds more like Stormfront to me than the Manosphere.

Quote: (08-01-2016 05:01 PM)MdWanderer Wrote:  

Quote: (08-01-2016 11:16 AM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  

Bi racial BS.

The dorks of the manosphere endlessly harp on how you're a mudsharking "ancestral cuck" if you fuck / knock up a chick from another race. It's such horse shit. Bi racial chicks are hot most of the time. If you're a biracial guy and you choose to blame your failings in life on your genes, then what kind of a man are you?

This sounds more like Stormfront to me than the Manosphere.

Have you not noticed the recent overlap?

Quote: (08-01-2016 11:08 AM)Herr Lucifer Wrote:  

To AB,

Reading your previous post history, I came across your attempt to help a character named "Cardguy". What was your thought process on this, if you don't mind me asking?

To clearly-clarify this, I wasn't publicly-running down any forum members. I was referring to an off-forum situation with a musical collaborator that I've spoken about previously on here, long enough ago that I was able to give Aurini advice when the Loser he trusted fucked over his project over in a similar way.

CG was CG. I liked his restless intellectual curiousity and his ability to be cuttingly-funny. I think he could have worked up some killer game with his DGAF attitude and a fitness regime, but here's the difference between CG - I'm assuming you're choosing to read CG that way - and a Loser.

CG was entirely-happy with his life. He never once complained to me about life being hard, being depressed or a lack of pussy. He never tried to remora onto me looking for the answers to my success, then getting sour or fading when he he'd realise there were no shortcuts. In our interactions, he was an upbeat, positive guy, and I saw a video of him working his niche, holding court, and having a good time doing it. Private Communication with him largely revolved around the new and interesting things that had sparked his intellectual curiousity that he just had to share with someone, and I'd follow his prompts and learn a lot. We naturally drifted out of contact due to physical distance, my very busy schedule in 2015, and what I sensed would be an interesting growing intellectual collaboration with a Published Scientific Author for him. This isn't uncommon with casual acquaintances. If our paths ever cross again, I'd meet him for a beer in a heartbeat.

By contrast, my collaborator had an amazingly-privileged life; an education at one of the foremost musical academies in the world; is tall; has a classic David Bowie rake build so he always looks like a model in anything he wears; is good looking; is an incredible talent; is snarky as fuck so has great leftist girl appeal; yet has burned every opportunity he has ever been handed in his life due to his psychological issues, including a million dollar artist investment by a major label.

To hear him tell it, he's a noble loser, a tortured artist the world just doesn't understand or appreciate. It's an appealing romantic construct for another creator, like myself, to buy into.

The truth of the matter is, he chooses to be a Loser and writes a romantic framing for his failures to appeal to sympathy from others, to be able to manipulate them for his own ends.

This is his choice.

CG seemed utterly-indifferent to how others saw him - like I said, solid game potential there - and wasn't looking for sympathy. There's a big difference between humourous self-deprecation and appealing to the pathetic, therefore, interactions with CG were overwhelmingly-positive for me.

The other two members of my band, speaking about what happened with my collaborator:

The guy, who is the easiest-going, good-natured cat in the world, who'll just bust out amazing playing with his dog at his feet, then will casually stroll out back for a smoke. "Hey, it doesn't matter if it is ever finished. The songs are fantastic. I had a blast playing either way, and I'm always up for more." He suffered a very serious life injury during production, and I was so inspired by his resilience I wrote a song that he thought was about my strength, but it was mostly about his.

I was on the phone with the girl last night, and I mentioned that I'm hoping to start a new album in November without him. "Maybe it's just the act of creation that's a positive force, and it doesn't matter if anyone hears it. I remember doing the backing vocals on [particular song] and I just hear this incredible voice I didn't know I had coming out of me in the moment and my whole body is shivering, and in my head I'm saying 'thank you, thank you for this' because this song is so beautiful that I didn't want to detract from it. Nothing can ever take that moment away from me. If you want to keep making beautiful music no-one hears, I'm in."

Both of them worked damn hard, and all their effort came to naught, yet failure and hardship only strengthened their resolve and positivity.

See the difference?

These are the sort of people I am blessed to have in my life.

Losers choose.

Settling down with one girl who although may not be perfect, is good enough and willing to follow your lead and raise your children, and choosing to be happy with it.

In retrospect, I dropped many good women due to thinking akin to the manosphere group think of AWALT and that they are all out to divorce rape you at a moments notice, though I had such thoughts long before the manosphere was a thing. Now that I've had several decades to reflect on that and also follow up on women that I dropped for stupid reasons but otherwise thought were good, it turned out that the majority of them were indeed good people and are now happily married with families.

Sometimes you have to trust your instincts, otherwise you just end up in a loop of generating excuses to dump perfectly good women that is very difficult to get out of.

Quote: (07-31-2016 06:53 AM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

Quote: (07-30-2016 04:55 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  

I have a soft spot in my heart for losers. Even the hostile gammas, who don't appreciate it.

This was always, always my downfall in my teens and and even occassionally in my early twenties. Arrogantly thinking I could help them or elevate them.

However, having compassion for them would always end with them dragging me down in some way or another.

I accepted the harsh reality that losers seem to chose their lot, particularly after dragging myself out of some terrible pits life threw me into via sheer force of will. Now, if I recognize neediness, or dysfunction, or those who expect to be carried on my shoulders when they have perfectly functioning feet, I refuse to let them in. They survive well enough, and realistically, they're happier with their own kind anyway.

It's been a useful rule. However, I let down my guard about 4 years ago with one, thinking I could help him out of his pit. Result: fucked over, big time.

Sometimes it's good to be reminded that our gut instincts are correct.

You and me both man. I use to be a lot more willing to go the extra mile to help losers when I was younger but I don't let them get anywhere near me now.

They just drag you down or fuck you over in the end.

Story time:

A once very good friend of mine who I had known for MANY years called asking for advice on his cunt wife. And when I say cunt wife, I mean the "insulting her husband verbally in public and talking mad shit about him in front of other people" type of cunt wife.

Obviously, he was very blue pill but somehow, someway, he FINALLY was on the verge of walking away after years of ridiculous behavior and actions from his wife. Behavior and actions that made his daily life miserable and affected his ability to have any kind of social life and self-determination. His wife totally owned him in every sense possible. It was disgusting but heartbreaking at the same time to be around and witness since the friend was an otherwise very kind and good person. I knew him during his single years and this was a man living in some kind of bizarro alternate reality hell now. It's a tragic transformation to see happen in real time; the selling of one man's soul to a female devil.

Up until this point (several years of the new wife being in the picture), I had held back from really letting him know how I feel about his awful wife. I threw out some mild dissatisfaction here and there but still largely held back. But since he called me looking for guidance and he sounded like he was ready to be a free man again, I gave him the raw truth.

Ultimately, he agreed with pretty much everything I said and after 2 hours of hashing it out and having a real heart to heart, he sounded committed to finally getting his balls back. I was very excited for my friend; to see him finally break the chains and be free.

About a month later, he suddenly went missing.

All of sudden, he was not answering or returning my calls/texts. We had spoke once or twice briefly about regular stuff since the BIG TALK but nothing of consequence occurred during those conversations. In retrospect, he seemed a bit distant and not laughing as much as usual but it wasn't anything significant or very noteworthy. After ghosting on me, I reached out several times and after several weeks, I got a random text message that just said he was very busy. I knew this was bullshit; this dude was acting like a chick.

My hunch is that he told his wife he was leaving her post-BIG TALK and mentioned some of the things I said. But being a dumbass in the heat of the moment, he cited me by name specifically ("Even The Black Knight thinks you...") and made very clear to her what I said about her. That being: she is a vicious cunt who only cares about herself and my buddy should leave her. Can't take that back.

Now, this wife is a hardcore control freak. I further speculate he caved during the potential divorce argument(s) and his wife told him to never speak to me again or she would leave him. It's a safe bet that she also threaten that if she ever finds evidence of even a text or phone call exchange , she will leave him as well. And I have no doubt she either overtly or covertly was going through his shit to verify if any kind of possible communication was occurring.

At first, I was a bit depressed by the situation. This was one of those guys who you NEVER expected to turn their back on you; especially in such a bitch fashion.

The younger and more inexperienced me would have lashed out; leaving harsh voicemails or trying to get to the bottom of what really happened directly. I contemplated calling his work perhaps to give him some cover to explain his side of the story. But in the end, I did nothing. I walked away.

If a man with whom I've been very fair and loyal to would allow such a vile woman to run his life and ruin our friendship and not even have the courtesy to have a conversation about it, then that man is no friend. That man is simply a loser who accepts a life of drowning in his own shit.

But instead of being filled with anger, I just feel sorry for him when it's all said and done. A man lost to the Blue Pill Bermuda Triangle due to his own arrogance and ignorance of the imminent danger right before him; chasing a mirage of treasure that doesn't really exist. And even when confronted with this reality, lacks the willpower and gumption to steer the ship away from danger, despite it clearly staring him in the face. To watch a Captain lack the courage to admit fault with one's self and correct course as a spectator, is tragic. As a crewman however, it's potentially fatal. I was the crewman but now I'm the spectator. And therefore, I can view things from a more neutral perspective these days.

When it comes to things like this, I've learned via the aforementioned experience and countless others prior, that people generally speaking have to come about and be willing to drive into the right direction on their own accord. You can give people a slight push but nothing more. Anything more just leads to burned bridges and resentment.

As I said earlier, I walked away. No big blowout; no dramatic epic end-of-friendship conservation. I have accepted in situations like this, it's best to let time do the work; if it can do anything at all. Maybe a year or two from now, he will come around one day and escape his horrible wife. It's a big "IF" and I hold no illusions that the odds are very good. Perhaps I'll make a token effort to reach out in a year or two; if only to to satisfy my own curiosity about what actually went down. People, even 4 miles deep in Blue Pill Land today, can still escape years or decades later. I still believe this. But certain bonds have been broken forever. It will never be the same as it once was.

Again, in similar situations prior: I felt a sort of strong sense resentment and betrayal and I would often lash out in anger. Now and since the aforementioned event, I feel oddly comfortable and content with the simple fact that a disloyal blue pill dead weight self-deported himself from my life. I didn't really lose a friend in that moment; he was already long gone.

For some time now, today, and going forward:

I make note to not let certain types of men into my life beyond superficial membership these days. Building years of goodwill and loyalty means nothing to blue pill men, weak men, and men who would ultimately put bad pussy above good friends. Men who lack a foundation of self that is firmly planted into the mantle of the Earth; a foundation that moves for no woman and certainly no twat of a female. These sort of men are not your brothers-in-arms but traitorous vipers who would sell their own gender out for a piece of sub-par ass. They must be recognized, discounted, and disavowed from the get-go; with the same precision, effort, and prejudice that we invest into filtering good from bad women.

In the end, life is too short to waste time on people who don't appreciate you and your limited time on this planet. Those who want respect, give respect. Always and forever.

That's goddamn right.

^Fantastic post, BTK.

^Agreed.

No man that is a man in the true sense of the word is afraid to walk away and start from zero.

The sad fact is that most guys don't even have to start from zero at all. They only need to open a new bank account, change their banking details at work and find a cheap dive or a couch to crash on.

Proof positive that some dogs will starve waiting for their master to feed them rather than take their chances out in the world.

Quote: (08-02-2016 04:01 AM)The Black Knight Wrote:  

These sort of men are not your brothers-in-arms but traitorous vipers who would sell their own gender out for a piece of sub-par ass. They must be recognized, discounted, and disavowed from the get-go; with the same precision, effort, and prejudice that we invest into filtering good from bad women.

Great post. My only addition would be that finding good men is even more important than screening out bad women. A band of brothers whom you can trust is business opportunity, it's a support network if things go south, and it's a sanity check - "Are you seeing what I'm seeing in this situation?"

Women come and go. So long as you don't let a Succubus get her claws into you, you'll be fine, minimal damage. But male friendships - true male friendships - last a lifetime.

There's a Bible verse I've stumbled across recently that I've adopted as a sort of mantra, to ward against the losers:

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
Psalm 1:1

Particularly the second part; if you try and stop a Loser from self destructing, they're only going to drag you down to Hell with them.

It sounds like a lot of us have PTGASD.

Post Traumatic Gamma Assistance Stress Disorder.

The flashbacks involve severe emotional pain during remembered moments of compassion.

And sadly, the cure involves shutting off a section of your heart.

Something the gammas themselves cannot comprehend or even notice in its absence.

This is why I said originally that I have a soft spot in my heart for them. I have stories I can't tell because they involve immediate family, and it is sad indeed to have to let a family member fall from the sphere of emotional engagement. Now, when they speak, it is like the parents in Peanuts cartoons. No impact.

The particular gamma I am thinking of doesn't have to be a loser. He has many talents and gifts. He started on the boulevard of achievement like anyone else, only when criticism and self reflection presented themselves to him, he took a right off the main thoroughfare to a side street called rationalization, and when more storms came, he veered into a cul de sac known as counter accusations.

He is pretty far off the main drag now, and is unwilling to backtrack or ask for directions.

Currently he is hiding out in an blind alley called complete denial.

When I look at him, I see not only his current state, but the potential of his youth. It is all such a waste of potential, like puncturing the side of a super tanker and watching crude oil despoil an untouched wilderness. A resource wasted utterly, willfully.

To look into his eyes is to see simultaneous defiance and abject confusion. He is such a lost soul!

He is already in hell

And there is nothing I can do about it. Except feel pity at a distance.

Quote: (08-01-2016 05:15 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  

Quote: (08-01-2016 05:01 PM)MdWanderer Wrote:  

Quote: (08-01-2016 11:16 AM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  

Bi racial BS.

The dorks of the manosphere endlessly harp on how you're a mudsharking "ancestral cuck" if you fuck / knock up a chick from another race. It's such horse shit. Bi racial chicks are hot most of the time. If you're a biracial guy and you choose to blame your failings in life on your genes, then what kind of a man are you?

This sounds more like Stormfront to me than the Manosphere.

Have you not noticed the recent overlap?

I think manosphere guys just think with their dick and not care about who hooks up with who. I think where the Stormfront overlap comes in is with the attitude towards the Islamic terrorist attacks in Europe (I'll admit I have read some things that made me shudder) and the Jewish dominated banking system and entertainment industry.

Quote: (08-02-2016 12:02 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  

When I look at him, I see not only his current state, but the potential of his youth. It is all such a waste of potential, like puncturing the side of a super tanker and watching crude oil despoil an untouched wilderness. A resource wasted utterly, willfully.

Indeed. That's the classic mark of the Gamma; utterly unfilled potential. I'm thinking that Gamma isn't so much a sociosexual personality type as it is a disorder. Alpha, Beta, and Sigma are all distinct types of people; for instance, while a Beta can learn Game and improve his odds, but he'll never be happy as an Alpha; he prefers to be a second in command. Same with Sigmas being an outsider. But the Gamma is a man in denial of his nature, squandering his gifts. Just look at the Maddox thread; imagine if you were in his shoes - a talented writer with an established fan base - would you blow it all defending cuckold fetishists? Or would you jump atop the new bandwagon and start contributing?

If you recall the same thing happened with Tucker Max and Breeding Grounds, or whatever his magazine was called.

Such a waste.

Quote: (08-02-2016 04:32 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

^Agreed.

No man that is a man in the true sense of the word is afraid to walk away and start from zero.

The sad fact is that most guys don't even have to start from zero at all. They only need to open a new bank account, change their banking details at work and find a cheap dive or a couch to crash on.

Proof positive that some dogs will starve waiting for their master to feed them rather than take their chances out in the world.

Do not do this in the US. It's shit advice. The courts will come after you and PUNISH you for trying to make off with your income and ditching your family.

Quote: (08-02-2016 12:02 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  

It sounds like a lot of us have PTGASD.

Post Traumatic Gamma Assistance Stress Disorder.

The flashbacks involve severe emotional pain during remembered moments of compassion.

And sadly, the cure involves shutting off a section of your heart.

It's less traumatised by our experience and more pragmatic and resolved in future because of it.

I was chopping wood yesterday and had gone into the shed here to get the axe and gloves. Heading for the door, I dropped one of the gloves, my natural reflex was to kick the falling glove back into my hand, but I only managed to kick it under the 2 inch gap between one of the benches, and the floor.

I got down on the ground and looked under the bench with my mobile phone light. The glove was there, a fair way under, amongst the dead leaves that had blown in from outside, and right next to a web containing an easily identifiable [Deadly] Red Back Spider.

Now, I know that Spider is quite content and happy being in his space, as I am in mine. It's better for both of us if our spheres of proximity don't overlap.

Unfortunately, I need that glove. Pragmatism kicked in, and I rolled down the sleeve of my flannel shirt, reached under the bench, and, very slowly and careful extracted the glove, being careful not to disturb the spider. Successfully done, I went on with the business of chopping wood.

If you recognise something with a Toxic Bite, it's probably best to avoid it entirely.

I accidentally-triggered a Gamma into Rage on here a little while back, him unable to see the transitions between a Generalised 'You' and an intensely-personal 'You'. Did I argue my case? Fuck no. I politely-apologised, and very-slowly and carefully backed the fuck away. I'm happy chopping wood in the Winter Air, I'll leave him under the bench, ready to bite anyone who ventures into his sphere of attention, even if the bite requires a fisked 4500 word reply for an argument that he (gammas gonna gamma) 'totally doesn't care about' winning.

Me? I prefer the sunlight. Leave the spiders in the shadows.

Related: Just visited a mechanic here and we got talking about life and our jobs and he asked, given my background, how I ended currently-laying bricks.

I talked for a bit, mentioning how life has a habit of presenting you with what seems to be setbacks, but then you end up transitioning unexpectedly into a much happier place.

"Isn't it funny how it goes like that?" he agreed, and told me how he only had the mechanic's business after suffering a bad back injury on his old job, that blew out his L5 and 6 vertebrae, and left him in bed for a month, and leaving him unemployable because no workplace would want to risk hiring him after that.

"They gave me $30,000 compensation, and tossed me away." There was no bitterness in his voice, just the resolute tone of pragmatism I talked about earlier.

He said after about 2 months, his wife told him to stop feeling sorry for yourself, and figure out what he was going to do with his life.

I said "There's no point complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. No-one cares."

"Exactly," he nodded. "So I thought, what do I know? Cars. If no-one will hire me, I'll be my own boss. Then, a week later, I saw the ad for this place. Three weeks of work here, my back clicked back into place. Been here 30 years now."

"And you're happy."

"Yep, ended up where I was supposed to be. And if there's another change, I know it'll work out."

As the conversation went on, we could recognise each other, the eye contact got longer and more comfortable. It's sensing ourselves in others, and the trust raises and the suspicion comes down.

This made me recall something I read recently in Quintus' translation of Cicero's 'On Duties', that I've been reading and rereading the last couple of weeks.

"Yet of all social bonds, none is more excellent and more enduring, when good men of similar ways are joined together in the spirit of familiarity. This masculine goodness... ...if we discern it in another, draws us to him and makes us friends with him who has this quality."

and

"Nothing is more pleasant and intimate than the resemblance of men of good character, in which the same spirit and same purpose can be found, so that each may equally be a source of delight to the other."

Once again, leave the spiders to the shadows.