Quote: (07-15-2016 03:30 AM)Phoenix Wrote:
Quote: (07-15-2016 03:19 AM)The Black Knight Wrote:
16 is too early to expect someone to be fully functional in dealing with all of life's problems They are still dependents generally. They can't own a house or even go into the military at 16.
Sure but I think this is resulting from defects in Western society, not due to any biological rule. As a simple example:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coming_of_...cient_Rome
Why are children spending much of the lives in a school learning about stuff that doesn't help them and which they don't give a shit about? They also spend their whole lives being told what to do, and having stuff done for them, instead of being encouraged to learn how to do things themselves. Dependency is taught. We could do much better for young men, and indeed when I am older I wholly intend to be involved in moving the education of young men towards this.
I know where you are coming from and I'm very sympathetic to what you're getting at. In fact, I sort of expected you to go down this route. Haha.
I suppose if you cut out all the bullshit, you could get a 16 old up to snuff on all the basics for living and surviving independently. There is definitely WAY too many people overly dependent on their parents at all ages these days. I find it pathetic.
Believe me, I struggled a lot with connecting with people when I was younger precisely because of what you are referring to: people who are TOO dependent on their parents and can't function or think on their own. The current culture and education systems discourages independent thought and even worse, they don't allow for struggle and for people to fail. No one can suffer; no one can feel bad. But that's the only way to grow-up to be a resilient adult and deal with real world struggles.
But I believe there needs to be a balance. Most people were on the overly protective end and acted like helicopter parents back in my day; never letting their kids fail at all. I was on the other end; dealing with overwhelming problems when I should have had some mentorship/protection to make sure I didn't go off the edge of the cliff. I came dangerously close many times and paid a severe penalty the occasions when I did.
The former leads to adults who can't handle adversity.
The latter leads to people who can handle adversity but I noticed throughout the years that it often breaks a lot people forever as well. Everyone has a breaking point. It's not a universal thing across each person and some people never recover from when they went off the cliff.
Again, I believe there needs be a balance. Push kids to their limits, let them fail, but be there to protect them from going off the deep end. As the years go on, you peel back the oversight until the child has the basic foundation to take on the world.
In the current western paradigm with all the distractions, obligations, bad influences, I think it's very difficult to get a kid to the basic foundation level by 16. Not impossible but difficult. I suppose if you have unlimited time, resources, and home school, it can be done with some confidence by 16. But most people have to work, send their kids to public schools, deal with a fucked up culture, and have legal limitations in how far they can push/punish a kid.
So, given the current reality and circumstances for most people: I think its not unreasonable to say it takes until age 25-30 for people to (potentially) really find their footing in life. Thus, this is why ideally I say everyone should have a male role model (a father) until at least 25-30; to shepherd them through all the unfortunate crazy bullshit that exists in the world today. And this is purely from a functional standpoint.
I didn't even touch on the bonding stuff; which is equally important in my opinion but I'll save that for another time.