Hey all,

There is this solid Russian girl I am in LTR with.
I know this girl very well since pretty long time (4 years), and she is a decent girl.
Today, we were talking about Chivalry.

I come from India, where males are so Beta and assholes. Despite being a rant on my country, I have no desire to save from admitting the fact that my country yields remarkably high number of Beta males.
There is a slight difference though - chivalry (like opening doors for a girl, giving her flowers) are at least not in the culture where I come from.

Given the slight misogynist feelings I have towards chivalry, thanks to RooshVforum, it makes me leap even one step ahead on being anti-Chivalry.

So, we were talking about chivalry - and she said that she doesnt needs it or wants it even, but it would not harm if I could do it sometimes:

"i just.... do not understand why not to hold a door in metro for example...
believe me... it's often physically difficult for me to open
or to catch it after someone....
why just not to hold for half a second?
....
if u are capable of doing it
no. I don't really need it.....
but it's not really what i'd call Beta
u see in it only a wish to please a woman
it's not like that"

But I took such an anti-feminist response that I myself felt uneasy, and thought of seeking your opinions.

What about your past experiences and your present habits of say, holding the door, flowers and all that?
Where do you draw the line? How chivalrous are you - and how do you go about it?

Ami5

Eh, I'm old-fashioned. There's a difference between being a gentleman with class and a craven beta. Things like holding a door for a woman can be done in a sort of sniveling trying-to-please way, or they can be done in a firm, alpha, almost impersonal way that seems to get a much better response.

I'm certainly not against basic "chivalrous" behaviour if it's done for your own reasons and not "to please".

Exactly what Stitch says. If being chivalrous is just how you are, go for it. But if you're really forcing it, it'll just appear as kiss-ass and won't get you very far.

Remember, you won't be begging on your knees, humiliating yourself or showing weakness, you're just being a gentleman! Was Giacomo Casanova a Beta?

To show chivarly has IMO absolutely nothing to do with being a stereotype Beta, unless, of course, you confuse being slavish with gentlemanly manners.

In general, Slavic women love it and even expect you to be an old-fashioned Alpha gentleman, even if she pretends to be "modern". Take her by the hand, gently but firmly, and throw flowers all the way to the bed where you will nail her and it should be fine.

women love it when you open doors for them an such. a little chivarly can go along way

Chivalry must be reserved only for true ladies who deserve it. Don't be a chivalry slut and give out away too easily, it cheapens its value.

I always hold the door open if someone is walking right behind me. It doesn't matter if it's a kid, hot girl, or grandpa. All of you have probably had a door slammed in your face by some asshole who is too cool to take an extra second out of their day. You don't have to act like a douche-bag in order to be alpha.

You can still be nice to people in general and be good with women. Having manners doesn't make you a pussy-repelling doormat.

Like Stitch said, there's a difference between being a gentleman and a beta.

Quote: (12-12-2011 10:17 PM)wi30 Wrote:  

I always hold the door open if someone is walking right behind me. It doesn't matter if it's a kid, hot girl, or grandpa. All of you have probably had a door slammed in your face by some asshole who is too cool to take an extra second out of their day. You don't have to act like a douche-bag in order to be alpha.

You can still be nice to people in general and be good with women. Having manners doesn't make you a pussy-repelling doormat.

Like Stitch said, there's a difference between being a gentleman and a beta.

i completely agree! my mom would slap me if she saw me let the door close on someone. i dont know what the hell this has to do with being alpha or whatever.

There is also a difference between being a gentleman and being a decent human being.

Of course you open doors for women, or let them go up the escalator first...but you do it with firmness.

You don't open the door like a doorman -- you open it with one hand on the door, and one hand on her waist. You guide her through the door with an ever-so-subtle push. You defer to her, but you tell her where and when to go. They think that it's chivalrous, but the hamster says, "He's in control."

These things are NOT imcompatible.