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Anyone else distant from their siblings?
#26

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

Jesus!! Some gut wrenching stories in this thread.

I have two sisters, 4 and 8 years younger. Talk to the older one about once or twice a week. With the younger one however, I was completely estranged from until about a year and a half ago.

She was either a baby or toddler when i was a kid. When i left home, she was barely 10. So we never really developed a relationship like Wutang said.

About 2 years ago she starts doing some modelling back home in Ethiopia and ended up being the runner up at some well known local teen Pageant.
One of my friends from high school posts the article on Facebook with a caption along the lines of " I keep getting older, they stay the same age" or some version of that.

I nonchalantly check out the article and the pics. In my mind I'm like ... " the winner is good but I'd take the runner up, she's is a solid WB".

I take a closer look and then check the name. And then checked it again ... just in case. Ripped my heart out that i was so estranged from my own flesh & blood that i not only didn't know she was competing, but also had to check the names of the contestants to be sure it was her. In my defense i hadn't seen her in 4 years and she went through puberty during that time.

Slowly building a relationship with her now. We skype about once a week and send each other funny stuff on FB.
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#27

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I can relate to this, me and my brother have grown distant after he moved out (he´s the oldest). We never really talk to each other just to talk. It was the worst during the last 4-5 years as we only saw each other on the occasional birthday or christmas. However, we have a half little brother at my dad´s side who´s really into FIFA, so we started to hang out with him together and we got closer than we ever have been during our adult life. And I never really liked FIFA, I forced myself to like it and play it to hang out with them who both love it.

My point is, even though you are distant now, there is always a possibility. Thing is you are the only one who can change that, call her and ask her how she is, I´m sure she´ll love to hear from you even if it´s just small talk for five minutes. Keep on doing that for some time, not everyday, but every week or so and I´m sure with time you´ll learn to know each other again. Cheesy, but you know you have to be the change in your own world.
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#28

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I have two older sisters, both about ten years older than me.

We never were too close, due to the age difference. They did let me hang around with them a bit as a kid, nothing dangerous there.
The distance grew when our parents divorced, given how our mother demanded we "choose sides".
The first-born chose mom, the second one chose dad and I was trying to play with both sides. To my 11-year old mind, I still had a mom & dad, and I loved them both.

Things went somewhat smoothly for some time, until about 5-6 years ago. I started asking my family (especially parents) about some old things relating to the divorce.
A lot of "why", "what" and "howcome" questions.

One fateful evening, after talking to my mom and flat out telling her to "stop talking shit about my dad, he's an OK guy", 'cause I'd been hearing her lambasting him for almost 20 years.
So naturally, she cut ties with me. "You're just like your father", "You'll never amount to anything", and other forms of guilt-tripping.

Here's where it gets twisted: A week later, I run into the first-born and her first words are "when are you going to apologize to mom?".
Apparently mom told her that I had cut ties. I tried telling her my side of it, but she wouldn't listen.
Her last words to me were "when are you going to grow up, you liar?!"
My retort: "As soon as you stop leeching off that idiot you call a husband, and start caring more about your daughter" (There was a lot of drama going on in her marriage at that time.)

Haven't spoken to her or mom since. Good riddance, I say. Even though it hurt like hell, I dare claim I'm better off.

The silver lining to this is me growing a bit closer to my other sister. She actually listened, and apparently something like this happened to her as well.
Although she did try to get me to reconcile with them, I probably won't, until I get an honest apology. Might take some time and a possible funeral.
(I did try talking about it with them, but they kept avoiding the subject.)

Last time we spoke on the phone (a couple of days ago), mom & the first-born have yet to speak about this with her. In honest terms, anyway.

So I guess I'm 1 for 2.

“As long as you are going to be thinking anyway, think big.” - Donald J. Trump

"I don't get all the women I want, I get all the women who want me." - David Lee Roth
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#29

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I have a half-sister who is 12 years my junior. Remember praying for a boy upon news of my mother's pregnancy only to get a girl. Due to her being female and being so many years apart, we never grew close or had anything in common, although I still help her and provide for her while I can. Both of our fathers are not active in our lives. I love my mom and she has done more than a great job of providing for us but she has had a string of bad relationships and has a penchant for dating losers which put us in this predicament in the first place (I'm sure some of you on this board have read my emotionally charged rants against single moms and a lot of it comes from my family life and experience).

My sister basically exists, she doesn't have any real hobbies besides watching TV and shopping. I was away in college during her formative years, so I wasn't around to teach her any cool stuff like playing an instrument, playing a sport, etc. part of which I regret because I had no one teach those things to me (I basically put myself into sports as a kid because of my friends). She is a good kid though, she has always stayed out of trouble and doesn't have a mouth like some members of my family did. In the past years as she has gotten older I have looked to rekindle our relationship now that she is almost in her 20s.
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#30

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I havent spoken to my sister for four years.

Don't debate me.
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#31

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I currently live halfway across the country from my siblings. One is halfway around the world. We've never really been close with my oldest brother, he's almost twice my age (I'm in my twenties). He was in high school when I was born. I feel like he's a stranger now. Never had much in common, and never saw him much growing up. I have a older sister same age group as him. Still hard relating to her.

David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king's son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage. 1 Samuel 18:27
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#32

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I have an older sister who was really difficult growing up. She would often bully me, put me down, and often try to open up rifts between us and our parents. I was always the quiet kid who got good grades and stayed out of trouble, and I think she was jealous because my parents always saw me as the "golden boy" from my behavior.

She got married out of high school and things got a lot better between us. My parents were against it but she convinced them he was a great guy so they'd pay for the wedding. I thought her husband was kind of a loser, but overall a was a stand up guy and had the right intentions. When they divorced all of a sudden he became hitler in her eyes, and my whole family threw him under the bus, which I thought was unfair.

The divorce put her into an unstable mental state and caused a rift between her and my mom. She made some really horrible threats and said some nasty stuff to my mom, despite knowing our mom suffers from clinical depression and is extremely sensitive to critique. Mom tried to work things out to no avail, and they stopped talking with each other. My dad tried to mediate, and the power games between them almost caused a divorce between my parents, who've been together over 30 years.

Even though we had a pretty rough relationship up to that point, I reached out to her to make sure she was alright and get her mind off things, and hopefully, to mend the relationship between her and my mom. I invited her to come visit me in the city I was living at the time to come party with my roommates and friends and get a change of scenery. We became closer at that time since she needed me for something. After things cleared up for her we talked less and less.

A bit later my cousin marries an absolute succubus of a woman (I heard she was confirmed BPD or HPD) who tried to turn the family against itself. Around the same time my sister starts dating a close friend of hers, an obnoxious bully satanist loser who can't even drive. She got a tattoo, began reading jezebel and XOJane, and started posting insane radical feminist bullshit on FB. I sensed an intense resentment from the cousin's spouse and sister's bf, as they'd always bring up veganism and SJW topics and I'd always point out logical fallacies and shoot them down. They started acting differently around me and I felt they were looking for a reason to justify their hatred of me.

Eventually they found an old, private, and what I thought to be anonymous collection of writings I wrote after getting out of a relationship with a BPD. It was no more controversial than some of Roosh's writing when he lived in DC. A lot of what I wrote was my catharsis, and admittedly during a time of personal depression and anger. I explained that to them, along with my ex girlfriends' (which I'm still mostly friends with) very high praise of my treatment of them, but nonetheless it was all used to gaslight and blackmail me.

Some of what I wrote about was the inadequacy of Western women and the refreshing femininity of foreign women. Maybe the women knew they were damaged goods and felt threatened by it, and they didn't want their cucks getting any ideas. Either way, they cut off all contact and made no attempts to ask what my views were or come to an understanding. In the ensuing months, they made up fantastic, horrifying allegations about me, or twisted things I've told them in the past into ridiculous stories in order to turn any and everyone against me and paint me in the worst possible light.

They tried to suck other family members into the drama, and often I'm automatically seen as an evil misogynist before any consideration of reason or entertaining of facts. As a result, sometimes I'll get asked questions like "Are you still a misogynist?" Having to put up with questions that falsely presume your guilt and force you into a defensive position gets old very fast. I started out apathetic to the whole charade, but it's starting to get annoying. If keeps up and it's actionable, I will launch a defamation suit against them, to which I'm sure they'll cry victim. I didn't start the fire, so don't expect me to all of a sudden volunteer to become a firefighter.

The rift has turned my mom into an emotional wreck and my dad isn't too happy about it either. After everything she put me through (using me to get through her post divorce depression, spreading false allegations to destroy my reputation), I reached out to her to try and talk for the sake of our parents. She refused, proceeded to make up more defamatory stories, and demand that I come groveling before she'll think about talking. Fuck that, fuck you.

At this point I have utter apathy for her and would never lift a finger to help in any way. It has been a hard lesson, but an important one. I've realized that most women, except for maybe your mother don't really care about you unless they can get something from you. Guys are easier to trust and reason with, but if they're cunt struck or blue pill, they'll defer to their handlers. There may come a time when we're on speaking terms again, but I highly doubt it, and even if it came to that, I would never put an ounce of trust with her.
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#33

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

Jesus Christ some of the posts in here are sad and rage filled..
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#34

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I was close to my brother when young, but as we both became teenagers we grew apart and it's been that way ever since. I can't really explain it, it just happened.

It's pretty clear that we're distant, but perhaps not mutually exclusive. He had a bad case of blue pill scares with a girl last year that caused a lot of trouble to the entire family. He's also apparently a Bernie Bro. He's pretty savvy with things, but in many respects he had better days behind him, where I'm a bit of a late bloomer and have had better days as I grew older.

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#35

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

Growing up, my sister and I were very close, like twins, basically. When she started having kids, she pulled back completely. Not just with her time, which is to be expected, but in terms of our connection. Years later I asked her about it but never got much of an answer. Honestly I'm still sad and confused about it.

I have a older brother who is good at business but bad with people in an almost aspie way. I'm the only one in the family who can tolerate any kind of relationship with him. He asked me to donate sperm. I told him no and he refused to let it go.
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#36

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I can't believe this thread has come up. I keep coming back to read the thread. I wasn't going to post but I think its good to get some shit off my chest. I've been dealing with issues with 2 of my brothers for years. I have 5 half brothers that are 9+ years older than me, one from my father (oldest)/4 from my mother (previous marriage).
Two have passed away at young ages. One from a suicide, he was 30 with a 2 year old kid. He had a tough time growing up with a drunk mother. He would stay with us for awhile then always end up back with her. I was young when this was happening but even I realized how much drama was going on in his life. He was a good guy but ended up marrying a manipulative woman like his mother. She was always threatening to take his kid. He couldn't deal and took his life.
My 3rd oldest brother passed from a stomach ailment he had since he was young. He also had a a horrible marriage. After he had his first kid, the marriage went to shit. But he stayed together for the kids. He told me once, when I get married if you see its not working, get out with your sanity. Everybody with be better off. He told my dad he would go months without speaking with his wife. He was a good guy as well--I was pretty close with him.
So with the remaining 3 brothers: I'm cool with one. we speak every once in awhile (mostly about himself). Another brother that I have to deal with because we live in the same area. He's a gossiping weasel. Loves to talk behind everyone's back. He lost some of my money in bad investments years ago. I shouldn't have trusted the prick.

And the last brother I grew up with until he went off to college. He's been a jerk for all his life. My brothers joked about how they never saw him smile until he was 30. He used have anger issues. My parents had a bit of trouble with him growing up. Today he's a successful engineer. As an adult, I only saw him on family occasions/holidays. He's married with 2 daughters. His life is pretty good. We were on good terms. I would take his kids to the movies/amusement parks.
So in my 30s I get a decent job that paid for college. I begin to improve--finishing my bachelors, MBA, JD, and quickly moving up the ladder at work. So between the ages of 30 and 40, my life improved dramatically. So as I improve, my brother's attitude/demeanor toward me starts to change... insults, wise cracks, all in the guise of "just kidding" jokes.It got so bad, my mother speaks to us about it. BTW, around this time, my father passes away. He would never pulled this shit around him.
But I just ignored his shit. Now here comes to major problem with this douche: I was born with erb's palsy. Its nerve damage to the neck/shoulder/arm. I took some shit growing up with it. Kids and even adult can be very mean. So I got into many fights as a kid. Even got suspended in high school and had counseling my sophomore yr. But I was lucky, I was a good athlete. I pitched 2 years in college before dropping out. I was a neighborhood celebrity as a kid because I could play sports with my arm. I was lucky, I was able to deal with my arm issue by playing sports so I fit in as a teen.
So at Xmas dinner 3 years ago, this prick makes fun of me calling my handicapped/laughing it up in front of my family. I just remember seeing RED!!
I almost picked up something to hit him with. It was like I saw every kid/every adult that has said something to me over the years. He knew all the shit I dealt with growing up but had to go there. I caught myself before I did anything stupid and just left. His daughter called me to see if I was ok which was nice.
Later that day, he called to apologize. I accepted his apology, returned his xmas gifts, and haven't spoken to him since. This situation has really bothered me.
I have hatred towards him and want revenge. It impacted my life negatively. I've been trying hard to forgive but its been tough. I've talked to my priest about it and he suggested counseling. I've been working hard to improve myself physically and I've been in a much better place lately but I must get this issue out of the way. I know he's just the face of a bigger issue I'm dealing with internally. Hopefully, one day I'll been able to forgive everybody and find some peace.

Great thread OP, I feel better already.

"To be underestimated, is an incredible gift." Rackham
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#37

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

Quote: (04-12-2016 12:33 AM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  

The sad thing about becoming distant from a brother or sister is that there seems to be no precise place (at least for me) where you can point to where things began to unravel. There seems to be (from our perspective) no real reason for it.

You just get older, and people go their own way. And if you talk to one of them years later, you feel like you're talking to a stranger.

That's the case for me. Like I said in the OP my sister and we never really fought or clashed heads that much unless you count little kid stuff like one of us eating the other person's food or arguing over what we wanted to watch on TV. There was no single big argument or incident that caused a major falling out. It's just that once I hit high school age and she hit middle school age we just simply stopped really interacting with each other. Not cause we were angry at each other or anything but we just didn't have much to talk to each other about. The years passed and the gap between us got slowly and steadily bigger until it got to the point that we were pretty much strangers and any sort attempt at communication between us would be super awkward. If anything trying to start up a relationship with a stranger would be easier for both of us since in that case there would be a complete new clean slate while for my sister and I we would have to deal with a lot of strange baggage; stuff like "Oh well we're siblings so we're supposed to have some sort of relationship but we don't. We've known each other for years but at the same time don't really know each other." None of that things would be play if either of us were trying to kick off a friendship with someone we had no past history with. I guess it would be kinda like trying to be friends with an ex; the two of you already know each other and have a history with each other and that's the precise reason it would be awkward.

My sister doesn't have any sort of personality issues and is well liked by people in general and also pretty successful in life so far so it's not like she's some sort of garbage human being unlike what some of the other people here has described about their own siblings. We had great parents too and a very loving and supportive home life so it just makes my relationship with her even stranger.
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#38

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I have one sister who is a couple years younger. Our home life as kids was pretty fucked up, and that made us closer to each other than a lot of siblings, I think. We remained close into our 20s, even going out to see local bands together and other social stuff. I had a pretty tough time after returning from a deployment to Afghanistan, and she was there for me through that rough patch in my life.

But we’ve definitely drifted apart in the last few years. I think a lot of it is simply lifestyle choices and how we take control of our lives. I moved to Phoenix when the opportunity came up, because I’d always wanted to live in the west. She stayed on in Connecticut, despite multiple chances to move elsewhere, based largely on family inertia. I live in a condo in downtown Phoenix and go to tons of sporting and cultural events, concerts, ethnic restaurants, cool bars, etc. She prefers an old house in a drab little suburb where the go-to dinner spot is Olive Garden and there’s one Irish-theme pub.

The biggest difference has come up relatively recently, though. She has kids at home while I don’t, and her youngest is a daughter. This has driven her completely toward feminism, and fairly late in life (she just turned 40). She was previously conservative/libertarian, but now she’s a rabid Hillary supporter. Her husband is a very intelligent man who used to be vocally conservative – though way more tradcon than shitlord – but she has succeeded in beating all life out of him. He won’t even discuss politics or philosophy anymore, for fear of her jumping down his throat. Last time I visited them, she got absolutely hammered on red wine and railed for literally hours about the evils of the patriarchy and how unfair life is for women, no matter how I tried to steer the conversation elsewhere. He just sat there grimacing, and looking at me like he was apologizing. Frankly, it made me sick.

I have no relationship with my mother, and now I barely speak to my only sister. I am very grateful to have a good relationship with my father, who is a strong and successful man.
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#39

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

It's the growing anomie of society.

Chowder head posted a quote from his older brother, "He told me once, when I get married if you see its not working, get out with your sanity." I want to argue this - that no matter what you stay together for the children - but with the corrosive forces in today's world this is harder than ever.

Houses that cost two-incomes; mancessions that maintain the employment of women; no church or community supporting you; toxic messages coming from the television, turning your kids into brats, and telling you that you're missing out on something. Divorce tears families apart, but is it the cause or the effect? In F is for Family - a show set in the 70s, at the beginning of the decline of married life - there's one scene where the wife puts her tupperware bowl over her head and starts screaming to herself in angst and frustration. These days, she's watching The View, reading Jezebel, and getting drunk with her toxic friends at the office lunch. It's one thing to deal with an upset wife who wants a bigger house, wants a better car, wants a better vacation, et cetera - the two of you are largely in agreement on the objectives, you're just arguing the strategy, and frustrated with how slow it's going.

What do you do when her objectives are based upon a lie? She wants to be sexy at 40, seducing young men in Jamaica, admired for her accomplishments - a fantasy dictated to her by television, and fed into by the corporate system as it sucks her youth out of her.

As a man, with the legal system arrayed against you, can you stick it out for the marriage?

Very few people want to admit that it's all a delusion. That Friends lied; you don't get to have a cool apartment and a quirky lifestyle in New York while working at a coffee shop. So instead of admitting the delusion, they blame others. They attack others. They spread bile.

It's funny how much effort people put into looking happy and successful around strangers, while treating their close ones terribly.

This, I believe, is what we're all trying to fight against.
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#40

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

my brother is a far-left social justice warrior. We only communicate online and it's mostly just arguments over political/social issues. I can't stand him.
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#41

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I don't communicate often with my 2 brothers (I'm in the middle) but when I do it's easy, no tension. They're on the other side of the country from me and I shoulder the blame for the lack of communication. It's been that way for me with anyone; good friends in high school, college, previous jobs, whatever: as soon as there's some kind of geographical distance or I'm not in regular contact anymore, I let them slide. I am trying to deal with that but in the meantime I'm thankful things are not more acrimonious between me and my brothers. Blood ties and all that. I want to re-establish better connections so my kids can know their family.

"Intellectuals are naturally attracted by the idea of a planned society, in the belief that they will be in charge of it" -Roger Scruton
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#42

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I severed the relationship with my family, including my sisters, 3 years ago. They are "strong women" who couldn't live without my parents' support until their late 20s. I had received no such similar support and got sick of being called a privileged male.

Being the constant subject of ridicule is sufficient justification to terminate any relationship, even family. My life has improved immensely since then.
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#43

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I have an older half-sibling in his/her 40s whom I don't know the gender of in 'Nam somewhere that was a product of my dad's tour during the war back then that I've never met. I'm distant from him/her both metaphorically and literally.

Question becomes "would I ever want to meet him/her?", and the answer is, outside of mere curiosity? Prolly not, s/he would be a complete stranger and there's possibly bound to be some resentment against both our father and myself(my being the offspring he choose to actually be around and raise).
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#44

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I note that a large age difference is a common theme in this thread. My brother and I are 12 years apart.

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...life begins at "70% Warning Level."....
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#45

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

Quote: (04-12-2016 11:57 AM)Wutang Wrote:  

Quote: (04-12-2016 12:33 AM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  

The sad thing about becoming distant from a brother or sister is that there seems to be no precise place (at least for me) where you can point to where things began to unravel. There seems to be (from our perspective) no real reason for it.

You just get older, and people go their own way. And if you talk to one of them years later, you feel like you're talking to a stranger.

Once again, QC touches my heart, but thank you Wutang for bringing it to my attention (I did read the post, but sometimes things get lost)...

This. Where is the cutoff point? What were those words you said, or actions that you did, that made someone lose that connection to you? A sibling no less. Don't expect mother and father to help much either with knowing what went wrong. They probably don't know either. Maybe they have become 'cut off' too.

This is my story.

My little brother is dying from cancer. A slow painful death.

Unlike me he never drank or smoked (I don't either anymore) and was an amateur bodybuilder, shunning any form of steroid and all that for his protein powders etc.

We have both yet to hit half a century. I will soon. He probably will never. Too soon. For a good soul.

Unfortunately, the gods have decided that it is not enough torture to watch my little bro waste away slowly. No, they have to add on an extra bit to test my faith further.

He is pretty much unable to speak now. I can't remember the last time we talked. Years, decades. I know we will never talk again, even though he is alive, still.

It took me a long time to work out what was the matter with him. I poured over psychology books and wracked my brains intensely. I think I have come to some kind of conclusion. He has an extremely severe detachment disorder. PTSD is a form of one. His is so severe that it is only usually seen by soldiers coming back from battle that have witnessed terrible slaughter.

He has never been diagnosed, and ironically enough, refuses to talk about it! I may have got it wrong, but this is my best guess/assumption.

I was saying to my mum, that I think that he has witnessed something terrible, or he has done something terrible, or was forced to do something terrible. I don't know. He is not the same person he used to be.

Like QC said, there seems to be no precise point where things started to unravel. I am at a loss.

I could pour my grief out here, but I will stop, point hopefully being made, with regard to the thread anyway.

I could deal with him dying. I could deal with him dying a horrible slow painful death. But I can not deal with the fact that he is unable to speak or talk about what is happening to him. It is cruel torture heaped on cruel torture. I know I will go to my grave not knowing what happened - what he saw, what he did, what he witnessed to make him so ghost like and withdrawn.

I love him more than life itself. I would give my life for his. I would give my arms and legs for him to only have another year on this earth. I would accept it gladly as a gift from the gods, just to 'know' to come to terms with it, to be able to 'understand'. Yes, I would live my life without my arms and legs. I mean that, such is my love for my beautiful brother.

It won't come.

I am preparing myself for the inevitable, trying to make myself strong.

I blame myself sometimes for letting him down. But some people become unreachable. Keep a close eye on your siblings. Check in with them. Look out for them. Don't miss a heartbeat.

If nothing else, just pick up the phone and say 'hi'. You should have a pretty good idea of how they are doing.
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#46

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I haven't spoken to my brothers in years; we grew up in a dysfunctional family and didn't get along very well.

Unfortunately I think that family bonds are becoming weaker in the modern times due to our consumerist culture.

On the flip side some people of an "old school" mindset seem to believe in family bonds being absolute even in the case of dysfunction, which I think is pretty absurd; I've known people with dysfunctional or abusive parents who still feel "obligated" to remain loyal to them simply because of blood ties and I think this is pretty far-fetched.
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#47

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

I fought a lot with my younger brother growing up. I've got two years on him, so I won all the time. I teased him a LOT for being fat, but now it's clear that he was just a chubby kid and I was an asshole.

Teenage years I felt guilty for teasing and fighting him and would always make sure he got a prime cut of meat before I did at the dinner table, or I'd randomly buy him gifts that he'd enjoy.

We have long, ongoing inside jokes and ridiculous promises that we've made to each other.

Now he's taller and stronger than I, but he is a loyal younger brother to me. He tells me that he doesn't want to separate from me under any circumstance, and I'm with him on that. He's usually the first to tell me "I love you" over the phone, which I at first (and still kind of do) think it's weird for a man to just offer that up (to another man too), but then again he's my little brother and I tell him "I love you" back.

It's pretty clear that I'm a big influence on him in terms of philosophy and politics. He's been slowly getting red pilled and he's voting Trump in the upcoming elections, after calling him a joke in December of last year. Likewise, he's gotten me very interested in combat sports, and spurred my interest in boxing. He leads me 3-1 when we've sparred BJJ, but I still kick his ass in boxing...
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#48

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

Quote: (04-11-2016 08:54 PM)Wutang Wrote:  

In my case, once my sister and I exited childhood we just simply never really interacted. We didn't fight but neither did we hang out or really have any sort of bond. When we are around each other during family gatherings we simply just don't communicate with each other. No exaggeration, we haven't had a full conversation for over 15 years now. It's not out of spite it's just that we're basically strangers that had nothing in common that happened to grow up in the same house and you aren't going to be talking to someone who's a stranger.

Anyone else in a similar situation? I was wondering if this sort of relationship is more common then I thought only people tend not to talk about it or if my circumstances is truly uncommon.

I am the same with my sister too. Exactly as you said.
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#49

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

Good thread.

I have put a lot of effort in improving my relations to my family members during this year. There are not many things I respect as much as strong, tight nuclear families.

I'm not super close with my siblings but we have always had good relations.
Always helping out each other when it's necessary but keeping a bit of distance in downtime. Feels healthy and we all seem to be on the same track.

During last year I have reached out to cousins, nephews, aunts etc and visited them during weekends.

I have also organised a family meeting and I managed to get everybody at one place at same time which is not easy when my family are spread all over Europe. That was good. I could really see how much the oldest members (+70 years) appreciated the meetup since they probably knew this was the last time we all were gathered at the same time.

Last but not the least I have greatly improved my relation with my mother by spending more time together. All I can say is she is a damn fine and caring good person. I don't know how I have failed to see that before now. I could not ask for anything better. I will give back as much as I can to her now as long she is in great shape and still alive.

My father on the other hand have never brought anything good to the table. Friendly person but a horrible role model. We rarely speak because we have nothing to speak about. A dead relation so to say.

But. All things good.
I can highly recommed reaching out to your parents and family members while they are still alive.

It's a wonderful thing and you might find a unexpected connection.
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#50

Anyone else distant from their siblings?

Quote: (04-13-2016 03:37 AM)username Wrote:  

Quote: (04-11-2016 08:54 PM)Wutang Wrote:  

In my case, once my sister and I exited childhood we just simply never really interacted. We didn't fight but neither did we hang out or really have any sort of bond. When we are around each other during family gatherings we simply just don't communicate with each other. No exaggeration, we haven't had a full conversation for over 15 years now. It's not out of spite it's just that we're basically strangers that had nothing in common that happened to grow up in the same house and you aren't going to be talking to someone who's a stranger.

Anyone else in a similar situation? I was wondering if this sort of relationship is more common then I thought only people tend not to talk about it or if my circumstances is truly uncommon.

I am the same with my sister too. Exactly as you said.

Do you ever feel the need to reach out and try to bridge the connection before it's "too late?" I'm asking cause there's been many times when I thought the same but I just never made the move. It's getting harder and harder now that we're getting older and since we're living on the different sides of the country.
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