I'm starting to focus my gaming on certain areas of my city; University towns in particular. Inevitably, I end up seeing girls I've previously approached/dated/banged. While many of us are familiar with the flaking epidemic, I'm curious to know how many of you deal with bumping into girls that have previously flaked or gone cold on you.

My general stance on this would be to completely ignore and disregard girls that have flaked on me, but a friend suggested I relax a little more and not be so militant in my reaction to being 'rejected'. For example, if I see a previous flake in a bar, I'll ignore her, unless it's really obvious I'm trying to avoid her, then I'll just act cool and say hey.

In some situations, I know the opportunity to reignite things with a flake may present itself, but I refuse to try again out of pride.

What do you guys think?

Don't ever think of anger or bitterness with those old leads, you never know if you'll get a notch from these flakes.

EYE-CONTACT

If you lock eyes, smile and say what's up to her, don't bring up the flaking EVER. Play dumb if you have too and play it cool.

Probe and bait her to see if she's still interested, if so, strike while the iron is hot and get her out with you.

I'm never angry at a girl that's flaked or a former fuck, because I always know there's another bitch around the corner. It's even better if they see you gaming a hotter girl.

Put your pride in check, you might be losing out on some bangs. At one point these women were attracted to you enough to give you their number and entertained the idea of getting fucked by you.

If a woman was an outright cunt, then of course skip her.

Quote: (11-20-2015 07:17 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Don't ever think of anger or bitterness with those old leads, you never know if you'll get a notch from these flakes.

EYE-CONTACT

If you lock eyes, smile and say what's up to her, don't bring up the flaking EVER. Play dumb if you have too and play it cool.

Probe and bait her to see if she's still interested, if so, strike while the iron is hot and get her out with you.

I'm never angry at a girl that's flaked or a former fuck, because I always know there's another bitch around the corner. It's even better if they see you gaming a hotter girl.

Put your pride in check, you might be losing out on some bangs. At one point these women were attracted to you enough to give you their number and entertained the idea of getting fucked by you.

If a woman was an outright cunt, then of course skip her.

This is very good advice. I used to shy away like an idiot, that's because it pissed me off.

I can't agree with any of this. Sex is a way of rewarding a woman for her good behavior. If a woman previously exhibited bad behavior toward you and you decide to bang her it's pretty much game over. If all you care about in the world is getting notches at any and all cost, then by all means, go ahead and bang her. If you truly care that women are well behaved and respectful, ignore her like I do, and move on.

I LIKEd both kaotic & Merenguero's posts here because I think both have valid points and the sweet spot (and the reality) is somewhere in between.

Guess what we all agree on is:
if any girl outright played the bitch, just ignore her (don't go ballistic on her, just ignore).

What to do with the rest of the cases:
I don't want to see it as black & white as Merenguero does - it presumes women are logical creatures - obviously they are not. For whatever reason she may not have contacted you or more likely she may not have responded well when you contacted her after initial contact.

Girls are more complex then men, she might have had bf at the time, or just a guy she liked perhaps, you put her in a good state with your opener, got the number, then she came to her senses(!) 15 minutes later, or perhaps she was on magic day of month when you called/texted. whatever reason it is, she did not respond well last time after your initial opener. maybe she's ready now - if so, open your big manly welcoming arms give a big hug. she's doing the right thing™ now and deserves your acknowledgement. communicate this with semi serious tone (I'll give you one last chance lol - find something better definitely) so she doesnt easily fuck it up again.

if she fucks up again at any point after this, then go total Meneguero on her, don't show mercy to any future fuckups. At that point it is indeed black & white and very brutal crystal clear disrespect. Remember the mafia films, concept of respect and all the intolerance. those rules are built on centuries old sicilian "scientific social studies practice" - benefit from the findings of Sicilian research institutions.

tl;dr
it just does not apply to initial state. the girl wasn't a made woman then, she's just an ordinary person, coldly accept any unintended disrespect and move on. if she tries to pull the same shit again it's not a luck thing, it's her style. don't tolerate it.

Thanks for your insight guys.

Quote: (11-20-2015 08:23 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

I can't agree with any of this. Sex is a way of rewarding a woman for her good behavior. If a woman previously exhibited bad behavior toward you and you decide to bang her it's pretty much game over. If all you care about in the world is getting notches at any and all cost, then by all means, go ahead and bang her. If you truly care that women are well behaved and respectful, ignore her like I do, and move on.

I'm more inclined to agree with Merenguero. Getting as many notches as possible use to appeal to me but lately I've been asking myself at what point does one sacrifice his self respect and dignity just to leave possible prospects open?

Quote: (11-20-2015 09:34 PM)olive Wrote:  

Girls are more complex then men, she might have had bf at the time, or just a guy she liked perhaps, you put her in a good state with your opener, got the number, then she came to her senses(!) 15 minutes later, or perhaps she was on magic day of month when you called/texted. whatever reason it is, she did not respond well last time after your initial opener. maybe she's ready now - if so, open your big manly welcoming arms give a big hug. she's doing the right thing™ now and deserves your acknowledgement. communicate this with semi serious tone (I'll give you one last chance lol - find something better definitely) so she doesnt easily fuck it up again.

if she fucks up again at any point after this, then go total Meneguero on her, don't show mercy to any future fuckups.

I no longer give women the benefit of the doubt. I always assume the worst.

Law 36: Disdain things you cannot have, Ignoring them is the best revenge

The more you want something, the more you chase after it, the more it eludes you. The more interest you show, the more you repel the object of your desire. This is because your interest is too strong—it makes people awkward, even fearful. Uncontrollable desire makes you seem weak, unworthy, pathetic.
By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility.

Quote: (11-20-2015 07:17 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Don't ever think of anger or bitterness with those old leads, you never know if you'll get a notch from these flakes.

EYE-CONTACT

If you lock eyes, smile and say what's up to her, don't bring up the flaking EVER. Play dumb if you have too and play it cool.

Probe and bait her to see if she's still interested, if so, strike while the iron is hot and get her out with you.

I'm never angry at a girl that's flaked or a former fuck, because I always know there's another bitch around the corner. It's even better if they see you gaming a hotter girl.

Put your pride in check, you might be losing out on some bangs. At one point these women were attracted to you enough to give you their number and entertained the idea of getting fucked by you.

If a woman was an outright cunt, then of course skip her.

I concur entirely. Extremely well written response.

OP there's one thing in the Game that you gotta be careful about, and that's having too much pride! Keep in mind that flaking isn't an automatic she doesn't care about you. No one can guide you on which one you should simply drop, and which one you should keep on pursuing after a flake. That's the intuition that you have to develop by trial and errors. Keep in mind that women have Last Minute Resistance just like we have Approach Anxiety!

Quote: (11-20-2015 07:17 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Don't ever think of anger or bitterness with those old leads, you never know if you'll get a notch from these flakes.

EYE-CONTACT

If you lock eyes, smile and say what's up to her, don't bring up the flaking EVER. Play dumb if you have too and play it cool.

Probe and bait her to see if she's still interested, if so, strike while the iron is hot and get her out with you.

I'm never angry at a girl that's flaked or a former fuck, because I always know there's another bitch around the corner. It's even better if they see you gaming a hotter girl.

Put your pride in check, you might be losing out on some bangs. At one point these women were attracted to you enough to give you their number and entertained the idea of getting fucked by you.

If a woman was an outright cunt, then of course skip her.

Another solid nugget of advice from the oracle of Kaotic If she flaked on you but was otherwise pleasant in all of your interactions then absolutely give her another shot if she hits you up or puts herself into your orbit. I mentioned this on another post but in my experience women's social lives are like icebergs to us men in that there's a ton of shit going on beneath the surface that we have no idea even exists. She could have flaked for a myriad of reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Taken even further she could be haunted by the fact that she flaked on you and wishes that she wasn't feeling so hormonal/sad/depressed/fat/unconfident/etc etc that day and could get a do over.

I can't tell you how many women I've banged from online who confessed to me that they almost flaked on our date. When I asked them why it would be for stupid reasons like feeling really really nervous about the date, having a shitty day at work, mini crisis at home, you name it.

Of course if she repeatedly flakes or shows difficult/cunty behavior that's a whole different story and she wouldn't deserve another chance.

I doubt if a chick you haven't banged (and haven't seen for awhile) would even remember you, what with the ever present distractions in the everyday life of a chick. Of course, if you've banged her, she'll remember you...

*"you" in the general sense

Quote: (11-20-2015 08:23 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

I can't agree with any of this. Sex is a way of rewarding a woman for her good behavior. If a woman previously exhibited bad behavior toward you and you decide to bang her it's pretty much game over. If all you care about in the world is getting notches at any and all cost, then by all means, go ahead and bang her. If you truly care that women are well behaved and respectful, ignore her like I do, and move on.

I agree with this to a certain extent as well - but like some have said, who knows wtf was going on. Granted I don't care.

If she flakes last minute, honestly, yeah I'd ignore the bitch.

If it's a few days or the day before, and I see her out later in a few weeks and we lock eye contact I'll say hi.

If she flaked, and I see a her a few days later, I'll probably ignore her.

If it's a girl a I banged and she flaked on me later, I don't give one fuck, I already won and moved on. It's her problem.

You're right we should encourage good and proper behavior from women, NOT reward them when they act bad.

I've came across a girl that flaked and ignored her for the most part. She chose to ignore me as well. I doubt its the last time because she works at a spot that I like to shop also one of my favorite malls. If she spoke or gave decent eye contact, I would have responded naturally. Otherwise, no need to approach her again and seem needy.

Opportunity to get a notch and build your skills.

It's very difficult to change people's behavior.
It's difficult to change your own.

I get the impulse to punish, or to not encourage poor behavior - but diffuse and indirect actions never have the effect that people want them to.

WIA

Quote: (11-21-2015 11:13 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Opportunity to get a notch and build your skills.

It's very difficult to change people's behavior.
It's difficult to change your own.

I get the impulse to punish, or to not encourage poor behavior - but diffuse and indirect actions never have the effect that people want them to.

WIA

I'm not being critical here, but where do you draw the line? If a girl starts talking to another guy when you are with her? If a girl puts on twenty pounds? If a girl often makes huge scenes in public? If she does it once? If a girl starts being sarcastic? Talking to you in a disrespectful way? I have the same answer to all these questions and it might surprise people or it might not, and yes, I do know girls who don't do any of these things. Most, if not all of them, have had fathers who were in the picture and are/were solid guys. Coincidence?

Quote: (11-22-2015 02:58 AM)Merenguero Wrote:  

I'm not being critical here, but where do you draw the line? If a girl starts talking to another guy when you are with her? If a girl puts on twenty pounds? If a girl often makes huge scenes in public? If she does it once? If a girl starts being sarcastic? Talking to you in a disrespectful way? I have the same answer to all these questions and it might surprise people or it might not, and yes, I do know girls who don't do any of these things. Most, if not all of them, have had fathers who were in the picture and are/were solid guys. Coincidence?

It all depends on your relationship with that girl.

If your girl.. flirts with another guy when you are with he, puts on twenty pounds, makes huge scenes in public, starts being sarcastic, talks to you in a disrespectful way.. lay down the law. It's obvious. However if some random girl does the same you can't really expect the same from her cause you're still strangers to each other.


So OP.. bumping into a girl who flaked on you after one date should be no big deal. I mean in a "zero fucks given" way. Fake it till you make it if you have but that is natural when you play this game. When you're in the game for real you have other girls ready to meet you so that one flake is like a joke. Like you lost a penny. This is by product of having some abundance.

Quote: (11-22-2015 02:58 AM)Merenguero Wrote:  

Quote: (11-21-2015 11:13 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Opportunity to get a notch and build your skills.

It's very difficult to change people's behavior.
It's difficult to change your own.

I get the impulse to punish, or to not encourage poor behavior - but diffuse and indirect actions never have the effect that people want them to.

WIA

I'm not being critical here, but where do you draw the line? If a girl starts talking to another guy when you are with her? If a girl puts on twenty pounds? If a girl often makes huge scenes in public? If she does it once? If a girl starts being sarcastic? Talking to you in a disrespectful way? I have the same answer to all these questions and it might surprise people or it might not, and yes, I do know girls who don't do any of these things. Most, if not all of them, have had fathers who were in the picture and are/were solid guys. Coincidence?

1)Talking to another guy
- If i've banged, I don't care.
- If I haven't banged I don't care.
- Plate, don't care
- LTR - shit's gone to pot, and I must have fucked up someplace

2) 20lbs
- only care in the LTR situation

3) Huge Scene
- haven't banged - avoid
- have banged - don't care
- plate - demoted
- ltr - break up, and wonder why I didn't see that bs before

4) One Huge Scene
- see 3

One is all it takes. Chick like that has no emotional control whatsoever, and eventually that shit is going to blow up in your face.

5) Sarcastic
- means nothing in all scenarios.

I don't require a sweet bubbly girl around me at all times, because 99% of the time it's an act. If all her shit is constantly sarcastic,chances of her getting to LTR status with me is low.

6) Disrespectful
- no bang - it depends
- bang - could care less
- plate - demotion
- LTR - important to analyze where this is coming from, but if you've consistently been teaching your girl how to interact with you, take care of you, love you essentially - then if she gets disrespectful you have to withdraw. If it continues you have to let her go.

A player's only tool in most of these situations is his attention.

If she does something to lose a man's attention, the man would be a fool to continue to give it to her.

Game is not for her, it's for him. It's to know what he wants, and have to the strength to push a fat and disrespectful bitch out of his bed. Then go back out there and get him another one.

Keep in mind, that chicks love to test and love to get a rise out of you. Some guys say that you need to react a proper way to keep her respect.

I don't think that's true. I think you should react the way you want to react, but have the strength and will to cut a broad loose.

A dude can modify her environment, set up intermittent rewards, and go through all sorts of psychological strategies to make control his woman - but if he has to do all of that work - who's really in control?

She is.

My take at least.

You're no wet behind the ears newbie, plus you seem to be well versed in my favorite cuisine, how do you handle disrespects

- chicks you've not yet banged
- you have banged
- on your roster, in your harem, in rotation
- long terms

WIA

^ WIA has the same sentiments as me.

Except the 20 lbs thing, if I see that I politely acknowledge her if I'm spoken to but otherwise would ignore.


If disrespectful but everything before was chill possibly let her know that shit ain't gonna fly and if she self corrects see what happens but otherwise just bounce. Is the disrespect that strong in the west though? I haven't come across it much at all since moving away.

If a girl has flaked on me, I used to get really mad. Then I tried this when I saw them at a bar again.

"Do I know you?"

Its crazy, its like the reverse counter alternate reality flake. I didn't have many chances to try it before I was out of the game but I had two hilarious results. These girls...one had flaked, one had number closed but then ghosted...they carried the conversation in congruence. Like we really hadn't met before! They then did a "ummm I have to go see my friends" type escape move.

I thought it was hilarious, it creates an infinite loop in girl programming as they aren't going to come out and say "YES you know me! I flaked on you last week! Its me hillary!" their faces were just painted with "I don't know whats going on here....".

Quote: (11-23-2015 11:14 PM)cascadecombo Wrote:  

^ WIA has the same sentiments as me.

Except the 20 lbs thing, if I see that I politely acknowledge her if I'm spoken to but otherwise would ignore.


If disrespectful but everything before was chill possibly let her know that shit ain't gonna fly and if she self corrects see what happens but otherwise just bounce. Is the disrespect that strong in the west though? I haven't come across it much at all since moving away.

I don't know if it the disrespect is really that strong. I was probably just using some extreme examples. The twenty pound thing isn't something that I have to deal with, since I've never had a long term relationship and probably never will. As for a lot of the other stuff, girls don't normally try to pull that on me unless they are really crazy, like clinically insane, in which case the disrespect just signals me to what's really going on and I make a run for the door. As I've said before, with the flaking thing, I just ignore them after the flake.

Sometimes flakes take a long time to come around, I would just ignore them or keep it relatively friendly.

Even if a girl doesn't want to bang you, you can still try for her friends, roommates etc. It really depends on why she flaked-

1. She's flaky - Don't take it personally and pretend it never happened, but don't give her the opportunity to do it again
2. She had her eye on a different guy - He won't always be there, so be friendly
3. She's just not that into you - So here she either said yes because she's too nice, or she said yes because you were forceful. If it's the first, be nice back and hope she has friends who find you attractive, if it's the second then be nice and hope she relaxes her stance about you... so you can bang her friends

I've found that little good comes from showing that a flaky girl bothered you

"Even if a girl doesn't want to bang you, you can still try for her friends, roommates etc. It really depends on why she flaked-"
Thats true. Also snooze and try later. Bang is there. Just a different point in time.

Duplicate - please delete.

Prior to RP thinking I would put up with bs from a girl - especially if she was hot - just to try and get the bang.

Now I am in a situation with a sexy little 23 yr old who thinks the world of herself ie. 'you'd be lucky to bang me' type.
She insulted me via text about how I carry myself and how I talk sometimes a few weeks ago so I straight cut her off. No contact.

Now she's been dropping the 'seeking attention' texts, how are you? What are you doing this weekend? BS.

My favorite so far - which is why I am replying to this thread - I just got a few minutes ago.

text message her: but in reality I am getting pretty horny. I want you to fuck me.

Shortly later fb msg: Don't get me worng, I've been getting rowdy and trying to find someone I want to fuck. Just all seems really boring. I guess I just want you to fuck me. You won't bore me or disappoint...and you'll show me who's boss. Hot.


WWWIA/Kaotic do?

For online game at least, I sort of have developed a bit of a rule:

If they flake out on me once but give me sufficient advance notice, I pull back and hit them up later. If they flake twice well in advance, even if they try to negotiate an alternate the second time around, forget it. They're not serious and I'm wasting my time.

If they flake the day of without providing an alternate and basically zero notice, forget it. This happened to me last week where she bailed when I was already on my way to the spot with less than an hour's notice. That's massively disrespectful and I don't see any point in continuing. If she apologizes profusely and provides and alternate, then something may have legitimately come up and well, maybe I'd consider it.