Me and one of my best boys were hanging at the opening night of a new night spot in NYC (Sons of Essex, 133 Essex Street on the lower east side) last night, and observed a chick that was all of the worst of American women that we've discussed here. Straight up comical. The spot is part owned by one of my boy's friends, a guy he used to work with at a record label. As it turns out, this guy is no joke. He was the youngest treasurer EVER at NBC Universal. He's heavily into real estate, and now he's opening night spots (he's opening a couple more besides this one). A little while after we sat down, two of the stars of the HBO series "How To Make It In America" come in with their entourage and chill - they're friends of his.
My boy runs to the bathroom, and we all finally sit down to do the intros and chill (we got there late, and he was closing up, so he was busy with staff, counting the take, etc.). As it turns out, my boy owns a building up in Harlem that was left to him and cousins. He's trying to develop it, secure financing, etc. This guy and his partner own properties up in Harlem, so they may be able to help him out. He goes to get his partner to do the intros, and it turns out my boy had met him in the bathroom. This other dude was telling him that some chick was into him, and he said, "I know, but she's BAT SHIT CRAZY." A few minutes before we were watching him tongue down this chick at the bar - full out, hands cupped behind the head, tongue wrestling. And she saw me and my boy watching and laughing. More on that later...
She's at the bar with other dudes, talking to one of the bartenders and sees us at a table talking. So she starts yelling over, and homey asks her to chill and keep her voice down. Which makes her yell louder. Then she comes over. They're trying to discuss business with my boy, and she's just butting into the convo. She introduces herself, and tells me she saw me and my boy watching her, and she thinks we're attractive guys (mind you, the guy she's jocking is right there). She introduces herself, asks what we do, blah, blah (she works in some capacity at a hedge fund). I run interference by suggesting we go to the bar and talk (to get her out of the way so they can all talk business). She intros me to another dude who she met that night, and the guy offers to buy me a drink. Naturally, she wants one too (I'm sure she had fools buying her drinks all night, while she was actively chasing another dude). She immediately DEMANDS that I give the bartender a big tip, because he needs the cash, has bills to pay, blah, blah. She's insistent, and demands I do this RIGHT NOW, and says "you should be dating a white girl" (I have no idea what that meant, and wasn't interested in asking her to explain). The dude that bought the drinks says he'll take care of it, but she won't leave it alone. I tell her, "Since you make so much, perhaps YOU can take care of the tip if you feel that strongly" (she was bragging about how much she made...that she made more than the owners of the spot). She gave me this shocked look, and slid closer to the other dude. So I bounced back to the table.
She comes BACK OVER and ask me to come back, because she didn't want me to feel left out (not used to dudes walking away from her). The guys weren't done, so I bit the bullet and indulged this psycho further. I ask her if she always attempts to order men around this way. She says yes. I insist I don't respond to that, so she needed to bring it down a notch (I'm not trying to fuck her, so I didn't give a fuck if she got insulted). She chilled. Then she starts talking about how beautiful her mother is, and how she feels ugly in comparison (this comes out of the blue), and she starts CRYING. I look over at my boy and start laughing. Then just like that, the tears dry up, and she's babbling about somehting else. The guys were finished their meeting, so I go back over. She follows. She starts bragging to us about going to Harvard and Columbia, and working for a hedge fund. She tells my boy that he's gorgeous, and wouldn't mind him being a sperm donor! Then she goes off on a riff about wanting to marry a rich guy, and being an admitted Indian Princess (I believe this has been discussed on other areas of the forum), and that every Princess has her price (after bragging about what she makes, she immediately admits to wanting to be supported and have babies). I ask her age, and to my shock she's 31 (I had her pegged for much younger, due to her infantile, erratic behavior all night). She's cute, not beautiful. Very petite, slim body. She tells us she's only been with 3 guys in her life (we didn't ask, but in typical fashion she's all over the place conversationally). She shoves her tongue into the mouth of the co-owner again (he's also Indian), and immediately tells him he's put on a few pounds and needs to lose it (he meekly agrees...ridiculous). One second she's saying that she's a nice person, and in the next moment she's insulting someone. Naturally, she was drunk, but who knows if it's the alcohol, or if she has some kind of clinical issue made WORSE by the booze. She then INSISTS that my boy come outside with her while she smokes. My boy is worse than me in how he responds to commands from chicks. He, like me, was chill last night because we didn't want to mar his boy's opening night. Under other circumstances this trick would have gotten cursed out a couple of times last night. It's like she was a hyperactive child, bouncing from person to person all night. We finally walk out, and her and the dude that bought me the drink were outside smoking. We say goodnight, and I walk up to her, grab her face and kiss her on the cheek. If dude is smart, he'll distance himself from this nut. He can't have her coming by his place of business acting crazy, annoying the staff, and overall fucking up his look personally.
My boy runs to the bathroom, and we all finally sit down to do the intros and chill (we got there late, and he was closing up, so he was busy with staff, counting the take, etc.). As it turns out, my boy owns a building up in Harlem that was left to him and cousins. He's trying to develop it, secure financing, etc. This guy and his partner own properties up in Harlem, so they may be able to help him out. He goes to get his partner to do the intros, and it turns out my boy had met him in the bathroom. This other dude was telling him that some chick was into him, and he said, "I know, but she's BAT SHIT CRAZY." A few minutes before we were watching him tongue down this chick at the bar - full out, hands cupped behind the head, tongue wrestling. And she saw me and my boy watching and laughing. More on that later...
She's at the bar with other dudes, talking to one of the bartenders and sees us at a table talking. So she starts yelling over, and homey asks her to chill and keep her voice down. Which makes her yell louder. Then she comes over. They're trying to discuss business with my boy, and she's just butting into the convo. She introduces herself, and tells me she saw me and my boy watching her, and she thinks we're attractive guys (mind you, the guy she's jocking is right there). She introduces herself, asks what we do, blah, blah (she works in some capacity at a hedge fund). I run interference by suggesting we go to the bar and talk (to get her out of the way so they can all talk business). She intros me to another dude who she met that night, and the guy offers to buy me a drink. Naturally, she wants one too (I'm sure she had fools buying her drinks all night, while she was actively chasing another dude). She immediately DEMANDS that I give the bartender a big tip, because he needs the cash, has bills to pay, blah, blah. She's insistent, and demands I do this RIGHT NOW, and says "you should be dating a white girl" (I have no idea what that meant, and wasn't interested in asking her to explain). The dude that bought the drinks says he'll take care of it, but she won't leave it alone. I tell her, "Since you make so much, perhaps YOU can take care of the tip if you feel that strongly" (she was bragging about how much she made...that she made more than the owners of the spot). She gave me this shocked look, and slid closer to the other dude. So I bounced back to the table.
She comes BACK OVER and ask me to come back, because she didn't want me to feel left out (not used to dudes walking away from her). The guys weren't done, so I bit the bullet and indulged this psycho further. I ask her if she always attempts to order men around this way. She says yes. I insist I don't respond to that, so she needed to bring it down a notch (I'm not trying to fuck her, so I didn't give a fuck if she got insulted). She chilled. Then she starts talking about how beautiful her mother is, and how she feels ugly in comparison (this comes out of the blue), and she starts CRYING. I look over at my boy and start laughing. Then just like that, the tears dry up, and she's babbling about somehting else. The guys were finished their meeting, so I go back over. She follows. She starts bragging to us about going to Harvard and Columbia, and working for a hedge fund. She tells my boy that he's gorgeous, and wouldn't mind him being a sperm donor! Then she goes off on a riff about wanting to marry a rich guy, and being an admitted Indian Princess (I believe this has been discussed on other areas of the forum), and that every Princess has her price (after bragging about what she makes, she immediately admits to wanting to be supported and have babies). I ask her age, and to my shock she's 31 (I had her pegged for much younger, due to her infantile, erratic behavior all night). She's cute, not beautiful. Very petite, slim body. She tells us she's only been with 3 guys in her life (we didn't ask, but in typical fashion she's all over the place conversationally). She shoves her tongue into the mouth of the co-owner again (he's also Indian), and immediately tells him he's put on a few pounds and needs to lose it (he meekly agrees...ridiculous). One second she's saying that she's a nice person, and in the next moment she's insulting someone. Naturally, she was drunk, but who knows if it's the alcohol, or if she has some kind of clinical issue made WORSE by the booze. She then INSISTS that my boy come outside with her while she smokes. My boy is worse than me in how he responds to commands from chicks. He, like me, was chill last night because we didn't want to mar his boy's opening night. Under other circumstances this trick would have gotten cursed out a couple of times last night. It's like she was a hyperactive child, bouncing from person to person all night. We finally walk out, and her and the dude that bought me the drink were outside smoking. We say goodnight, and I walk up to her, grab her face and kiss her on the cheek. If dude is smart, he'll distance himself from this nut. He can't have her coming by his place of business acting crazy, annoying the staff, and overall fucking up his look personally.
"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
