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Getting annoyed by trivial things
08-28-2015, 08:07 AM
I'm one of those people that quickly gets irritated by little things. Example:
I'm currently on holiday in Bucharest, having a good time, decided to go to a Turkish shoarma place for lunch but when I got there, a large group of elderly Israeli tourists had just arrived. They were being rude, loud, jumping ahead in the line etc.
My mood had been fine 1 minute earlier but from one moment to the next it felt like a dark cloud came over me. Being exposed to their behavior felt like some sort of personal attack on me, even though it obviously wasn't, it just felt like that. It took about 30 minutes to calm down after this.
I know suppressing isn't the answer and doesn't work. Has anyone ever successfully dealt with such anger issues, is there some sort of programme that can help with this? And I'm not referring to anger management classes here like you see in the movies.
Thanks
Z
Detective Rust Cohle: "All the dick swagger you roll, you can't spot crazy pussy?"
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Getting annoyed by trivial things
08-28-2015, 09:50 AM
Quote: (08-28-2015 08:16 AM)Paracelsus Wrote:
Quote: (08-28-2015 08:07 AM)zanetti Wrote:
I'm one of those people that quickly gets irritated by little things. Example:
I'm currently on holiday in Bucharest, having a good time, decided to go to a Turkish shoarma place for lunch but when I got there, a large group of elderly Israeli tourists had just arrived. They were being rude, loud, jumping ahead in the line etc.
My mood had been fine 1 minute earlier but from one moment to the next it felt like a dark cloud came over me. Being exposed to their behavior felt like some sort of personal attack on me, even though it obviously wasn't, it just felt like that. It took about 30 minutes to calm down after this.
I know suppressing isn't the answer and doesn't work. Has anyone ever successfully dealt with such anger issues, is there some sort of programme that can help with this? And I'm not referring to anger management classes here like you see in the movies.
Thanks
Z
You can control your emotions, even if you cannot control the situation. You can choose how you react to a situation. Try reciting to yourself whenever the anger starts building up: "I am responsible. I am responsible." It's difficult to maintain anger when you are intellectualising which emotion to choose.
Agreed.
There's no reason to get bent out of shape for things that are completely out of your control. Shit happens to all people, everywhere. The key is to realize that all these other people are going through their lives too - they're in different places in their own lives and may be completely oblivious to the fact that they are annoying or irritating someone else. Maybe they don't understand the local customs. Or... maybe they're really are just assholes, but if it's out of your hands it isn't worth adding to your own stress level.
Now that's not to say you shouldn't check someone when they cross the line, especially if they have truly wronged you. I firmly believe you should call people out on their shit when it's warranted and there's limited potential for retaliation.
I came to a number of realizations like this over the past couple of years and I will still get a bit pissed off when someone cuts me off in traffic or jumps the line. But you know what, at the end of the day I'm still going to get where I need to go and I'm going to forget about that radar blip in a few minutes anyway. You'll be much happier in life when you stop worrying about all the minutia. Life's too short. My 2c.
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Getting annoyed by trivial things
08-28-2015, 10:15 AM
Once again the Red Pill and hanging out on this site was important training for that. It taught me -- for pretty much the first time -- that when some fuckwit says something said to be "offensive" on the Internet, the first and preferred option is to shake your head, grin, mutter "Fuckwit", and move on with your day as if nothing happened.
Remissas, discite, vivet.
God save us from people who mean well. -storm
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Getting annoyed by trivial things
08-29-2015, 12:56 PM
Greetings, Zanetti.
I do not know your age but generally speaking, as you grow older, you will start calming down and start giving lesser fucks about trivialities. That said, meditation may help you,too.
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Getting annoyed by trivial things
08-30-2015, 01:50 PM
Thanks guys - some helpful views and advice
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Getting annoyed by trivial things
08-30-2015, 06:49 PM
Talk to yourself in your own head when. Start asking, "Why am I annoyed? Why does this bother me? What parts of this situation can I control and what can I not control?" When you start engaging the rational part of your brain, the emotions are easy to handle. Experience them and work through them. Be your own dad talking to your 6 year old self.
"Who cares what I think?" - Jeb Bush
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Getting annoyed by trivial things
08-31-2015, 12:57 PM
For all practical emotional purposes, and most other purposes as well, there is nothing out there. It's all inside.
Obviously in order to do scientific research, say, this must be ignored. In order to make any sense you must assume "all other things are equal". But in real life all other things are never equal. All causes and effects are linked to each other and to the way each of us perceives things. You've heard of the blindfolded group of people describing an Elephant, and each of them describing it differently. In the same way we each react, emotionally, to the same thing differently. If you don't like the way you react you just have to change it.
Not to say that there is any one "best" way to react. as far as I'm concerned "righteous anger" is sometimes better than just going with the flow, but it would have to be a pretty serious stressor. Otherwise I just see people getting bent out of shape by the most ridiculously trivial things.
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Getting annoyed by trivial things
08-31-2015, 01:10 PM
Perspective.
I live in a country where things work 99.9% of the time, where most people are reasonably polite most of the time and so on.
If you've just left a war-torn country, been diagnosed with cancer, been fired, been evicted, have a family member die, the fact that the line at the post office is slow is so small in comparison that it's like a speck of dust on the sole of your shoe.
Focus on your glass being 99% full,not 1% empty.
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Getting annoyed by trivial things
09-01-2015, 02:29 PM
I normally don't mind waiting when I'm walking about. I think it's because I normally think of all that time as 'wasted' anyway and I like to just think about things in my head.
I hate it when I'm in traffic though, because there's no choice a lot of the time and it feels like your freedom has been taken away to leave and your trapped here... waiting because of some stupid idiot.
The trivial things that get me really angry and that I need to learn to control is:
Pointless arguments with family members. - it's not normally the trivial issue that winds me up but the being ignored or disrespected.
Losing things, getting stressed out trying to do something or work at home, and someone has hidden the thing I need. I get pissed off, sometimes I find what I need and I'm STILL pissed off! I'll be shouting things like, 'for fucks sake, you show up now, why the fuck were you over there!!?!'.
"Especially Roosh offers really good perspectives. But like MW said, at the end of the day, is he one of us?"
- Reciproke, posted on the Roosh V Forum.