[cardguy]

I know this is beta as fuck. But I get pretty depressed. Sometimes it scrambles my brain for an hour or two.

What good is a hot super hot chick who is not going to fuck me?

And before you start trying to turn this into a 'turn your life around and master game' thread. That is not what I want to discuss.

Since I really don't think any amount of PUA skillz is going to make any difference when I see the girl of my dreams. Particularly if I am at work, and rushing back from Starbucks on my 20 minute break with a frappuccino in one hand and half a sandwich in the other.

Like I say - this kind of shit can sometimes ruin my day for the following hour or so. It is crazy - but I am sure I am not the only one who feels like this.

I sometimes chat about this with some old broads I work with. And they look at me like I'm crazy. But the other day - I finally figured out a useful analogy to get them to understand where I am coming from.

You see - most chicks fantasize about good looking celebrities. Somebody like George Clooney has a mixture of looks, fame, status, wealth, personality, charisma and pre-selection. The complete package.

But with guys - we are 100% visual creatures.

So - whilst most chicks will never be on a lunch break and bump into George Clooney in the aisle of a supermarket. This is the kind of shit that guys have to deal with on a weekly basis.

It is even worse for guys - since guys wanna' fuck a hot young woman much more than a woman would want to fuck George Clooney.

Which means - in any walk through town - there are about 3 or 4 "George Clooney's" wondering around for a guy to randomly bump into.

Obviously - by "George Clooney" I am talking about the female equivalent of one - ie a hot young chick.

To me that is a lot of psychological stress to deal with. Not always - but certainly at times. Since - these hot young chicks have as much interest in sleeping with me as George Clooney would with the old broads I work with.

Sorry - for such a beta post. But I cannot be the only one who has these feels...



I was going to post on this awhile ago. But reading this prompted me to start a thread...

http://www.returnofkings.com/30883/the-a...tive-women

[cardguy]

Just reading through the RoK article above.

Came across this great comment:

Quote:

This reveals the evil of feminist advice all the more:

Feminists telling gorgeous young girls to "Focus on your career and just have fun" in their most fertile, beautiful years is akin to a financial planner telling a businessman client who just had a financial windfall, "Now take all your winnings and fly to Vegas and just have fun." It is not merely bad advice, it is toxic and malicious advice.

[Quintus Curtius]

Cardguy:

Part of the consternation of life is that some things will always be beyond our reach. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try our best to attain worthy goals. But you're right in that the world is not "fair" in the sense that the goodies of life are not distributed equally.

But if you find yourself pining after something you think is not attainable, you will never be at peace. It does no good to ruminate about the things we don't have.

Focus on what you DO have, and where you want to go, and you will attract people who appreciate you for who you are.

[cardguy]

I dunno' if I am the only one here like this.

But I have zero interest in relationships with women.

It is purely sexual with me.

Anyone else like that?

[Flavius Aetius]

You get depressed because you regret not approaching her and introducing yourself--it was a lost opportunity. Your brain then ponders numerous "what if" scenarios throughout the day and that can lead to depression. Solution--go up to the stunning girl and say hello. You may get rejected. It hurts for about 1-2 mins, then afterwards you quickly forget it. The upside is that you took the chance.

[iknowexactly]

(03-23-2014 03:03 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

I dunno' if I am the only one here like this.

But I have zero interest in relationships with women.

It is purely sexual with me.

Anyone else like that?

I'm kind of the opposite of that, and I wonder if I'm too far in the opposite direction for my own good.
Not judging you, i think we all have different attachment proneness built into us neurologically.

I'm not trolling you, but I guess this is a rhetorical question--

Thought experiment (let's ignore the $300+ per hour charge for 9+ hookers in USA) : If it's purely physically sexual for you, and you don't care at all who the girl is , why not hire gorgeous hookers in a place where its legal? A significant minority of 9+ chicks accept the lure of becoming wealthy directly through their looks.

If that bothers you in some way, doesn't it mean you are indeed caring who she is to some degree?

It leads to the question of when you say purely sexual, what exactly does that mean-- as Freud argued EVERYTHING is sexual, everything is related to survival/replication...

I keep repeating this rant, partly to remind myself:

I think various evolutionary strategies have led to various levels of attachment proneness. I have always been very Beta, or wanting to get comfortable and stay with a woman who is attractive to me.

Others always want to move on.

I think both strategies work in reproductive terms, which is why we feel that way.

We're just messengers carrying our genes on order into the future.

[iknowexactly]

(03-23-2014 03:10 PM)Flavius Aetius Wrote:  

You get depressed because you regret not approaching her and introducing yourself--it was a lost opportunity. Your brain then ponders numerous "what if" scenarios throughout the day and that can lead to depression. Solution--go up to the stunning girl and say hello. You may get rejected. It hurts for about 1-2 mins, then afterwards you quickly forget it. The upside is that you took the chance.

I like this idea, I have found that the rush of approaching gives me a high despite getting completely blown out.

[cardguy]

I'm down with P4P. It is great.

As for feeling depressed that I didn't approach the girl. That isn't it. I accept that the hottest girls are out of my league. Which makes sense since I am only interested in 9's and 10's.

It is a problem without a solution. And please don't tell me to man up and learn game. The chicks that turn my head ain't going to respond to game from me. You may as well tell me how I can 'game' my way into getting the England soccer manager to pick me to play for England.

[Slim Shady]

Since you're a pom, this is even more appropriate

[The Beast1]

Seeing a stunning girl gives me the drive to want to be as well connected, wealthy, and awesome as possible. I want a 9+ to look at me with doe eyes and want no one else in the world. Men fall in love with a woman's personality, women fall in love with a man's resources.

With game and time all of us can get women that will never want to leave us. We are the patriarchy gentlemen. Even die hard feminists love a strong father figure with resources.

[cardguy]

@Slim Shady - lol - man I try and open up. And this is what I get.

[OMYG]

Im a pretty young guy and I get where your coming from. Since im not even 21 yet I walk by bars or even go in clubs and cant get a drink and that already ruins my opportunity with a girl.

But like frenchie said I think it drives me to be a better man and get to that level one day.

Likewise when it happens in the day and the circumstances arent in my favor to approach I simply tell myself theres a cuter/hotter chick out there (abundance mentality) that I might get a chance at so that eases it a bit.

As for a girl being out of my league I let go of that preconceived idea of a girl being out of my league, if I believe she is out of my league then she already is. I think it was MikeCF who said in the McQueen podcast that sometimes you just have to drop that brick that has been holding you back or dragging you down. And doing it physically sometimes does help.

As for your situation it's completely understandable and I have felt it but I feel like I am over it, its all in our mind, atleast from what I have experienced.

[Yeti]

There's a lot to be said for gaming 7's and 8's rather than 9's and 10's. That may be the right tradeoff between beauty and the anxiety and hard work to maintain it that such a quality generally requires.

My two cents.

[Roosh]

Just a friendly reminder not to do "click bait" type of headlines.

[The Lizard of Oz]

cardguy, I think that any real man is enraged and incited by the sight of a supremely sexually desirable female. That's as it should be.

You ask, what good is a hot girl that isn't going to fuck me.

I feel that it's great to see a truly hot girl for the following reasons:

I love the thing itself. I love pussy of the highest quality and every hot girl is both like all others and brings something completely different. I want to look at her skin, her ass, her tits, what her face looks like when she's smiling and (far more importantly) when she isn't. I want to understand every new piece of pussy that comes before my eyes -- how would you fuck her given the chance? What is the best position. If she was a whore who had to come to your place, how would you have her dress?

There are so many different things to think about -- but it's not as if they all go through your mind mechanically. The work of trying to understand the girl as a sexual object gets done by instinct.

What good is it if you're not going to fuck this particular girl?

It's always good to concentrate on the thing that you love and try to understand it better. For one thing, because you will fuck other girls at other times, and the more you try to understand each one that passes before you, the more you'll enjoy fucking them -- because your relation to sexuality and to its possibilities will have been deepened by the unrelenting avidity with which you fasten upon every specimen that passes before you.

Be the butcher that looks at every cow grazing on the pasture and thinks about how that specific hunk of meat should be cut and hung out to dry, and just what flavor, however modest, could be wrung from the porterhouse.

Think about it this way. We walk through the world often dulled to its myriad possibilities, absorbed in the trivia of our own life and our own psychology. So much of what passes us by we miss one way or another.

It is a great privilege therefore to have a particular kind of object -- a sexually desirable female -- that we cannot help but take note of. It wakes us from the dream of self absorption, and shoves the rude and terrible realities of a tight wet cunt, a pair of 18 year old boobs and a tiny pink asshole in front of our eyes. It's good -- because only by entering into an intense relation to things in the world other than ourselves can we start to understand these things, and through them, understand and appreciate the world as it is. And it is by doing that that our relation to life deepens and we have a chance to truly enjoy it.

The key is not to retreat from this incitement back to the prison of one's own psychology. Forget about how you "feel", your frustrations etc. Take advantage of being incited to try to further your understanding of the thing that you are so fundamentally drawn to.

As for being "depressed" -- the real hallmark of depression is when a hot girl means less than nothing to you. That's when you might really have a problem.

[Grit]

Here's where I think the depression comes from:

You attribute any failure to some rationalization, but you have no idea what qualifies as a good or bad rationalization.

For example,

"I'm not good looking" (and therefore I cannot approach/sex/wife that girl)

might be just as handicapping a thought as

"I have a board meeting in ten minutes." (and therefore I cannot approach/sex/wife that girl)

You could easily argue to skip the board meeting, have a ten minute chat, insta-date at a coffee shop, and get the bang. Or you could argue how important that board meeting is to making money, having a strongly defined career, etc. Not knowing what is 'right' or what option to choose makes you depressed. The power of young pussy makes even CEOs question what they are doing.

You realize that you have no objective idea what constitutes a good rationale for doing the approach. You soon realize you have no objective idea how your actions correlate with the results you want. I bet every CEO thinks at one point: " Teenage girls are banging soccer players. I want to bang teenage girls. How did I get here?"

You need to make the mental jump from "I have no idea how my actions correlate with the results I want" to "No man has an idea how their actions correlate to the results they want."

Acknowledging this doesn't mean you are an anarchist, if you have to make the next step, which is thinking "I have no idea how my actions correlate with the results I want, but I believe they are worthy to deserve the results I want."

That is probably the foundational evolution for confidence as an evolutionary biological trait. It is why even surf bums living on government checks can be sexy. Why people remember the names of bums like Jesus Christ; a carpenter declared himself King of the universe, and gave tautologically confident reasoning why it is true.

Such is the nature of female choosiness.

You are right that there is no right answer. This is the struggle of civilization, which seeks to curtail female sexual choice, because women believe in confidence more than achievement.

[cardguy]

Nice responses - and apologies to Roosh for the crappy title for the thread! [Thanks for the edit!]

[cardguy]

In a recent thread I spoke about how - as a man - I actually enjoy harsh reality and bitter truths.

So - please guys - humour me for a second.

Is it not possible that in any situation you can care to imagine - I might, just possibly, have absolutely zero chance until the day the earth is swallowed by the sun with a chick like this?



or



I know. I must be drunk - the idea that on a wet Tuesday morning I couldn't use my looks and charm to swoop these girls off their feet seems insane. Right?

Exactly. Let's get real here. I have zero chance with a chick like that.

And sadly for me - I only find the hottest girls attractive.

So - I really don't think there is a way of talking me out of the feelings I have. You may as well try and convince me that Santa Claus exists.

I share the burden of every man. For I too - am a man...

[Maserati]

Those girls are not 9-10s. lol

[el mechanico]

Buy a boat and a weedwacker blender and head to bikini island.

[Christian McQueen]

You're either:

1. Trolling

Or

2. Have such limited self-beliefs, that it doesn't matter what any of us tell you, you'll continue to wallow in depression over a situation you DO have control of, IF you choose to.

You haven't give us an exact reason why you believe you don't have a chance with 9's and 10's (which those girls in your examples are 7.5-8). How you're inflating the girls looks on the 1-10 scale, may also have to do with you inflating your own self doubt.

Elaborate more on why you don't think you're good enough. Get specific so we can help.

[cardguy]

I'm not trolling.

And - I can't be the only guy who sees chicks in the street who are stunning. And for various legitimate reasons thinks that it will never go any further than that.

[Christian McQueen]

"various legitimate reasons"

^Name them.

[Quintus Curtius]

^^^
All right, all right, we get it, Cardguy. Now tell us what "legitimate reasons" you have that "it will never go any further" than that.

Once you give us a list of your reasons/excuses, we will refute each and every one.

No matter how you slice and dice it, life involves a lot of suffering and doing shit we don't want to do. But you're strapped into a seat on this little roller-coaster ride, and there's no getting off. So you might as well have some fun.

Fuck it. You need to look the world squarely in its beady, reptilian eyes and say, "FUCK YOU." A dash of dickishness is the essential ingredient in life's bitter gumbo.

Yeah, maybe you'll never be a Kennedy or a Rockefeller. I won't be either. I'm an olive skinned guy with a big nose, big feet, and who talks too much. So fucking what? Welcome to the universe of the real. But confidence trumps all.

The reality is that the majority of the girls you talk to will not want to bang you anyway. It's just the law of numbers. Get over it. You can't keep manufacturing excuses for not participating in life.

[OMYG]

I think as a man we have all experienced that, but maybe not to the deep level your describing. I mean I really dont believe any girl is out of my league and although our experiences can be different maybe there is something limiting you to believe that.

This reminds me of that 300 Rise of an Empire article. Instead of feeling down when I see a girl like that it pumps me and fuels my drive to approach or lay a women like that. Like in the article on epf the comments stated how when a man sees a mountain he want to climb it while when a woman sees one she makes excuses or blames external factors why she wont reach the top.

IMO theres something limiting you internally.