[Spartan]

OK, so I was looking back at my life after some feedback I've gotten on another thread of mine.

Here's my problem- I think I'm worthless.

I scored 98th percentile on the MCAT, yet I think I'm stupid.

After years of obsessive workouts and some "vitamin" use, I get comments on my physical appearance, yet I still think I'm a fat slob.

I was elected as Vice President of my fraternity at a large university, yet I still think I can't make friends or hold a conversation.

I recently came back from the FSU on trip where I met with a gorgeous blond. She was flirting with me and was clearly interested. I didn't make my move. Why? I wasn't certain she would want a guy like me. I was a pussy.

I think I've got the solution to almost all my game issues- I just need to say "fuck it" and be super agressive. Say "I deserve this" and just fucking take it.
I saw this old, ugly dude hitting on this cute young girl on my trip...and he was getting somewhere. He wasn't smooth, classy, or nuanced...he was groping the shit out of the girl then kissing her.

So, next time I have a date. Makes some conversation at a cafe, go for a walk, touch her or hold her hand, whatever it is..just do it agressively and with confidence. We pause at a scenic spot (monument or river)..grabe her by her neck/head and pull her in for a kiss. This isn't the US where a girl will accuse of rape, not acting like I already have her is the only way to lose her.

So: agressive, take what I want, just say "fuck it" and grab it.
Thoughts.

[BortimusPrime]

Ultimately you have to alter your ego such that you're only trying to impress yourself, not anyone else. Once you achieve a zen state where the criticisms of others wash over you with no effect, you'll find life is a lot more fun. But don't listen to me, I still sulk for a day if someone says something unkind about my hair.

[Spartan]

(01-28-2012 06:31 PM)BortimusPrime Wrote:  

Ultimately you have to alter your ego such that you're only trying to impress yourself, not anyone else. Once you achieve a zen state where the criticisms of others wash over you with no effect, you'll find life is a lot more fun. But don't listen to me, I still sulk for a day if someone says something unkind about my hair.

Hmm.. the thing is people say good things to me, for the most part. Its me who's doing the criticizing!

If I was a teacher I'd give myself an F, if I was a judge I'd find myself guilty, and if I was God I'd send my ass straight to hell.

[worldwidetraveler]

Check out the book "Authenticate Happiness." It is a book on what they call "Positive Psychology". It is pretty interesting and talks about several studies of happiness.

Part of the book discusses something that may help you out. Basically, if someone tells us or accuses us of something negative we automatically defend ourselves. Well, for the most part. The problem is when we say something or accuse ourselves of something negative we don't defend ourselves as if a stranger said the same thing. You can condition yourself to defend yourself even when you are the accuser.

Pretty interesting stuff. I am still in the middle of reading it but do recommend it.

[ElJefe]

(01-28-2012 06:36 PM)Spartan Wrote:  

(01-28-2012 06:31 PM)BortimusPrime Wrote:  

Ultimately you have to alter your ego such that you're only trying to impress yourself, not anyone else. Once you achieve a zen state where the criticisms of others wash over you with no effect, you'll find life is a lot more fun. But don't listen to me, I still sulk for a day if someone says something unkind about my hair.

Hmm.. the thing is people say good things to me, for the most part. Its me who's doing the criticizing!

If I was a teacher I'd give myself an F, if I was a judge I'd find myself guilty, and if I was God I'd send my ass straight to hell.

It seems like the past few days you've been very eager to post questions without seeking out the answers first or asking yourself "why on Earth am I asking this?". You also have been talking a lot about finding a wife/life-time companion. Did you just get dumped or having a dry spell?

This tells me you're not really looking for answers. If you were, you would do more research and give yourself time to think things through and be critical about your motives. You wrote that you took a break from medical school to check out EE and now you're thinking/talking about making a major life-decision by asking people you don't know on a forum you don't seem to have investigated very deeply.

I don't get the feeling you've given yourself time to reflect, you just seem desperate for something to happen. You're posting and trolling and asking loads of questions without thinking about what it is you're really looking for. Reading your posts I get the feeling you're about to explode from pent-up anxiety.

To me, it doesn't seem like your looking for a wife. Its more like you're looking for friendship/companionship on one hand, and to get laid on the other.

Don't make some other person you're goal. You're staking your self-esteem on what they do that way. Make yourself your goal.

PS. Or you're just a troll. In all instances it's time to stop posting and start reading more.

[Spartan]

(01-28-2012 06:50 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

Check out the book "Authenticate Happiness." It is a book on what they call "Positive Psychology". It is pretty interesting and talks about several studies of happiness.

Part of the book discusses something that may help you out. Basically, if someone tells us or accuses us of something negative we automatically defend ourselves. Well, for the most part. The problem is when we say something or accuse ourselves of something negative we don't defend ourselves as if a stranger said the same thing. You can condition yourself to defend yourself even when you are the accuser.

Pretty interesting stuff. I am still in the middle of reading it but do recommend it.

I took a quick look at it and it looks interesting. Thanks for the recommendation.

[lurker123123]

(01-28-2012 07:11 PM)ElJefe Wrote:  

Don't make some other person you're goal. You're staking your self-esteem on what they do that way. Make yourself your goal.

this type of advice is always gold