[BostonBMW]

I really admire Roosh's website and this forum has some really amazing members. I brought and read Bang, but apparently not enough to fully apply the principles.

Before I describe to you my epic failure tonight, some background: I'm in my late 20s, fairly tall, athletic, of Pakistani/Persian heritage. I don't think that I look good, maybe average on a GOOD day. I do make enough money to to be going out a lot more. I have dated girls off and on, however my current dry spell dates back to Feb 2009, when I last dated a college girl.

Onwards to this evening: One of my friends, a really outgoing guy (does not know the Game) invited me out to party. I was pretty tired coming home from working but really tried to step out of my 'safe' element and took a shower, got dressed, headed out. It took me a while to find out where my friend was so I pretty much meandered through the club, not entirely uncomfortable but not opening with women either.

When I found him on the dance floor he introduced me to his friends (2 girls, 1 guy), I politely said hello to them and went of to the bar to get a drink. On my way there I noticed this hottie who was with a friend. After getting my drink, I made my way back on the dance floor, saw an opening when her friend was dancing with this dude. I went up to her brought out my hand as to reel her on the dance floor..she shook her head and said no. Right then and there I felt like the spotlight was on me and the whole world was watching. Mind you, I don't think I can dance but really wanted to make an effort.

So after that I felt so dejected that I went back to the bar ordered a strong drink, finished it and went to falafel place for some food, hopped in a cab and went home. I feel like a little b!tch for doing all of this.

Now I know you guys are very much advanced in your abilities to pick up women, but please give me some constructive criticism for next time (oh yes there will be next time). I know how much I sucked tonight, so I am thinking of doing a few things:

- I'm athletic, as in thin but I should be hitting the gym.
- I don't know how to dance, so should I take classes? I'm embarrassed to say that I think I might be the worst student.
- Should I start making friends with girls? just friends who I can go out with, try to improve my game with them. Friends I can make oh yea, it's a different story finding girls to bang.

To encapsulate everything: Help!

[Kona]

"I was pretty tired coming home from working but really tried"

Brah, listen to your body. You were tired and had to "really try" to get out? You don't realize it but that projects. You also sound a little depressed. Probably due to fatigue.

Keep in mind that even in your weakened condition, you still had the stones to shoot at something.

Aloha!

[BostonBMW]

(08-23-2009 02:13 AM)Kona Wrote:  

"I was pretty tired coming home from working but really tried"

Brah, listen to your body. You were tired and had to "really try" to get out? You don't realize it but that projects. You also sound a little depressed. Probably due to fatigue.

Keep in mind that even in your weakened condition, you still had the stones to shoot at something.

Aloha!

Thanks Kona! I mean I didn't want to make "tired" an excuse for not going out, besides my friend, who keeps inviting me out, would have stopped doing it if I keep saying no. I guess i had thought that I was going to meet him at the bar/lounge where it would have been easier for me to approach. Clubs are pretty loud and with dancing going on, I'm not sure if my game cold be strong there.

Yea I totally sounded depressed last night because I felt tired/rejected. Feeling much better now. I think half of the game is internal, so I need get my stuff straight. Hitting the gym starting this week. Besides work, I'm working on my masters thesis part time, so I going to be in the library the other days of the week.

Believe it or not, I don't seem to have approach anxiety, its just the rejection anxiety that kicks in. Thinking back, I think I ejected early also because of other girls seeing me get shot down and perhaps 'ruining' my chances with them.

Anyhow, if you guys have any tips or thoughts, please let me know.

[Roosh]

So you got one plain vanilla rejection and then went home? Am I missing something?

[CJ]

This would be like giving up in a poker tournament after losing a few chips in the first hand.

You shouldn't be out trying to game girls if you can't take rejection. In fact, I can't remember where I read it (probably Roosh), but getting rejected first thing to start the night is not a bad thing, as you've got that first rejection out of the way and you can build up from there.

[Kona]

Maybe there's a silver lining here...
In San Diego 2007, I had a one nighter with a girl who worked a mobile falafel cart. In terms of looks, attitude, sexual prowess, and general vibe between us, this girl still remains in my all time top 5. Her name was Maggie. I began a 4 month deployment the following day. I left SD without proper contact info for her. I have since been back but have been unable to find the cart....

So, did you get a look at the falafel salesperson???

Aloha!

[Lumiere]

Why would you care so much about the reaction of the first girl?

If I am tired I usually regard the first few sets as warmup sets and I am cool with whatever reaction I get from the chicks.

Just move onto next set.

[BostonBMW]

(08-23-2009 01:16 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

So you got one plain vanilla rejection and then went home? Am I missing something?

That pretty much sums it up. I don't have approach anxiety, just believed that the rejection lowered my chances with other girls who may have seen me get dissed? Is this rejection anxiety?

[BostonBMW]

(08-23-2009 02:20 PM)CJ Wrote:  

This would be like giving up in a poker tournament after losing a few chips in the first hand.

You shouldn't be out trying to game girls if you can't take rejection. In fact, I can't remember where I read it (probably Roosh), but getting rejected first thing to start the night is not a bad thing, as you've got that first rejection out of the way and you can build up from there.

See here is the thing: I have read the same thing and I understand that rejection is part of the process but I don't know how to reconcile the fact that other women (potential targets) may have seen the epic failure and would think of me as a loser as well.

Any thoughts?

[BostonBMW]

(08-23-2009 04:35 PM)Kona Wrote:  

Maybe there's a silver lining here...
In San Diego 2007, I had a one nighter with a girl who worked a mobile falafel cart. In terms of looks, attitude, sexual prowess, and general vibe between us, this girl still remains in my all time top 5. Her name was Maggie. I began a 4 month deployment the following day. I left SD without proper contact info for her. I have since been back but have been unable to find the cart....

So, did you get a look at the falafel salesperson???

Aloha!

Hmm Kona, you raise an interesting point. I did speak with the salesperson, we did have a pretty good vibe going on while the cook was making that falafel. We talked about her late night shift (they close at 3 AM), what sluts wear, and drunkenness. Don't know her story but I do eat there a few tmes a week (near my work).

I really don't have 'social small talk' issues with women. Just surprised myself for being a little b!tch for running away like that. In hindsight, I should've had the falafel (was crazy hungry) and went to some other bar where it was quieter and started opening up to ladies over there.

This was literally my first time going out with Roosh's 'Bang' in mind. Next time I'm meeting with friends, going on a few solo missions, maybe switching up the venues...meeting back up with them if I don't succeed.

[BostonBMW]

(08-23-2009 06:11 PM)Lumiere Wrote:  

Why would you care so much about the reaction of the first girl?

If I am tired I usually regard the first few sets as warmup sets and I am cool with whatever reaction I get from the chicks.

Just move onto next set.

See I don't/didn't care about the girl. I just though that it put the spotlight on me as a loser.

You make a good point. I'll see how this upcoming weekend goes. I think the more comfort I build the better off I will be. I just might do a little day game to see how the ladies respond.

[Kona]

WAS HER NAME MAGGIE????

[BostonBMW]

(08-23-2009 07:01 PM)Kona Wrote:  

WAS HER NAME MAGGIE????

HAHA I don't think so, she told me her name but I forgot it.

[Kona]

(08-23-2009 07:28 PM)BostonBMW Wrote:  

(08-23-2009 07:01 PM)Kona Wrote:  

WAS HER NAME MAGGIE????

HAHA I don't think so, she told me her name but I forgot it.

Please find out... I think if it was her though you'd remember.

Now you didn't say anything in the beginning of your post about the falafel girl. You were to caught up in the club rejection. You were more comfortable at the falafel place and were vibing. Did your rejection psych you out and you missed with the falafel girl also?

[thegmanifesto]

Kona,

Ha. I have never ever seen a "mobile falafel cart" in San Diego.

Where was it?

Sounds kind of good.

-MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

[Roosh]

To succeed in the game you're going to have to do dozens and dozens of approaches. There's many guys who are in the hundreds. One approach is not going to teach you enough to be successful.

Next time you go out, approach AT LEAST 10 girls before going home. Only by desensitizing yourself to the process will you make any headway. If you can do one approach, then you can do 10. They get easier as the night goes on.

[BostonBMW]

(08-23-2009 07:39 PM)Kona Wrote:  

(08-23-2009 07:28 PM)BostonBMW Wrote:  

(08-23-2009 07:01 PM)Kona Wrote:  

WAS HER NAME MAGGIE????

HAHA I don't think so, she told me her name but I forgot it.

Please find out... I think if it was her though you'd remember.

Now you didn't say anything in the beginning of your post about the falafel girl. You were to caught up in the club rejection. You were more comfortable at the falafel place and were vibing. Did your rejection psych you out and you missed with the falafel girl also?

Yes, I will see if her name is maggie. I'd be surprised to find her move from SD to Boston, but hey you never know.

The rejection did psyche me out and honestly I was really hungry and tired but felt pretty comfortable at the middle eastern joint, because I have eaten there before and was surprised to see it open that late.

I don't know if I 'missed' with the falafel girl because I wasn't even thinking of gaming her. I like to talk to people 'working' especially with waitresses, taxi drivers, bar tenders etc. Most of the time I learn something new from them (busiest times at restaurants, proper way of flagging a cab) but never think of that as 'game' mostly because I'm not in that mindset with them.

Take bartenders for example: I'm usually there before the crowds come in so I just take it easy and chat with them (doesn't matter if its a guy or girl). The advantage of talking beforehand is 1. I feel comfortable at the bar/club/lounge because I "know" someone 2. I get my drinks faster.

[Kona]

MPM,

My darling Maggie was set up outside a place called the Star Bar. I think the neighborhood is called Gaslight Square(?). Maybe 10 mins up 5 from Naval Station SD.

Aloha!

[BostonBMW]

(08-23-2009 07:47 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

To succeed in the game you're going to have to do dozens and dozens of approaches. There's many guys who are in the hundreds. One approach is not going to teach you enough to be successful.

Next time you go out, approach AT LEAST 10 girls before going home. Only by desensitizing yourself to the process will you make any headway. If you can do one approach, then you can do 10. They get easier as the night goes on.

Thanks Roosh!

I will make it a point to approach at least 10 girls before going home. What do you think of venue change after approaching 2 different girls at a given club? i can conceivably hit a few spot on a Saturday night.

[thegmanifesto]

(08-23-2009 08:00 PM)Kona Wrote:  

MPM,

My darling Maggie was set up outside a place called the Star Bar. I think the neighborhood is called Gaslight Square(?). Maybe 10 mins up 5 from Naval Station SD.

Aloha!

Yeah, know that bar well. Never seen the falafels though.

(Fyi: It's Gaslamp Quarter.)

-MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

[Roosh]

I think you care too much about what other people think of your attempts. Only leave if there are no approachable girls.

[Kona]

"Yeah, know that bar well. Never seen the falafels though."

Between Jan. and Apr. 2007, did you ever see a smooth redhead in summer whites with a steel appliance coming out of his left shin?

[Tama]

(08-23-2009 09:15 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

I think you care too much about what other people think of your attempts. Only leave if there are no approachable girls.

This is exactly right.

Boston, trust me, I understand. You're imagination is your own worst enemy. And I can tell by the amount that you're writing that you're thinking too much.

How do you find out if other women will shoot you down based on you getting shot down by another chick?

Approach them.

Consistently trying to fuck girls is the alpha and omega of game. Not that I'm an authority, but think about it: if you lack fear, success is just a matter of time, and everything else is just about improving your batting average.

I'm giving you the same advice that I give myself: just fucking go out there and approach, approach, approach.

[CJ]

(08-23-2009 07:47 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

To succeed in the game you're going to have to do dozens and dozens of approaches. There's many guys who are in the hundreds. One approach is not going to teach you enough to be successful.

Next time you go out, approach AT LEAST 10 girls before going home. Only by desensitizing yourself to the process will you make any headway. If you can do one approach, then you can do 10. They get easier as the night goes on.

Ya, it's like drinking. I got so much experience in college, I'm now desensitized to it and can drink all my friends under the table.

As for Boston, just keep plugging away, even if you're just starting off saying "Hi" to these girls. There's other articles, etc on making yourself more comfortable, but you really need to keep approaching in order to gain ground.

[thegmanifesto]

(08-23-2009 09:22 PM)Kona Wrote:  

"Yeah, know that bar well. Never seen the falafels though."

Between Jan. and Apr. 2007, did you ever see a smooth redhead in summer whites with a steel appliance coming out of his left shin?

Ha. No.

I typically go to San Diego in summertime for the racetrack:

http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2008/07/del...rt-ii.html

-MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com