[ElJefe]

The past few months I've been out on quite a few dates. I generally chat, then get personal by asking boulder questions and making bolder statements, introduce a comfort building routine, and then I pull her in for the kiss which I've been lucky enough to get on about 90% of dates I actually go on...

To my enormous chagrin, while this used to be enough for the 6's and 7's I have been going after until now, it no longer is for the 8's and up.

After a successful 1st date, often at a bar, I decide to end the date on a high note. I then get a "That was really fun" or "I want to see you again". For the 6's and 7's, a few days later I give her a ring and invite her over for dinner, where I get the bang.

But with the 8's, I never hear from them again - I give her a ring, send a text if she doesn't answer (usually: "'sup? Give me a ring"), and then... nothing.

EVEN after rather successful 1st dates with plenty of comfort and rapport. Has ANYONE tried anything similar?? It's starting to get quite frustrating. What is it that allows me to kiss her on the first date and get compliments but fails to lead to a second date????? Should I have pushed harder for a bang on the 1st date inspite of bad logistics? Or does she decide I'm too alpha or too beta (what girl dumps a guy for being too alpha??? I reason that's stupid, so it must be beta - but then why did the first date go well?)..

Thanks in advance.

[Blaze Frazier]

6's and 7's (I hate rating women overall) usually don't get too many guys chasing them, so they're more into latching on to the one who shows them the most interest.

When it comes to 8's and above, either your game must be really tight (since she's going to get offers for dick every day) OR you close the deal the night you meet her or go out with her.

If you're in a position to succeed with those hotter women, do it. Don't END the date on a high note, be the high note. Make her want to call you every single day after you plow her on the hood of your car.

[ElJefe]

Ok, so the moral of the story is press for the lay even if logistics are poor?

I think a lot of the time I just forget I'm competing with hoardes of other cocks, so I overestimate her interest (viz-a-vis other guys). Nonetheless, I want to find out if some of that good, old-fashioned "I-won't-take-no-for-an-answer" and confrontation might be the way to go.

So I'll start going after this latest debacle again tonight.

[germanico]

Dont end the date "on a high note". Ride that shit until you get her to bed or until you get blown out. ABC. Always Be Closing.

[Riker]

Yea always push, if you drop her off, use the "can I use your bathroom" line. Or invite her over for a last drink or whatever. I don't think dinner is a good second date... go for drinks again late at night or maybe a club to dance and get real close.

[Neo]

Yes, this has happened to me and I disagree with the other posters. Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it, you can run your best game and she still disappears.

It depends on the girl whether you should push and go all out for the one night stand or not. Some girls straight up will not bang a guy on the first date and take longer to bang, despite what anyone says. It can be a screening factor for you if you like(i.e. if I push and get rejected she'll be too much work for me anyway), I've realized that even if sex does not happen immediately if a sexual connection is there, sex is a real possibility in the future.

A lot of girls are at different points in their lives, even is she has had one night stand before, she may not be open tonight, it's just the way it is. Since we in the forum were not there, my best advice would be to keep gaming and look for patterns. Did you act or do something on all these dates where they flaked for the second date? The answers are there, it's just a matter of time until you figure it out, or it could just be a bad streak with the wrong type of girls.

[scorpio]

You're in Denmark, right? That makes me jealous as hell.

Push for the SNL, dude. These birds have limited attention spans and are always shopping for the better deal.

[Iceinthewater]

(11-21-2011 01:26 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

The past few months I've been out on quite a few dates. I generally chat, then get personal by asking boulder questions and making bolder statements, introduce a comfort building routine, and then I pull her in for the kiss which I've been lucky enough to get on about 90% of dates I actually go on...

To my enormous chagrin, while this used to be enough for the 6's and 7's I have been going after until now, it no longer is for the 8's and up.

After a successful 1st date, often at a bar, I decide to end the date on a high note. I then get a "That was really fun" or "I want to see you again". For the 6's and 7's, a few days later I give her a ring and invite her over for dinner, where I get the bang.

But with the 8's, I never hear from them again - I give her a ring, send a text if she doesn't answer (usually: "'sup? Give me a ring"), and then... nothing.

EVEN after rather successful 1st dates with plenty of comfort and rapport. Has ANYONE tried anything similar?? It's starting to get quite frustrating. What is it that allows me to kiss her on the first date and get compliments but fails to lead to a second date????? Should I have pushed harder for a bang on the 1st date inspite of bad logistics? Or does she decide I'm too alpha or too beta (what girl dumps a guy for being too alpha??? I reason that's stupid, so it must be beta - but then why did the first date go well?)..

Thanks in advance.

Key word: routine. There's a lack of authenticity. You're amusing in the moment, but when she goes home, she doesn't feel connected to you anymore.

I can tell that you lack that X Factor that is the common trait with guys who are good with women - it's a deep authenticity that women can feel but aren't always consciously aware of. I've made a science of this xfactor and after several years of thinking about it, my opinion hasn't changed.

Try cutting your routine stuff and just improvise for awhile. Focus on actually learning about her, not about YOUR routine.

Also, try getting a girl alone before going for the kiss, and then escalating to sex. Girls give guys goodnight kisses all the time. A kiss isn't shit. If you're on your couch and you start kissing a girl, the next step is your dick comes out.

That's what I do anyway. Girls like it.

[ElJefe]

The problem, I suspect, is another dude.

I find the authenticity idea really interesting - but I always thought that was my strength. I'm a closet geek and know enough about enough subjects to participate meaningfully so I get the girl absolutely wide-eyed. It's something else. Maybe a deeper emotional connection is lacking. But how do I find out what exactly is missing. Not enough laughing?

Goodnight kiss is a understatement. I'm talking tongue and I make a point to grab her hair - words from her: "wow, you're quick" whereafter she eagerly sticks her tongue down my throat. She was pulling at me practically, but I decided to cut it short because... well, I thought that'd be a good idea. Guess not.

So... I know what I could've done. I think the reason for no answer must be heavy competition. The solution is more aggression, cave-man style and deeper connection. Bravo... this is what game is all about.

PS. I sent a second text last night to the latest debacle. No answer of course. Given my own impression of her, I almost CAN'T believe anyone would change so quickly, given the affection shown by her earlier and the "tests" I ran on her where I screened for "slutiness", etc., so I went ahead and sent her a mail, too - just in case she lost her phone this weekend. Basically said I had a hard time believing she was that type, so I wanted to find out if it was because she lost her phone or whether she was just a flake.

[RandalGraves]

Two texts and an email without any response? Be careful of contacting her too much and scaring her off with neediness. Remember, if she's hot and has options, she will be repelled by a guy who appears to care too much and would want to hold her back with exclusivity. Shoulda just texted once and got to work on the other girls in the meantime.

[ElJefe]

(11-22-2011 08:08 AM)RandalGraves Wrote:  

Two texts and an email without any response? Be careful of contacting her too much and scaring her off with neediness. Remember, if she's hot and has options, she will be repelled by a guy who appears to care too much and would want to hold her back with exclusivity. Shoulda just texted once and got to work on the other girls in the meantime.

Way too late for that bro...

But this baby sunk not because of any perceived neediness. It was dead way before then. This thread is about figuring out what that could've been. the pain in the ass is that this has happened to me several times. It's like with the hotter chicks I trip more often riiiiiiight at the finish line. Frustrating is the word.

[Menace]

Sometimes I try and imagine what it must be like to be a hot girl (an 8 or above) but as a guy. In this bizzarro world you have pussy thrown in your face all the time. Girls are always coming up to you and trying to talk to you, or buy you drinks, or tell you you're hot. There is so much pussy noise that it's hard to filter any particular one out. You will agree to go out with one girl, maybe not even because she is special, but because in the moment she asked you were feeling her and she was hot enough. You're into her during the date, but your mind easily wanders because you know that as sure as the sun rises in the East, tomorrow there will be more pussy thrown at you. So if she doesn't put out during the date you could care less because there will always be more and more. Why bother texting her back when she wants to see you again when you can have someone new, and why the hell did you go out with her in the first place, was she really that amazing? This may be what it's like for 8's.

[ElJefe]

(11-22-2011 10:44 AM)Menace Wrote:  

Sometimes I try and imagine what it must be like to be a hot girl (an 8 or above) but as a guy. In this bizzarro world you have pussy thrown in your face all the time. Girls are always coming up to you and trying to talk to you, or buy you drinks, or tell you you're hot. There is so much pussy noise that it's hard to filter any particular one out. You will agree to go out with one girl, maybe not even because she is special, but because in the moment she asked you were feeling her and she was hot enough. You're into her during the date, but your mind easily wanders because you know that as sure as the sun rises in the East, tomorrow there will be more pussy thrown at you. So if she doesn't put out during the date you could care less because there will always be more and more. Why bother texting her back when she wants to see you again when you can have someone new, and why the hell did you go out with her in the first place, was she really that amazing? This may be what it's like for 8's.

Yeah, but if I were pussy, I'd be the most amazing pussy ever.

Or we could just end this conversation here with this very weird scenario....


PS. I agree totally. I figure lost out to tough competition because I didn't make it to "8====> n vagina"