Just a little guide on networking & all the stuff that I've used over the years. Networking is an immensely important skill in life, whether it's for business or just meeting girls, so I hope this sheds some light.
Who do you want to meet?
The first step is to identify who you actually want to meet. Maybe it's the CEO of a company you'd like to work for, maybe it's a celebrity you've always wanted to meet. It could even just be a hot girl you go to school with. Whoever it may be, start out by identifying them. If you can't narrow things down right away, make it broad: pick an industry you want to break into and do a little research -- find out who the key players are.
Getting into their social circle
I think the easiest/most effective way to get close to someone is by starting on the outside of their social circle and slowly working your way in. If you can win over all of the people around the person you're trying to meet, then most of your work will be done for you when you finally get around to approaching your initial target.
I used to do this all the time in high school to meet hot girls. First I'd become friendly with their less attractive friends and get them to go to bat for me (since they would be much easier to befriend/attract). They would introduce me to their cuter friends and eventually, I'd be hanging out with the hottest girl(s) in the group. Best of all, since I started on the outside of their social circle and worked my way in, everyone was already friends with me -- I had instant 'social proof'. If you start by immediately talking to the target, their social circle will be very cautious and you'll have no support.
So, first step is to identify the 'lower level' people in a social circle and start out by approaching them. For an example in business: let's say you're trying to meet a famous author or CEO who you'd like to do business with. High value people like this almost always have an assistant as their 'gatekeeper' to cockblock and keep the masses of people from talking directly to their boss.
The thing about the assistant (in this case), is that they work for a huge public figure. Chances are, they want a little bit of the fame or action themselves. So, you could offer to help them with their goals (building their website, introducing them to people, whatever). As long as you're doing something that offers value/helps them and shows them that you're on their side.
Growing the network
Once you've become close with the 'lower-level' people in a network, it's all about letting that connection grow. Invite the person out to a dinner party or some sort of gathering where you introduce them to other people who might be of value to them. Always be offering value and setting yourself aside as someone who's different from the rest of the crowd. Chances are, if you play this well, they'll begin to reciprocate what you've done and begin introducing you around their personal networks and will offer some value back to you in return. Be sure to always deliver on your promises. If you don't, then you are worthless.
Also, try to always be social. I can't even begin to tell you how many awesome connections I've made just by chance because I decided to talk to the person next to me on a plane or in line at a coffee shop. You never know who you'll run into.
G-Manifesto talks about this -- you've gotta 'lock down' wherever you're posted up. Every moment you're out is another chance to build your social circle.
As a side note, people love to feel important and anything you do to make that happen will set you aside as someone special in the other person's eyes. For example, when I used to invite girls out to parties, even if it would have made sense to just mass text them all, I would take the time to write out a small personal message to them. It made all the difference. In addition to inviting them out to something fun and (if you hype it up a bit) seemingly exclusive, they felt like they were getting a special, personal invitation.
Meeting your target(s)
If you're smooth about everything else and play it well, you'll sooner or later meet whoever it is you initially identified. When you do, it's pretty much the same game as when you met the 'lower value' people in their circle. But to refresh:
- Always offer something. Just like before, make sure you're always a giver of value. Never ask for anything in return. Just by adding them to your personal network will be all you need. Never ask for anything from them. High value people are constantly bombarded by people trying to leech value from them or get something out of them. Don't be that guy.
- Be able to hold your own in a conversation with whoever you meet. I'm assuming if you're on these forums, reading this post then you're probably pretty intelligent. Be sure to always diversify your knowledge and be able to speak on a variety of subjects and make yourself stand out.
- Have something they can see. Because we have the internet and virtually endless amounts of information on people readily available, it makes sense that you should have something out there that they can associate with you. Even if it's just a LinkedIn profile (read YMGs guide) or a personal blog. This will let someone know a little bit about who you are and what you do. Be sure it speaks positively about you.
- Do everything you can to make yourself stand out. Cultivate some interesting hobbies or skills. For example, learn a new language or practice a unique sport/martial art. A few months ago I noticed the guy next to me on a plane reading a book on Judo techniques, I commented that I used to compete in amateur BJJ and we ended up hitting it off. Do everything you can to will set you apart from everyone else. Think about the huge difference between these two:
1. Oh yeah, he's that guy who keeps emailing me asking for stuff… / He's that guy who keeps hitting on me.
2. Oh! He's that kickboxer who runs 2 businesses and is bilingual.
Be unique.
Also, keep in mind a lot of famous/high value people will be busy and it's unlikely they will have a huge amount of time to devote to you right away. The key when you first contact them is to be brief and stay in touch. Only a fool would let valuable connections slip away because he didn't follow up enough or keep the connection alive. Even if it's just dropping an email every now and then to recommend a book/movie or blog post you think they'd like.
----------
So anyway, there's a short but straightforward guide on networking/social circle game. I hope this helped some of guys out. If you have any questions or want to know more, just reply or shoot me a PM! Obviously any other tips/techniques on networking are welcome as well. It's a great skill to have.
Who do you want to meet?
The first step is to identify who you actually want to meet. Maybe it's the CEO of a company you'd like to work for, maybe it's a celebrity you've always wanted to meet. It could even just be a hot girl you go to school with. Whoever it may be, start out by identifying them. If you can't narrow things down right away, make it broad: pick an industry you want to break into and do a little research -- find out who the key players are.
Getting into their social circle
I think the easiest/most effective way to get close to someone is by starting on the outside of their social circle and slowly working your way in. If you can win over all of the people around the person you're trying to meet, then most of your work will be done for you when you finally get around to approaching your initial target.
I used to do this all the time in high school to meet hot girls. First I'd become friendly with their less attractive friends and get them to go to bat for me (since they would be much easier to befriend/attract). They would introduce me to their cuter friends and eventually, I'd be hanging out with the hottest girl(s) in the group. Best of all, since I started on the outside of their social circle and worked my way in, everyone was already friends with me -- I had instant 'social proof'. If you start by immediately talking to the target, their social circle will be very cautious and you'll have no support.
So, first step is to identify the 'lower level' people in a social circle and start out by approaching them. For an example in business: let's say you're trying to meet a famous author or CEO who you'd like to do business with. High value people like this almost always have an assistant as their 'gatekeeper' to cockblock and keep the masses of people from talking directly to their boss.
The thing about the assistant (in this case), is that they work for a huge public figure. Chances are, they want a little bit of the fame or action themselves. So, you could offer to help them with their goals (building their website, introducing them to people, whatever). As long as you're doing something that offers value/helps them and shows them that you're on their side.
Growing the network
Once you've become close with the 'lower-level' people in a network, it's all about letting that connection grow. Invite the person out to a dinner party or some sort of gathering where you introduce them to other people who might be of value to them. Always be offering value and setting yourself aside as someone who's different from the rest of the crowd. Chances are, if you play this well, they'll begin to reciprocate what you've done and begin introducing you around their personal networks and will offer some value back to you in return. Be sure to always deliver on your promises. If you don't, then you are worthless.
Also, try to always be social. I can't even begin to tell you how many awesome connections I've made just by chance because I decided to talk to the person next to me on a plane or in line at a coffee shop. You never know who you'll run into.
G-Manifesto talks about this -- you've gotta 'lock down' wherever you're posted up. Every moment you're out is another chance to build your social circle.
As a side note, people love to feel important and anything you do to make that happen will set you aside as someone special in the other person's eyes. For example, when I used to invite girls out to parties, even if it would have made sense to just mass text them all, I would take the time to write out a small personal message to them. It made all the difference. In addition to inviting them out to something fun and (if you hype it up a bit) seemingly exclusive, they felt like they were getting a special, personal invitation.
Meeting your target(s)
If you're smooth about everything else and play it well, you'll sooner or later meet whoever it is you initially identified. When you do, it's pretty much the same game as when you met the 'lower value' people in their circle. But to refresh:
- Always offer something. Just like before, make sure you're always a giver of value. Never ask for anything in return. Just by adding them to your personal network will be all you need. Never ask for anything from them. High value people are constantly bombarded by people trying to leech value from them or get something out of them. Don't be that guy.
- Be able to hold your own in a conversation with whoever you meet. I'm assuming if you're on these forums, reading this post then you're probably pretty intelligent. Be sure to always diversify your knowledge and be able to speak on a variety of subjects and make yourself stand out.
- Have something they can see. Because we have the internet and virtually endless amounts of information on people readily available, it makes sense that you should have something out there that they can associate with you. Even if it's just a LinkedIn profile (read YMGs guide) or a personal blog. This will let someone know a little bit about who you are and what you do. Be sure it speaks positively about you.
- Do everything you can to make yourself stand out. Cultivate some interesting hobbies or skills. For example, learn a new language or practice a unique sport/martial art. A few months ago I noticed the guy next to me on a plane reading a book on Judo techniques, I commented that I used to compete in amateur BJJ and we ended up hitting it off. Do everything you can to will set you apart from everyone else. Think about the huge difference between these two:
1. Oh yeah, he's that guy who keeps emailing me asking for stuff… / He's that guy who keeps hitting on me.
2. Oh! He's that kickboxer who runs 2 businesses and is bilingual.
Be unique.
Also, keep in mind a lot of famous/high value people will be busy and it's unlikely they will have a huge amount of time to devote to you right away. The key when you first contact them is to be brief and stay in touch. Only a fool would let valuable connections slip away because he didn't follow up enough or keep the connection alive. Even if it's just dropping an email every now and then to recommend a book/movie or blog post you think they'd like.
----------
So anyway, there's a short but straightforward guide on networking/social circle game. I hope this helped some of guys out. If you have any questions or want to know more, just reply or shoot me a PM! Obviously any other tips/techniques on networking are welcome as well. It's a great skill to have.
