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Can't get out of my own head
#1

Can't get out of my own head

I have been studying game for a little over a year now and I have 16 bangs under my belt but the last one I got was what I would consider a 9. I liked her enough to attempt a relationship with her and we dated for about 3 or 4 months before it fell apart. She ended being a very damaged person (abusive past) and it carried over into our relationship and she went cold on me. After studying a bit and realizing that LTR game is a different animal, I realized all the mistakes I made and it really shook my confidence. That was about 6 months ago and I am just at a point now where I am ready to get going again and try a new approach with the new knowledge and experience I have. Problem is, I can't seem to get out of my own head when I am out and trying to have a good time. I put too much pressure on myself and sometimes I just psyche myself out. I am a good looking guy and when I am not in my own head, very sociable and funny. I have problems escalating at times and approaching is difficult for me. I know my weaknesses and what needs to be done, but I can't figure out how to quit overthinking shit and just execute.

Among my friends, I am considered a player because I pull more than pretty much all of them, but it's not good enough. I am on a 2 month dry spell right now (even though I have 2 fuck buddies) and I don't wanna fall back on my fuck buddies - I want new pussy.

Has anyone dealt with this before? I'm definitely a noob and want to master this but I really need tips on how to just get out of my own head and stop being my own cockblock.
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#2

Can't get out of my own head

Quote: (11-05-2011 11:23 AM)Klasmatic Wrote:  

I have been studying game for a little over a year now and I have 16 bangs under my belt but the last one I got was what I would consider a 9. I liked her enough to attempt a relationship with her and we dated for about 3 or 4 months before it fell apart. She ended being a very damaged person (abusive past) and it carried over into our relationship and she went cold on me. After studying a bit and realizing that LTR game is a different animal, I realized all the mistakes I made and it really shook my confidence. That was about 6 months ago and I am just at a point now where I am ready to get going again and try a new approach with the new knowledge and experience I have. Problem is, I can't seem to get out of my own head when I am out and trying to have a good time. I put too much pressure on myself and sometimes I just psyche myself out. I am a good looking guy and when I am not in my own head, very sociable and funny. I have problems escalating at times and approaching is difficult for me. I know my weaknesses and what needs to be done, but I can't figure out how to quit overthinking shit and just execute.

Among my friends, I am considered a player because I pull more than pretty much all of them, but it's not good enough. I am on a 2 month dry spell right now (even though I have 2 fuck buddies) and I don't wanna fall back on my fuck buddies - I want new pussy.

Has anyone dealt with this before? I'm definitely a noob and want to master this but I really need tips on how to just get out of my own head and stop being my own cockblock.


Oh and by the way, I just discovered Roosh V about 2 weeks ago (via Roissy blog) and I just ordered BANG in hopes that it will give me a fresh starting point. Roissy and Roosh V are the best resources I have found out there and I hope to adopt this style of game as it resonates with me now, whereas before my last relationship, it wouldnt have made any sense. that last relationship hardened me and killed my inner beta.
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#3

Can't get out of my own head

I don't get it, you have two fuck buddies, but you're on a 2 month dry spell, this doesn't make any sense? I am guessing you're saying that it's been two months since you've gotten a new notch, if that's the case, I don't know why you care so much if you got two bitches you smash on the regular. Maybe you should just be happy you're getting laid, and not give a fuck, not giving a fuck will surely help your game.
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#4

Can't get out of my own head

Quote: (11-05-2011 11:53 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I don't get it, you have two fuck buddies, but you're on a 2 month dry spell, this doesn't make any sense? I am guessing you're saying that it's been two months since you've gotten a new notch, if that's the case, I don't know why you care so much if you got two bitches you smash on the regular. Maybe you should just be happy you're getting laid, and not give a fuck, not giving a fuck will surely help your game.

I have 2 fuck buddies that I refuse to call anymore because I want to move on. One of them is an EX-gf who I have been fucking on and off for almost 5 years. She is a sweet girl and cute too, I just think it hampers my development if I keep falling back on it. The other is a young chick I used to work with and I never call her. She texts me at late hours on occasion and she comes to my house to fuck. She is not as regular as the other but even so, I want to move past them and get some new pussy because I think it will make me better.
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#5

Can't get out of my own head

and i should mention that the 2 fuck buddies I have were acquired before I started studying game so it doesn't feel as rewarding, if that makes sense.
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#6

Can't get out of my own head

Quote: (11-05-2011 11:56 AM)Klasmatic Wrote:  

Quote: (11-05-2011 11:53 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I don't get it, you have two fuck buddies, but you're on a 2 month dry spell, this doesn't make any sense? I am guessing you're saying that it's been two months since you've gotten a new notch, if that's the case, I don't know why you care so much if you got two bitches you smash on the regular. Maybe you should just be happy you're getting laid, and not give a fuck, not giving a fuck will surely help your game.

I have 2 fuck buddies that I refuse to call anymore because I want to move on. One of them is an EX-gf who I have been fucking on and off for almost 5 years. She is a sweet girl and cute too, I just think it hampers my development if I keep falling back on it. The other is a young chick I used to work with and I never call her. She texts me at late hours on occasion and she comes to my house to fuck. She is not as regular as the other but even so, I want to move past them and get some new pussy because I think it will make me better.

Dude, I'm only at 6, broke and I'm currently fucking JUST an ex-girlfriend. New pussy is a luxury right now, but I'm happier than ever. It could be your life isn't where you want it, or you're trying to find meaning through game, which is the wrong idea. Game has no meaning. Its just one tool of many in your belt to make your life better.

Sympathy for the Devil
___________________
Girls. Music. Life. /end
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#7

Can't get out of my own head

Quote: (11-05-2011 03:41 PM)SFTD Wrote:  

Quote: (11-05-2011 11:56 AM)Klasmatic Wrote:  

Quote: (11-05-2011 11:53 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I don't get it, you have two fuck buddies, but you're on a 2 month dry spell, this doesn't make any sense? I am guessing you're saying that it's been two months since you've gotten a new notch, if that's the case, I don't know why you care so much if you got two bitches you smash on the regular. Maybe you should just be happy you're getting laid, and not give a fuck, not giving a fuck will surely help your game.

I have 2 fuck buddies that I refuse to call anymore because I want to move on. One of them is an EX-gf who I have been fucking on and off for almost 5 years. She is a sweet girl and cute too, I just think it hampers my development if I keep falling back on it. The other is a young chick I used to work with and I never call her. She texts me at late hours on occasion and she comes to my house to fuck. She is not as regular as the other but even so, I want to move past them and get some new pussy because I think it will make me better.

Dude, I'm only at 6, broke and I'm currently fucking JUST an ex-girlfriend. New pussy is a luxury right now, but I'm happier than ever. It could be your life isn't where you want it, or you're trying to find meaning through game, which is the wrong idea. Game has no meaning. Its just one tool of many in your belt to make your life better.

This.

When you have success in other parts of your life, the confidence and positive vibe that lets others know you have something to give becomes obvious. You become more sought after socially.

If you're in a rut - you better sit down for a couple hours, figure out where you want to go, where you are right now, and HOW you're going to get there, and then make a plan. Just the act of sitting down and figuring ourt what you really want is something few people actually do in any serious way. Make it a weekly habit.

A year from now you'll wish you started today
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#8

Can't get out of my own head

I think if I had a steady new stream of pussy, it would all work itself out, hence my dilemma. I need to get past a mental block I have for escalating and approaching. My conversations fizzle out quickly and before you know it, I'm dead in the water.
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#9

Can't get out of my own head

Maybe you care too much, or over-invest in the outcome of your approaches/results. It's also possible that you are going through a serious game phase where you are so into it that it's borderline obsessiveness.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Learn to pay more attention to body language, tonality, and eye contact. Try to learn from your mistakes, and try alternative tactics. Take a break from game, if you are psyching yourself out, overanalyzing, or getting too frustrated.

Manage expectations, sounds like you do alright and have a pretty good notch count, don't expect to become Cassanova over night, also don't put pressure on yourself to get a certain notch count, or beat yourself up if you fumble a good opportunity.

Bang is by far the preeminent game book out there, you will gain a lot from it.

I probably stated a lot of the obvious, but hopefully it helps. More than anything just stop giving a fuck... Stop giving a fuck if you didn't approach that cute girl that caught your eye, stop caring if she was a bitch and you "failed her shit test", don't beat yourself up if you had the "cat in the bag" only to make a rookie mistake and fumble at the end.

Just go with the flow, learn from your mistakes, and keep on going.
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#10

Can't get out of my own head

Quote: (11-05-2011 07:09 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

Maybe you care too much, or over-invest in the outcome of your approaches/results. It's also possible that you are going through a serious game phase where you are so into it that it's borderline obsessiveness.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Learn to pay more attention to body language, tonality, and eye contact. Try to learn from your mistakes, and try alternative tactics. Take a break from game, if you are psyching yourself out, overanalyzing, or getting too frustrated.

Manage expectations, sounds like you do alright and have a pretty good notch count, don't expect to become Cassanova over night, also don't put pressure on yourself to get a certain notch count, or beat yourself up if you fumble a good opportunity.

Bang is by far the preeminent game book out there, you will gain a lot from it.

I probably stated a lot of the obvious, but hopefully it helps. More than anything just stop giving a fuck... Stop giving a fuck if you didn't approach that cute girl that caught your eye, stop caring if she was a bitch and you "failed her shit test", don't beat yourself up if you had the "cat in the bag" only to make a rookie mistake and fumble at the end.

Just go with the flow, learn from your mistakes, and keep on going.

thanks man - good advice. I actually did quit game for a few months after her, and have just gotten back into it. I did a couple approaches last night and had some success. I got the hot waitress' phone number and I just started reading Bang. Maybe a new, fresh take is all I really need.
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#11

Can't get out of my own head

Quote: (11-05-2011 11:56 AM)Klasmatic Wrote:  

I want to move past them and get some new pussy because I think it will make me better.


Good idea, I lucked out this weekend and ended up banging my ex,the sex was off the hook but i got home on sunday feeling like it was a cop out.....I have to still be friends with her but that was the last time im having sex with her.
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#12

Can't get out of my own head

Quote: (11-05-2011 11:23 AM)Klasmatic Wrote:  

Problem is, I can't seem to get out of my own head when I am out and trying to have a good time. I put too much pressure on myself and sometimes I just psyche myself out. I am a good looking guy and when I am not in my own head, very sociable and funny. I have problems escalating at times and approaching is difficult for me. I know my weaknesses and what needs to be done, but I can't figure out how to quit overthinking shit and just execute.

...

Has anyone dealt with this before? I'm definitely a noob and want to master this but I really need tips on how to just get out of my own head and stop being my own cockblock.
i noticed that when i'm inside my head i need to do either
+ something social like saying hi to people walking by or throwing out some comment and moving on or have a short

i even experimented with this. i went out and sat on a barstool with my back on the whole room and did everything i could to become stiff and inside my head checking my phone all the time staring at my glass etc. i did that for ah hour and then tried to catch up with the energy of the party. it's very fucking weird thing. i felt blocked to do even simple stuff like waving my hand in the air because the difference between me and people having fun was so drastic that social pressure of the party was eating me alive.


i know 2 ways to overcome that:

+ mental.. talking yourself into doing something, imagining something, even watching dudes getting blown out helps cause it's funny. and it's funny only because i don't even think about doing an approach in that mood. i only want to try and move my body somehow so my criterion for success is to stand up and get comfortable just moving : )) so when something makes me laugh this is good start to become relaxed. shit, even saying hi to someone in that mood would flop : ))

+ physical.. doing something silly like spinning around or jumping or anything physical to shake myself out of this stiffness right away (motion creates emotion). you feel horrible. you feel stupid. you are like some looser trying to be cool. but that instant action communicates to my mind that "this is happening so you better get with the program bitch..". it takes a few seconds to accept this new situation but it's the fastest way anyway.
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