Manipulation Defined As:
exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage; "his manipulation of his friends was scandalous".
The wording of that doesn't really make it sound very ethical huh? Let's try to find a more soothing word.
Charm Defined As:
1. The power or quality of pleasing or delighting; attractiveness:
2. A particular quality that attracts; a delightful characteristic:
There are plenty of other words that make manipulation sound a lot better, and more pleasing to the average person's ego dominated psyche. Because how many people want to think they were manipulated, into for example buying a car?
Not many, if any at all.
Although if the salesman was charming, and helped you decide to buy a car? Well that's a completely different thing.
The only real difference is perception.
In one example we perceive ourselves as being lead, and thus rendered powerless, and one of the worst things imaginable is to feel powerless.
Although if were guided to a decision, but still felt it in control? We feel great, and think were the ones in charge of our lives.
I have always been fascinated with the human mind, and what drives us to do the things we do. What factors contribute to a man staying with a shrew of a wife for the best years of his life, and then end up dying a slow death when he get's dumped?
I admit that my questions on the subject far outweigh my knowledge, or ability. That doesn't mean though that as a rational male I don't recognize the value in learning techniques that will satisfy my needs, and my wishes.
Which is point I want to emphasize, I have no altruistic higher goals or a desire to raise humanity to a new golden era. My study of manipulation aside from the intellectual thrill, is about improving the quality of my life.
Through embracing the game, and manosphere in general I've learned it's not wrong to be selfish, or to want to live a great life.
To this end I wish to share an example of a tactic that can be used to build rapport with someone. I didn't create this tactic obviously, but I've found it's a really rather effective.
Ready....?
Give someone a compliment.
.... Don't worry, it's a little more complicated than that.
We live in a culture today that prides itself on being realist, and this means that giving someone a straight compliment for instance.. "Wow sir that choice of singing fish for your trailer is really great!" will usually brand you as a buttlicking douche.
Why? Because your real intent is so obvious that it's pathetic. Only someone whose ego far outstrips reality would believe such a self-serving line.
This doesn't mean that people aren't susceptible to having their ego stroked. Of course they are, for they are human and like all humans they want to believe they're better, stronger, faster, etc.
It's only natural.
So you're wondering, then how exactly do I appeal to someone's ego without looking like an idiot?
Very simple.
Part 1: Ask their advice.
This is a tactic that is so mind numbingly simple, but powerful. Because most people have opinions on every subject under the sun, and they freely love to dispense advice. Think back on how many times in your life you've been given unsolicited advice about everything from how to shave, to how to fuck.
Like 99% of the population you either ignored the advice completely, or did some complex mental gymnastics and tricked yourself into believing you came up with it yourself.
Because the human ego is a powerful thing, and it shapes our lives in ways most people never understand. We all want to believe were masters of our own destiny, and don't need anyone elses help.
Now considering that, think about the amount of times you've actually gone to someone personally and requested their advice on something. It's important to realize I don't mean you danced around the subject by saying vague things like "I really hate my job", and hope the person understands you're seeking their opinion about your job troubles.
I mean.
"John I'm have some trouble at work, and since you've found a job you really like, maybe you can give me some advice on finding one like that to?"
If your being honest, then the number is usually pretty low. Because that kind of direct request means telling the world in a sense that you are unable to solve a problem without help, and as previously noted this is something most people never want to do.
Some people might point out that this seems ridiculous in a world where people seek out advice on the internet for every topic under the sun, even this forum itself is meant to give advice.
I submit that this is entirely different.
It's easy to read some advice online, and make it your own. Because you never have to directly request it, nor do you have to look someone in the eye while doing it.
Your ego is protected due to most people's faith in the anonymity the internet provides.
Now you all might be wondering what this has to do with building rapport?
This leads us to
Part 2: Tell The Person You Took Their Advice and Describe How
For example, let us say that I wanted to ingurgitate myself with an entrepreneur whose built a business from the ground up. Complimenting on his talking fish would be seen as being a suck up, but if I asked him something along the lines of...
"John since your a man who built his business from the ground up, do you think you could offer me some advice to help me with my own startup?"
Suddenly, the perception has changed.
Your not a kissass, but a young man coming to seek my wisdom and help in avoiding some of the pitfalls I encountered while starting out. Now the person in question suddenly feels good, because someone has come to them seeking advice and this validates a life time of opinions they have.
Now the person gets to view themself as a wise mentor dispensing advice to the younger generation, and this feeds into their ego. It also creates a positive impression for which you can build from.
The final part of this trick is to go to the person in question, and explain to them how their advice has helped you. Because this is something that never happens to the average person, and it only increases their feelings of superiority.
Now a tactic like this wouldn't work on someone say like Warren Buffet whose used to having his advice sought after. The average person though is entirely susceptible to this brand of manipulation.
Uses in Seduction
I've mostly used this tactic in building a wider social network, and the range of topics can vary. It's usually better to figure out something that the person in question considers themselves an expert on, and then use it.
I'm still refining my game, and incorporating some of these techniques is a matter of trial and error. It's not meant to be bulletproof, but it can be effective if used correctly.
Ethical Concerns
I'm not a moralist, and I do my best to avoid judging. I can simply say that like all tools, manipulation can be used for good or evil. If I were to say this technique is a charming technique that can be used to build rapport, it might go down easier I suppose.
I'm curious to hear people's thoughts, and opinions on this issue.
exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage; "his manipulation of his friends was scandalous".
The wording of that doesn't really make it sound very ethical huh? Let's try to find a more soothing word.
Charm Defined As:
1. The power or quality of pleasing or delighting; attractiveness:
2. A particular quality that attracts; a delightful characteristic:
There are plenty of other words that make manipulation sound a lot better, and more pleasing to the average person's ego dominated psyche. Because how many people want to think they were manipulated, into for example buying a car?
Not many, if any at all.
Although if the salesman was charming, and helped you decide to buy a car? Well that's a completely different thing.
The only real difference is perception.
In one example we perceive ourselves as being lead, and thus rendered powerless, and one of the worst things imaginable is to feel powerless.
Although if were guided to a decision, but still felt it in control? We feel great, and think were the ones in charge of our lives.
I have always been fascinated with the human mind, and what drives us to do the things we do. What factors contribute to a man staying with a shrew of a wife for the best years of his life, and then end up dying a slow death when he get's dumped?
I admit that my questions on the subject far outweigh my knowledge, or ability. That doesn't mean though that as a rational male I don't recognize the value in learning techniques that will satisfy my needs, and my wishes.
Which is point I want to emphasize, I have no altruistic higher goals or a desire to raise humanity to a new golden era. My study of manipulation aside from the intellectual thrill, is about improving the quality of my life.
Through embracing the game, and manosphere in general I've learned it's not wrong to be selfish, or to want to live a great life.
To this end I wish to share an example of a tactic that can be used to build rapport with someone. I didn't create this tactic obviously, but I've found it's a really rather effective.
Ready....?
Give someone a compliment.
.... Don't worry, it's a little more complicated than that.
We live in a culture today that prides itself on being realist, and this means that giving someone a straight compliment for instance.. "Wow sir that choice of singing fish for your trailer is really great!" will usually brand you as a buttlicking douche.
Why? Because your real intent is so obvious that it's pathetic. Only someone whose ego far outstrips reality would believe such a self-serving line.
This doesn't mean that people aren't susceptible to having their ego stroked. Of course they are, for they are human and like all humans they want to believe they're better, stronger, faster, etc.
It's only natural.
So you're wondering, then how exactly do I appeal to someone's ego without looking like an idiot?
Very simple.
Part 1: Ask their advice.
This is a tactic that is so mind numbingly simple, but powerful. Because most people have opinions on every subject under the sun, and they freely love to dispense advice. Think back on how many times in your life you've been given unsolicited advice about everything from how to shave, to how to fuck.
Like 99% of the population you either ignored the advice completely, or did some complex mental gymnastics and tricked yourself into believing you came up with it yourself.
Because the human ego is a powerful thing, and it shapes our lives in ways most people never understand. We all want to believe were masters of our own destiny, and don't need anyone elses help.
Now considering that, think about the amount of times you've actually gone to someone personally and requested their advice on something. It's important to realize I don't mean you danced around the subject by saying vague things like "I really hate my job", and hope the person understands you're seeking their opinion about your job troubles.
I mean.
"John I'm have some trouble at work, and since you've found a job you really like, maybe you can give me some advice on finding one like that to?"
If your being honest, then the number is usually pretty low. Because that kind of direct request means telling the world in a sense that you are unable to solve a problem without help, and as previously noted this is something most people never want to do.
Some people might point out that this seems ridiculous in a world where people seek out advice on the internet for every topic under the sun, even this forum itself is meant to give advice.
I submit that this is entirely different.
It's easy to read some advice online, and make it your own. Because you never have to directly request it, nor do you have to look someone in the eye while doing it.
Your ego is protected due to most people's faith in the anonymity the internet provides.
Now you all might be wondering what this has to do with building rapport?
This leads us to
Part 2: Tell The Person You Took Their Advice and Describe How
For example, let us say that I wanted to ingurgitate myself with an entrepreneur whose built a business from the ground up. Complimenting on his talking fish would be seen as being a suck up, but if I asked him something along the lines of...
"John since your a man who built his business from the ground up, do you think you could offer me some advice to help me with my own startup?"
Suddenly, the perception has changed.
Your not a kissass, but a young man coming to seek my wisdom and help in avoiding some of the pitfalls I encountered while starting out. Now the person in question suddenly feels good, because someone has come to them seeking advice and this validates a life time of opinions they have.
Now the person gets to view themself as a wise mentor dispensing advice to the younger generation, and this feeds into their ego. It also creates a positive impression for which you can build from.
The final part of this trick is to go to the person in question, and explain to them how their advice has helped you. Because this is something that never happens to the average person, and it only increases their feelings of superiority.
Now a tactic like this wouldn't work on someone say like Warren Buffet whose used to having his advice sought after. The average person though is entirely susceptible to this brand of manipulation.
Uses in Seduction
I've mostly used this tactic in building a wider social network, and the range of topics can vary. It's usually better to figure out something that the person in question considers themselves an expert on, and then use it.
I'm still refining my game, and incorporating some of these techniques is a matter of trial and error. It's not meant to be bulletproof, but it can be effective if used correctly.
Ethical Concerns
I'm not a moralist, and I do my best to avoid judging. I can simply say that like all tools, manipulation can be used for good or evil. If I were to say this technique is a charming technique that can be used to build rapport, it might go down easier I suppose.
I'm curious to hear people's thoughts, and opinions on this issue.
Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen! -John Mason (The Rock)
