[LostSoul]

Hey everyone, been following this forum for a while and I think its one of the best around not just in terms of advice about women but also life.

Anyway some info about me. I am almost 23 and been living and studying in UK for 6 years now and been doing ok in most areas with exception of women. As much as I hate to say it but I never had a gf and am still a virgin. Now when it comes to interacting with women I am basically either ignored or its really awkward and doesn't go anywhere. The furherest I have ever gone with a chick is a short make out in a club.

I am in no way an expert in theory and PUA material but I know more than enough in order to do well with chicks (my friends know next to zero in it yet do very well). The problem that in practice NONE of the stuff that is preached and advised on here and other forums seems to work for me. It doesn't matter if I try it in day game, night game, uni, malls , it just doesn't go anywhere or backfires on me.

Also, I am probably what one would describe as below average when it comes to looks and that probably holds me back a lot but I have seen guys even worse looking than me pull some tail so that cant be the answer to everything or can it? Basically what I have come to realize is that I suck big time with western type of women and after trying and trying with no success I am almost ready to give up.

However, my question for you guys is do you think I would fare better in other countries for example in asia/latin america where the culture is a lot different and the fact that I am a "european" guy will help me?

[Chad Daring]

I know for me, coming from a similar situation, what helped me the most was getting in shape. After I lost weight and started hitting the gym I started to change on a base level that influenced every other aspect of myself.


"I am in no way an expert in theory and PUA material but I know more than enough in order to do well with chicks (my friends know next to zero in it yet do very well)."

I guarantee you're over thinking it as well, I still do this and its one of my biggest hurdles at the moment. The guys that "know next to zero" dont think, they just do. Start doing.

[LostSoul]

(10-19-2011 03:31 PM)Chad Daring Wrote:  

I know for me, coming from a similar situation, what helped me the most was getting in shape. After I lost weight and started hitting the gym I started to change on a base level that influenced every other aspect of myself.


"I am in no way an expert in theory and PUA material but I know more than enough in order to do well with chicks (my friends know next to zero in it yet do very well)."

I guarantee you're over thinking it as well, I still do this and its one of my biggest hurdles at the moment. The guys that "know next to zero" dont think, they just do. Start doing.

Thanks for reply. In terms of getting in shape I actually don't have a problem with that, if anything I am too skinny. I guess I could use 10-15 lbs extra of muscle tho.

I am not sure I am over thinking the process to be honest. To me none of the material comes naturally so I kinda have to think about the steps and what needs to be done while interacting with women.

But I am just wondering if its not worth for me to go other places. I read a lot of threads where guys say in countries like Peru, Colombia, Thailand you don't even need much game and so my chances might be better in those type of places. On the other hand its a new place and the chicks might only be after my money lol plus the language barrier can be bad too. Sure seems like a lose/lose situation right now.

[big poppa]

How many approaches would you make in an average week? You might think your game isn't any good but maybe you're just not making enough approaches.

[Excelsior]

You simply need notches.

Your problem stems from a complete lack of confidence in your own status as a sexual being. This makes sense, since you have no sexual experience. The only way to correct this is to gain the experience. You need a "kick-start", so to speak. Without that, you'll just be banging your head against a wall approaching/running routines/etc. That weight will just keep weighing you down and delaying any progress to a point at which your return on investment will be minuscule.

The abundance mentality is the most crucial component of solid game, and it is the thing that most other components of game (neg, pus-pull, routines, etc) are designed to feign or ultimately achieve. Your problem right now is that you have a scarcity mentality, which is caused by a lack of success with women. You must reverse this before anything changes.

Two options:

1. Travel. Start reading around(you're in a good place for that) and preparing yourself as you pick a destination. Get to Thailand, The Phillipines, Latin America, etc, and get a jump-start there with women. This is my most recommended option. a young, caucasian male in many of these parts of the world can see a solid improvement in his romantic fortunes(if he prepares and plays his cards right). You can easily get a cute girl or two and begin chipping away at the scarcity mentality/inexperience. That'll build some confidence for you to take home.
I think a month in the PI/Thailand/Peru would do you some good.

2. Escorts. Save $3-600, buy a solid-looking 8/9 online (or two), and get it over with. Do it a couple of times with different examples (save more cash if you've got to) to prevent oneitis for any given one and build a little more experience. A few good sessions with actual attractive women should help limit the scarcity mentality/anxiety you may have sexually, improve confidence and create a small abundance mentality which you can then take back out to the club/lounge/wherever and hopefully use to bring more success.

Bottomline: You must get the monkey off your back (that is, your virginity/inexperience) before any real progress happens. That needs to be your goal. Travel should be your first choice solution to this issue.

Get rid of that monkey and you'll likely find your weekend excursions far more productive.

[drymarro]

^^ not that I've done it but you can get a hoe off backpage for a $100 for like half hour.

[Screwston]

Don't travel just yet. Start working out if you don't already (I'm skinny like you. Eat lots of protein and just a lot of food in general and hit those weights hard), get some nice clothes that you like not just something that's trendy (we can help in the Lifestyle section), take care of your face/hygeine/teeth, make sure your haircut is ok with your face, get some cologne (Lifestyle section again if you need help).

I want you to forget all that PUA shit you read about. Where are you in the UK? A wingman might be available around here to see you in action and repot back to us. What are you saying to girls? Have you tried online dating? At this point, I might have to recommend settling for a chubby/uglier girl just to bust your first nut.

[peterthephoenix]

The one thing you should be doing: Hitting the gym.

[LostSoul]

@ big poppa: It really varies from week to week but I would say around 20-30 a week approaches.

@Athlone McGinnis : You are absolutely right about the scarcity mentality but ye kinda catch 22 on that one. In terms of hookers nothing against guys who use them but its just not my thing (especially wouldn't feel right losing v card to one of them lol). And yeah I think travel to another place would be the best option for for me.



@ houston : I live around 30 mins by train from London.
And ye I agree on working out and building a better body, I started it in the past but never really had consistency with it. I guess just need to be real disciplined.
Also, I realize hitting on the cream of the crop (9s,8s) is just not realistic right now but even the 5s and 6s don't give me the time of day so I dont know how much lower I should go.