[Janoube]

Really sorry for the long post, but I have a lot to say lol

I haven't been on a date in several years. I don't think I even remember what to do or say. I have never been good around women. And I've only ever been on a few dates in my life. I've also haven't had sex in 8 years. And then only a handful of times, usually just once per woman, and only 9 women in my whole life.

It's ironic because people always tell me I am handsome, charming, articulate, intelligent, etc...and I have good photos on dating apps, and still nothing.

Moreover, the limited sex I've had with women were all 5's and 6's (at best).

I've never made sweet, passionate love to a beautiful young woman. I have no idea what that feels like. And that's what's missing my life.

I am not sexually attracted to women around my own age, only younger. Sweet, soft spoken, gentle, non-argumentative, feminine (but not feminist) and loyal in a LTR. I have never been the ONS kind of guy, although I've had them.

Now, I will go into detail about each of the 9 women.

Keep in mind, I never enjoyed sex with any of them, not a single one, and none of them ever had an orgasm.

The whole affair lasted only a few min each person. I've never had sex all night long or even for 1 hour. Never sweated with anyone. Never heard any moaning or screaming. Nothing sensual like that. I have never experienced any of that stuff. I suppose in a way, I am still a 40 year old virgin haha lol

Often I never came, and wasn't even hard most of the time. Mostly, because they were 5's and 6's, I never really got turned on by them, but I had sex with them anyways just to have sex.

The last time I did that was 8 years ago. So I have been celibate since then.

Now to the details of each woman:

The last girl was in Capetown, South Africa - a white girl, kind of like a liberal hipster, likes to have sex with alienated underdog minority guys (that's me lol). I didn't enjoy the sex (we tried twice). It was very mechanical, no passion or love, even the lust factor was low.

The strange thing is I have a strong libido, but it's only active for 8's and 9's, and all I ever found was 5's and 6's. So the girl in Cape town was in 2016. That was the last time I had sex.

Before that was 2014, a couchsurfer crashing at my place. A Taiwanese-American liberal girl from California. I later found out she was raped in high school (she lost her virginity in a party house to a gang rape). Again, I did not enjoy sex with her, and it nothing to do with the rape, I didn't know that about that until years later when she finally confessed what happened to her in her younger days. She also didn't enjoy the sex with me either. I think we tried 3x. I wasn't even attracted to her, but she was very into to me. She loved me. I broke her heart.

Before her, there were 2 women in Australia, including 1 Kiwi (both in 2012). Again, no attraction to either, and both were older, one a single mom. Complete turn offs, both of them, but I had sex anyways.

I suppose just to see what this sex thing was all about lol.

Super disappointed by my sexual experiences

In 2006, in Mexico, I had sex with a German student, again, no feeling, and it lasted 5min, and she asked to have her bed to herself for the night, and I chuckled and left. I was couchsurfing at the time. She acted awkward around me the next morning. Avoiding eye contact. I moved out.

in 2005, I had sex with a Canadian ESL teacher in China, again no enjoyment. I pushed her against the locker, she liked it and jumped on me, I sat on a chair, she started riding me, the chair broke, we got caught by someone watching us lol. She got embarrassed and went outside to smoke lol

A few months later, I had sex with a French backpacker in Krabi, Thailand. Again, not attracted and she even said in a cute accent - C'est ne pas normal - this is not normal (meaning the sex wasn't normal). And it wasn't - I could feel that.

I also had sex with a Thai beach girl on Ko Pangan (full moon island). I did anal for the first time with her. Again no feeling, no love. No passion. Nothing at all.

Before that. I lost my virginity in 2002 with a girl younger than me (but more experienced). Unlike me, she went around with all the high school guys. I remained a virgin throughout high school. Not usual for around here.

I live in Vancouver, Canada. I am 5'7. 145lbs. Slim, slender. Olive skin. Stubble. Above average face. Masculine. Super Minority lol

Not sure what else to say. I came on here to ask advice about my first date. I want there to be a second date. I am naturally good around women when I'm comfortable, but I feel really uncomfortable in this town.

I live in a really socially awkward town. Meeting people here is really hard. And I am looking for 8's and 9's. Is it even possible?

How much does age factor in? Or penis size? Or sexual experience?

I go to the gym 3x per week. I have muscle. I'm healthy. I'm strong (inside and out). I am confident, direct. At the same time, sensitive and romantic. Not sure why I am so unlucky with women? My father was also bad with women. My brother is a pro. I feel like an enigma.

Not sure where to take my first date. I used to take girls to the park bench and sit and look deeply into their eyes and talk to them and figure them out a bit. And that is where I took my first girlfriend, my first date, my first kiss, and also my first heartbreak at 19.

I was devasted. Perhaps that is why I am so unlucky with women. I have no game, only my natural personality lol. I have anxiety approaching women. I never cold approach. No lines. They usually come to me and flirt and then I reciprocate. I am not a bar, pub or club guy. I like cooking for my girl at home.

Some good things about me. I speak 7 languages, have traveled to 60 countries, and I know a lot of knowledge based stuff. I am a natural teacher.

Girls are usually attracted to my brain. I recall this upsetting the other guys, creating jealousy between the men.

I forgot to mention in high school, I never talked with girls. Never touched, kissed or hugged anyone. Girls liked me in school, but I never liked them back. Nothing happened. Because they were 5's and 6's. Even when the hottest girl in school came up to me one day and put her arm around me, I froze. I didn't even communicate. This happened a few more times with really hot girls wanting to dance with me. Because I am a good dancer. Again, nothing happened.

I was a loner in high school and college. I had my first experiences after high school ended (immediately the summer after). It's like the hand of God was keeping me safe from those high school sexual experiences.

Due to my high libido, it's likely I would have never stopped sleeping around once I got a taste of a 8 or 9 white girl, you know blonde, blue eyes, fetish. I always wanted that, never got it. Maybe that is why I never hooked up in high school.

By the way, I have never owned a smartphone. Not sure if that disqualifies me from dating. I use a laptop and the web based version of dating apps.

Again, sorry for the long post. Thank you for reading. Any thoughts?

[kleintow]

"Due to my high libido, it's likely I would have never stopped sleeping around once I got a taste of a 8 or 9 white girl, you know blonde, blue eyes, fetish. I always wanted that, never got it. Maybe that is why I never hooked up in high school."

This isn't the answer you're looking for, however, judging by my own life experience, you attract people around your looks level. If you have banged only 5s and 6s, it is because you are also around that level ( maybe a couple of points either above or below).

. I am 5'7. 145lbs. Slim, slender. Olive skin. Stubble. Above average face. Masculine. Super Minority

This short height is always going to be an issue in attracting the hot women to whom you are naturally attracted.

"It's ironic because people always tell me I am handsome, charming, articulate, intelligent, etc...and I have good photos on dating apps, and still nothing."

This is modern dating in a nutshell. Women have way too many options to choose from on those apps. The average woman is bombarded by hundreds ( if not thousands) of messages on those apps on a daily bases. It is going to be very difficult to meet anyone there.

You have traveled to a lot of countries, maybe you should continue to do that and maybe someday you'll meet a woman who will be sexually and emotionally compatible with you.

[Janoube]

Thanks so much didnt think anyone was still on here

So it makes sense what you said about being a 5 of 6 if I attract 5 or 6 but that doesn't line up with what people have said about my looks.

Perhaps I am a 7, not sure if I quality as 8 or 9, how to be sure?

But I am short that is right, but at the same time, I am direct, confident, full eye contact (if interested) and clear, present voice.


The thing is I am actually looking for 8 or 9 short girls. I am not super attracted to taller women, but I am open to that. It is mostly the shorties that get me excited as I like to feel dominant with them. I also like that they like my dominance.

As for dating apps, it's useless, I once added men to my search range just to see what happens, and I got 28 likes in 3 hours, all from older men, I had to turn it back to women only and then it went to the normal routine of not getting matches. So it's the women that are not noticing me.

What's worse is I am a little older now and live far away from the city center. And I don't know what to do to stand out verses hundreds of other guys who are younger than me but with worse photos. I checked all the guys profiles in my area and compared to them I have the better photos and bio, and still nothing. I have a feeling they are not getting anything either. So who is exactly matching with these women. Most of the women on these apps are 4, 5, or 6, I rarely see a 7. I am wondering if there any matches at all for anyone?

As for travel, I would like to, but I think I am too old, and the world has changed, I don't have a smartphone for health reasons, and I also don't agree with any medical procedures to go traveling.

[Archivist]

Perhaps I am a 7, not sure if I quality as 8 or 9, how to be sure?

The thing is I am actually looking for 8 or 9 short girls. I am not super attracted to taller women, but I am open to that. It is mostly the shorties that get me excited as I like to feel dominant with them. I also like that they like my dominance. 

I ... live far away from the city center.  I don't have a smartphone for health reasons, and I also don't agree with any medical procedures to go traveling.

There are no 10's.  A 9 is a professional model, rarely seen in the wild.  An 8 is hot, a 7 is pretty, a 6 is cute.  Men almost never exceed 8 based on looks alone.  Fortunately, men are not judged heavily by looks, and more heavily on money, status, and personality.

Women want tall, dark, and handsome.  You are already missing height.  But you could try wearing boots, shoe lifts, elevator shoes, or just shoes with thicker soles and heels.  Compare:
https://www.allenedmonds.com/product/men...-ec4006866
versus
https://www.allenedmonds.com/product/men...-ec4009061

There was an old post by a really short balding virgin in his twenties.  He went to China and did fine.  But he had a good excuse.  Are you a minority, in a heavily male environment?  Otherwise, what is your excuse for being single?  You should know that forums like this are a magnet for weirdos.   A mature, sensitive guy would be a bit apologetic and more specific with his request for help.  You don't need medical procedures to travel.  Smart phones don't cause health problems.  It sounds like you are making excuses, or being difficult and inflexible.

Normal guys find sites like this for advice.  Dedicated men experiment with fake profiles to learn what works online.  Be careful to do this with burner phone or replaceable computer in case you get banned!   Then dedicated guys get professional pictures (see the guide by Blurred Sevens) and download all the apps.  They get good at messaging, conversing, and meeting.  They also get good at dating, meeting conveniently in the evening for drinks.

Some young women will only date men with Apple phones (shallow, but true).  You need dating practice.  You want to swipe selectively.  But you need 200 swipes to get 20 conversations to get 10 dates.  Some of those dates will flake, so you might stack some.  While you are travelling to the date, some will flake by text, or tell you they are running late.  Others will text that they are drunk and want you to pick them up.  You often need to respond immediately by text to keep momentum.  If you don't have a smartphone, then I wonder what else you are lacking (job, money, hygiene, car, sanity, shoes, hair, teeth, empathy, flexibility).