I apologize for the following wall of text, but I need some advice from the experienced guys on the board.
I live in a relatively small town, so I see the same 50-60 kids everynight in the bars around here. I'm in the college-bar scene and I go out about six nights a week.
The obvious downside to such a limited-population bar community is that getting blown out bears near-fatal repercussions. An animated and publicly advertised blowout will add you to the no-sex-blacklists of several females.
One upside (I think) to these communities is that you are afforded more time to build attraction through indirect means over an expanse of a month or so. Since you know you will see a particular girl at least one night a week, you can DHV to her without even initiating a conversation--i.e. be seen with attractive females and display alpha behavior while acting oblivious to her existence. You are afforded a temporal bubble between attraction and approach so that you can open on a girl when the set is at least near-optimal. Yes, I understand that a girl can get snatched up fast if you wait too long, but I've fucked enough college girls with "boyfriends" to know that relationships don't mean jack with a lot of them.
Theories aside: I met a girl last weekend who I number-closed on in a bar parking lot at the tail-end of a Wednesday night. I never called/texted her because it felt obvious to me that I hadn't built enough attraction to prevent a flake, and that I might as well put my seduction attempts on her on the backburner. It was near-certain that I'd see her again, after all.
Lo' and behold, we met the following week at another bar. She hardly remembered who I was (didn't matter, since I got her name wrong anyway), and we had a decent conversation that saw me receive several IOI's (touching my arm, she never broke eye contact, a subliminal feeling that she wanted to get fucked). Admittedly, I performed poorly here, but I felt as though I built enough rapport that I hadn't completely ruined my chances for the future.
Fast forward a week later to tonight and I notice her at the bar, but she's with a cavalcade of male admirers who are all relentlessly hitting on her. Nonetheless, I see her staring at me from across the room. The set, in my opinion, would have made for a terrible approach: there were five guys for me to try and out-alpha in a relatively small frame of time. Given the situation, I make a point not to make eye-contact with her and carry on with my conversations as if she's not even there. I know she's riding high on the outrageous level of attention she is receiving from these mopey shits jockeying desperately for her pussy and I was unwilling to be cast as beta #18 of her night.
Bar closes and I'm outside having a cigarette with a couple of friends. She walks out with about five girls and a small following of 2-3 male fans. Again, I make sure not to acknowledge her. She seems to have two modes of social existence:
1. Completely alone and hilariously easy to approach
2. Surrounded by an army of attractive female friends and beta males
At one point, she steps up behind me, about a meter away, and just lingers for a moment, talking in a raised voice in an obvious attempt to capture my attention. I don't play into her hands as, again, the set would have made for an awful approach: my physical positioning was terrible and would have required me to implicitly acknowledge that I had been observing her all along if I made the abrupt 180 degree turn to face her. I earnestly believe that she was shit-testing me.
Given the fact that she bore enough demonstrated interest to try and shit-test me, I think that I will wait until the next time I see her to approach. I feel like if I don't approach upon the next time she sees me, then I will have waited far too long and permanently fucked my chances.
I am not sure if I fucked up or not in this situation. As you can see, I am (perhaps desperately) rationalizing my behavior. I'd like the opinions of the more experienced guys here.
I live in a relatively small town, so I see the same 50-60 kids everynight in the bars around here. I'm in the college-bar scene and I go out about six nights a week.
The obvious downside to such a limited-population bar community is that getting blown out bears near-fatal repercussions. An animated and publicly advertised blowout will add you to the no-sex-blacklists of several females.
One upside (I think) to these communities is that you are afforded more time to build attraction through indirect means over an expanse of a month or so. Since you know you will see a particular girl at least one night a week, you can DHV to her without even initiating a conversation--i.e. be seen with attractive females and display alpha behavior while acting oblivious to her existence. You are afforded a temporal bubble between attraction and approach so that you can open on a girl when the set is at least near-optimal. Yes, I understand that a girl can get snatched up fast if you wait too long, but I've fucked enough college girls with "boyfriends" to know that relationships don't mean jack with a lot of them.
Theories aside: I met a girl last weekend who I number-closed on in a bar parking lot at the tail-end of a Wednesday night. I never called/texted her because it felt obvious to me that I hadn't built enough attraction to prevent a flake, and that I might as well put my seduction attempts on her on the backburner. It was near-certain that I'd see her again, after all.
Lo' and behold, we met the following week at another bar. She hardly remembered who I was (didn't matter, since I got her name wrong anyway), and we had a decent conversation that saw me receive several IOI's (touching my arm, she never broke eye contact, a subliminal feeling that she wanted to get fucked). Admittedly, I performed poorly here, but I felt as though I built enough rapport that I hadn't completely ruined my chances for the future.
Fast forward a week later to tonight and I notice her at the bar, but she's with a cavalcade of male admirers who are all relentlessly hitting on her. Nonetheless, I see her staring at me from across the room. The set, in my opinion, would have made for a terrible approach: there were five guys for me to try and out-alpha in a relatively small frame of time. Given the situation, I make a point not to make eye-contact with her and carry on with my conversations as if she's not even there. I know she's riding high on the outrageous level of attention she is receiving from these mopey shits jockeying desperately for her pussy and I was unwilling to be cast as beta #18 of her night.
Bar closes and I'm outside having a cigarette with a couple of friends. She walks out with about five girls and a small following of 2-3 male fans. Again, I make sure not to acknowledge her. She seems to have two modes of social existence:
1. Completely alone and hilariously easy to approach
2. Surrounded by an army of attractive female friends and beta males
At one point, she steps up behind me, about a meter away, and just lingers for a moment, talking in a raised voice in an obvious attempt to capture my attention. I don't play into her hands as, again, the set would have made for an awful approach: my physical positioning was terrible and would have required me to implicitly acknowledge that I had been observing her all along if I made the abrupt 180 degree turn to face her. I earnestly believe that she was shit-testing me.
Given the fact that she bore enough demonstrated interest to try and shit-test me, I think that I will wait until the next time I see her to approach. I feel like if I don't approach upon the next time she sees me, then I will have waited far too long and permanently fucked my chances.
I am not sure if I fucked up or not in this situation. As you can see, I am (perhaps desperately) rationalizing my behavior. I'd like the opinions of the more experienced guys here.
