[Dart]

What’s up. I’m from America, and I recently moved to Asia. I’m a newbie in game. However, I was making very significant progress in America. Every month I was improving. I was pretty fucking confident. Now I’m in China. I’ve been here a few months. It’s fucking different here. I actually know the culture decently well, and I can speak basic Chinese. But, I can’t find any girl who’s excited to meet me. There’s no enthusiasm and no attraction. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t get it. I actually had some results with Chinese girls in America, including some who were merely a few days fresh off the boat. I’ve met similar girls here, but they have absolutely zero interest in me. Some of the rejections make no sense. By the way, I don’t mind rejection—it fuels me. But, I want to make progress again.

This forum has a lot of guys with international experience. Is my experience normal? How can I adjust to the culture better and actually be attractive to women again (like I was back home)?

[debeguiled]

When I moved to the UK I felt culture shock for a while and couldn't make heads or tails of people.

You have been in freaking China for a couple of months.

Keep at it and don't beat yourself up.

[outback]

Your experience is normal. I've been in China for a little while. There are plenty of claimed China casanovas but here's my experience.

It's a cultural thing.

Chinese men are hyper aware of mascule traits... because there not naturally masculine (height/build) they over-compensate with their personalities, and women value the wit and constant machismo they try and bring (it can look silly to Westerners but the local girls like it). So if you're not acting hyper masculine all the time you're less likely to be alpha.. you can be chill in the West and girls still think alpha, not here.

From my limited experience, you need to be bolder, wittier, and demonstrate STATUS. But you're actually assumed to be lower value... Who from the West moves to China? Typically guys who can't cut it in the West. That's Chinese girls' default mentality - the idea of people living a life focussed on enjoying themselves doesn't compute here.. life here is about improving your country and your family.

They're also very very judgmental regarding college degree and job. The rest of what you have going for you in the West doesn't matter as much, unless they've spent time in the West and even then they're still very judgmental.

The girls also typically don't know how to Game themselves, at all.. bars are Western and didn't exist in China before Westerners.. fact. So most women have a juvenile conception of attraction. I can't tell you how many times I've seen them sacrifice their own fun/happiness because of the myriad of rules and social triggers they carry for attraction, rather than natural emotional response.

They're all typically very very self-confident, even though, they're usually just normal girls -it's a lack of self awareness, and parents completely spoiling them emotionally and materially.. In the West, if you're not jumping at a girl to have sex, or being aloof, she'll typically assume you're not that into her - correct. Here, she'll assume there's something wrong with you (Christian, momma's boy). I'm talking 5s6s... rather than play it cool and try and regain your attraction. They can't lose face, so they'll attack you rather than reflect on themselves and try a different tactic.

[Dart]

Thanks, Outback. I read your reply several times. It’s given me much to think about.

[Bienvenuto]

(05-13-2019 02:14 AM)Dart Wrote:  

Thanks, Outback. I read your reply several times. It’s given me much to think about.

Ive not been to China but may be moving their shortly.

I'm in rural Vietnam.

The one word I've heard for the men here is 'brazen'. They're always cracking onto any girl they see.

The women know nearly everyone in town and are known to people in town.

That face that people make when they see a dead body or a hideous car wreck, just expressionless staring. Thats what me and the girls I've been out with here get.
People slow their bikes down and stare.

Old men come up within a couple of feet of my dates' faces.
Get food thrown at us.
Insults thrown.

All the time the young men are calling out at all the chicks, whether they are alone or in company.

Things like negging and teasing wash off of these chicks. Western men are there to be used for attention only, messaging alot, maybe dates in public.

Traveller Kai does a pretty lengthy data sheet - thread-38876.html

On first reading dating in China sounds like an assault course that only 007 could pass.

Thing that stands out:

Service industry girls and working class girls are unreliable and will flake.

Interesting because I thought that the difference in perceived status would make them more likely prospects.

It chimes with my experience in provincial Vietnam; a foreigner is a source of amusement to be exploited. Locals CAN be very friendly and generous but a foreigner is not someone to be taken seriously romantically (unless by abandoned single mothers).

The exception is a whole bunch of skanks that you wouldn't want to touch with your dick. And my neighbours daughter who is very sweet but built like a cube.

When I brought my first chick round in the early morning dusk the whole street was talking about it later that morning.
The neighbours told their daughter that she could start bringing her regular boyfriend around again.
No point in them concealing him from that foreigner anymore.

[Going strong]

(05-13-2019 05:29 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  

I'm in rural Vietnam.

That face that people make when they see a dead body or a hideous car wreck, just expressionless staring. Thats what me and the girls I've been out with here get.
People slow their bikes down and stare.

Old men come up within a couple of feet of my dates' faces.
Get food thrown at us.
Insults thrown.

You'd have to provide background here, please. What is your ethnicity (or appearance), to "elicit" such a level of antagonist xenophobic reaction?

Personally I am White and dress conservatively, normal haircut, have no tattoo and speak politely to everybody, employees or servers included, so, I have never experienced any racism from the quiet and polite Vietnamese people.
Granted I was not in "very provincial" Vietnam, but still, I have been to 2d tier cities with Vietnamese women and with no problem. In any case, can you give us more details? What infuriates local people so much, PDA or some?

[Bienvenuto]

(05-13-2019 06:17 AM)Going strong Wrote:  

(05-13-2019 05:29 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  

I'm in rural Vietnam.

That face that people make when they see a dead body or a hideous car wreck, just expressionless staring. Thats what me and the girls I've been out with here get.
People slow their bikes down and stare.

Old men come up within a couple of feet of my dates' faces.
Get food thrown at us.
Insults thrown.

You'd have to provide background here, please. What is your ethnicity (or appearance), to "elicit" such a level of antagonist xenophobic reaction?

Personally I am White and dress conservatively, normal haircut, have no tattoo and speak politely to everybody, employees or servers included, so, I have never experienced any racism from the quiet and polite Vietnamese people.
Granted I was not in "very provincial" Vietnam, but still, I have been to 2d tier cities with Vietnamese women and with no problem. In any case, can you give us more details? What infuriates local people so much, PDA or some?

Like you I am White and dress conservatively, normal haircut, have no tattoo and speak politely to everybody, employees or servers included.

This is not the 1st or 2nd tier, this is proper "very provincial" Vietnam...

but you know to be honest mileage varies, I know of plenty of rows that I wasn't present at in HCMC (where I've had nothing but positive experiences in general) - they can be just as racist there.
I know of people getting acid attacked, dogs poisoned or set on fire, my female neighbours near HCMC were relentlessly sexually harrassed. I had to step in sometimes.

But where I am is old school Vietnam and they're not always hostile, they can be very friendly but a foreigner is an aberration to them.

A westerner with a bona fide local girl?

They are not always hostile.. but they are shocked. They might as well see a nuclear power station explode in the distance in front of them.
Their world is unhinged.

But its not just life for white people..local people are regularly getting shot and killed here. People are getting hospitalised over local drama.
Heroin od's are regular.
Government corruption off the scale.
A "massage" parlour on every corner in the town centre.
My neighbours are always best of mates then the next minute are having massive rows in the dirt street.

Its life in the provinces. Gotta dodge Buffalo and hunting dogs on those dirt roads.

And then the fuckwits with gold teeth, Gucci caps and the latest iPhones are yelling at the waitresses back in town. An actual tall, well dressed foreigner walks in? The entire world of those malevolent gammas just turned upside down.
I just ignore them.

And then, yes, plenty of good, polite and decent people. But they won't lift a finger to help when the foreigner is being harassed.

I dunno.. I followed the forum on test injections. Complained that the 'reliable' places in Bangkok to get test weren't delivering. Turned out I was right. Managed to source some test in the end.

Didn't stop me from getting private messages from people I didn't know saying that I was obviously "creepy", obviously a beta and obviously had a "loser vibe". That was why pharmacies that don't stock test, didn't stock test.

Mileage is going to vary.

The relevance for OP is that the sweet or sassy local girls are not going to want to turn their worlds upside down by dating a foreign guy who maybe has good looks or good game.

The social backdrop makes a big difference.

Nnja edit: would not ever do PDA with a local girl. Strictly polite distance.
White guy I know dated a hill-tribe girl, stylish, educated ethnic girl. Neighbours and landlord were so angered that they went to his house as a group and involved the police. he stood his ground but there was a lot of talking and meetings with various different parties before they would allow him to have her back to his again unharassed.