[Phanes]

So I took a girl home from a bar and banged her in the bathroom while my friend and her friend was in the other room

Since then we have had sex three times. Two days ago she asked me what I was doing and I said I was going to a bar to meet my friend. Then she didn't want to meet on the day we had talked about meeting. Now I believe I might have pushed her away because we have been exchanging hearts and love emoticons and she believes, rightfully, that I went to the bar to pickup some other girl.

What can I say to her?

[kinjutsu]

Don't say anything.
You don't owe her any answers because shes not your girlfriend.
If she asks what you're doing on a day you dont have plans to meet up with then it's not any of her business. In the future just answer "my friend is coming over to watch the game". If/when you go out to the bar, and run into her, just say he got hungry and we went eat and met up with some people we know from school/work/sports club.


However, if you are interested in keeping her around as a fuck buddy/friends with benefits situation then i suggest you meet her in person and establish some ground rules and curb expectations if she thinks because you're fucking she gets exclusive access to your dick.

[Phanes]

Thanks.

[Geomann180]

So, what happened?

G

[Phanes]

She messaged me and we are meeting on Friday like nothing happened.

[Geomann180]

Keep us posted.

G

[Phanes]

Ok

[Phanes]

Earlier in the week she suggested we meet on Friday. We sent some messages back and forth and then on Friday I asked if she wanted to watch a movie at my place. She said maybe. I said ok and then she didn't say anything so there was no meetup.

Now I'm thinking it was a trap to see if I have other things to do a Friday evening and fear it decreased the attraction, it certainly feels so. Knew I should have said let's reschedule to another day but gave in to old way of thinking. Next time I will.

[Geomann180]

Could you give an example of text exchanges/time between texts?

G

[Illusionist]

Seems more the case that she's upset you're still going out without her. You probably need to set expectations as Kinjutsu said if you still want to keep in contact with her.

[Phanes]

Geomann180 I'll give examples later don't have time right now.

Today this conversation transpired:

Her: hi
Me: Hi <name>
Her: what's up
Me: out in the sun. what about you?
Her: nothing. home.
Me: come have dinner tonight.
Her: what time?
Me: 6pm
Her: okey maybe we meet hehe

What would you respond to that? Now it's 5:50 pm.

[heavy]

Sounds like...You won the upper hand when you banged her so quickly. You continue winning with your actions going out without her.

The next step is for her to know you still want her. This is a universal need for women.

She questions that you still want her when you go out without her.
She questions that you still want her when she prompts the text exchange.
She questions that you still want her when she has to initiate any exchange.

So, do you still want her around? Then let her be the woman she wants and don't make her initiate. Or treat her as if you don't care and are just interested in banging chicks, and she'll only stick around a few weeks. Up to you.

Most women will only stick around so long being an occasional accessory.
(I'm speaking from experience. I used to want girls to stick around, but also be single. In my early days I kept a girl around for a year. Now I know, it really is up to you how you want to frame the relationship. It's up to her to agree to it or not.)

[Phanes]

(04-21-2019 09:54 PM)Geomann180 Wrote:  

Could you give an example of text exchanges/time between texts?

G

13th of april 11:52
Me: good morning
her: good morning
Me: how are you?
her: good
me: thumbs up. What are you doing?
her:nothing
me: do you want to meet later?
her:you want meet me?
me:Yes (in mongolian, she is mongolian)
her:haha okey
me:9pm?
her: mmm maybe
tounge sticking out emoji
12:11
me:ok talk to you later tounge sticking out emoji
12:45
her: okey
13:20
her: today you ask job?
me: you said you were not interested in job
her: not for me I have a job it is my mom who need job
15:24
me: ok
her:thanks
16:30
me: do you want to have dinner at 6 pm?
her: mmm maybe hehe
me: ok

14th april
18:38
her: hej what's up
19:09
me: hey, I'm taking a walk
her:aha

20:18
me: Do you want to meet and watch a movie?
her:next friday I no work, we meet friday?
me:ok kissing emoji
her: bear doing thumgs up

22:51
me:thumbs up

23:25
her: love emote
me: heart emote
her: love emote

23:44
me: laughing emote, good night
her: okey good night

(04-22-2019 11:25 AM)heavy Wrote:  

Sounds like...You won the upper hand when you banged her so quickly. You continue winning with your actions going out without her.

The next step is for her to know you still want her. This is a universal need for women.

She questions that you still want her when you go out without her.
She questions that you still want her when she prompts the text exchange.
She questions that you still want her when she has to initiate any exchange.

So, do you still want her around? Then let her be the woman she wants and don't make her initiate. Or treat her as if you don't care and are just interested in banging chicks, and she'll only stick around a few weeks. Up to you.

Most women will only stick around so long being an occasional accessory.
(I'm speaking from experience. I used to want girls to stick around, but also be single. In my early days I kept a girl around for a year. Now I know, it really is up to you how you want to frame the relationship. It's up to her to agree to it or not.)

Thank you for your reply.

How do I let her know I still want her?

[Geomann180]

^Pretty sparse texting. Sounds like there's a communication barrier as she appears to text only a small bit because she doesn't understand English well or is embarrassed by her own. Or she's one of those girls who doesn't like to talk much. You need to do more talking, which is better if you can get her on the phone rather than text.

Stop asking her if she wants to meet. Decide on something you want to do and then invite her along. Tell her to come with you.

"I'm gonna sing Karaoke tonight. Come with me."

"Ok, when?"

"Meet me at X location and at X time"

Then if she shows up, have a good time, try to kiss her or at least make some progress to see if you actually have chemistry. If she doesn't, enjoy the activity you were gonna do anyway, and try no more than one or two times more to invite her out somewhere. If you can, pick someplace close by her so it's easy logistics for her. With Asian girls, especially ones who seem to not be so talkative, you gotta do more leg work and get things moving yourself. They're not as forward as...American girls, for example.

Also, when texting, take more initiative to keep the conversation going. When she asked you what you were up to and you said you were taking a walk, she replied, "Aha" and then you left it. Why didn't you ask her what she was doing? What she was up to? It looks to me you're trying not to be too eager or aloof through text, which is commonly advised when texting American girls. But in this case, it probably just looks like you're not that interested, to her. Don't expect her as a girl to reach out to you - as long as she keeps responding when you text her, you're doing fine. Also when she sent the heart emotes, and you took 20 minutes to say good night, you coulda just sent it right after the heart emotes. It's a small thing but it looks strange if you don't reply right away to certain things which is a simple way for me to explain that right now (will try to explain better later).

And remember, I'm a guy on the internet, 10s if not 100s or 1000s of miles away, making educated guesses based on the medium of text. A very finicky, imprecise way to communciate with someone else. Take my advice/observations with a grain of salt.

Hope this helps.

G

[Phanes]

Thanks. The advice on how to invite her was very good, she responded much better to that than asking.

[Geomann180]

(04-26-2019 07:50 AM)Phanes Wrote:  

Thanks. The advice on how to invite her was very good, she responded much better to that than asking.

Glad to help.

As a side note, I reread the OP and realized you'd already banged her so some of my advice was redundant.

G

[Phanes]

Ok.

She says maybe a lot when I tell her to meet.

What would you respond to that?

Edit:

Me: I am going walking on Sunday. Come with.

Her: ok

Me: meet at X at 7 pm

Her: ok, maybe I go to

[The King]

(04-26-2019 12:22 PM)Phanes Wrote:  

Ok.

She says maybe a lot when I tell her to meet.

What would you respond to that?

Edit:

Me: I am going walking on Sunday. Come with.

Her: ok

Me: meet at X at 7 pm

Her: ok, maybe I go to

You don't want to let a girl leave you with "maybe" or "I'll let you know". Your time is worth more than hanging around waiting for a girls answer.

You should hit her back with "maybe?"(put in the inverted commas, to emphasise that you don't speak in uncertain language, you don't know what it means)

Another option is to wait for the time that you mentioned, but don't show up or send any texts. If she doesn't text you then she wasn't looking to meet up anyway.

I need to read the rest of the thread for full context, however.

Edit: I see that you've already fucked the girl a few times. Make no mistake, even that's no guarantee that she'll stick around and do whatever you want. I had a girl flake on me to get some doughnuts with her housemates, even after fucking. She went cold after our next meet.

[Phanes]

This Sunday I said hi, she said hi, I said what are you doing se responded then I said I'm watching a movie tonight. Come over. She says hehe then nothing.

Now I feel like it's her turn to initiate a conversation because she turned me down two times in a row.

Am I wrong? I'm following the advice in the relationship section of Game that says she needs to work for it as well. Although we have not fucked 5 times so don't know if we are in a relationship, certainly feels like that though.

[melikey]

Your texts are so cold and you also seem to write a bunch of weird emojis that dont really fit. You cant just invite her over and over all the time, if she said no the previous time she is going to say no the next one. There are two good indications that she is not that interested 1) She doesnt give a excuxe 2) she doesnt try to reschedule.

I think its common that guys make this mistake. Whenever I end up in this situation I just re-start the convo a bit with some banter / funny memes. Try to make her laugh or just chat about some everyday shit that you will talk about with your buddy.

You should ignore her more often too, like when you ask her out and she says no and she text the next day. I dont think there is some more obvious thirst for attention, its something only stupid young girls do imo. You got to show that you are in charge of the relationship. So i think its good way to re-start the convo the way I described above, if it goes well you can ask her out that day or the next few days. But try not to ask her out all the time / talk to her all the time, it will just push her further away untill some points when its impossible to repair.

For every time you fail to get her to meet you, I think its good to ignore her for longer and longer. It comes across as more attractive if you are busy with some other stuff besides just asking her out all the time.