[soup]

Beta = needs mommy
alpha = doesn't need mommy

[Amour Fou]

(10-12-2011 02:46 AM)soup Wrote:  

Beta = needs mommy
alpha = doesn't need mommy

Simply stated and to the point.

I like that, makes sense to me.

[big poppa]

"needs mommy" in what way? As in - alpha's are independent financially, etc. while beta's aren't?

[Amour Fou]

(10-12-2011 09:21 AM)big poppa Wrote:  

"needs mommy" in what way? As in - alpha's are independent financially, etc. while beta's aren't?

As in dependent on female approval. As in projecting the same overbearing relationship you had with mom on the women you are sexually interested in. As in bystanding your needs in order to be "a good boy" and please "mom" ie women in your life you want to develop a sexual relationship with, but can't, as you keep repeating the same mother-child pattern you had as a kid. As in being a boy seeking external approval and validation instead of being a man and acting according to your own will and self-determined values. As in being reactive and passive towards the world instead of active and creative.

And it goes on and on.

[soup]

(10-15-2011 05:18 AM)Amour Fou Wrote:  

(10-12-2011 09:21 AM)big poppa Wrote:  

"needs mommy" in what way? As in - alpha's are independent financially, etc. while beta's aren't?

As in dependent on female approval. As in projecting the same overbearing relationship you had with mom on the women you are sexually interested in. As in bystanding your needs in order to be "a good boy" and please "mom" ie women in your life you want to develop a sexual relationship with, but can't, as you keep repeating the same mother-child pattern you had as a kid. As in being a boy seeking external approval and validation instead of being a man and acting according to your own will and self-determined values. As in being reactive and passive towards the world instead of active and creative.

And it goes on and on.

Yes- this is the heart of what I was saying.

I get aggravated when girls compliment me during sex. I don't believe anything they say and it feels like they are trying to be dominant and trying to validate me which means that I've fucked up in some way and triggered some kind of mommy feeling in them. The only way to know if you've dominated in sex is if the girl loses her shit and is freaking out because it's so good. If she's not making any real noise like she's in pain (none of that fake porno shit), or if she is all quiet, then that's not a good sign.
..

As far as validation goes.. I wonder if I'm doing what I do for notch count or for the notches themselves. This may sound beta, but I want something that feels like a real connection. And I'm not talking about LTRs even. I want real connection from a chick even in a ONS. And I've had that on occassion. But, I think most girls don't have the chick version of balls to be that vulnerable without being tacky on a ONS. Maybe they are out there, but I'm pretty sure I'd need better game to get with them.