[The_e_man]

(03-21-2019 07:06 AM)luigi Wrote:  

but its what spanish girls want these days. I dont follow that game, i like keeping a masculine look.

Ok that's fair enough but you have to realize you are living in a market where girls like the type of look you don't like to possess.
If you want to be rugged and masculine, then move out of the island where the girls want the feminine pretty boys.

[RatInTheWoods]

Its a problem when where you live doesn't have the girls you want. I am in the same boat.

It means either a move for women (not recommended) or you go hunting to bring one back...

Neither a good solution.

[Alpone]

Practical advice: Move to a more populated area in Spain or Europe. You're right, girls are a numbers game. You need a bigger city on the mainland.

Abstract advice: Nobody is entitled to love except as a baby. And even then, you're lucky if you get it. Instead of asking for love, what love are you putting out into the world? Are you conducting your life in such a way that you even deserve love? Is your cup so full that you want to bring a deserving woman into it to compliment your life and to benefit both of you, or are you looking for a relationship to fill a hungry void?

[kaotic]

While I may not know the region well I see some massive excuses here.

Ideas are suggested, immediately batted down.

Dudes are getting picky, have not much to offer to women in return. (What have you done for me lately?)

OP has passive income and plenty of TIME on his hand.

High odds he's not investing much into himself as we're led to believe.

OP needs to start focusing on himself and giving us more details of what ACTUAL internal/external factors he can control that he's having issues with.

If you can eventually game in what you say is a difficult location/region then hell, you can game anywhere. Sink or swim strategy.

[wi30]

Maybe you should stop letting your brother Mario get the best pussy in the Kingdom.

[tomzestatlu]

(03-21-2019 07:06 AM)luigi Wrote:  

(03-21-2019 06:58 AM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  

So you have passive income, don't have to work? Wheres the problem? It's hard to find LTR material, but you are in the best position you can be. Girls are too focus on looks? There are guys who work 12 hours a day and then go to gym. If you don't have to work, there's not excuse for not be the best shape guy in 100 miles radius. There are guys, who can't go find a girl abroad, because they have only 20 days of vacation per year.

Im not saying that finding quality girl is easy and everybody aware of todays girl is struggling with this and it takes time, it might take up to years. Just get out of party island.

Ive been working out for more than a decade, also have done steroids a few times.

Spanish men try so hard to be liked by women, they focus so much on looks to the point that they look almost femenine, the way they dress, the hairstyles, they do their eyebrows... Slav girls laugh at them, but its what spanish girls want these days. I dont follow that game, i like keeping a masculine look.

I have never been to Spain, but there are a lot of erasmus students from Spain here. I have dealt a lot with them on different events or clubs, where I worked as a bouncer. To be honest, the girls were bad, by their looks, the ways they dressed and behavior. And men just aren´t men, I agree.

I guess Malorca might be good to hit on foreign tourist girls. For anything else you should seek at different place.

[Bienvenuto]

(03-21-2019 06:20 AM)luigi Wrote:  

After my thread about how im tired of dates and ONS, i want to go deeper.

Im 32 and have a lot of trouble finding a "keeper". I almost never feel enough chemistry to like someone for a LTR, and when it happens, the girl isnt into me. Also happens the other way, some girls fall in love with me, but they are not my kind. Story of my life.

>> This is the kind of emotional thinking that happens when people have limited life experience.

Most people who have travelled and lived abroad and done a lot career wise or gaming chicks in different markets realise that there are millions of different chicks but that they themselves have have limited time and many of their own limitations to be overcome.<<

Ive had 3 relationships that didnt go well. Thanks to these experiences i know how to filter and what i want in life.

>>No shame in admitting that there is alot you don't know yet. Your filters? That will always be a work in progress<<

I hate when people say "stop searching and it will come to you".

>>No-one on this forum would say that to you.<<


First, this happens only to women because they are hit on every day multiple times.

Second, how is it going to come to you if you are not "visible" and active? In my case, i own real estate and dont have to work for a living, therefore i barely meet new people.

>>Massive leverage to change things right there<<

I also live in Spain, which is a country where girls are specially picky, to make things worse, i live in an island which makes it "hard mode", because girls look to care more about having a "trophy" boyfriend instead of someone who makes them happy, its very very physical and they are not always very LTR oriented until the clock ticks. Also again, being on an island, my chances are geographically limited.

I love slav girls (had two exes from poland who live here), i could travel abroad for a couple months and try my luck there, the problem is that you have to find a woman willing to leave everything behind and go to your country.

>>Why can't you sell your property and relocate or become location independent if you feel stuck in your island?

Is this a portfolio of properties that you built yourself or is it part of a family business?<<


Anecdote: My last good candidate came out after a dating break, right the first day when i decided to try again. After meeting every single day for a month and having great times, she turned out to be into violent and sadistic sex (very different from rough sex), everything was going great and unexpectedly she dumped me from one day to another, mostly because i wasnt into leaving her with bruises on every normal everyday sex session.

>>She wasn't a good match. At all.

You have a lot of room to find better and in the process refine your filters by going out into the rest of the world.<<

Before coming back to dating i promised myself i was trying for the last time and then i would give up completely from relationships.

>>Emotional thinking<<

I thought maybe my way of life could be "mini loves" or FWB all along my life, but to be honest im pissed that i cannot find a keeper.

>> Its normal to want to find something more significant and long lasting.

Dont base your strategy on hasty decisions made after some bad experiences.<<

This talking about I go to the gym alot already, been doing it for years, and anyway Spanish women want me to look like vain Spanish men who look like faggots.

Its a false opposition.


You cannot massively leverage your physique , looks and style? Doubtful.

You are looking amazing already after 10 years gymming it? Not likely given what you are saying.

If you get big and chiselled in a way that the entire female world finds attractive Spanish women would still reject you? Doubt it.

If you make solid efforts in this direction Satan will steal up behind you and before you know it you will go from a ripped and jacked thunder-Chad to a faggot with threaded eyebrows and a waxed little beard always looking at his reflection and taking selfies of himself? You are the one who controls that outcome.

I don't have all or any of the answers but it seems that with your work/ finances/ location/ amount-of-different-women-dated/ SMV-build-fitness-fashion-style there is loads of room to leverage things that may give you different results.

[luigi]

(03-22-2019 04:48 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  

This talking about I go to the gym alot already, been doing it for years, and anyway Spanish women want me to look like vain Spanish men who look like faggots.

Its a false opposition.


You cannot massively leverage your physique , looks and style? Doubtful.

You are looking amazing already after 10 years gymming it? Not likely given what you are saying.

If you get big and chiselled in a way that the entire female world finds attractive Spanish women would still reject you? Doubt it.

If you make solid efforts in this direction Satan will steal up behind you and before you know it you will go from a ripped and jacked thunder-Chad to a faggot with threaded eyebrows and a waxed little beard always looking at his reflection and taking selfies of himself? You are the one who controls that outcome.

I don't have all or any of the answers but it seems that with your work/ finances/ location/ amount-of-different-women-dated/ SMV-build-fitness-fashion-style there is loads of room to leverage things that may give you different results.

My height is 180 centimeters.
When i started i was less than 67kilograms. Now im between 85 and 86, you tell me if ive done wrong. I dont get why you focus on my body now, but i assure its the least of my worries. I get the "have you done steroids" almost on every date.

I know my self worth and have a satisfying amount of hookups if i want. Another thing is finding quality women. Like i said, a lot focus too much on "living life" until the clock ticks and they want children.

About completely relocating, this place is too good to leave both for living and for me economically.

[Bienvenuto]

(03-21-2019 06:58 AM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  

So you have passive income, don't have to work? Wheres the problem? It's hard to find LTR material, but you are in the best position you can be. Girls are too focus on looks? There are guys who work 12 hours a day and then go to gym. If you don't have to work, there's not excuse for not be the best shape guy in 100 miles radius. There are guys, who can't go find a girl abroad, because they have only 20 days of vacation per year.

Im not saying that finding quality girl is easy and everybody aware of todays girl is struggling with this and it takes time, it might take up to years. Just get out of party island.

I am following Tomzestatlu's question but if you mean that girls are only focused on the whole metrosexual look that may neutralise the question.

If your argument is that you are already in shape or that you have already achieved alot then that would bring us to here:

thread-32580.html

If you believe that being jacked and ripped only goes so far then you are not alone as you can see from the argument raging in the above thread.

I don't know you and so I would guess that you would know better than me.

Maybe others can help you.

I would question what you are asking of forum members though.

You started this thread saying that you had 'awful luck' and wanted to change your situation. I could be making a mistake but right now it seems that either nothing needs to change... or it cannot change.

A catch 22 situation which makes people wonder why you asked for advice in the first place.

Hopefully someone can help you and you seem like a decent guy so I wish you luck turning things around.

[luigi]

(03-22-2019 07:08 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  

I am following Tomzestatlu's question but if you mean that girls are only focused on the whole metrosexual look that may neutralise the question.

If your argument is that you are already in shape or that you have already achieved alot then that would bring us to here:

thread-32580.html

If you believe that being jacked and ripped only goes so far then you are not alone as you can see from the argument raging in the above thread.

I don't know you and so I would guess that you would know better than me.

Maybe others can help you.

I would question what you are asking of forum members though.

You started this thread saying that you had 'awful luck' and wanted to change your situation. I could be making a mistake but right now it seems that either nothing needs to change... or it cannot change.

A catch 22 situation which makes people wonder why you asked for advice in the first place.

Hopefully someone can help you and you seem like a decent guy so I wish you luck turning things around.

Regarding size, i would say "big enough" but dont think its THAT BIG in a way that i scare them. (interesting link btw)

Things can change, i want your different opinions, points of view and suggestions for my situation. I may like some and others i may not, but i will read and consider all.

[Ouroboros]

(03-22-2019 05:46 AM)luigi Wrote:  

About completely relocating, this place is too good to leave both for living and for me economically.

If Mallorca is as nice as I've heard (and as you and others have suggested in this thread) then it should be more than feasible to convince a foreign girl to leave her homeland for you.

I'm sure plenty of women living in cold, dreary former Soviet/Eastern Bloc cities would love to relocate to a sunny Mediterranean island.

[Vill@in]

(03-22-2019 12:45 AM)wi30 Wrote:  

Maybe you should stop letting your brother Mario get the best pussy in the Kingdom.

[scorpion]

You live on a beautiful destination island and don't have to work for a living. Those are two enormous assets that 99% of men can't match. You should feel very fortunate and should take full advantage of them both. If I were in your exact position I'd split most of my productive energy into three areas:

1) Develop a great social circle on the island
2) Start a small business that caters to tourists, particularly something that appeals to young women
3) Get in really great shape and maximum your appearance/fashion

#2 is the key for your pipeline. If you've got a business that's constantly bringing young tourist women into your orbit, it's just a matter of time until something clicks with one of them. And if you've put in the work to develop your social circle and appearance you are literally a walking, talking fantasy for tons of women: a successful, handsome, popular guy who lives in paradise and who wants to bring her there to join that lifestyle.

[eck]

I understand the OP because I'm also spanish, and living in a city with lots of students. Your solution, apart from working on yourself, comes with:

a) Daygame. Approach female tourists there, there must be a lot.
b) Move to a slav country, daygame there and learn the language.

You are lucky, tomorrow you can be living in Kiev, for example, and in one day you'll get more IOIs than in a month in Spain, so move your ass and tell us! By the way, have you ever lived in EE for weeks, and approached there? You must go were your SMV attracts what you want, there is no way round.

[Disco_Volante]

I saw a video of Catholic pre-marriage counselling for young couples wanting to get married. The priest openly tells them that feeling of love isn't going to be there after a while, so they needed a "higher purpose" in getting married. I.E. society, children, community, etc... So if even a priest is telling you love is bullshit then I wouldn't worry about it. It's a fleeting emotion.
Marriage is a contract with long-term benefits, at best. It's not something that will necessarily "feel good" after a couple years. I just think some people have personalities more aligned with that lifestyle than others like introverts.

Also you can't "find love" because the female mind is not attracted to that type of behavior. They aren't into you the way you're into them. You act like a caring gentleman they are repulsed by that behavior. Their minds are only attracted to certain behaviors, and contingent on you behaving 'that way'. This is why society had restraints on womens' behavior, choices, and dating, because you're forced to be an arrogant, witty, aloof, master of game to get a decent looking girl now.

[jcardial]

Places with great weather and beaches get hordes of tourists and the local women naturally develop a strong tendency to stick to their social circles. They develop a knee jerk resistance to meeting new people since they're getting accosted by transients all of the time (especially the most attractive ones).

If you insist on staying in a place like Mallorca, social circle is probably inevitable (as it is in most places for top quality, but especially smaller touristy places). If you have enough money to not work, it shouldn't be that hard to invest more in networking and the occasional cocktail party on your roof terrace or whatever.

If you're living a relatively solitary semi-retired life and expecting to find a quality LTR online from the comfort of your home, you will be disappointed pretty much anywhere in the world.

[MrLemon]

(03-21-2019 08:06 AM)KnjazMihailo Wrote:  

(03-21-2019 06:20 AM)luigi Wrote:  

After my thread about how im tired of dates and ONS, i want to go deeper.

Im 32 and have a lot of trouble finding a "keeper". I almost never feel enough chemistry to like someone for a LTR, and when it happens, the girl isnt into me. Also happens the other way, some girls fall in love with me, but they are not my kind. Story of my life.

Ive had 3 relationships that didnt go well. Thanks to these experiences i know how to filter and what i want in life.

I hate when people say "stop searching and it will come to you". First, this happens only to women because they are hit on every day multiple times. Second, how is it going to come to you if you are not "visible" and active? In my case, i own real estate and dont have to work for a living, therefore i barely meet new people. I also live in Spain, which is a country where girls are specially picky, to make things worse, i live in an island which makes it "hard mode", because girls look to care more about having a "trophy" boyfriend instead of someone who makes them happy, its very very physical and they are not always very LTR oriented until the clock ticks. Also again, being on an island, my chances are geographically limited.

I love slav girls (had two exes from poland who live here), i could travel abroad for a couple months and try my luck there, the problem is that you have to find a woman willing to leave everything behind and go to your country.


Anecdote: My last good candidate came out after a dating break, right the first day when i decided to try again. After meeting every single day for a month and having great times, she turned out to be into violent and sadistic sex (very different from rough sex), everything was going great and unexpectedly she dumped me from one day to another, mostly because i wasnt into leaving her with bruises on every normal everyday sex session.

Before coming back to dating i promised myself i was trying for the last time and then i would give up completely from relationships. I thought maybe my way of life could be "mini loves" or FWB all along my life, but to be honest im pissed that i cannot find a keeper.

Okay, let me tell you a few things that i see and nobody else here has really commented on.

You say, "chemistry". Wtf does that even mean??? Its just some mainstream blue pill bs for normies. course)

"Chemistry" usually means that the woman seems like a good potential wife. It's actually super important, but it's not just about sex appeal. Chemistry is about your genetic compatibility. Your DNA and her DNA are talking to each other. If she smells good and looks good, I don't mean just "sexy" but, she smells like the mother of your children, that's probably because you are a good match genetically. That means you'll have healthy children. Of course you want her to be old fashioned, hard working, and frugal, and dedicated to being a good mother.

The single biggest advice I can give is this: make a specific point of NOT looking for sex. Instead, look for a WIFE. Those are two different ways of looking at women.

When I met my wife, she was completely different from girls I had chased just for sex. She was a woman I could see bearing my children and being the grandmother to THEIR children.

[luigi]

(03-21-2019 08:06 AM)KnjazMihailo Wrote:  

You say, "chemistry". Wtf does that even mean??? Its just some mainstream blue pill bs for normies. The whole concept of love is a scam imho. I'm even tempted to go so far as to say that its a mental illness. Oneitis is a real thing and its something you absolutely need to avoid.

Wait.

Im very aware that in my lifetime theres not ONLY ONE for me, waiting somewhere in the world, looking at the rain on her window and hoping to come across the one that happens to be me.

I know that the same way i could meet "WOMAN 1", marry her and spend most of my life together (before divoce lol), there will always be WOMAN2, WOMAN3, WOMAN4 (and so on up until millions) who can offer me the same, more or less. Theres lot of pussy in the world but you have to filter and when you filter its when you have a harder time finding someone.

Chemistry... dont know how to define it into words. If youve had many relationships, even if they didnt work and you would never repeat with them, you can tell who of those women was better than the others. Everything flowed, you read each others minds, felt more tailor-made for you, gave you better moments. I guess that would help hinting what i mean with chemistry, its an abstract concept deeper than just a physical thing.

(03-24-2019 12:42 AM)MrLemon Wrote:  

The single biggest advice I can give is this: make a specific point of NOT looking for sex. Instead, look for a WIFE. Those are two different ways of looking at women.

Not sure if i follow you.

You mean commit myself to find wife material only and avoid ons girls? Or being clear with them from the beginning?

Isnt the last thing seen as a weakness even on women who want ltr? Like openly declaring that you want love so they know you wont be that much of a challenge.

[SamuelBRoberts]

Did you look under the couch? Whenever I'm looking for something it's always under the couch.

[luigi]

(03-24-2019 07:17 AM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  

Did you look under the couch? Whenever I'm looking for something it's always under the couch.

No luck, just a few coins and the remote controller

[MrLemon]

(03-24-2019 05:09 AM)luigi Wrote:  

Not sure if i follow you.

You mean commit myself to find wife material only and avoid ons girls? Or being clear with them from the beginning?

If you want a wife, then you are looking for a wife, not ONS.

If you are looking for ONS, then look for that.

Your entire approach to women will change when you decide what you want. A man looking for a wife, seriously and with purposefulness, gives off a completely different vibe. And of course women pick up on that instantly...they have 100 million years of evolution that has trained them how to look for a man who is looking for a mate.

[luigi]

(03-24-2019 05:43 PM)MrLemon Wrote:  

(03-24-2019 05:09 AM)luigi Wrote:  

Not sure if i follow you.

You mean commit myself to find wife material only and avoid ons girls? Or being clear with them from the beginning?

If you want a wife, then you are looking for a wife, not ONS.

If you are looking for ONS, then look for that.

Your entire approach to women will change when you decide what you want. A man looking for a wife, seriously and with purposefulness, gives off a completely different vibe. And of course women pick up on that instantly...they have 100 million years of evolution that has trained them how to look for a man who is looking for a mate.

For the last couple of years ive been looking for a LTR/wife. But for the sake of my mental health that doesnt mean i will remain celibate in the process. Im just myself on dates and dont aim to something specific. I go neutral, because i dont know what to expect.

That means no matter if the woman wants just ONS or LTR, they will get to know the same version of me. Im a straightforward and transparent person. I get the "what are you looking for?" a lot. I say im open to anything, whatever has to happen, both "friends" and relationship is fine for me, time will tell. I dont think my answer matters because at the end of the day, the result comes from the compatibility we may or not have.

Tell me what you think.

[Conquistador]

Have you tried going for girls that are more on the plain/average side of the spectrum?

Very attractive girls generally are not really relationship material, while less attractive ones have to make up for their physical shortcomings and usually have more pleasant personalities and are more accommodating.

You may want to have the best of both worlds which is not as easy to obtain. You want to have your cake and eat it too so to speak, which I can't really blame you for.

[luigi]

(03-24-2019 11:25 PM)Conquistador Wrote:  

Have you tried going for girls that are more on the plain/average side of the spectrum?

Very attractive girls generally are not really relationship material, while less attractive ones have to make up for their physical shortcomings and usually have more pleasant personalities and are more accommodating.

You may want to have the best of both worlds which is not as easy to obtain. You want to have your cake and eat it too so to speak, which I can't really blame you for.

I dont need a "very" attractive girl, just attractive. Im going to fuck just her for the rest of my life, so at least i have to choose a minimum.

[JackinMelbourne]

(03-21-2019 06:20 AM)luigi Wrote:  

After my thread about how im tired of dates and ONS, i want to go deeper.

You can't get to the deeper water without wading through the shallow water.

(03-21-2019 06:20 AM)luigi Wrote:  

its very very physical and they are not always very LTR oriented until the clock ticks.

No problem, just wait till they mature or go for older chicks.

(03-21-2019 06:20 AM)luigi Wrote:  

i could travel abroad for a couple months and try my luck there, the problem is that you have to find a woman willing to leave everything behind and go to your country.

You haven't even tried, already defeated. Chicks love travelling and escaping from where they are then making their friends jealous back home.

(03-21-2019 06:20 AM)luigi Wrote:  

After meeting every single day for a month and having great times, she turned out to be into violent and sadistic sex (very different from rough sex), everything was going great and unexpectedly she dumped me from one day to another, mostly because i wasnt into leaving her with bruises on every normal everyday sex session.

Pussy.

Also, under no circumstance should you see a chick every single day. That's a recipe for getting bored real quick, for you and for her.

(03-21-2019 06:20 AM)luigi Wrote:  

Before coming back to dating i promised myself i was trying for the last time and then i would give up completely from relationships. I thought maybe my way of life could be "mini loves" or FWB all along my life, but to be honest im pissed that i cannot find a keeper.

Who are you pissed off at and why? Yourself, women or both?