Quote: (01-20-2019 04:21 PM)Cavorite Wrote:
Thanks. I'm pretty good with kino escalation. My problem is transitioning from basic talk to building a deeper rapport. There have to be routines for this somewhere.
90% of human communication is non-verbal. So if you're actually having success with physical escalation (getting laid on dates), there's probably no need to switch things up with your conversation game.
However, from my experience, it's hard to do proper physical escalation without also moving to a deeper conversation. Pretty tough to start making out with a girl when you're talking about your job or your favorite movies. The two tend to go hand in hand with getting her in bed.
While there are a bunch of routines and games out there that attempt to do this (strawberry fields, 21 questions, etc), I'm not a fan of these. They're repetitive/boring and pretty awkward to bust out in the middle of date. I firmly believe that to get in deep with a girl, you have to show at least a little personality and even vulnerability. Here is my typical "routine" during a date.
1) Set up date at a quieter bar/lounge. I will always sit next to her, whether in a booth or at the bar. If you have to sit across, bounce to a "next to" spot (ie: at the bar) once seats become available. Sitting across kills the vibe and makes it much harder to make a move. If she finds that weird, she's not going to be fucking you, so might as well bounce right then and there and not waste your time.
2) Early in the convo you can talk about anything, whether its favorite nightlife spots, movies, doesn't matter. Over time, start to ask things that are slightly more personal, and always frame it very open ended. An easy one is "tell me about your favorite travel story". The goal is to probe for something that she is really interested in and wants to talk about.
3) Once you find the right topic and she starts talking consistently, listen and ask casual/half-serious questions. If she starts babbling about traveling all of Europe (like every basic white chick), I'll joke "which country was the best on Tinder" or shit like that. She might answer seriously, but most likely she'll punch your arm and laugh and then keep going.
4) At this point, especially if she asks, have a story of yours ready as well. I have stories that I tend to share on dates which present the image of a fun/adventurous guy. I've always had good story-telling ability where I can make a trip to the grocery store sounds like a Lord of the Rings plotline, so this helps. Make it sound as if it is a really personal story, and you're letting her in on it. Not everybody will agree with this, but I rarely get laid on first dates playing the ultra-alpha card where I show zero vulnerability.
5) This entire time, you've hopefully been escalating physically, and have put your arm around her, etc. Keep the convo rolling as long as you want. I rarely spend more than 1.5 hours in one venue with a girl, at that point you should know whether its happening or not.