[MistyWits]

Hi all,

I'm currently in a transition phase in my 20s.

And I don't know what to do anymore exactly.

As the world changes and sets up for the 21st century, I'm at a loss.

I think everyone had that feeling that you know you are lied to. I had it
my whole life but couldn't express it to the fullest until I found this
and other communities. When I read all of these things I thought
I was smart and said to myself: "That could never happen to me!". So I tried
to avoid anything to avoid the most common pitfalls did: marriage, going into
debts, choosing a nice carrier, avoid any crazy women etc. .

But it did.

I lost my job, girlfriend and soon my contract for my apartment will cease to exist. I don't have any friends. It all started when I arrived at my new job in a new town and it turned out my boss was a liberal. I wasn't aware of it before, but he's a type of guy who'll employ women just to get laid. Yeah, that kind of smoochie douchie guy. And then he hired his fat, useless manager, who seems can't lead or solve any issues whatsoever. I really loved my carrier and suddenly I couldn't work anymore. I figured they were just using me to ensure they can get the job done and giving me a lower wage. The usual pyramid scheme bullshit and other things.

I just don't know where to go anymore. And I can't go outside. I fear talking to people. I just feel constantly watched by people and used by them to ensure their lives are better than mine. How do you re-kindle the flame that was in your life to move on? What's wrong with me or something? Has anyone else experienced that before? I never felt more low energy in my life. I just can't get up.

[The Beast1]

Congrats! You're now a 20 year old man!

You're just now realizing that you aren't special, unique, and deserving to be a rockstar with thousands of groupies all wanting to hop on your dick.

It's like someone took your entire Lego city and completely destroyed it down to nothing but tiny bricks.

But don't fret! Now is the time where you can lay the foundation for real and succinct success that will build beyond your wildest dreams.

Women don't even understand. To them, post college is a time of relative decline into obscurity.

Your life my friend is just picking up.

So what's it going to be? Are you going to mope around like the whiny post makes it seem or are you going to kick life in the balls and grow up?

Because i'll tell you this, no one likes a "Woe is me".

[Spectrumwalker]

OP, without giving away to much about yourself, what do you do for work? And if guys give you advice will you not waste mens' time and actually heed it and keep us posted on your development? There's lots of men with experience that want to help. But, time and time again there's guys that come on here, ask for advive, never to be heard from again. Whether or not they take the advice and put it to use, no one knows . Time is the most precious resource we all have.

[MistyWits]

(01-15-2019 09:31 PM)Spectrumwalker Wrote:  

OP, without giving away to much about yourself, what do you do for work? And if guys give you advice will you not waste mens' time and actually heed it and keep us posted on your development? There's lots of men with experience that want to help. But, time and time again there's guys that come on here, ask for advive, never to be heard from again. Whether or not they take the advice and put it to use, no one knows . Time is the most precious resource we all have.

I'm a biochem engineer who worked for a big biotech company as a programmer.

Well, I can keep my progress here, but I'm not sure who it would help anyone.

[The Grey]

First, breath.

This is a completely normal situation to be in.

Most of us experience something similar, and know that it will pass brother. Some of the realities you have been faced with will not, but your feeling that everything is shit and the walls around you burning, will change. And know that it could always have been worse. Add 20 years to your life, three ugly kids, a fat wife, change your country from Denmark to Pakistan and you would be proper fucked.

Take another breath. Look yourself in the mirror and smile.

Learn to accept that certain things work in a certain way and learn how to cultivate an indifference to things outside your control. If there is something you don't like, but its unrealistic of you to change it in any meaningful way - accept it or plan to eliminate it from your life if possible. On the other hand, if it's realistic of you to change something you don't like (your job, your gf, your location etc) - consider if it's worth changing.

The main takeaway here is that we all get caught in a shitstorm from time to time (its called life) and it's here you build character and learn that you yourself have the ability to change this and actually design your life. Imagine what a more ideal life for you would be and start measures to change elements in your life until you get out of the hole you are in now.

If it was me, I would need a complete change of scenery and need new positive energy in my life. And I would achieve that with a few months of solo travel somewhere (preferably to countries with warm, positive and energetic cultures ie Latin / SE Asian countries).

[Winston Wolfe]

(01-15-2019 09:03 PM)MistyWits Wrote:  

I just don't know where to go anymore. And I can't go outside. I fear talking to people. I just feel constantly watched by people and used by them to ensure their lives are better than mine. How do you re-kindle the flame that was in your life to move on? What's wrong with me or something? Has anyone else experienced that before? I never felt more low energy in my life. I just can't get up.

Yes, you can go outside. Just open the door and walk through it.

I've been in a similar place you are at now and this shit can turn into a very negative downwards spiral in your life. Just sitting at home all day doing nothing and being anxious to talk to people or fearing what they think of you.

But the reality is, no one is going to force you out the door or force you to make change. The only person who can do that is you.

You need to take ownership of your life, take a long look in the mirror and tackle your problems one at a time.

The good news is, you still have plenty of time to do so. Do it now though, as time is the most precious asset you have, and the only asset you continuously spend all of your life and never get more of, only less and less.

I don't have enough context about your specific situation, but I'd start by hitting the gym hard. That'll get rid of your low energy problems and hopefully be the start of re-kindling that flame you mentioned.

[SamuelBRoberts]

You're a biochem engineer and don't know the difference between "career" and "carrier"?

Lord, no wonder we don't have a cure for cancer yet...

[Rhyme or Reason]

If you're saying sentences that go "Everyone _____ to me" in pretty much any context, you are approaching life and your place in the world the wrong way.

[MistyWits]

(01-15-2019 10:51 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  

If you're saying sentences that go "Everyone _____ to me" in pretty much any context, you are approaching life and your place in the world the wrong way.

What's the right way?

[Spectrumwalker]

(01-15-2019 09:35 PM)MistyWits Wrote:  

I'm a biochem engineer who worked for a big biotech company as a programmer.

Well, I can keep my progress here, but I'm not sure who it would help anyone.

The reason I ask what you're career field is, is that I truly believe in my heart of hearts that's where your biggest issue lies. You fear things. You're a man. You need to hone your masculinity and embrace challenge and struggle. And aint no way working in an office environment as a biotech engineer is going to help you and your self esteem, or your self respect and how you look at yourself.

Look, the world needs all types of people to work in all types of jobs to make the world go around. You're different. You've come here knowing you aren't reaching your full potential as a man. And good on you for that. But you are at an age where you need to expend your energy and learn to take pride in yourself. But the post you made, is from no man who takes pride in himself. Fuck your career field as an engineer. Now's the time for change. You already lost your job for whatever reason. Now is the perfect time to go off and work with your hands. There is no amount of pussy you can bang that will make you feel better about yourself than the type of work you provide to your country and to yourself. Working in a office with a uni degree or working in some starbucks type job is guaranteed depression. You go start off as a laborer sweeping floors or cleaning power tools if you have to. But go start some work somewhere where at the end of the day you take pride in stepping back and looking at what you, or what you helped accomplish. You're young enough where you can grind through it even if you don't like it. And if after a couple years of blood and sweat you want to go back to an office, then go for it. But you gotta be in tune with what your nature as a man screams for. And that's to work by the sweat of your brow which is something most men in todays world, because of laziness and stigma, avoid at all costs even though it would be good for them.

Scotian recently made the remark in another thread about how he'd rather work with retarded rough and tough blue collar types than white collar soyboys. Amen to that. You're young, and from the sound of it, you need to learn what it means to be a man among men. And there's no better way to do that, than to leave your comfort zone and go work with guys in some type of blue collar field. This is also going to be your biggest hurdle to get over, as you say you can't even go outside. i can read your timidity through your post, and you'll want to quit. But just remember quitters never win, and winners never quit. But it's what you need to do and man the fuck up and start to recognize yourself as a man. Not a little boy. I don't care if it's only even for one year, you need to go forge yourself in fire and develop some self respect. And there is no better way to develop self respect than to know you earned that respect by pulling your weight amongst a group of men struggling together to accomplish a goal through blood and sweat.

When you learn to respect yourself, everything else...money, self esteem, courage, strength, and women included will follow. And if I could go back in time to your age, I would beat the living fuck out of myself for choosing the field I was in and instead taken this advice I'm giving you. But your self respect needs to be validated. And when you earn that respect and validation because of your competence...you will see a change in your life and the way you walk and talk and take on the world.

You keep at it, and you'll become the man you always wanted to be, but never thought you could be.

edit* quit saying can't. You can do. Can't is for whiny losers.

[Ski pro]

Life is tough. Adapt or die.

[WanderingFlame]

It's quite simple: you have to stop thinking and start doing.

You were a programmer? It really shouldn't be difficult to find a job. Programmers are in demand and are generally well paid.

Literally: stop thinking. Ignore your brain. Get out of your head. Start doing. Then motivation will come back to you and you'll be making progress.

[H1N1]

It's a girl.

[Cr33pin]

If you just give up and keep sulking all your problems will go away

[Cavorite]

Here are two concrete steps you can do tomorrow:

• Work out to feel better about yourself.

• Join Toastmasters to get over your fear of speaking to people.

[PapayaTapper]

(01-15-2019 10:38 PM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  

You're a biochem engineer and don't know the difference between "career" and "carrier"?

Lord, no wonder we don't have a cure for cancer yet...

(01-15-2019 09:03 PM)MistyWits Wrote:  

I think everyone had that feeling that you know you are lied to. I had it
my whole life but couldn't express it to the fullest until I found this
and other communities. When I read all of these things I thought
I was smart and said to myself: "That could never happen to me!". So I tried
to avoid anything to avoid the most common pitfalls did: marriage, going into
debts, choosing a nice carrier, avoid any crazy women etc. .

Choice of cell phone provider can have life altering implications to some people now.

First world problems...yeesh

[Scott]

(01-16-2019 04:03 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(01-15-2019 10:38 PM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  

You're a biochem engineer and don't know the difference between "career" and "carrier"?

Lord, no wonder we don't have a cure for cancer yet...

(01-15-2019 09:03 PM)MistyWits Wrote:  

I think everyone had that feeling that you know you are lied to. I had it
my whole life but couldn't express it to the fullest until I found this
and other communities. When I read all of these things I thought
I was smart and said to myself: "That could never happen to me!". So I tried
to avoid anything to avoid the most common pitfalls did: marriage, going into
debts, choosing a nice carrier, avoid any crazy women etc. .

Choice of cell phone provider can have life altering implications to some people now.

First world problems...yeesh

Sure he doesn't mean this?

[Endless Escapes]

(01-15-2019 09:03 PM)MistyWits Wrote:  

Hi all,

I'm currently in a transition phase in my 20s.

And I don't know what to do anymore exactly.

As the world changes and sets up for the 21st century, I'm at a loss.

I think everyone had that feeling that you know you are lied to. I had it
my whole life but couldn't express it to the fullest until I found this
and other communities. When I read all of these things I thought
I was smart and said to myself: "That could never happen to me!". So I tried
to avoid anything to avoid the most common pitfalls did: marriage, going into
debts, choosing a nice carrier, avoid any crazy women etc. .

But it did.

I lost my job, girlfriend and soon my contract for my apartment will cease to exist. I don't have any friends. It all started when I arrived at my new job in a new town and it turned out my boss was a liberal. I wasn't aware of it before, but he's a type of guy who'll employ women just to get laid. Yeah, that kind of smoochie douchie guy. And then he hired his fat, useless manager, who seems can't lead or solve any issues whatsoever. I really loved my carrier and suddenly I couldn't work anymore. I figured they were just using me to ensure they can get the job done and giving me a lower wage. The usual pyramid scheme bullshit and other things.

I just don't know where to go anymore. And I can't go outside. I fear talking to people. I just feel constantly watched by people and used by them to ensure their lives are better than mine. How do you re-kindle the flame that was in your life to move on? What's wrong with me or something? Has anyone else experienced that before? I never felt more low energy in my life. I just can't get up.

Hi dude, congratulations to your strong post. I am so sorry to hear that you are having such troubles in your young life.

What your are experiencing is the plan of those guys who govern the world, the New World Order.

My advice is to never move locations for such a nonsense thing like a job. You lose your friends and you can hardly make (true) friends in new places. See the example of yourself.

Not having debts is a number one priority, keep this path! Not make debts!

For the girl, try to find one that you love. Don't listen to others. Listen to your heart. Sex is not important at all for having a long lasting relationship.

So, I am having two girl friends at the time being.
- One is a lovely shy girl that never had a boy friend before, good looking, serious, nice I just feel so good around her, and I love her.
- The other one is so sexy that all my friends tell me I should take that one. Sex with her is amazing. She wants to have twice a day, including the most fantastic things such as CIM and eating.
Well, my love goes to the first one.