[dirty_old]

Title pretty much says all. Any personal experience, suggestions of "pua's" who cover this well, or relevant "pickup material" written by introverts?

I've searched and read a bunch of other relevant posts, and many times you can tell from writing style etc whether a forum poster is more introverted or not. A lot of valuable info for example the "dance floor game" post, also some others with tips on pre going out routines (like working out and/or generally going out of the way during the day to be social, prior to going out)...but no posts covering night game & introverts specifically.

Interested in pushing myself to consistently get better at night game.

I have had times in my life when I've had pretty good luck pulling girls home from clubs and bars. Like 1 in every 5 times going out at times in my late 20's & early 30's. After college I never had/liked a large social group to go out with so I'm definitely to the point where I have no problem going out solo, at least 95% of the time I'll go out solo. I usually prefer the more crowded places, I'm not as comfortable in smaller bars (which is one thing I'd like to push myself to get over).

Often I find I'm in some small city that has 1-2 small clubs, and maybe 10-20 bars with some small-mid sized music venues and those smaller cities are where I struggle to have as much success (in the more "cliquey"/"college town" type social scenes) even if I'm having a good night and enjoying the music/scene etc.. In bigger cities I do a little better.

I usually only drink 1-2 drinks max and I feel comfortable enough going up to talk to/hit on girls at the bar or poking at girls on the edge of a dance floor, etc. I do feel like I stand out a bit as I've always felt/seen myself as awkward or socially un-calibrated, but I don't let that get to me. I generally have fun and try not to make "getting girls" the focus of my night.

I'm sure a lot of guys have had similar type experiences as introverts, and I'd really appreciate hearing tips, advice or perspectives!

[JonVonstroke]

(10-30-2018 07:26 PM)dirty_old Wrote:  

Title pretty much says all. Any personal experience, suggestions of "pua's" who cover this well, or relevant "pickup material" written by introverts?

I've searched and read a bunch of other relevant posts, and many times you can tell from writing style etc whether a forum poster is more introverted or not. A lot of valuable info for example the "dance floor game" post, also some others with tips on pre going out routines (like working out and/or generally going out of the way during the day to be social, prior to going out)...but no posts covering night game & introverts specifically.

Interested in pushing myself to consistently get better at night game.

I have had times in my life when I've had pretty good luck pulling girls home from clubs and bars. Like 1 in every 5 times going out at times in my late 20's & early 30's. After college I never had/liked a large social group to go out with so I'm definitely to the point where I have no problem going out solo, at least 95% of the time I'll go out solo. I usually prefer the more crowded places, I'm not as comfortable in smaller bars (which is one thing I'd like to push myself to get over).

Often I find I'm in some small city that has 1-2 small clubs, and maybe 10-20 bars with some small-mid sized music venues and those smaller cities are where I struggle to have as much success (in the more "cliquey"/"college town" type social scenes) even if I'm having a good night and enjoying the music/scene etc.. In bigger cities I do a little better.

I usually only drink 1-2 drinks max and I feel comfortable enough going up to talk to/hit on girls at the bar or poking at girls on the edge of a dance floor, etc. I do feel like I stand out a bit as I've always felt/seen myself as awkward or socially un-calibrated, but I don't let that get to me. I generally have fun and try not to make "getting girls" the focus of my night.

I'm sure a lot of guys have had similar type experiences as introverts, and I'd really appreciate hearing tips, advice or perspectives!

Can an introverted man achieve success during night game: yes.

Is it the most conducive for a variety of game for him: no.

In my experience, if you're cold approaching women at night you need to make sure your aura and verbal rap are on point. Especially if you're an average looking chap and if you're going out alone.

A woman's self-worth is at an all-time high during the night. Lots of women nowadays go out for the sole purpose of feeding their egos. Or are in big bitchy and seemingly impregnable groups of women(girls night out only).

If you're passive and your confidence and resolve aren't rock-solid then you're gonna get chewed up and spit back out.

A good verbal rap gives you a tremendous advantage as most people nowadays are socially autistic. I am quite introverted by nature, but I know the rigors of night game so I have made a concerted effort over the years to be more extroverted when I am out at the bar/club.

The quite mysterious wall-flower at the bar/club does not get laid.

You're not going to 'wow' women with your invisible brilliance; if you don't proactively express yourself you might as well not exist.

Something I have noticed over the years: the more expressive I am; the more masculine energy I exude, the more women I talk to; the more I get laid...

[Sombro]

I'm definitely an introvert but got plenty of notches during college through my twenties playing in regional bands.
So this is probably more a local version of 'fame game' more than anything.

Advice to introverts: Know, find, or develop your talents as early as you can. (Mine were art and music.)
The better you get at something --> more people notice, widening your social net.
Confidence comes from competence, pushing aside introversion -- at least for a limited time.

[BadBoyGamer]

Quote:

I generally have fun and try not to make "getting girls" the focus of my night.

I do the opposite. I cannot stand loud envoirements and drunk people in crowds. Instead of "having fun" I focus my attention solely on the girls. Either I get laid or I get to improve my pickup skills. It is work. Hard work.

Quote:

I stand out a bit as I've always felt/seen myself as awkward or socially un-calibrated

I feel like this as well as I am there with a clearly defined mission. It is not my aim to be social, friendly or to have fun. My mission is to get laid. As quickly and efficiently as possible.

[MPD]

Occasionally, yes. Consistently, no.

Introverts quickly feel drained of energy in a crowded bar or club. Sure, there are ways to limit that (alcohol, timing, practice) but the setting remains unnatural, maybe even hostile for extreme introverts.

One assist is to seek out the introverted girls in the venue. There's always at least one. Comfort is almost immediate but on some level, you still compete with Luke life of the party to attract her.

By the by, 20% hit rare in night game is pretty good, at least by my standards. That's assuming you actually find them attractive of course.

[realologist]

I'm more introverted than extroverted. There some things I always do when I end up successful.

1. Go somewhere earlier in the day and talk to some people.

2. Use strong body language and dancing to lure chicks in and isolate them from there

3. Don't be afraid to go up to the bar by yourself, go outside, basically just give yourself a moment just to take a break and refocus.

4. Try and pull a chick earlier than closing. That'll limit how much time you have to be out

5. If you do hook a chick, keep a strong frame and let her get trapped in your orbit in your world. That's one advantage introverts have over extroverts. That girl will be yours. It's like fishing. If you do it right you're like a slow moving bait and they take a hard bite at it if they like it. You set that hook and she's not getting free. She's yours. Just set it and reel her in.

[JackinMelbourne]

(10-31-2018 04:20 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  

I feel like this as well as I am there with a clearly defined mission. It is not my aim to be social, friendly or to have **fun**. My mission is to get laid. As quickly and efficiently as possible.

Why bother if that process is not **fun**?

As for the OP question: I'm pretty sure Owen/Tyler Durden from RSD was and still is an introvert who is now more experienced and doesn't come across as one.

I reckon a lot of "PUAs" are probably introverts because any non-introvert wouldn't even delve so deep into picking up women.

[BadBoyGamer]

(11-11-2018 04:45 PM)JackinMelbourne Wrote:  

(10-31-2018 04:20 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  

I feel like this as well as I am there with a clearly defined mission. It is not my aim to be social, friendly or to have **fun**. My mission is to get laid. As quickly and efficiently as possible.

Why bother if that process is not **fun**?

I am there to pickup drunk chicks.

Wanking is not fun.

[lunchmoney]

Being an introvert trying to pull via night game seems to be a painful exercise, especially in a club/bar setting. That's like a fat guy trying to pull in a gym.

[BadBoyGamer]

Fear. That is the problem.

If you cannot walk up to a girl in a bar or a club then you are afraid.

Introversion is just excuse to hide behind. This way you do not have to admit your fear and insecurities.

[The King]

I think too many guys confuse introvert/extrovert with a lack of confidence.

I don't know where I read this, but my personal distinction between both is just a matter of where you recharge your batteries i.e feel at ease.

I consider myself an introvert in the sense that I need to spend the majority of my time either alone or with family only. That's how I relax.

This has no correlation to my social ability, especially not with women. I do prefer going out solo when chasing women however.

I think a lot of people use the word introvert when instead they are just uncool, unsocial, nerdy...etc. These things can all be changed.

[rottenapple]

Co-sign with The King, I consider myself an introvert as well, but I do very well in nightlife. I can also be energetic, social, direct approach and have a good social circle wherever I am. I am not timid. I just have days I don't want to be around people, I don't like girls staying too long and need alone time.

If you are timid in nightlife you could probably use a drink (or something more) to get in the right mood and then gain experiences which will make it easier every time. I don't think there are many people that are at ease sober in a rowdy nightclub, extroverts or introverts. Start with bars and/or lounges, have some drinks till you are in the mood and then go with the flow. Also, don't pressurize yourself. I go out with no expectations at all, some nights are just not 'on', go out alone and see what the setting is. If it sucks then you can just go home, no damage done. As long as you put yourself out there and give it a shot, things will be better than you expect.

[Quays2]

This may be a stupid question but music in clubs I’ve gone too seems to be too loud to hear anything (I do seem to have worse hearing than most though so maybe it’s just me). But just wondering how you manage to have conversations in clubs...maybe clubs in my city have louder music? Not sure.

[RatInTheWoods]

You need a very solid extrovert wingman.


He can open and extrovert, but you better bring value, game and finishing moves.

[BadBoyGamer]

Advantage of loud and crazy clubs is that nothing matters.

You can do whatever the fuck you want and get away with it.

Next day you are forgotten. As if you never existed.

[Conquerer7]

As a few have said, I would consider myself an introvert who can be very social when needed and find night game to be successful for me.

[Fortis]

Linux is an introvert (or at least I suspect he is) and he seems to be quite good at night game. Of course, he's jacked as fuck so that's probably one of his ways "in."

Honestly I'd say most forum members are introverts, but they make it work.

[dknightbro]

Through good ol' fashioned hard work.

It'll take time, but you can reach a point where you are comfortable in nightlife (even more than a lot of the girls themselves).

Coming from a point where I couldn't even approach a girl in nightlife, I know it can be done. Much less I don't really have AA now so I can enjoy the process a lot more now.

[Cattle Rustler]

Give me enough margaritas and I'll the most extroverted motherfucker on earth.

Also, please give me tacos.

[lunchmoney]

(11-13-2018 01:49 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

You need a very solid extrovert wingman.


He can open and extrovert, but you better bring value, game and finishing moves.

This.

If you are an introvert, your wingman needs to have a personality that compliments yours i.e is an extrovert or comfortable with cold approaches and rejection.

[The Golden God]

Lots of intelligent guys think that they are introverts.

Years of athletic coaching and training in martial arts has taught me that there aren't two categories of introvert and extrovert. Yes, they are accurate in describing tendencies at a set point in time, but I think people defining themselves as one or the other doesn't make any sense.

You'll always hear people talking about someone they know that is "really quiet but once you get to know them, they won't stop talking."

Everyone wants to be able to talk to people about their life and interests.

My theory is that most "introverts" are just intelligent people that value meaningful conversation. They don't feel the need to constantly talk and draw attention to themselves. They are used to thinking about what they say & do, and they are careful in their actions.

Same people that prefer to research and read before trying things (lots of guys on the forum like this).

Your "introversion" is not holding you back. Don't put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Build your look so that it reflects who you are, carry yourself in a way that makes people wonder about you.

I am an "introvert". I don't like being the loud and talkative one who is the center of the room. But, I am a great conversationalist and I have strong body language. If I'm in a club, I aim to be the calm and collected guy leaning back and having interesting conversations with cool girls I like instead of the clown who does his tricks for every girl he think he might have a shot with.

How? Because I had to put in the work for these things, and since I know the ins-and-outs, I will outperform just about every "natural extrovert". I play to my talents and I reap the rewards of being a genuine guy, who has no vulnerable fake extroverted facade.

[Nefarias]

I would always daygame in a mall/street few hours before going to a club/bar, this way I probably have at least some numbers and feel more outcome independent and in social mood. Also you can focus on different parts of a club like smoking area etc. where it's less crowded. I also often feel like I stand out when rolling solo and everybody is watching me, but in reality nobody gives a shit about some random dude. It takes some time to push past the uncomfortable feeling, but it gets better after a while.

[Barron]

I'm an introvert and have had some success with nightgame due to the long dark winters here in Ukraine.

Spring/Summer: extended daylight hours + warm weather = street daygame paradise.
Autumn/Winter: minimal daylight hours + cold weather = bar nightgame paradise.

This means you adapt to the seasons or you go prolonged periods without getting shit.
Street daygame in the warmer seasons is my bread&butter, but Bar nightgame has never been enjoyable for me. Luckily I met a new American guy here, he's really into bar hopping and is extremely social. He doesn't know shit about game but he listens whenever we discuss women/relationships/etc., which is quite often.

We've found a couple spots that are mostly free of turks/foreigners and have good ratios on weekends and sometimes during the week. Our process is the same: walk into the bar, order our drinks, and stand in a good spot that isn't too loud but where foot traffic is high and our backs are to a wall or the bar.

We're always in good spirits whenever we go out and when hot girls walk by I'll usually open with something simple like "what are you drinking?" "I like your shoes" "how tall are you?" etc. Our results vary but it's rare for us to end a night without hooking a couple girls. Sometimes they stay sometimes they go, when they stay they'll usually bring their friends over or we combine groups if they're with more than one other girl (often the case). My wingman is in his element whenever he's chatting up a group, meanwhile I'm usually focused on isolating a girl.

tldr:
1. Find a wingman that is more extrovert than you but will listen to your game advice
2. Find a couple places that you like and aren't loud as fuck
3. Setup shop in a place where foot traffic is high and your openers can't be ignored

#1 Was the hardest. If I hadn't met this guy I wouldn't be getting the results I'm getting. Luckily our different personalities compliment each other's and we both give&take value from the other equally.

Disclaimer#1: you should both have strong inner game to ensure your outcome independence. This will not work if one or both of you supplicate or are willing to bail on the other if a chick is dtf. It's obvious when a girl is interested in one of us, we DO NOT call it a night when the IOI's are streaming in. We fuck when we're good and ready and not before, pussy can wait for the dick to say when the night is over. If the girl doesn't like it, she can leave (but rarely does).

Disclaimer#2: I'm in Ukraine and Russian is a MUST. You don't have to be fluent but you should be good enough to understand at least half of what is being said around you. We command respect when girls know they can't talk about how they're going to fuck us over for free drinks right in front of us. My Russian sucks but my Wingman's is advanced. This also reinforces that we're local, if even we're not born here.

[tugofpeace]

Emulate James Bond with your own flair

Being introverted doesn't mean you're unconfident or shy. Some people just don't like talking for the sake of talking, and many of those people have high standards for who they converse with..

[RoadTo100]

In my opinion as long as you can genuinely have fun while going out at nights you can have success. If you don't view it as fun, but instead an anxiety-inducing, laborious prospect, then night-game isn't a good fit and you should focus on other game avenues.

For me personally, going out *too often* at night causes it to lose its fun (since the same-old, same-old routine gets tiring and feels like a chore), that's when I pull back and stop going out for a few weeks.

So along the introversion---extroversion scale probably introverts get tired of night game faster, but given enough downtime between sessions I think almost everyone can enjoy going out.